Intrinsic Worth

I don't know if you know this, but I get really excited about words.  Words are my muse.   I love to hear them.  I love to sing them.  I love to speak them. I love to read them.  And I love when they are sweetly spoken to me. 

The other day, I read a phrase in the bible that jumped right out at me. The words intrinsic worth popped off the page this morning with such excitement it almost made a splash in my coffee.   Does that ever happen to you?  Not necessarily words that literally jump into coffee, but you read something or hear something and it just lingers? Well I read this little portion of scripture a few days ago;  "Stop regarding man, whose breath [of life] is in his nostrils [for so little time]; in what sense can he be counted as having intrinsic worth. "  Isaiah 2:22 And the phrase intrinsic worth got me so all kinds of excited that I tweeted it right then and there so I wouldn't forget it.  I immediately checked the googles for what the true meaning of this phrase might be. I found it hard to understand in a tangible human way, but incredibly worthy of a description for the Creator of this vast universe. It made me think and ask questions like what do I find worthy in this life?  Someone asked me a long time ago if you really want to know what matters in your life imagine your house is on fire ... what do you grab to get out as fast as you can, and what would you go back in there for? Of course everyone who has loved ones in their house would of course say them and their pets first, but then what would it be? When I think long and hard about that there isn't much I'd come running back inside a burning house  for, but I do have a binder of all titles, passports, social security cards, birth certificates that is easy accessible and ready to run out with.  The other stuff in comparison has no real worth except maybe some precious pictures and MY BIBLE.  My bible has countless notes and highlights and love letters in it from others that couldn't be replaced but what makes it intrinsically worthy to me has more to do with who wrote it and the conversations we've been having all these years because of that book. The whole entire bible is one long love letter to all of God's creation.  Yes, it can be hard to understand sometimes. Yes, it was written by men.  But it was, and is, and always will be breathed upon and made to come alive by God's own Spirit. Sometimes when I sit with my big bible (It's big because I chose an Amplified Version of the bible because there are MORE WORDS in it) I feel as though.. no I KNOW that God himself if sitting right there with me. Whispering sweet nothings ... wait sweet every-things and so much more into my ear. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."  Psalm 130:5

There are no other words so powerful as those that are spoken to the soul from it's creator.  Intrinsic Worth.  

Count it ALL Joy!

This lil gem was in my draft section and I blew the dust off because I needed the reminder maybe you do too ? 

I've been thinking about this scripture;

"Consider it all joy my brethren (or sisterhood) when you encounter various trials"

Have you heard these words from the book of James before?

You can find them in the very first chapter of the book of James in the bible.

It's hard to believe that this is what James, Jesus' brother wrote in the very beginning of his book.

It was like right off the bat he wants you to know, he's not gonna be the book you go to, to feel cozy and warm.

He didn't mess around that James dude!

As a writer you look for the opening statement that is grab your reader and keep them reader, I'd say James was a pretty damn good writer wouldn't you?

"Consider it all joy my brethren (or sisterhood) when you encounter various trials"

Ok maybe he doesn't have the sisterhood bit in there, but I'm sure that was just an oversight, I won't hold that against him will you?

The past few weeks I feel as though I have had me some trials!

I have heard me some trials from beloved friends!

They aren't the kind that are 3rd world trials by any means, but none the less they have been challenging to me and to those I love deeply. 

And whenever I go through tough times personally, or just from hearing of the variety of trials around me I always think to myself...

That James must have been on CRACK cause JOY is the last thing I think of when I'm having a bad day, week, month, YEAR!!

I mean no disrespect, but I wonder if anyone else can relate here?

I mean, if you take the word 

TRIAL

and then the word

JOY

they just don't seem like they would be best friends, do they?

Know what I'm sayin'? 

So, then I wonder what do trials and joy have any business doing together in the same sentence?

I think that might be a rhetorical question, but then again maybe not because I'm going to try and answer it too.

In the past few weeks I have asked for prayers for myself from "the sisterhood" about oh... I dunno... umpteen times. 

I felt kinda like a rug. 

Beaten and shaken out to dry!

But, in the midst of these couple of rough weeks I realized that something deeper was happening and if I could just make it to the finish line(or to the coffee pot) I would be o.k. 

And, I can honestly say, that is why ... Today, I had myself a GREAT day!!

I made it to the other side of FUNK mountain and I came out singing.

The light at the end of this tunnel of FUNK was so bright it almost blinded me today.

As I walked around with a song on my lips and a spring in my step I just thought... 

Here is where Joy and Trials go hand in hand. 

Because the truth of the matter beloved reader is that there may pain in the night but joy really does come in the morning when you just hold on for dear life to the Anchor, Creator, Giver, Savior, and Healer. 

