Little Eyes, Soap Operas, and Me

"Oh Be Careful Little Eyes what You See,

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See,

For The Father Up Above Is Looking Down With LOVE,

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See."
Have you ever heard this old Sunday School children's song? It goes on to say, Oh Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear Oh Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say  and then back again to the Eyes. It's a classic Sunday School song that has always stuck with me. This past week I was reminded of this song two times. Once with a boy child, and once with a "woman child in a state of Grace." You see, I had one of those profound moments as a parent where you live out a lesson you yourself learned long ago, only now you are on the other end of the lesson.  When I was a young girl I used to watch Soap Opera's. SHOCK. AWE. GASP. Yes, Soap Opera's were my vice. My all time favorite was Days of Our Lives, and later it was All My Children. I would come home from school everyday and turn on the TV to my favorite Soap, eat my after school snack, and dream about the day that A Knight and Shining Armor would come whisk me off my feet and make passionate love to me. Yep. That was me. Until one day I realized that Soap Operas to a woman are kind of like what Porn is to a Man.  Don't act so surprised, you know it's true. We love the story, the romance, the ultimate drama, and not so much the reality. Ok, now hold on right there. IF you are a grown woman who watches Soaps I mean you no harm.  To each his or her own. But for me, there was a point in time that I distinctly remember realizing that Soaps would no longer be healthy for my life, and for the realities in life so I gave them up. So fast forward almost 20 years and I find myself having to teach my children this lesson of being careful about what they spend their free time watching, reading, and looking at.
You've heard that saying,  "You are what you eat." Well, to me watching and reading is kind of our soul's way of eating. What we watch we digest. What we read we digest. And so I realized that I didn't want to digest SOAP anymore. Are you tracking what I'm laying down? That kind of fantasy life only leads to discontentment with reality.  I wanted contentment. I wanted reality. So I gave up Soap. (I didn't give up soap, like real soap silly. I promise I'm still fresh smelling) I have to admit was a strange thing to return to this lesson as the one on the other side of the fence.  When my children had the reactions they did I was surprised at how attached they were to what they were watching/reading.  There were tears. There were hugs. And ultimately, I hope I portrayed the true heart of God which is that although we won't go to "HELL" for watching things like Soap Opera's it's just not the best use of our time. And, it's kind of like... "Garbage in, Garbage out." (I hate even using that cheesy phrase but it really is so very true) I'm glad that song says, "For the Father up above is looking down with LOVE" because that is also the truth. He doesn't condemn us for these kinds of things that eat up our free time, and are frankly a nice distraction sometimes. I think, He just really longs for that time to be spent with Him. It's a good lesson. It's a good reminder. It's all good.
Happy Monday Beloved Reader.

One Year Later

I have gone to Pikes Market more times than I care to mention and still every time I am blown away that I live so close that I could shop there for fresh flowers if I wanted to.

I have missed, birthdays, weddings, funerals, baby showers, bridal showers, baby arrivals, and countless other important dates that rip my heart out every time they pass by and I am here and they are there.

I have finally gotten to the point where I am not afraid to drive around here without Gloria Paige Smith aka GPS.


I have come to realize that although I love Seattle, it is just a place.

I have changed I hope for the good in ways that I wouldn't have if I never moved out of the state that I lived in for 35 years. In ways that I never thought were possible. In ways I never knew I was capable of.



I have a husband who has become my one and only truly all over again. I have 4 children who right before my eyes are quickly becoming young/big people. These surroundings are the only ones that are still the same. Everything and Everyone else has changed.

I have a new job. It's a good job. I am thankful for it. It works out perfectly with my other job of being CEO of Scofield international.

I have reinvented what it looks like to be a mother to Emma, Chloe, Solomon, and Isaiah.

I have realized that the older I get the less I know for sure and the more I find myself saying," I don't know" when I thought I would know more.

Hope Part 3

“ But this I recall and therefore I have HOPE and expectation;

It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not.
They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion or share says my living being (inner self); therefore I will hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him, inquire of Him, and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God’s word. It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation, the safety and ease, of the Lord."
Lamentations 3:21-26

This would be the portion of these past 3 blogs where I would like to take the right to use a little thing called a soap box. If you would be so kind as to let me get up on it for a minute, I promise not to stay there for very long.

In the above scripture the writer says that "It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness" that he has HOPE , expectations, and is not consumed. I too, would like to shout out a HUGE; AMEN,or here, here !, or YES !, or I agree wholeheartedly with that!! There were so many, many things this past year that tried to consume me and yet, I had HOPE. There are so many things these days that come to rob, kill, and destroy the life that God has given us... but IF we hope in Him we won't be consumed.

