New Years Word 2019

At the beginning of every year I pray for a word that will bring me back to a theme if you will, for all of the new, fresh days ahead. 
This will be the 8th year of "New Year Words"  for me, and it's hard to believe that over these past years of words that center me all year, how truly prophetic they have become. 
In years past, the word usually has been something brewing in my heart for some time, and some years the word comes out of no where. This year the words I kept thinking about started with RE- Re-new Re-store Re-awaken Re-pent Re-pair Re-vive Re-generate And finally I came upon the word that encompasses them all 
REJUVENATE
When I looked up the definition of this word which is the first thing I do when I'm given my new years word, it had this phrase;
"To BREATHE new life into"
Last year my word was BREATHE and true to form this word served me oh so well.
There were so many moments in 2018 that like a mantra I would tell myself to just "breathe" when life tried to take my breathe away. I'm sad to see this word go because like I've said before these words become like a friend to me over the course of 365 days. Still, it is time to move forward and take what I can from the moments that my breathe and the Holy Spirit that is breathe, centered me last year.
As  I walk into 2019 knowing that there are some things in my life that I need to "Breathe new life into" I think about what needs to be rejuvenated in my heart so it doesn't begin to harden.
My grandmother used to say,  "If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart." Of course to truly repeat these words as she would say them so often, it must be said with an east coast accent with emphasis on HEART.
One of the main areas of my heart that I want some rejuvenation to appear is that of my walk with God. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as I look to him to rejuvenate my dreams, my hopes, my health, and so many other areas of my life he will be faithful.   For far too long I have walked in worry and anxiety when peace and serenity are what he offers me. I've walked in doubt and fear when faith and hope are what he freely gives.
I've walked this path of faith and salvation for many years now, but there are times in this faith walk when my step has been either a tad bit behind or ahead of him.  My hearts cry today is that I will once again hold his hand in faith and trust what he has for me.  That the areas of my heart and my life will be once again rejuvenated by his presence and love.  I desperately want a steadfast spirit in the days ahead.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit."    Psalm 51:10-12
Today, I'm sitting here on this Sunny Sunday morning here in Reno Nevada and my heart is filled with so much joy. Because although, I'm not always in step with him in an instant that all can change.  There is joy once again. Joy that doesn't pass away with the cruel, harsh winds of life. Joy that is the underlying current of my heart. Joy that isn't affected by how much is in my bank account or my closet. Joy that doesn't leave me even though two of my four are no longer under my roof.  Joy from knowing my source of rejuvenation will never leave me or forsake me.   Joy in my salvation.
I want my heart to stay full of love and all the fruits that come by way of hanging out with the lover of my soul.   "Surprise us with love at daybreak;  then we'll skip and dance all the day long...  Let you servants see what you're best at- the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,  confirming the work that we do.  Oh, YES. Affirm the work that we do!" Psalm 90:14-17
So cheers to this new year and this new word.  Let there be rejuvenation of all the areas in life that would otherwise lie dormant and become stale. Here's to new beginnings and getting in step with my creator once again.