New Year, New Word

You know the moment when you are barely awake in the morning, snuggled in your bed with your favorite pillow and blankets tucked around you just right. The moment when you realize you are awake but your mind drifts back to slumber and the air is cold because it's the middle of winter and you know that the warmth that is blanketed around you will quickly leave the moment you step your first foot on the floor?  That is the best description I can think of to try and explain how God's presence blankets his children with PEACE. It is a peace that surpasses understanding because even though the world around you is cold and barren, chaotic and often even devoid of life, you are blanketed in this warm feeling that everything is going to be alright and you don't know how to truly explain that you know this except to say, that God has given you  PEACE.
"Peace I leave with you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do NOT let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled." John 14:27
This peace that Jesus has left those of us that follow in his footsteps can blanket us everyday.  Even in our darkest moments his peace doesn't leave our sides. He walks with us to those dark places and shines the light in every corner and every crevice. He reminds us that when we open our eyes and we do step out of bed into the cold, dark world HE will be there to help us. 
When I began praying about what word I wanted to choose to remind me of something all year, the word Peace just kept coming to mind. I kept thinking of people that I know and have known in my life that have exuded peace. I thought of a counselor who My Giant and I recently went to for a lil marriage tune up and how one thing that Moses said he noticed right away was how peaceful this man is.  It made me long for that to be a description someone might use about me. And then I had a conversation with my sister Jen and we were talking about how we both really want new habits in our lives. And I was reminded of something a friend of hers once said that never really left me, 
"When did Jesus stop being enough?"
It left me a little weepy as I realized all the idols I have allowed in this temple, and I longed for Jesus to be that peace once again. I longed for my peace to come from the source of peace and balance, and goodness.  I wanted desperately to take back all the years, all the moments, that I had given someone or something else that very special place that should have only been reserved for him and him alone. 
As I have gotten older and the world around me has too, I need the peace that Jesus gives now more than ever.  I have always been a bit of worry wart and the only medicine for my overly anxious heart has only ever been Jesus, but sometimes I look to people, or my circumstances or a glass of wine to be that blanket of peace and without fail I'm left wanting.
"Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And GOD's PEACE shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of it's salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with it's earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that PEACE that transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7
This year marks 20 years of marriage. 17 years of being a parent. 40 years of being alive. The year my brother Greg will get married. 10 years of marriage for my sister Gina.  70 years for one of my life's greatest examples of peace, my Mom.
And those are just the moments I know will happen.  For all the unknown moments are what can weigh my heart down with anxiety, and worry. I need that blanket of PEACE that God gives, and I want to look to him before anyone or anything else. I want to walk out knowing fully that Jesus is enough! The only way I know how I can do this is to spend time with the Lover of My Soul and he reminds me that he really does have the whole world in his hands.  I can leave it all at his feet and he will carry my burdens.  When I'm in that blanket of peace I think of a saying my beloved Gram(the most peaceful person I've ever met) used to say;
"All this and Heaven too!!"

What a truly beautiful life!
Here's to a  NEW PEACEFUL HAPPY  YEAR!!

Love Yourself

Good Morning Beloved Reader.

Let's start this blog off on the right foot, or I guess if you prefer the left foot that's fine too, but let's start by talking about a quote shall we?

 “If you put a small value on yourself, rest as- 

sured that the world will not raise your price.” 

I absolutely love the above quote.  It makes me think of this scripture;
"Love your neighbor as you LOVE yourself"
We will come back to that later, because It also makes me think about those two beauties in the above picture.
Why? You ask.
Well,  I have noticed something, I'm not sure when it happened but my girls have turned into young women, and not just ANY young women. They are young women who walk around with a healthy dose of value, self worth, confidence, and wisdom.
It seemed like only yesterday that they were playing with dolls and giving each other rides around the house in the laundry baskets.  And now they look like this;

The one on the left is only 14 people.  FOURTEEN!! The one on the right ... well let's not mention how old she's going to be in a few months!
Back to the one on the left...
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to let her wear that red lipstick anymore. (Insert emoticon with a straight face and eyes wide open)  Ahem...  I'm also pretty sure I want her new favorite accessory of choice to be a brown paper bag with only the eye sockets cut out!! It's a good thing her dad is a GIANT named Moses or I'd be really worried.   But, you know I'm really not that worried because back to that quote up there this girl, my girl Chloe, has a high value for herself that I'm fairly certain will keep her from most things that most moms would worry about with a 14 year old daughter that looks like she's  TWENTY TWO!!
Yes, I'm raising two beautiful girls that not only value themselves but they truly are wise beyond their years. I know with complete certainty that this value and wisdom comes from their personal relationships with Jesus so I'm not about to take credit for it.
  But I also know that this world works night and day to try and de-value them. The world and it's message to these young women is working over time to tell them they aren't skinny enough, pretty enough, athletic enough, rich enough, witty enough, smart enough,  enough. enough.  enough.
I tire so quickly of that message.  In fact every new day I need a new message.  I need to hear that I'm loved, valued, appreciated, honored, treasured and so on and so forth.  I know that my girls need to hear this as well. And I would bet my 1966 vw buggy named Lucy Blue that it's a message YOU need to hear as well!
This message raises the price of my value by immeasurable numbers.  This message is one I can find readily available to me at any given moment.  It's also where I have read over a thousand times' "Love your neighbor as YOU LOVE YOURSELF"
A few weeks back my friend who also happens to be a Pastor and a really great teacher, he spoke about loving yourself. It struck a chord with me because I think that for me it's easier to love my neighbor than it is to love myself. I don't know about you all but sometimes I need a healthy dose of self love. Not to become conceited and narcissistic but just to bring back into line my true worth. I really do think that ONLY after I receive that self love message am I able to truly go out and love my neighbor.
Did you know that you beloved reader were purchased with a price?

Raise your price today.

Love yourself.

Listen to the message that says this;

1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Everyday Jesus sits waiting for us to listen to HIS message for us. 

He tries to speak to us in the trees of bright yellow, and the birds taking flight.

