On Turning 40

Today is the first day of my 40s, and so far I have to say it's going pretty well. 

And just in case you were wondering,

I'm not giving up on ducky lips in my 40's, but I do think I should buy a legit pair of glasses.

Meh. 

Maybe Not!!

No mid-life crisis in sight, unless you consider having ducky lips at 40 a crisis?

But seriously, I know I'm only a few hours into this 40's gig but I have a whole life time of stories to tell you that led up to this moment.

And maybe, just maybe some wisdom even though I don't have the grey hairs to show for it! 

Dammit!!

Where are those grey hairs? 

I may be the only 40 year old woman you know who has plans to put some fake grey hairs on my head and still pull off a damn good duck lip, but that's what I feel the 40's are all about.

There is no rule book on what this is supposed to look like and so with that being said, let me tell you some of my thoughts on turning 40.

I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day and it made me feel a little bit better about turning 40.

I love a good story and if I could only approach this birthday with the attitude that now,

I have 40 years of stories then I think I won't feel so old.

I wonder what the title for this chapter will be?

I think I'm heading into this decade with a few heavy duty life notches under my belt like; getting married, having 4 children, moving away, owning homes, a miscarriage, having surgeries, getting degrees, changing jobs, losing loved ones, greeting new loved ones into the world. 

But, there is still SO much of life that I haven't experienced yet and so I find myself in this in-between stage.

The chapter called the Middle. 

When I look back over my life I realize I really do have a lot of great stories to tell and I'm truly grateful for each and every one of them. 

I have that one story of when I married a Giant man named Moses.

Gosh, I love that story.

It's been over 20 years now that, that story began so over half my life has been spent with him as opposed to without. 

If I had to choose only one person to spend the rest of my life with it would still be My Giant.

But before that story I have 19 years of stories that didn't involve a Giant.
And you can't skip those ever important formative years. 

I have the story of my first day in kindergarten when I cried ever so sweetly because I didn't want to leave my momma's side.

I was kind of a momma's girl.

I still am a momma's girl. 

The older I get the more I appreciate my momma. 

Being a good mom truly is a role that will forever be my goal.

She has led the way of what it looks like to grow old gracefully, and I'm happy to follow in her beautiful footsteps.

I have the story of when I met my first best friend at school. We became friends because some bully's where picking on her, and I came to her side and told her that I thought she was perfect. And I kicked those bullies asses... No, No I didn't! But, I wanted to. I probably didn't say anything at all that eloquent either because I was in Kindergarten,  and I'm fairly certain I didn't even give the bullies a dirty look but man was I ever angry on the inside. 

I love that story because it's still ongoing. I'm still friends with this child hood friend.

Old friends are the treasures in this life that nothing else can quite compare to.

I have the story of waiting outside of a retail store that said they would have the popular Cabbage Patch Dolls in stock, and I thought all my childhood dreams were going to come true, only to have my hopes and dreams dashed by a frenzied crowd that snatched up every doll in sight, and an announcement that they were all sold out.

My dad took me out to breakfast afterward to cheer me up and that's when I realized he would forever be one of my life's heros.

 My dad is still one of my life's heros because he has consistently showed up like that when it matters most.

The simple truth of what it takes to be a good parent is somehow wrapped up in the "showing up"!

I have the story of my first kiss that was actually stolen from my lips from a skater kid named Mikey.

That story still makes me angry. What a shit bird that Mikey was.

Girls, don't let that first kiss be stolen or any kiss there after.

Be mindful of where your affections are given. 

Shortly after that, I remember the story where my life would be forever changed by the Lover of my Soul. That story hands down, is my favorite because it has made every story there after better, richer, deeper, and more eternal. 

Make sure your life's story is building for a better eternity.

I have the stories of High School where I lived in the Choir room. I was that geeky choir student.

If my life where the t.v show Glee I was most definitely Rachel, maybe not as snooty, and probably not as confident.

I didn't care that it wasn't cool to be in choir back then because "singing loud for all to hear" was and still is my favorite. 

In this life you have to do what makes your heart sing, no matter what.

I remember that one time I changed my hair color and got tattoos that was a fun chapter. 

I'm kinda over the chapter of caring what people think about me and as I've gotten older it's been easier to live my life for an audience of ONE.

Live YOUR life, there will only be ONE.

I have had the chapter of little people who depended on me for everything. 

To cloth them, feed them, bathe them, and tuck them in at night.

Where every word was repeated and every moment was precious. 

Now I have big little people

who are so independent and capable that it's almost frightening sometimes. 

And every moment is still precious, but the words ...

well they have a changed a bit is all I'm gonna say about that!

Words are important, use them wisely.

I woke up thinking that turning 40 is so strange because in many ways 

you are too young to be old 

and 

too old to be young anymore.

It's an in between age.

Here's to the in between stage of life!

Thanks for sharing it with me beloved reader.

9 more months

In 9 more months I will turn 40 years old. 9 months is a significant amount of time. It's enough time for the average pregnancy. It's enough time for a school year to be complete. It's about the amount of months it takes a baby to look this cute.

40 years, now that is certainly a significantly larger amount of time. That is half an average lifetime. It is a number that meant a lot to some Israelites thousands of years ago as they wandered the desert in search of the Promise land. Seriously, I can't believe they wandered for 40 YEARS!?! I'd be like,  "Excuse me but does somebody know where we are going, cause I gotta go pee?!!"
It's a very long amount of time in a marriage. Most marriages, more than 75% never reach that number. And it's a heck of a LOT longer than this little guy has been on the planet. He's got 39 and 1/2 more years to go to catch up with me.

If I'm fortunate enough to have another 40 years I will leave this world thinking some of the same things I am thinking today.
Did I live my life to the fullest possible measure that I could have? And the answer will be the same as it is today. No, I haven't and No, I didn't.
It won't be for lack of trying, but simply because there is only so much one life can hold. I'm okay with knowing now at almost 40 years old that there are some things in this life time I was given that will just never come to pass for me. I was told once from a very close friend who was diagnosed with Brain Cancer that if you live like every day was your last you very quickly go crazy.  So I just determined to be o.k. with the present moment. I mean to be really o.k. with where you are and what you are doing, even if you want to change some things, there is just so much freedom in this.
But these beauties they have the whole word ahead of them. I hope at least to live long enough to see these lovely young women grow to be amazing older women in their 40's.

I think this train of thought is the reason for many a mid-life crisis.  All of sudden we hear the clock ticking and we freak out on the inside just a bit, and then freak out on the outside a whole lotta bit!! I'm thankful that somewhere in my heart I have peace about turning 40. I'm not saying that I don't think mid-life cray cray thoughts from time to time, but I'm just able to keep that crazy in a bottle until it passes. This lil guy is CRAZY CUTE!!  Don't you agree?

I have started to ask a different question.
The question I am asking myself today and one that I will ask myself on my dying day is... But, did I leave the world a better place? That's all any person can ever hope to accomplish in one lifetime. Making it a little bit better for the ones they leave behind.
Because I'm a mom of 4 kids I think about the future generations on a regular basis and I wonder things like... What will it be like for my children when they are 40? Will I still be here? Will there be flying cars? Will the world look so unfamiliar that it will frighten me ?
What I know about the future is only this, I will have to leave this earth someday and I pray my footprint is one of faith, hope, and love.  Here's to almost turing 40!