New Years Word 2018

Well, beloved reader we are already 4 days into this New Year 2018, and I gotta say I have never looked forward to a New Year as much as I have looked and longed for 2018. I've always thought it was strange in some ways to think of a New Year as a kind of a light at the end of the tunnel, but that is what it truly feels like to me in this new year.  I'm still kind of reeling from 2017 and my head feels foggy when I try to recount all of the reasons I hold 2017 with such disdain, but it's over... Thank God it's over! I don't want it to sound like there weren't really good things that happened in 2017 as well, but  overall it was a rough one for me personally is all I can say about that.   There were so many disappointments, and changes. Change, I have come to know as the one constant in life, and I'm no longer terrified of change. Still, there were some changes last year, that I could have done without.  There were deaths of beloved friends and even family members who had to say goodbye too soon.  Death and Loss are the changes that no one sees coming around the bend, but all the same the train keeps moving on, and you either get on board or you check out and try to get off. I chose to stay on board with moments of check out,  and if that doesn't make sense to you then I'm not sure we are speaking the same language.   I chose the word Purposeful for my New Years word last year, and boy howdy did I ever put that word to use.  Last years word is wrung out and hung up to dry !! Not only did I realize more than ever before, that my purpose here doesn't change with the job or title that I'm given, but I had to be careful, and aware of every move I made, because I felt as though if I wasn't it all would fall apart.  I know that the weight of the whole world doesn't fall on my shoulders(thank you Jesus) but the weight of my little small world here sometimes does feel this way.  Every choice, every word spoken, every action or reaction, every social engagement, every trip, every blog, every post on social media, felt like it had a purpose. I realized more than ever I have a voice here, and whether I use it for good or for not so good, people are listening.  That word "Purposeful" came so quick to me last year, and was beyond a doubt a divine word for my life as a whole in 2017, so it isn't any wonder that this year... 4 days in I was hanging onto 2017's word and still left wondering what my word for this year should be.   I suppose to some of you it might seem silly to become attached to a single word for a whole year, but for those of you that this makes sense to, it's like the word becomes an old friend. I prayerfully ask for a word that will become a life reminder for what lies ahead. This word becomes the rhythm for my life ahead, kind of like those piano timers... what are those called anyways? I asked the Googles ... it's called a Metronome.  

I woke up this morning and looked over at my wall that holds all my favorite notes, paintings, and pictures and there it was, My Metronome... My word for 2018 ... BREATHE
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe to think, to enjoy, to love. " ~Marcus Aurelius

It was literally there on the wall on a plaque that my daughter Chloe gave to me many years ago. It's a simple word, and one that we don't need to be reminded to do every couple of seconds, but to Breathe deep ... well that's a different story. "When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace. Try to learn to BREATHE deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep.  Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."  ~Ernest Hemingway Before this morning I was thinking about how grateful I am to be alive and breathing and how I need to be kinder to myself, and take better care of my body... which is not an uncommon thought for this time of year. I thought about how long it has been since I've had a daily practice of yoga and quiet times of centering my soul.... and then I looked over and saw that word. In the practice of Yoga your breathe is a huge component of the practice. To be so aware of your body, and how it should be stretched, and where it needs help, you have to start with your breathing. It's as though you are thanking the life force that is breathe with every inhale and exhale.  I think about how Spirit is Breathe.  The Holy Spirit that lives and breathes and has his/her being in me... helping me thru every day. I'm currently reading an old book that was a HUGE spiritual tool in my tool box of walking out life with spiritual eyes. It's been just about 30 years ago that I first read this book so it's kind of a trip to read it now after all these years and I don't really want to say much about it here on this blog, but I bring it up here because The Holy Spirit is breathe.  The title of the book;  Good Morning Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. 

  "I could feel reverence humming in me" ~Jane Fonda (on becoming a Christian) Often times I will wake in the morning and see that word Breathe hanging on my wall, and before my feet even hit the ground I will give thanks for this breathe inside my lungs.  Another brand new day to start all over again.  So here it is a new fresh year,  with promise and I'm giving thanks for 2018, and I will remind myself with this word to breathe deep, and give thanks for all that has gone before me and all the lies ahead, and center my soul for the moment that I am in.  It's all just rivers and roads til I reach you. 

My New Years Word for 2017

(above picture taken circa 10 years ago)

The day after Christmas this year, my word for 2017 came like a gentle nudge from an old friend.