He tries to tell us that he made all of the beautiful things on this earth for us to enjoy and be filled with joy. 

I wonder, are we listening?

Mad At God

Good Morning Beloved Reader

I'm just going to get down to business with you all here today, because let me forewarn you this is a 

VERY LONG POST ahead!

Seriously, don't sit down for this bad boy unless you have a good cup of joe and lots o time on yer hands!

First, let me start with saying,

There is so much that I share with you here on a regular basis, but there is so much more that I don't.

The reason for this is because of God's Holy Spirit who gives me discernment. 

For some of you that sounds like mumbo jumbo churchy crap 

and 

For others of you, you're tracking and we can move on.

If you are in Group A. check out my post below and Go rent What About Bob.

If you are in Group B. walk with me please here for a minute or two, or maybe 20 ; )

I need your hand... 

Ok let's go...

This topic I knew was going to be a tricky one to convey my heart, but I'm hoping by sharing it with you all it might help someone else get to the end of this process a lot quicker than the 5 years it took me. 

I'm going to try and unpack a process of healing that has been 5 years in the making so stick with me, because there will be song, and dance, and rejoicing at the end. 

I realized something at the beginning of this brand new year,  and I don't want to scare you with this statement, but I have been mad at God. Not just that, but for 5 WHOLE years!! Some of you are thinking you should be skipping onto the next blog quick like, and in a hurry so you don't get struck with lightening by my statement up there, but for those of you who aren't  scurred  (that's how we say scared ) Don't be Scurred. Let me explain. Around 2008 there was an onslaught of very difficult, traumatic things that happened to us and to those very near and dear around us.  There was a an infant death a cancer a divorce an attempted suicide a sleep deprived nervous breakdown and finally the beginnings of a  a foreclosure, our foreclosure, and well lots of other foreclosures (foreclosure is such an ugly word don't cha think?) all in the year  2008.  That was 5 years ago. And there have been  more deaths more cancer more divorces thankfully no more suicide attempts or sleep deprived nervous break downs, but plenty more  foreclosures in this past 5 years. How many of you know that a lot, I mean A lot can happen in 5 years? How many of you also know that 5 years can go by so very fast, and then again so very slow? Do you have a 5 year old right now? Think back on 5 years ago when that person wasn't here. Or maybe you were in High School and now you have graduated college and are fiercely trying to make it in the real world. 5 years can be brutal and seem like nothing all at the same time. Or to put it another way, like a lifetime ago and all at the same time like it was yesterday. Time is funny that way. Back to the beginning of 2013, during an intense bible study with the Sistas,  I realized something very profound. A very crucial part to my health and growth as a person, but mostly as a Christ follower was revealed to me as I was reading in the book of  Job. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I read this conversation that took place between God and Job after Job had gone through the most horrific series of events that I believe a person could ever go through.  Seriously, like E-V-E-R!!
Job said to God, "I know that you can do all things, and that no thought or purpose of Yours can be restrained or thwarted. You said to me, Who is this that darkens and obscures counsel by words without knowledge? Therefore, [I now see] I have [rashly] uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."  Job 42:2-3

What I was coming to understand was that Job having everything, and I DO mean everything taken away from him had a day of reckoning. This was that day. Where he said to God, I did not know, or I had not seen, the magnitude of what was going on here. He was talking about the bigger picture here. But, Job was only able to say this to God after God had revealed his heart and HIS very soul to Job. Don't you want to hear from God's soul? If you do want to see, to hear, to know, just a teeny tiny glimpse into the Creator of The Universe's soul Please  Read Job 40 and 41.
The profound conclusion that I came to was I believe one of Gods Sovereignty. There have been, and I'm sure will continue to be, things in this life that I will never ever understand  the WHY behind. It doesn't make sense when, God can do all things,  that he allows for certain things to happen. Now I have read Job 38, 39, 40 and 41 before and I sort of just thought of those chapters as being a spanking from God to Job, but this time, Oh this time beloved I understood them to be so much more. God wasn't spanking Job with these words; "Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know its place."
"Have you explored the springs of the sea? Or have you walked in the recesses of the deep?"
"Can you hunt prey for the lion? Or satisfy the appetite of the young lions." No. 
He was reminding Job of who HE was, is, and always will be. Hebrews 13:8 He was in a sense saying to Job, "I GOT THIS!" "Trust ME, I GOT THIS!"
He was reminding Job of his Sovereignty. Webster's defines Sovereignty as being  Supreme Excellence. There are not many things in this life that are excellent. In fact the only excellent things I can think of all come from God. The smell of a rose. The dimples in a babies hand. The sound of the rain. The waves in the Ocean. The sunrise. The sunset. The Supreme maker of Excellence. EXCELLENCE~ 1. The quality of being outstanding or extremely good. Oh beloved reader if you don't already know this, I mean really KNOW this, let me just say to you now  The One True Living  God of the universe is so very, very, outstandingly, extremely good. Every good and perfect gift comes from HIM and HIM alone. He has plans and purposes ONLY EVER for good. So although my infinite mind cannot wrap my brain around this kind of excellence it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. He never wanted death. He never planned for disease. He HATES divorce. (Just the action not the people) And I'm pretty sure he doesn't like the word foreclosure either.
But, I only know this and can see this now because, At the end of a very long and hard road I am finally seeing some of the bigger picture. And I have only seen the bigger picture in part. I don't fully see it. In fact what little has been revealed is miniscule at best. But, what I can see, what I can make sense of ... well it's good.  Because of these recent revelations, I feel like my trust in God has been restored.

