Remembering a Day

Remembering a day we all have said we would "never forget" is harder than it looks. We all want to honor the thousands of lives that were lost on that tragic day, and how we choose to do that doesn't really matter as long as we do remember. As Americans, I don't think we like to remember that bad things really do happen. In our culture I don't feel we grieve well, but that's a topic for another day. This week I have been hearing and reading a lot of conversations as to how we as a Nation should go about remembering, and really I personally think that we should all feel free to remember and honor the heroes of that day however we choose. So that's what I am doing here, remembering.... because;

I will never forget.

For me it's easy to remember how many years have passed since that tragic day because I was still pregnant with my third child, Solomon. He turns 10 this October 4th, and so that's how I know 10 years have passed since 9/11. During his pregnancy I remember being so full of hope. I was excited to find out we were having our first son. I was excited for his future, little did I know that the year he would be born would make history for a tragic reason. Forever, that will be a part of his story. That he was born a month after 9/11.

I will never forget.

I am sure most of us can remember exactly where we were when we saw or heard the news that morning. I was at home with my girls who were only 3 and 1 and a half. We were watching PBS Sesame Street which was the normal morning routine after daddy had left for work. My friend Alyse, who also happened to be my neighbor at the time, called to share the news with me. I thought something had happened to her or one of her kids and was shocked to hear otherwise.

I will never forget.

It's hard for me to imagine raising Solomon without his dad being there to help him, but that is exactly what so many have had to do because they lost their soul mates, and parent partners that day. For Solomon there have been countless first days of school, boy scout mtgs, baseball games, birthday parties, and bedtime prayers said with his dad by his side all these years. For thousands of other children this 9/11 marks how many things they didn't get to do with their loved ones. That's a lot of candles that didn't get blown out. A lot of wishes that didn't get made. A lot of prayers that never got spoken.

I will never forget.

Recently, tragedy struck again in the little town where Solomon was born, Carson City NV. A random gunman shot and killed 4 people yesterday, and now this week before 9/11, will never be forgotten for all those families. That was only 4 people, and I am sure the town of Carson City will be forever changed because of yesterday. I called my hometown of Carson City to make sure that none of my loved ones who still live there were at I HOP that tragic morning. They were not. My mom however taught one of the boys who lost his dad this week. He will never be the same. On 9/11 we lost nearly 3000 people. That's a lot of stories cut short. That's a lot of teachers who had students who lost parents.....

I will never forget.

After 9/11 I remember how many flags went up, how many bumper stickers were posted "Never Forget", and how many lives and their stories were being played over and over on television. I remember being somewhat glued to the television. I remember being so thankful that I lived on the west coast far away from what had happened. I remember feeling safer because I didn't live by a big city or any national monuments. I know that seems selfish, but I was glad my little family was far from the appearance of danger. We were far away from what happened. But, I also remember not feeling safe for quite some time. I was not directly affected by that day. All my loved ones came home that night. I lived on the west coast. It happened on the east coast. I felt I had no real reason to panic, but I remember starting to have panic attacks shortly after that event for the first time in my life.

I will never forget.


What will I do this year, 10 years later?
I thought this was a great way to remember;

http://blog.sojo.net/2011/08/22/jesus-bombs-and-ice-cream/

Check out this creative way to remember.
If only I lived in Philly :)

Well, I don't live in Philly, but I do live in Washington now, and that means I live close to the wonderful Mike Farina family.
I will be at the Beautiful Amoure Farina's birthday party. That's right she was born on 9/11, and if we aren't celebrating her newest grandbaby, we will be celebrating that life goes on and that the most precious thing we can do to remember is to LIVE!

I Will Never Forget.

1 year ago today and then 5 years ago.....

One year ago today my beloved grandmother Joan LeSage passed away from this earth to go home. I loved this woman so much and it hurts to think of her not being here anymore but I am thankful that the sting of death is not all that I feel on this day. I know in my heart that I will see her again and so this time apart doesn't hurt as bad. I know that I will see her smiling eyes again. I know that her hug will warm my spirit again. I know this like I know that my name is Noel, or that my hair is brown, or that I have 4 children. I know this.
This makes me think of the other saddness of this day. All those lives that were lost 5 years ago. They were taken way before the long full life that my grandmother was given. Thier deaths were not nearly as peaceful. She died in her sleep , they died in terror and fear and long before they should have. Thier families didn't get to say goodbye and many of them don't have the assurance that they will ever see them again. That assurance is a gift. It steals the pain away from the sting of death like nothing else can. It is I believe what we are here to realize . That we are eternal beings and that one place or another we will live on.
This was a strange day for me with mixed emotions. A visit from my brother and then from my dad and then with a close friend. I am left feeling sad for those people who are still in fear of death and happy about my grandmother's beautiful long life lived. Mixed emotions. Trying to make sense of it all.