PURPOSEFUL
I'm not talking about finding my life's purpose because I have known for many years what that is. It's not wrapped up in a career or even a role I fulfill like wife, mother, sister, friend.  That's not to say that those don't give me purpose or reason to get up and get moving, but they are not my sole purpose on this planet.  I know my gifts, my strengths and weaknesses.  I know who my creator is so I have that source of constant fulfillment and purpose like a river running through my veins on the daily.  Knowing the Lover of my Soul and pursuing Him in all things = My one small life's purpose. "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."
I feel content in those areas. I think the word that has come my way for 2017 came about because the older I'm getting the more I'm realizing that unless I prioritize something or someone then those gifts I want to give don't get given.  (Say that 5 times fast)  I think it might have something to do with how fast time seems to keep going. The older I get the faster the arms on that life clock get spinning.  Faster and faster, And so it goes. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way about Father Time. You want to catch up to him and YELL, Slow the Hell Down!! But he is like the Gingerbread man just taunting you to try and catch him if you can. We all know we can't catch Father time and make him slow down or even stop so you can catch your breath, but I have moments where I sit straight up and think I am going to carpe the hell out of this diem! I think it was a moment like that where this word for 2017 was birthed from. As I was sitting in my bed the day after Christmas, I was thinking about the amazing weekend of fun with my Fab 4 kids and My Giant who spoiled me beyond belief this year. I thought about the time I spent with my mom and dad and brothers and sisters.  I thought about how grateful I am for this one small life.  I thought about all the people I wanted to thank for my amazing 42nd Birthday that had just happened the week before. I remembered how once upon a time I used to be so organized and good at writing thank you cards for moments just like this.  So I sat up with coffee in hand and started writing them all thank you cards. In that moment I realized I want to be more purposeful with my days ahead. I want to make lists and check them twice.  I want to stop procrastinating. I want to show up with this one small life.  I want to give away what I've been given and be purposeful in doing so. I realize that as I head into 2017 I won't completely be able to accomplish all of these wants, intentions, and desires because time limits us to only 24 hours.  I will try with every ounce of my being though to continue to give away what God has given me.  I will wake up each day and pray this prayer; "Use me God. Show me how to take who I am, Who I want to be,  And what I can do,  and use it for a PURPOSE greater than myself." 

This above photograph is one of my all time favorites of Poppa Tom with his buddy Isaiah, many moons ago. When I see this picture I'm reminded that as I head into a new year, with new ideas, and new priorities I don't walk alone.  I'm grateful for moments just like this one so long ago that so fully captures what it looks like to walk out life with our buddies by our sides and hearts full of adventure, and purpose.  Wish me God speed beloved reader and I wish you the Happiest and Most Purposeful of New Years!  

Embrace

I've been thinking a lot about a single word.

What word you ask?

Well now, don't rush me we will get there.

For the past 4 years I have picked a New Years Word.
Rather than focusing on goals and things of that nature, (which are all well and good I"m just not of that cloth anymore) for some time now I have prayed for God to give me a single word that would serve as a reminder all year through of something HE would want to do in my life.

I love words so this New Year's tradition kinda stuck with me like white on rice, like peanut butter and jelly, like coffee and some cream.

Ok moving on....

Last year my word was Peace and little did I know how much I was really going to need  some hard core, big time, heaping spoonfuls of Peace in my life last year.
The reminder of that word may have prompted quite a few prayers that I otherwise wouldn't have thought to cry out for.
Some of those prayers might have sounded like this....
Hey God, what the HELL is going on ?
HELP!!!
I need me some PEACE up in here!!

There were moments last year that I thought it literally felt at times like the least peaceful year of my life.
With a house full of young teenagers who are full of their own ideas and have a healthy amount of independence encroaching everyday more and more, I'm sure you can imagine what I might be talking about.
Sometimes my house literally became somewhat of a battle zone last year as I was learning to let go.
In the midst of it, and now looking back God knew that I would need his PEACE to be with me last year as I learned how to parent in a whole new way.
There were other things as well that tried to rob me of  the peace that surpasses all understanding, but God was faithful and his peace never left.
He did a great work with all the crap that went down last year there were some things that came out of the crappy fires of life that now I see as his hand alone never leaving me, never forsaking what he promised.

As I began to pray about what word could serve as a reminder to me this year I was a little hesitant because choosing PEACE last year and then having almost the opposite happen all around me was a little intimidating.