Did you know beloved reader that you can be a Christ-follower AND be mad at God? Well, I'm here to tell you, you can but it doesn't really work out so well. Being mad at God is strange.  It's not like I was shaking my fist toward heaven and living a life of total drunken debauchery, although I have had my fair share of vino these past 5 years. It was more like I had God at arms length because, well when you are mad at someone who you know you shouldn't be mad at that's kinda just what you do.  You put a guard up. You lay a wall down, brick by brick, stone by stone this is what I was doing.  

 All the while I still loved Jesus.

I still sang worship songs. I still prayed.  I still went to church, although that was a challenge more than ever before.
I guess,  I just didn't realize until now what it was exactly that was holding me back and now that I know with a very heavy, repentant heart I have asked God to forgive me.  And you know what he said.
I already did. Moving on from this place seems strange.  A new found Trust in God has been given back to me, and I find myself weeping. Weeping at the years that have gone by when I wasn't fully trusting HIM. Weeping at the time spent being idle in my own fleshly desires. Weeping at the mess I have made. And do you know what He did about all of this. He cleaned it up. He reminded me that I'm only human. I'm Not an angel. I'm Not a demon. I'm Human. God made something very different from either devil or angel when he made us humans. I have human feelings. I have human actions. I have human skin. I have human eyes. I have human ears. I could only see and hear, and feel so much during this time of process and do you know what God says to all of that. 
 I KNOW who YOU are. 
That's so profound to think about. HE knows what it's like to be fully human and fully God. Jesus, the one true lover of my soul, knows me. As I see and recognize only a part that is in Him,  He sees and recognizes all that is in me. He says,  I've walked in your shoes.
Here's the happy ending folks. I'm no longer Mad at God. We are good. Fer realz. We are better than good, we are great, and  do want to know what I say to all of this...
well actually, I'm singing it;  Bless The Lord O My Soul

The Wells in this Life

I have been camping out in a story that is one of my favorites in the bible. It's the story of when Jesus comes to a well in a Samaritan town and asks for a drink from a woman. Right away, Jesus the rebel, is on a roll. Because, here he does two things that in that day and era were not acceptable behavior for a Rabbi. He is not to drink from this well because Jews didn't associate with Samaritan's let alone drink from their wells.
Kinda like on the east coast there are certain neighborhoods still to this day I am told, that if you are Irish walking down the street in an Italian neighborhood, you better watch your back. And you certainly wouldn't want to enter an Irish pub, if you are wearing Italian colors!

Well, and then he wasn't supposed to be speaking to this woman, or A woman for that matter.

If you think Jesus wasn't a rebel, think again.
He most certainly was a rebel in his day. He bucked the system around every corner of his life, and he did it with a passion and a purpose. I don't mean to say he went around aimlessly causing trouble, but he definitely knew where to stir some stinky pots. And this was a pot he thought should be stirred. He knew there were some things that it was good to rebel against.

Back to this story. I have always loved this story because right from the start Jesus exposes his humanity first. He says to the woman, "I am thirsty". He asks her for a favor. He's been walking and he really needs a drink. Often times I think we overlook this about Jesus. He was both God and Man. Fully God. Fully Man. It's a mystery that I will study for the rest of my life. I think this must have put this woman at ease a little. It would have been like a celebrity asking YOU for your autograph. She probably thought it was funny, and I am sure right away she could see this man was different.

I am sure she is also shocked by his request because she knows he's not supposed to be talking to her so she points out the obvious and says, "But you don't have anything to put the water in" There's a song coming on here. Wait for it... wait for it... (There's a whole in your bucket dear Jesus, dear Jesus) sorry I couldn't resist. Or like, you don't have a pen for my autograph, silly!

***Jesus cuts the small talk at this point and then goes on to describe to her that all who drink from that well will be thirsty again, but there is another well with "Living" water that he could give her so that she will never thirst again.

Hmm....

Well you don't have to ask this woman twice to take this "Living" water that he speaks of. She's no dumby. She knows if she gets water that she doesn't ever get thirsty from again, then she will never have to do this chore of going to get water again. And if she never has to do this chore of getting water again, then her life would be made that much easier. And this lady, she could use a little "easy" in her life. Couldn't we all use a little "easy"?

Also, this chore, well it's one that this woman in particular really doesn't like.
She doesn't like the chore of getting water because it means that she has to go somewhere where only women will be. Sometimes women... well they can be catty. And she has had her fair share of catty women. It's like baby showers, with only women. Bridal showers with only women. Hair Salons, only women. Most PTA meetings, only women. You get the idea. If you are women who other women admire, these events, this chore is no big deal. She was not. She preferred to hang out with the men. But, Men didn't do this chore of going and getting water apparently.

Hmmm men who don't do chores? Wait... Don't let me get off topic here.

Ok, so when she ASKS for the "Living" water Jesus immediately wants to know what other well in her life she's been drinking from. So he says to her this,

"Go call your husband and come back here"

Some might think that Jesus was being a tricky trickster with that remark, but I see it as him just wanting... (another song coming on here)... "to get down to the heart of the matter" He wants to know if she will be honest about what other well has been feeding her soul.

She knows the bitter truth about her life.

He knows it to.

Don't we all know the bitter truths about our lives?