I would like to say that the above scripture is quickly becoming one of my all time favorites because it talks about not only HOPE, but also the reward for those that HOPE in Christ Jesus, "Safety, Ease, Peace, Salvation" these are all the rewards of hoping in God. He is the only one worth hoping in, because He never fails.

I could easily look back on this past year and think, "How could you have failed me God? Where are you in all of this wreckage that is now my financial situation?" But, I don't see it like that. I choose NOT to see it like that. I SEE that God was there all along. That HE was the one that kept my children from harm these past 2 years when we didn't have health insurance for them. That he kept food on our table, warmth in our cabin, and people around us for support. That he kept Mo and my hearts intertwined, in love, and gave us strength in character when the times got really tough. That HE changed our hearts and minds, and healed our internal emotional wounds, like no Doctor ever could. That HE is still healing, still moving, still alive, and still worth hoping in.

This is the God I serve.

This is why I HOPE in Him.

This is why I wait, expectantly for Him to turn ALL things to GOOD.

After all, isn't He the one that calls a thing "GOOD" - Genesis 1:31

I don't think I could explain better than what this says for the reason of my HOPE. And so that being said, I am getting off my box now. Hope is a powerful God given tool to keep us out of the "depths of despair" . To quote from Anne of Green Gables "to be in the depths of despair means you have turned your back on God". Friends, don't turn your back on God.

You can bank on Him, truly like no other.

HE IS FAITHFUL and so full of HOPE!

Turning the Corner

It was the first day of summer today.
It didn't feel like the first day of summer.

I worked from 8-5p today and sat there thinking of all the fun things I could be doing with my family and friends.

I am thankful for my job.
I am taking deep, deep breaths regarding this said job.

It was hard to go to work this morning.
It is hard to be a grown-up sometimes.

I am ready for a new tattoo and I am pretty sure that it will have something to do with this past year, a symbol of HOPE.

I am singing, "Oh Mr Sun, SUN PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME" an awful lot these days.
I am also singing, a quiet song in my soul that helps me feel better.

It isn't always easy moving 700+ miles away, especially on days like Father's Day.
It is still beautiful, green, and where I want to be though.

I really miss my niece.
I like watching Reno 911, it reminds me of why I moved.

It is funny how I say, "That is NOT okay" so much when I am teaching that only 2 months later my new students are now saying this phrase. Makes me smile.
It is strange how the text, Ephesians 4, keeps popping up and reminding me of so many things I need to remember.

I am amazed at how Coconut Creme Pie can transport one to the heavenly realms. Thank you Gramma Shelle.
I am thankful for words.

It is the first day of summer for me in a new state, with a new job, and a new season of life has once again turned the corner.

The Book- Jesus For President ,The Movie- Avatar, The Church Bethany UCC,and my thoughts lately

I have been reading another one of Shane Claiborne's books Jesus for President by Chris Haw and Shane. The first book of Shane's that I recently blogged about here a few months back, Irresistible Revolution still seems so fresh in my mind, and has left me haunted in many ways that I am not doing enough to make this world a better place.
This new book I chose to read to stay on that same train of thought( the train that wants to make the world a better place is not an easy train to be on), has done the same thing, but magnified that thought x 1000!

Seriously, I have to say, that this book is even more challenging than the first because it deals so much with politics and how they correlate with being a Christian. Politics have changed and are still changing for me on a daily basis. Honestly, though they are not my full-time job, not even my part-time job for that matter and by that I mean I would consider myself to be the average American voter who only pays attention to things when election years roll around. That is some real, REAL honesty there(so don't be a judger). SO, reading this book which is primarily written by two extreme activists in this regard has made me realize how my ignorance was really bliss! Now that I know what I know after reading this book I can't turn back.

It talks about the violence of wars and their aftermath. What it looks like to be a Christ follower, who if we are truly following in Christs foot-steps we are to love our enemies, do good to those that hurt us, and I am pretty sure He said something about turning the other cheek. He never said, take what you want, when you want it and by all means use force to get it if necessary. Which btw, is pretty much in a nutt-shell the U.S. of A's entire history.
PLEASE,Please, don't take me wrong I am EXTREMELY grateful for this country and although I believe many of our ways are twisted and could use a serious wake-up call, there is also another side of the US that I see, in the faces and stories everyday that are good, but for the sake of what I am internalizing right now I have to say personally I see so many more changes that need to be made, rather than things that would be good if they stayed the same. Hope that makes sense?