But a few weeks back I read this scripture:

"So here's what I want you to do, God Helping you:

Take your everyday, ordinary life- your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life- and place it before God as an offering. 

EMBRACING what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.

Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to it's level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you"

That is in the Message Version of the Bible, another version of this scripture from the Amplified Version reads like this:

"I appeal to you therefore, brethren and (sisterthen), and beg of you in view of all the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies (presenting all your members and faculties) as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
Do not be conformed to this world(this age) [fashioned after and adapted to it's external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the entire renewal of your mind [by it's new ideals and its new attitude] so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in HIS sight for you]. 

Romans 12: 1-2


As I was letting the first version marinate in my bones I became SO inspired. 

I thought about how everything that I do with this earthly vessel I am given is something that matters to God.
Sleeping, eating, going to work,  grocery shopping,  doing mountains of laundry, and just plain ole walking around.... It ALL matters to the Lover of My Soul.

 I was reminded once again that every detail of this little life matters.

Sometimes, I forget that very important detail to this re-born life.
I forget that every cry in my heart, every passion I've been given, every friendship, every word I speak or that is spoken to me it all matters. 
The enemy of our souls would like us to believe that is the furthest thing from the truth, but Oh beloved reader don't believe that because it is a total, and utter LIE from the pit of H E double Hockey Sticks!

I decided in that moment to EMBRACE that love.

His LOVE.

Simply LOVE.

In that moment I was overcome with a flood from that kind of attention.
That the God of the Universe would care about little ole' me still trips me out.
I'm blown away by His faithfulness, His unending pursuit to simply LOVE me.


The love of Jesus is beyond what I can even express in words and it penetrates through every lie spoken, or perceived about myself.


"YOUR LOVE IS LIFTING ME ABOVE ALL THE LIES"

So that my beloved reader is my New Year's word 
EMBRACE.
This year I'm choosing to Embrace fully the LOVE of my Savior and not allow this world to come and rob, kill or destroy the work that the Lover of my Soul has been doing and will continue to do with this stinky flesh until the day I die.

I'm going to embrace the love of my Savior around every corner this year. 

I want to remember that when my daughter graduates, I can embrace that moment full of his love and securely know that she will be in his hands as she has been since the day she was born.

I will embrace his love, and trust HIM  the moment my other daughter turns 16 and drives a car for the first time.

I am determined to fully embrace his love and rest in it the day my oldest son starts High School this year. 

And I won't be listening to the lies that would cause this heart to have fear about my future because his love that I will be embracing will lift me higher than fear.

I'm gonna EMBRACE it all!!
This crazy roller coaster called life.
Embracing all that God has for me this year is what I want to do.