We know there are other wells in life that we draw from that are neither healthy, nor truly satisfying in the end. We are left wanting, thirsting for more.

The wells of life come in all shapes and sizes.
They can look like;

Husbands.
Shoes.
Drugs.
Wives.
Clothes.
Alcohol.
Health,Fitness,Our Looks.
Cars.
Money.

You get the idea.


Jesus knows that before we can truly receive "Living" water we have to be honest with him and ourselves about what other wells in our lives we have been looking to.

Because don't we have to admit to the truth before we can receive healing?

We have to say it out loud.


She says;
"I don't have a husband" In fact she's had 7 and the man she lives with now isn't even her husband. What would you say is this woman's well? Approval of Man, Lust,??

After she admits the truth, she tries to distract Jesus.
Psh... like you can distract the Lover of your Soul.
But don't we try?
Sometimes the truth hurts and we want Jesus to look away.

He doesn't.
You know what else he doesn't do?

Jesus doesn't condemn.
He doesn't scorn.
He looks with love.
He says, I am what you are looking for.
Your search is over.
You can stop wandering in the wilderness.
Come and drink and finally be satisfied.

"I am empty but I know your well does not run dry"

John 4

Wet Logs

Something I have never had to deal with in my lifetime is Wet Logs. When I would set up a fire anywhere in Nevada I was always dealing with very dry, crispy, ready to be burned wood. But since we have moved to the PNW and we are living in a home where our primary source of heat is wood, we have had to deal with wet logs. When your heat source is a fire, and you are surrounded with an abundance of free wet wood, you take what you can get and make it work.

Now, you are not supposed if you can help it, burn wet logs, I realize this. Mostly because they just don't burn very well if at all. But also because they let off a lot of smoke(bad for the environment...PNW doesn't like bad for the enviroment) If you were in the wilderness and trying to make a fire with a wet log it would never, ever light. We are not in the wilderness(well it kind of looks like we are) and not only that, we have a blowtorch to help get things started around here. SO don't worry we have plenty of warmth.

Today while making a fire out of some wet logs, I was getting frustrated and impatient. I kept the blow torch on the logs for a good amount of time. I set up the logs just right with some wet and some dry logs. Still after several attempts no fire. Apparently these logs were more than wet, they were saturated.

It got me thinking that this is kind of how my heart can become sometimes. Saturated with worry, fear, bad attitudes, comparisons to others, and countless other things that keep my heart from flame. I keep a fair distance between my heart and God's flames because of fear.

God tries to come in with His blow torch and flames but I am just too dang wet with the world and I miss out on the warmth of His flame. I need others who have been on fire for a while now to help me out.

*** The above blog was written over a year ago on 3/4/10 - It ended there. My need for help. Little did I know a year later so much more of this blog would make sense.


Recently, some friends have really inspired me by their fire like faith, and have set a flame to these wet logs. I had here in my heart saturated logs. They had been heavy with fear, worry, and doubt. They have been watered this past year not with living water, but with compromise, creature comforts, any thing BUT living water.

But then I came across this scripture: 1 Kings 18:33-38

This is a passage in the bible where the prophet Elijah is told to set the stage for God to show up.
He tells people to set up two places where a burnt offering can be made.
One will be to the God Baal and his prophets
and the other to the One True living God.
The one that is set on fire is to be forever known as the Living God, The One True God.
He then proceeds to tell the people on his altar "wet logs" are what he wants.
Not once, twice, but three times he says pour water over these logs.
He does this to prove without a shadow of a doubt that His God, The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob WILL set the logs on fire.
After God set the logs on fire, Elijah said get ready because there will be rain in this dry dessert place.
Again another thing God told Elijah that even though there had a been a drought there was going to be a great rain.

I read this and thought this is what you were up to God.
These metaphorical "wet logs" in my heart have now been set a flame once again.
I have caught the vision of what you are doing and want to continue to do in my life.
No one else gets the glory for that but you.
There is no better blow torch than you.

"So let the rain fall on me, on me, on me.
Let it wash away all my insecurities.
Let the rain fall on me, on me, on me.
Let it wash away all my impurities.

I'm taking it all in
The sounds of beginning again.
It's starting to touch my soul.
It's starting to feel like home.

So let the rain fall on me, on me, on me.
Let it wash away all my insecurities.
Let the rain fall on me, on me, on me.
Let it wash away all my impurities."

Life is in the Details

There are two camps in life, those that are detail-oriented, and those who are not.
Can something really be that black and white?
Really only two camps?
Okay, maybe three, but for the sake of my little post here just indulge me on this.
I used to be of the camp that didn't care too much about most details.
I used to also think that being an overly detailed person meant that you were kinda anal, and that this was not a good thing to be.
I no longer think this way.

Life is in the details.
Not just some details but every detail is important.
Like when given a menu with so many choices on it, I used to quickly read it over instead of reading the description or details of every menu item. It would overwhelm me sometimes to see all those choices and descriptions.
I thought it took too much time to read them all, and in the end I usually just went with what I knew I would like, rather than take the time to find out if I might like something new.
This in turn has made me become a very boring person where food and appetite are concerned.

Recently, I have had the very scary experience of realizing that God is in the details.
I say scary because it is a very a frightening awareness to realize that the God of the universe is very much aware of every detail of YOUR little life.
It is scary, not like in a horror movie scary, but like a fear that causes you to realize just how little you know of the universe that surrounds you.
Fear like that of an awe-awakening experience that makes you want to know more.
Awe-inspiring, fear, captivating, yet scary at the same time.