I think this book combined with being totally blown away by the new movie Avatar has made me angry with our country and it's history. I hope it's a righteous anger, but all I know is it makes me want to do something, anything to make things better in this country. If you have seen the movie than I hope you get the correlation about taking things by force and how much the US has played a part from it's very origin in doing this very shameful act of injustice.

On top of this book, and that movie there is the new church I have been attending, Bethany United in Seattle or Bethany UCC.
This church if full and I do mean full of WORLD CHANGERS! Like this past Sunday, they had an amazing speaker, Pramila Jayapal, who talked about immigration reform. It was powerful. It was challenging to listen to the stories of immigrants whose rights as human beings are being violated every day in the name of the law. I cried silent tears pretty much the whole time she was talking for many reasons.
And now here tonight my heart is torn.
My eyes of full of tears again for so many reasons.
I am wondering what is my part in all of this?
She said something that I believe sums up what is happening to me, "If you allow yourself to feel fully everyday it is a courageous act. You can't help but become an activist."
I don't allow myself to feel fully everyday. It hurts way too much. I think I am beginning to awaken more feelings about all of this stuff and it scares the hell out of me because I know where this train of thought leads.
Why am I on this train again? Oh yeah, because I have 4 children.
This train of thought is not easy.
It's not for cowards. In fact it's not coward friendly at all, which is what I am to the core.
Like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz, I talk a big game, but I am scared and allow fear to dominate so many of the choices that I make in life. My phlegmatic nature is opposed to being an activist, but it's never too late to change.
I am beginning to find my ROAR though.
I hope that this new voice I have found always speaks
Life instead of Death,
Love instead of Hate,
Mercy instead of Judgement.
Honestly, Oh God I pray, I hope it sounds more and more like a Lamb than A Lion.

Some things... about cleaning... and Me

Some things I hate cleaning...

The Inside of a Microwave when something has exploded.

The underbelly of a Toilet.

The remnants of any and all excretions from my Dog.

Any and all dusting.

The inside of my junk drawers.

The corners of my kitchen floor.

Food that has been left to forever change the shape of a dish.




Some things I enjoy cleaning....

(Pshh, who am I trying to kid you all know I hate to clean!! )

Still there are a few things I don't mind cleaning...

My Bed, love the smell of clean sheets

Ironing, love the smell and warmth (I have shared this before but thought it deserved mentioning since my list is so short)

The outside of a dishwasher, oven, refrigerator and microwave.

My Car.


Some people that make all cleaning tolerable for me ...

Dean Martin

Frank Sinatra

Billy Holiday

and ... Louie Armstrong

Things I know for sure

Some things I know for sure-

I have found myself to be a person in process and I am okay with that.
I am no longer the person I once was when I started walking with Jesus 20 years ago.
I have not forgotten the wonderful things He has done for me in my life nor will I ever forget.
There is a passion still there to learn more about Him.
There is no where else I could go to find the Love that He brings.
He has a beauty that is beyond compare.
His way is the best way.
His character is one that has proven to be so unlike that of human nature.
This is what still intrigues me.
This is what I pursue.
He is what really matters.
I have realized some interesting things along the way though.
Things about humans that I wish weren't true but alas they are.
It's not about what a person speaks but rather what they do.
It doesn't matter if you say you are a follower if you don't follow.
You are not a leader without followers.
No one can speak to my heart and change it better than He.
People tend to take for granted what they are given freely.
Human- is a race that feels entitled.
Gifts are given freely from no one other than Jesus.
No one can take from you the gifts that God gives.
There is nothing better in life to pursue than Love and God is LOVE.

Here's to being 33

Well, tomorrow is my 34th birthday. I have to say that my 33rd year was a very interesting one and I am sure that it is one that I will look back on with some regret but also one that I will never forget. 

So much happened to me this year that I feel in many ways I went through somewhat of a mid-life crisis if you will. A bit early I suppose although who said this was ever supposed to be at a certain time. 

Some things that happen in a mid-life crisis are as follows; 

You questions many things in life.

You begin to wonder what's it really all about.

You change what you can and wish you could change more than that.

For some this means buying a new car, I didn't. Getting a new partner, I didn't. Changing your hair, I did. Losing weight, wish I did . Some move far, far away, I didn't. Some just go crazy nuts, I suppose I did in some ways, not my fault though. Some change careers, I thought about this but then that would mean I need a career in the first place. I did however rethink a time or two about the career I have been learning about for over ahem....15 years or more. 