New Year, New Word

You know the moment when you are barely awake in the morning, snuggled in your bed with your favorite pillow and blankets tucked around you just right. The moment when you realize you are awake but your mind drifts back to slumber and the air is cold because it's the middle of winter and you know that the warmth that is blanketed around you will quickly leave the moment you step your first foot on the floor?  That is the best description I can think of to try and explain how God's presence blankets his children with PEACE. It is a peace that surpasses understanding because even though the world around you is cold and barren, chaotic and often even devoid of life, you are blanketed in this warm feeling that everything is going to be alright and you don't know how to truly explain that you know this except to say, that God has given you  PEACE.
"Peace I leave with you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do NOT let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled." John 14:27
This peace that Jesus has left those of us that follow in his footsteps can blanket us everyday.  Even in our darkest moments his peace doesn't leave our sides. He walks with us to those dark places and shines the light in every corner and every crevice. He reminds us that when we open our eyes and we do step out of bed into the cold, dark world HE will be there to help us. 
When I began praying about what word I wanted to choose to remind me of something all year, the word Peace just kept coming to mind. I kept thinking of people that I know and have known in my life that have exuded peace. I thought of a counselor who My Giant and I recently went to for a lil marriage tune up and how one thing that Moses said he noticed right away was how peaceful this man is.  It made me long for that to be a description someone might use about me. And then I had a conversation with my sister Jen and we were talking about how we both really want new habits in our lives. And I was reminded of something a friend of hers once said that never really left me, 
"When did Jesus stop being enough?"
It left me a little weepy as I realized all the idols I have allowed in this temple, and I longed for Jesus to be that peace once again. I longed for my peace to come from the source of peace and balance, and goodness.  I wanted desperately to take back all the years, all the moments, that I had given someone or something else that very special place that should have only been reserved for him and him alone. 
As I have gotten older and the world around me has too, I need the peace that Jesus gives now more than ever.  I have always been a bit of worry wart and the only medicine for my overly anxious heart has only ever been Jesus, but sometimes I look to people, or my circumstances or a glass of wine to be that blanket of peace and without fail I'm left wanting.
"Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And GOD's PEACE shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of it's salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with it's earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that PEACE that transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7
This year marks 20 years of marriage. 17 years of being a parent. 40 years of being alive. The year my brother Greg will get married. 10 years of marriage for my sister Gina.  70 years for one of my life's greatest examples of peace, my Mom.
And those are just the moments I know will happen.  For all the unknown moments are what can weigh my heart down with anxiety, and worry. I need that blanket of PEACE that God gives, and I want to look to him before anyone or anything else. I want to walk out knowing fully that Jesus is enough! The only way I know how I can do this is to spend time with the Lover of My Soul and he reminds me that he really does have the whole world in his hands.  I can leave it all at his feet and he will carry my burdens.  When I'm in that blanket of peace I think of a saying my beloved Gram(the most peaceful person I've ever met) used to say;
"All this and Heaven too!!"

What a truly beautiful life!
Here's to a  NEW PEACEFUL HAPPY  YEAR!!

More On My New Years Word, Yoga, and A Book Review

They say that to be really good at Yoga it's all about balance and flexibility. Maybe that's why I have always loved this practice. From the very first time I experienced a Yoga class I was hooked, because I had finally found an exercise I could be good at.  You see, I've always had really good physical balance. I remember being a young girl in gymnastics class walking across the balance beam just for fun and challenging myself to different balance exercises.

But balance in life is a completely different beast than that of balance in the physical world.  In Yoga they are trying to get at the whole person when they speak of balance.
It's not just standing on one foot like a flamingo that is impressive in Yoga. Come to think of it, nothing is impressive in yoga because it's not about impressing, but rather being able to be so completely focused on what you are doing that you can close your eyes and your inner world is in balance as well.
I suppose one of the reasons I have chosen the word Balance for my New Years word is because the older I'm getting the more I'm realizing how vital it is to have balance in ALL things. So much of life, and it's hidden treasures comes from when I keep things in Balance and have flexibility. 
The world around us is in a constant state of motion and chaos, and it's so very easy to get off balance. Just when I think I have one area of life all neatly wrapped up and manageable, there comes another area of life to smack me in the face as a wake up call. Those smacks are painful, and I don't always handle them well.  Remember when I heard we were moving back to Nevada? SMACK!! And, I'm sorry to say my reaction (at first) was not all that balanced. Those are the kind of moments in life that I want look back on and know that I handled them well, or at least better than I have in the past. 