It's not like I didn't know this before.
It just makes me want to be more like this now.
I want to be concerned about the details.
I want to take the time to figure out what little details I can change in my life.
Especially if it will help make someone else's life better, or even just my own.

God is so detailed about every aspect of our lives.
He cares about the smallest details and of course the big ones as well.

Being detail-oriented means you have taken a little extra time to really care about something.
So whether you are of the "naturally detail-oriented camp", or the "not so much details" camp
I would just like to say that details are important.
Details matter, some more than others of course.
And...

Life really is, lived out in the Details.

2nd Stop on the Max Marathon

Just Like Jesus, is the second book I read through on my Max Marathon. It was jammed packed with good reminders about what it looks like to be Just Like Jesus( go figure).

I have to say, as I read each chapter I was again reminded of how much I am NOT Just Like Jesus.! Truly by the end of this book I felt like having a lil pitty party because of how far from the reminders in this book I really am.
The past month has been one challenge after another. Maybe that is why I have felt so much like a schmuck because all my schmuckiness has been brought to the surface by these events. I could go into great lengths to tell you all the gorey details but despite the fact that I have been brought to a place of total exhaustion with these trials I am not giving up. I can't give up. I want to see the end of this movie that is my life and I want it to be a happy ending.


So, just about the time I was going to self this one again for it's ability to make me feel like a total schmuck I came to the end. The final chapter is called, Finishing Strong An Enduring Heart.
Max has such a great way of explaining the human plight. He opens the final chapter talking about unfinished projects and how we all fall prey to them from time to time. We set out to do something with the best intentions and somewhere along the way we lose the motivation to stick with it.
Just when I thought I was in for the final blow to my character, being that I just walked away from one of the biggest financial responsibilities in my adult life, he says it's probably good that we don't finish everything we set out to do. Wait, what? Yep, he says, " My desire is to encourage you to finish the right thing. Certain races are optional - like washboard abs and speed reading. Other races are essential- like the race of faith."



He then goes on to say, "How can our hearts have the endurance Jesus had? By focusing where Jesus focused: the joy set before him." Heb 12:2

This made me think of joy and what really brings me joy. What is the joy set before me? I have been thinking a lot about joy lately because it seems I have had many, many things that have tried to rob me of my joy but I am not going down that easy.
I thought instantly of my family. My husband. My children. My friends. But even more than all of them Jesus brings me joy. Knowing him not for what he gives or what he has done but just for him. Who HE is right now to me, is pure joy . Then I thought if I could have all the time in the world with all of them it would be so nice. Then it brought me back around to the joy that was set before Jesus. What got him through all the times when he sat across from Judas knowing full well what he was going to do? What got him through the time when he was spit on and beaten and he could have said one word to stop it all but he didn't?


In all my trials I am reminded I have not been tried as much as Jesus was, not even close. What got him through all of those trials? I think He knew there would be a day when he would have all the time(eternity to be exact) with the ones he loved and he wanted everyone to make it to that place. It reminded me of what is ahead of me as well as what is really important right now. Jesus had more than just the hope of what was ahead, he KNEW what was ahead having been there already and he not only wanted to get back there but to have everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE there with him to enjoy it even more!! It is a good reason not to give up, don't ya think?

First Stop on the Max Marathon

Next Door Savior

I think this book stood out to me to read first in the Max Marathon because I don't know who lives next door anymore. It's a daunting realization that I had recently knowing that, "Toto we are not in Kansas anymore" or "Bella we are not in Sparks anymore". I chose the top picture to go with this blog because somewhere in the last few weeks it hit me, I live in a BIG city now. Not just a little city but a very BIG city with many people, places, and new things to behold and somewhere in reading this book I took great comfort in knowing that one thing in this BIG move that I made did not change, Christ came with me.

First, I have to admit that although my intentions were to go through three Max Lucado books over winter break I only made it through one. The reason for this is not so much that I didn't have plenty of time to read, I did. It has more to do with the fact that this book, Next Door Savior had many important reminders and I wanted to dig a little deeper into instead of skimming through the pages just to get to the other side. I also didn't realize the first time I read this book that in the back there is a study guide to help with said,"digging deeper" which I utilized fully this time.


I will start by saying that this quote sums it all up, " Nothing compares to " the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" Phil 3:8 The reward of Christianity is Christ. Fellowship with him. Walking with him. Pondering him. Exploring him. The heart-stopping realization that in him you are part of something ancient, endless, unstoppable, and unfathomable. And that he, who can dig the Grand Canyon with his pinkie, thinks you're worth his death on Roman timber. Christ is the reward of Christianity."
For me that above quote is what this book is all about. The fact that many things in this life can distract us of simple truths. Many things even in Christianity can distract you from Christ and this book reminded me, (as well as many, many nature walks while singing in the woods to my Creator) that I have been given my reward in this life. It's not who I am married to, or how many children I have(although I do consider those to be very BIG BONUSES) It's not success at my job or material possessions. It's not what kind of car I drive (let me tell you I have seen some spendy cars here in Redmond) or where I drive that car to every day. It's not how many people I know or accomplishing any earthly dream (of which I have many) but it is to know Christ and to be known by Him.