I have to say that I am not one to get weird about getting older. To me it's just a number.

 I am thankful that 34 years ago a woman named Ellen and her honey Greg brought a baby home in a big red stocking and loved that baby oh so well. I am thankful that I have had 34 years here. That's alot of years to enjoy many things. It is also alot of years to see sadness but being the eternal optimist that I am I REFUSE to stay there. I am thankful for my life that God has so graciously given me. Oh yeah, and I am also thankful I came a week early :)

 I am also thankful that I now have a Baskin Robbins right down the street from me and that tonight is $1 scoop night. 

My Dad and Politics

In conversations with my dad yesterday we did something we haven't done in a long time. We talked politics. Normally my dad has always been a no muss,  no fuss I am voting republican and that's it, kinda guy. He did say that he has to keep the issues simple for himself and the biggest issue that he faces with Obama is that he is pro-choice. 

I told him that I didn't think so, he obviously is pro-life he has two daughters himself. He laughed, but underneath I know it got him thinking. I told him I thought that it is such a shame that people would totally overlook a genuine good man in politics for that one issue. I understand how passionate the issue of abortions and pro-life vs choice is. Trust me, when I was a teenager I was one of the sign holders down town in Carson City who was spit on for my beliefs. Also, I am one who since the time I was a little girl I didn't have pictures of the teen idols hanging in my bedroom, Oh no it was pictures of cute little babies that was my choice for decor in those days. And anyone who knows me , knows I am a lover of babies, children, life in general and all things that promote that. 

Here is where my dilemma lies, just because on paper a person would say they are pro-choice is it that cut and dry? I don't believe that it is. I understand that for those that pick that box it is not just that easy. Just as for those of  us who pick the box that says life if when standing before us was a person in flesh in blood,  the woman who has been violated and is now found pregnant, and no one else can do that job of carrying that life for 9 months but her, would feel a tinge of at least, this is not as cut and dry as I thought. Neither box is an easy one to pick and for the record I still very much pick the box that says life but I do so with a great sensitivity toward those who don't, not an arrogance or self rightouesness. 

I would like to ask each and everyone of us that do pick that box when faced with the young lady in our lives who got pregnant before we thought they should have, how did we handle this situation?  Honestly, what was our first reactions? How supportive  were we of this young lady whose whole life has now been turned upside down? Recently, my heart was broken for a young lady at youth camp who has an almost one year old daughther now and  who was told she couldn't help out with the youth because "her walk with Jesus was not strong enough". Here is the girl who did the right thing and is now paying the price for it in the camp that checks the box "life". GO figure!!!  I told her I was sorry and that just because she didn't have the title leader she most certainly can and will lead by her actions and that God knows her heart.

Here is the question for me, because I  go vote for  someone who is not pro life on paper, does that then advocate or say I am in agreement with this persons box that says choice? I am pretty sure that the world of politics and the issues that we face are bigger and more complicated than that. 

This fall will be the first time I am voting democrat and it is because in years past I just kept it simple, stuck with that one issue and voted morally the way that I saw fit.  This year will be different. 

Unless a meteorite comes down and takes Obama out or he asks Hillary to be his Vice President I will be voting for him. I have been doing a lot of reading up about him and I believe what he has to offer our country at this time in history is of great value. I am still listening and watching for anything that would cause me to cast my ballot otherwise, right up until the day I will be praying about it but right now that is where I am at.

I understand completely if I get absolutely no comments on this blog because I realize it is a hot topic , these are just some of my thoughts take em or leave em.

The Park in Vienna

For me there is absolutely nothing better than sitting on a park bench with a cup of joe or a glass of wine depending on the time of day. I love watching the world go by. I am a Frederick field mouse and if I could pick a picture that best describes me in a photographic way it would probably be the one at the top.

If it were not for my fellow journey men and women on this path called life I don't think I would get up from those park benches and experience life. I would let life come to me. I find it so interesting that life does find a way of finding me even when I would prefer to sit still.

Maybe it's the beauty that I hear in silence or that I know so many have sat and thought the very same things and that there truly is nothing new under the sun except for me. There has never been another me.

My eyes see things different.

My ears hear things different.

My voice is unique.

What I say may have been said before but not exactly the same.

That to me is so cool.