One of my new favorite quotes that I  recently read in the book, Room by Emma Donahue is  "The world is suddener than we fancy it."  The quote is originally from Louis MacNiece, but Dr. Clay in the book says it in response to something the main character, 5 year old Jack, says to him.
The book Room is about a 5 year old boy named Jack, who was born inside a tiny room that his mother had been kidnapped to as a 19 year old girl. That quote is taken from a blurb in the book where Jack, the little boy is trying to explain why he doesn't like the outside world as opposed to the Room he was born into. Imagine, if all you ever knew as your existence was a teeny, tiny room that nothing ever changed in? I mean, a spider was the highlight of this little boys day!
It is the perfect quote to say to Jack, who is having a hard time getting used to how fast the world around him just keeps coming at him.  By the way, this book Room is without a doubt a fascinating read. It's not one I would have chosen myself because the topic is very dark, but it was a book club choice.  I'm telling you, you won't be able to put it down. 
Back to the quote in the book,
When I read it I thought about what a true statement that is because in life things are always changing and most of the time we receive no warning.  To stay in perfect balance when all the rest of the world is in chaos is truly a gift. For me THE only time this ever happens (perfect balance) is when I practice keeping my eyes on my Creator.   "You will keep in perfect peace, those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."  Isaiah 26:3
To me, this is the epitome of balance.
A steadfast mind and a heart that is in a constant state of perfect peace despite the chaotic world around you. It really doesn't get anymore balanced than that.  It begins by trusting someone greater than yourself. Knowing full well that although I don't have all the answers to life's unrelenting questions, I can trust fully that someone does.  Like a new born baby trusts that his parent will nurture, care, and protect them. I have seen a baby fall asleep at some of the most chaotic, noise filled, concert-like events.  And yet, the baby sleeps. Trusting that all the crazies running around them won't bother them a bit because they trust whoever is holding them.  It makes me happy to think about things like this. It calms my soul to know I am being held like that infant child.  
                "Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."
 

My New Year's Word

I know I'm a little late to the New Year's word/resolutions posts but I was having technical difficulties last week and then commitment issues the week before. Let me explain.

I'm not exactly sure when or why it happened that I decided I was no longer going to be of the cloth that makes resolutions, but I'm pretty sure it has been fairly recent. 
Looking back on my old posts that were of previous resolutions is  motivation enough for me to never make another resolution again. Seriously people! It's just embarrassing if not down right sad how many of them and ONE in particular I never can make happen(ahem... you know that whole health and fitness one?) That one right there just makes me wanna cuss. Cuss.  Cuss. Kirmudgeafudge!!
I feel better now.
Ok moving on.   With so many of them I had good intentions but in the end it just didn't happen. Well, so because of this, and in honor of one of my favorite sayings,
"Keep it simple stupid"    I decided I would like to pick a word, just ONE word, to remind me all year of what I would like to accomplish in a years time. Last year I picked one, but I didn't exactly label it my New Years word.  However, that is exactly what it became.  
Last year my word was DETERMINATION. I blogged about it and if you want you can read it here. But, if you don't want or you don't have time for that I will just paraphrase here why it is I chose that word last year.
There were quite a few things that I was determined or needed to be determined about last year and so that word brought me right back around to those things every time I thought of it. I would ask myself, am I being determined with my energy, money, time?  Am I speaking, praying, waiting, listening with determination?
This picking a word for the new year really worked well for me last year, because I didn't feel like a big fat failure when I wasn't determined I just remembered why it was that I picked that word in the first place, and it motivated me to move on out of the funk that I found myself in and be determined. 
I will admit it's hard to pick just one word that will make you take inventory of your life all year long. But, thankfully I'm not alone in this process called life or in the process of picking a New Years word. This year it has taken me a while to land on the right word because although I had the impression of the word just a few days into this new year, I couldn't quite commit.
Who knew I would have commitment issues ?   This year my word is FREEDOM!
There are so many areas I already feel so much freedom in, which is why I was like, "Are you sure that is the right word for you?" I was like the doubter kid on Polar Express. Second guessing my word until I heard...  "You're a Doubter!!" "Doubter!"
In the end I realized I may be free in a lot of areas, but still so many more corners of my heart need healing and freedom. I feel this is going to be a year of internal freedom for me.  God has already begun this process with healing me in some areas that I will share later this week, but I'm excited about my word.
Because  Who doesn't need healing or freedom? I KNOW I do.  Here are the scriptures that are going to help me remember why Freedom is so important;
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1 (I think standing firm in the freedoms I've already been given will be important, but then moving forward toward more freedom is where I feel God leading)
"Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17
(God's precious Spirit has been so tangible so strong in these 3 weeks of 2013, that I know with out a doubt I'm in a season of rain. My spiritual drought is over. It has been a long, dry season and I'm ready for the rain.)
"So if the Son sets you Free you are free indeed." John 8:36 (Thanking God for what He has begun and that HE and HE alone is faithful to complete the good work HE has begun)