I think the older I am getting I am realizing this more and more that I will never fully know and understand him, but He knows and fully understands me and I take great comfort in that. He is the one person I don't have to explain myself to. I don't even make sense to myself sometimes but to Him that doesn't matter. There is a portion of this book that talks about Joni Eareckson Tada wedding day experience. For those of you who don't know who Joni is she is a girl who became paralyzed from a diving accident at the age of 17 but she didn't let her handicaps, handicap her. The portion Max shares about her life though, found in chapter 6, is on her wedding day. It tells of how she felt like the less than picture perfect bride all up until she saw the smile on her grooms face and forgot that she was going down the aisle in a wheelchair. This is truly such a good picture of what it is like to be known by Christ. You look to other faces and see disappointment, jealousy, doubt, but when you look to his face you see nothing but love baby! You listen to other voices telling you to do more, be more, have more, but you listen to his voice and you hear You are enough! Nothing but love baby!! " You can't just say I love you, You have to live I love you," sang Ben Harper. Indeed Jesus lived and died I love you.



There is a freedom that words cannot express when you realize the Savior you are looking for is not so far off , not so hard to get to know, not so hard to receive love from, and not so easily offended. "There is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ " this is in fact my reward. I give my life again to honor Him, My Savior King.

Just some random thoughts

When I went grocery shopping last night I had a pretty big revelation about God. It's one of those ones that you can't really explain and I am hoping I am not the only one who knows what I am talking about. Something like, trying to explain what love is or how it feels , you can make attempts at it but it really never suffices. It was good to hear something from Him. Sometimes He can be really quiet.

Then I went for a 4 mile walk around the marina very late and realized some more profound thoughts. I love having friends that I can openly talk with, about everything. Sometimes for whatever reason I have felt like I have had a muzzle on my mouth and with the closest friends this shouldn't be. You should always be able to talk openly with close friends. Don't you agree?

Today is my sister Gina and Izzy's third wedding anniversary, and every time I hear the song, Whoa Amber is the Color of your Energy(this is not the songs title just some words from it).... I think of them. In fact last time that song came on Solomon said, "Hey, that song is from Gina and Izzy's wedding, I wish we could go back to that day." I know what he means, some days are just locked in the treasure chest of time as so beautiful and that is one of them. Congratulations you guys, you are a beautiful family.

The summer is half way over and this just makes me terribly sad. I am not one of those moms who can't wait for their kids to go back to school. I LOVE having my kiddos home. I love that we can all sleep in and basically do whatever we want everyday of the summer. I think this is why teaching will be the ideal job for me because I can continue to have my summers off with my children and enjoy every second.

Speaking of teaching - I am actually beginning to get excited about going back to teaching again. I love teaching little people that is. I don't do as well with the bigger people, or at least I don't consider myself a teacher of bigger people because I am always learning from them instead of the other way around.

Well, that is all the random thoughts for today folks. Enjoy. Leave some love.

Truth

The quote of the day for me, "Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. With all the tragedies and traumas of this world, wonder what it is that holds us together."
If I told you where this quote came from you would discredit it's truth. So I am not going to tell you where I heard this. It is true. It is something that I wonder. Not for myself but for others. I don't like having to say goodbye prematurely or at all for that matter. It makes me angry, confused, sad, deeply depressed, and weak. I know people who won't ever say goodbye because they dislike goodbyes so much. They will say something like, "See you later" instead.
Still grieving some of the recent sad events that have taken place in the lives of my family and friends. Some of these things are still unfolding even as I type this.Still not sure what to think about what happened to me because of all of this. Some things I just can't wrap my brain around. I try and I try to make sense of things that just don't make sense. I don't like things that don't make sense. I don't like the band-aid answers that we tell ourselves to make everything seem better when it's not.
This I do know, I am not a person who feels lightly. I feel deeply. I am sensitive, more sensitive than I would care to admit. My mom used to say that I always wore my emotions on my sleeve. I would like to think that isn't true anymore and that I have become a good faker, but I don't know that that is a good thing. I am up much later than I would be normally, much later than I care to be, because some thoughts and concerns of others have awakened me to pray. I pray, and I pray and then I cry. I cry because I don't know what to pray anymore.
I cry because I don't like some the situations we have to deal with here on planet earth. The moon is full tonight, or early this morning I should say and it is shining on all the shadows with all it's might. It reminds me of the last full moon that I was up for. It was in Italy. I was crying and alone like I am now. I was not however bloggin, oh no not that night. I was looking out the window and wondering about so much. I was extremely overwhelmed by the feeling of the Presence of my Creator. I was completely taken by His presence and grateful that He should even have a second thought about someone like myself.
All I know is...He loves me. He is amazing. I am not worthy. He makes me whole. He is what holds me together.

Jesus you are more than a friend

Your mercy and grace overwhelm me
You bring joy to my soul.
Your love and your grace never fail me.
Your merciful touch always heals me.
You bring joy to my soul.
Joy to my soul.

Love Divine

Love's Divine
Then the rain storm came over me
and I felt my spirit break.
I had lost all of my belief you see
and realized my mistake.
But time threw a prayer to me
and all around me became still.

I need Love, Love's Divine
Please forgive me now I sse that I've been blind.
Give me Love, Love is what I need
to help me know my name.

Through the rain storm came sanctuary
and I felt my spirit fly
I had found all my reality
I realized what it takes.

Don't bend
Don't break
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
Cause Love can help me know my name.