Me and the Dentist

I had the best dental experience today that I have ever had. I forgot I was at the dentist because my new dentist and his assistant were so incredibly funny. I got up from the chair when it was all done and felt I should tip them for their comedy relief. Later today when thinking back on the experience they put a smile on my face not only because my teeth got fixed but it was so easy, and dare I say it, fun!!! The icing on the cake for sure though was the bill which was incredibly lower than what I am used to. Gotta love that.
So this is a shout out for my new dentist, located off of Greenbrae in Sparks, Dr. Bobby Locke.

My thoughts for today

My oldest sister Jenny left for Budapest on Monday and naturally I have been thinking about her a lot. I have been wondering what she has been experiencing on the first few days of her arrival. Today she emailed everyone in the family to say that she arrived safely but that she was having some issues with her internet access and a few other glitches. Before she left we were trying to think of all the things that she might miss the most about the U.S. She is definitely a planner and she tried to think of every possible thing that she might want but wouldn't be able to get while over there. She plans on being there for a year or more so you can imagine all the things that we were talking about.
Anyway, even with all that planning and thinking, here she is her first days and she is already experiencing some "technical difficulties" of a sort. This got me thinking down the path of what an adjustment it must have been for Jesus to come here to planet earth. He left His heavenly home where there was no hurt ,pain or sorrow, no hunger, time differences, etc... to arrive here as not a fully functioning adult but a baby completely dependent on His creation to care and comfort Him. This still trips me out. I don't know that once I get to heaven I would ever leave for anything but then I begin to think of people and I think would I leave all the comforts for people that I love?? The answer for this selfish , imperfect human being is YES, a resounding YES. This gives me some insight into the heart of my beautiful Savior who chose to leave heaven's home and make the journey here to experience every pain, every sorrow, more hurt then imaginable, and all the other discomforts of this human plight because of love.
He still amazes me. He still woos me with His love. I am thankful today for that love . I am grateful today for the breath that is within me and the opportunity to love Him back. To thank Him with my life.
My sister is learning what it is like to live in a foreign country , Jesus did the same but so much more. He did it all for love. He left heaven for not only the people that would love Him back but also for those who would never love Him, for those who spit on him, beat him, and even those who killed Him. He is so beyond my grasp of understanding. What little I do understand I love so much and for the rest I will spend my life trying to understand.

11 YEARS

I love you more with every day.

Whooo hooo it's finally back on!!!

I just thought I would share the fact that my favorite television show is back on. For the last five years now it has been pretty much the only thing that I tune into the idiot box for. I watch begining to end the journey that these contestants go on in thier quest for fame and fortune.
This show becomes somewhat of an addiction for me and so in attempt to not feel guilty this year I was thinking of how I could make it into a small group.
LOL!!! I actually did mention to the girls that watched with me tonight that this could be a small group but I don't know if the name is all that appropriate!!

me and my sister/friends!!!

So this is a picture of me and my beautiful sisters that I love so much. Being with them both is like Christmas for me, all in and of itself.
My older sister Jenny bought these hats for me and my younger sister Gina for ourDecember birthdays. In true girl dorky form we were so excited to all have matching hats but no where to wear them so we decided to go parading around the mall.
The funniest part was when a black man came up to us and asked us where he could get one, I almost couldn't contain my laughter, cause I did feel like a bit of a poser in the hat.
They are a true sign that Jen has been livin in LA for way too long and needs to move home!!!
Now, because I know that she will probably read this I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything and so in defense of the hat it is very, very warm and I most certainly will wear it again because of that.
Jenny is in Lavita right now on a ministry trip so if you would pray for her, health,clarity of speech, and bonding with the people she will be ministering to that would be much appreciated.

ummm... did i mention my love for babies

My love for babies goes way back. When I was a teen I didn't have pictures of the latest heart throb hangin up around my room , no I had pictures of cute lil babies. When most girls my age were going out on friday nights I was usually babysitting.
It is not at all surprising that I grew up and had four babies of my own but now that the baby making dept in the Scofields home is closed for business, and now that my youngest baby is almost 2 (actually just turned one in july) but you get my point right??
Well, it got me thinking ... unless the Giant allows for an adoption I will soon be going through some major baby withdrawls.
Uh oh!! I don't think my obsession for these lil people is going anywhere so ..... I am looking forward to when I get to enjoy my family and friends brand new babies(no pressure Gina and Iz, Dave and Jami, Ben and Jessica) hee hee hee!! Really, take your time but umm.. if you ask Em to be your babysitter don't be surprised if her mom comes right along with her.