Also, have I ever told you that the movie Braveheart is one of my all time favorite movies? Honest Abe, I'm not just saying that because it goes well with my New Years word. *I can't really explain why, because it is a terribly violent movie, and normally I don't care for violence in movies, but there is something about the legend of William Wallace and the lines about freedom in this movie that has always resonated with me. *(I think... I mean call me crazy... but I might have just explained why right there.)
"You have come to fight as free men. And free men you are. But what will you do without your freedom?"
WE live here in a country where we are free to speak about our beliefs, and for that I am extremely grateful. I often think that at times I take it for granted that I can get up on any given Sunday morning and go wherever my heart desires to praise the One True Living God. Last week at a worship night at church Em and I met a woman from China who looked at Emma with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm so jealous that you are HERE in this place with your mom, able to worship God freely." We talked about her statement on the car ride home and again, the word Freedom was brought to my attention.
"They may take our lives, But they will never take our freedom!!"
It has been a long, hard road to get to where I am 20+ years in my relationship with God, and the one thing I can honestly say is that I never knew I needed Him this much, but now I can't imagine what my life would look like without the countless years of healing and freedom to be the person He created ME to be. I want more freedom so that the next 20+ years by the grace of God are NOT so hard, NOT so long.  Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I might be talking a bit more about this word, my word for this year; FREEDOM and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this word? Also, are you of the cloth that makes resolutions? What's your favorite movie? Oh and  Happy 2013! Can you believe January is almost over?

Determination

Determination.

That is the word I am looking for in this season of my life right now.
There are so many things that I want to accomplish in my life, and the older I get I am realizing that so many of these things I never will.
That's okay.
I just want to accomplish the most important ones.

I want to be like what I read about in this; Luke 9:51- Jesus basically on his death walk into Jerusalem in this passage didn't let it phase him that no one wanted him when he came into town, even though his peeps were ready to bring down fire on the people for rejecting him, he says, basically.... that is not what I am here for.

I want to narrow down this list of goals and remember why I am here above all else.
I want to cut out things in my life that will keep me from these things.
I want to be determined beyond recognition.
Determination.

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I wrote the above lil blurb over 6 months ago.
I am pretty sure it had something to do with me losing weight before my sisters wedding.
I am pretty sure I didn't lose that weight.
And I am pretty sure that as I found this old post in my edit section the reason it stood out to me as something I should revisit is because, the word;
Determination,
is what I am looking, longing for again.
It is that time of year when I am feeling like my jeans are a lil snug.
I am looking at my bank account and re-thinking those financial courses I should have invested in, or maybe wait, I did invest in them but, I conveniently put the wisdom aside around December 1st. Either way, I am now looking at the year ahead and thinking of ways to make my life better as that new year rolls around.
And so the word;
Determination,
is the word that is appealing.

I think the reason that I didn't post this before is because I went off wandering and wondering what exactly I wanted to be determined about at that particular time.
I know I could find what it was I was looking for in my journals if I really wanted to, but I am sure it probably went something like this;

Eat Better.
Exercise.
Read My Bible More.
Deep Clean and Organize my house.
Simplify.
Ya da Ya da Ya da!!

Now as I sit here 6 months later I am looking at that word and thinking, I do want to have determination to do those everyday disciplined life things, but I also want to accomplish some life goals, and passions that I have had from a very young age.

One of those dreams was to write.
One of those passions was to sing.
One of those wants was to photograph life.
One of those desires was to become a wife, a mother, and a teacher.

I can honestly say, that as I look at that list the only one that I can check off is the one that is, was, and will always be the most important.
The other three are just icing on the cake of this beautiful life, and I plan to be determined about all of them in this upcoming year, and take care of the everyday life determinations... one cookie at a time... wait I mean one glass of water at a time.

Happy New Determined Year Readers!