Well, I tried to say there's nothing wrong
But inside I felt me lying all along
But the message here was plain to see
BELIEVE ME.

From the artist Seal

So listening to this song from Seal I realized that it is a song I could sing to Jesus. I really love to change my favorite secular songs to be able to sing them to Jesus. He is my Love Divine. He helps me know who I really am(know my name) , He shows me how to live and He HAS promised me that He won't forsake.
1 John 4:16-19
If you want to listen it is the song on my myspace account http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=44451930

I love my life teacher

Jesus requires that we take of Him and let Him teach us. He asks that we let Him be our teacher. There are alot of people in life who want to take that role as teacher in our lives but Jesus asks for it and not because He's coming from a place of pride like, I know it all(even though He does) but because He says "I'm a humble and gentle teacher" He asks to be our teacher not for His own benefit like these mega-millionares who have all the answers for your life's problems but it comes in the form of a book they wrote, or a pill they perscribe, or just yet another counseling session. NO, He asks to be our teacher for our own benefit that we might "find rest for our souls"
He says that if you LET Him be your life teacher that you "WILL find rest"
I know that in my own life lessons when Jesus became my teacher, He has always come to me in gentleness and humility. None of that , "I told you so" or "See, why didn't you just listen to me" but rather " I think this might help Noel" or "How can I help you Noel to have this really turn out for the best" He always reminds me " I am here, to walk with you through this hurt, pain, loss, or confusion , You are not alone, I have felt that too"
I love my Life Teacher so much. My Jesus knows just how to teach me the things that I need to learn so that my life can be better, fuller, richer with hope, peace, and true joy. I love the way He teaches me. His yoke fits perfectly to me. It is custom-designed to fit !! His burdens are oh so light because they are my own given back to Him and turned into blessings.
Matthew 11:28-30 " Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you . Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle and you will find rest for your souls" For my yoke fits perfectly and the burden I give you is light."

Jesus Prayer For Me

" Sanctify them by the truth; your word is the truth" John 17:17
(sanctify to set apart for a sacred use or make holy)
" In the begining was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" John 1:1
When I first read this scripture I was thinking about God's word being the bible but then reading it again I am thinking of how Jesus is the word.
I think both would apply because the word of God does a work of sanctification in my life on a daily basis. When my heart and attitude are not holy all I need to do is look to the word the bible for an adjustment.
I am so thankful for Jesus being the living translation of the Father's heart for His children.
The scripture in John 17:17 was actually Jesus prayer for me. How amazing is that. I love to read his prayers for me. They are so powerful.
Thank you Jesus for praying for me.

Reasons why I love Jesus #2 , His Extravagant Love

His love is extravagant. It is more than any words could ever describe and to even try to describe in words the way that Jesus loves is almost futile,weak at best. There truly are no words that do it justice but one that comes a lil close to me and also a word that seems to keep being highlighted in life right now is extravagant.
Websters describes extravagant like this-
Exceeding reasonable bounds
Extremely abundant
Straying beyond limits or bounds
These descriptions begin to describe another reason why I love Jesus. That He FIRST loved me, while I was not nearly as in love with Him as I am now is extravagant. That He never stops loving me even when my actions don't show my love for Him is extravagant. That in every detail of this life, behind every corner He is revealing His love to me is extravagant.
The song from Darrell Evans "Your love is extravagant"is one that has become a new favorite.
"Your love is extravagant
Your friendship intamate
I find myself moving to the rhythms of your grace
Your love is extravagant"
I love Jesus because of the way He loves me. I want to love the way He loves. I want to love the unlovely, the ones who don't love me, the ones who don't love me first, the ones who may never love me or YOU Jesus . I want to love them the way you do and by doing so I want to show my love. My love for you Jesus can never compare but all the days of my life I want to spend every ounce of who I am, who you created me to be, to love you and others in only the ways that I can.
Thank you Jesus for your extravagant love.

Reasons why I LOVE JESUS

#1 He understands me even when I don't understand myself.

Reading in My Utmost for His Highest today it described the act of Marywho poured fragrant perfume all over Jesus feet as "an extravagant act of devotion"
Mark 14:3-4
This got me thinkin if I have ever shown Jesus in an extravagant way my devotion to him. I really couldn't think of any.
I struggle with issues of Lordship in even the simplest things let alone extravagantly loving Him. This brought me to the number one reason I love Jesus, because He understands. He knows all things even when I don't, when I can't, or even when I choose that I won't ,He is still understanding of me. It comforts me to know that I don't have to understand myself or others or even Him, just continually look to the author and finisher of my faith and then I can breathe easier. He's ok with the fact that I don't often understand the way that He works or how things play out in my life . He is ok with my honesty and He knows me better than I know myself.
I am constantly frustrated by the parallel between the apostle Pauls dilema in his life with Christ and my own,where he states "the things I want to do, I don't,and the things I don't want to do , I do" Romans 7:19 Why is that??
This is so true of my life. When I am truly at my end with me I look to Jesus and
He understands and that is so so so amazing.
His love is amazing(Darrell Evans song) I can't remember all the words but I think this songs describes His love being extravagant, amazing,...
Extravagance in love for Jesus. How does that work? Can I love Him extravagantly like He loves me? Am I capable of this love?
I am glad that He understands . I want to love Him this way. Holy Spirit help me love Jesus the way He deserves to be loved.