Monday, January 30, 2012


As the Professional CEO of this home, or aka The Stay-At-Home-Mom that I have been for many moons now, I have realized a few things that are crucial to my survival and happiness with my current employment.

Some other moms may not agree with my methods, but they are tried, and true to me, and they have failed me NOT. And well, this is my story and I am sticking to it.

On the weekends, when everyone else is officially OFF, I have declared that I am too.
That means I don't do laundry.
I don't do dishes unless I want to.
We eat pizza or leftovers.
I don't sweep.
I don't mop.
I am OFF work.

Well, this method is tried and true, and it works quite well that is, until Monday morning rolls around.

On Monday mornings I wake up knowing what lies ahead.
I know full well what happens when I have left the mess of 2 days work for this One Day.
"Looks like someone's got a case of The Mondays", at least no one says that to me while I quietly go about my business. Most Mondays, I don't mind the mess. I am happy for the time OFF and happy to get back to work, But...

This particular Monday morning, while texting some of my girlfriends, who will be referred to as "My 3 Cups of Awesome", from here on out,(they know who they are) I was be-moaning my Monday morning mess.

I said, "I feel it's abusive the disastrous state in which my family leaves this house for me to clean on Monday mornings. I also feel that with such abuse there should be like a CPS number that MOMS could call when they want to report and abusive family."

Think of the things you could call this number for?

I can think of so many reasons to call a support line like that.

Like, how about when you have just done the laundry, folded it all nicely, and asked that your boys put it away in their drawers. Only to find the very same clean clothes back in the dirty clothes hamper a few days later... unworn... ABUSE.

Or what about when you have swept and mopped the floor, your back is hurting from the bending over to make a floor so spotless you could eat off of it, only to have muddy rain boots walk across the whole house before they realize they didn't concede to the "Shoes Off" policy posted on the door.... ABUSE.

How about you just cleaned the fridge. Top to bottom you spent a good portion of your day in the muck and mire that is your fridge. It was cold and tedious. It was not fun, but it's beautiful now. Sparkling white. But wait, Red Juice just got spilled, no tipped over, all down the sides, the selves, the bottom..... ABUSE.

So what number could we call?

Well, if your mom is still alive I would suggest this number;




What are some reasons you would call The Mom Abuse hot line?
What number would you call?


N. Rose said...

You referred to yourself in the 3 cups hahaha. And I would call 1-800-free-shots-of-whiskey. :) you're so cute. And I'm thinking I'll steal this whole "weekends off" idea. Me likey.

Noel said...

Oh yea, sometimes that's fun to do. LOL I like your numba! If you do take weekends off just be prepared for Mondays.

Words of Wisdom from Izzy's Ma said...

Roxie Bell once told me to take at least one day off each week. I didn't listen to her. Im glad to see you have more sense than I did. My only suggestion is that you make a weekend jobs list that the kids can sign up for to earn a little cash. These jobs would have to be above and beyond regular duties. Call this advice a little Roxie Bell-Suze Orman fusion.

Noel said...

Roxie was a wise woman. A weekend jobs list is a great idea, although then my family wouldn't feel as though they are OFF. Maybe just one day OFF for all, hmm... kinda like someone other than Roxie told us to do this:)
My kids come to me when they want money and know that they will have to work for it. They say, "Mom what can I do to ear some money" and then I tell them. The interesting part is that sometimes they opt not to do the job which is a good weeding out process for things they don't really want.

Noel said...

*earn money... not ear :)

shontell said...

I would call 976 BABE. Thats where you get good looking replacements, so I can disappear, and everyone else is still happy because there is still someone pretty in the house.

Noel said...

3CA- YOU could never, ever be replaced. NEVER!!

bean said...

yeah the fab 4 need to do some fab work for their mama! i mean if they helped make the mess they should help clean it, right? although i realize things like doing dishes and laundry are double duty if you are having a little one help, but hey you have got some big ones in the house too, put 'em to work no charge.

Noel said...

Bean- you and Momma Nash are so right. I need to learn to delegate better! I just... well, I am a wuss!

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