My Momma, Momma T, and My After Thoughts on Mother's Day

"Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her."

 Proverbs 31:28

This is my momma.

She is the heart and soul of my family. 

Ask anyone who knows her and they will tell you she is a human being unlike any other.

Her heart is above all generous and kind.

She has a love for Christ that is compelling.

And the woman, is funny as all get out!!

She has raised 5 children, myself included.

5 grown children.

3 girls, and 2 boys stand and called her blessed.

Take that in for a moment.

5 grown adults looked to her yesterday with their hearts full of gratitude for all the years of love and devotion she gave us, and we all called her blessed.

But as I was hanging out with my awesome Momma whom I love so much I got to thinking ...

Is that the goal of this thing called motherhood?

That at the end of all the hard work and investment you pour into your children, they will stand (or write,text,sing) and call you blessed, loved, cherished, amazing, wonderful, awesome? 

Maybe, they love you so much they want to get this tattooed on their body just to tell the world how much they really do love you.

Maybe not cause they are only 2 still!

 I dunno?

The point is

That kind of adoration is what we all long for, but I'm not sure that is the goal? 

Sure it's nice to have a day that we get thanked for our hard work, love and devotion, but it shouldn't be the day that defines us as mom's. 

What happens when our children don't stand (or even text) to call us blessed?

Or even worse, our husband doesn't praise us for all the hard work we do?

I feel like mother's day can be quite the set up for unmet expectations.

Would if you didn't get breakfast in bed?

Would if they don't call you at all let alone, to say they love you?

Would if you don't get that perfume you really wanted, just as a fragrant reminder of the sacrifice you make on a daily basis?

Or even worse would if you don't have your momma here to tell these things to anymore?

Would if God forbid,  your children, they aren't even here anymore?

Would if one of your children tragically went home to be with Jesus way too young?

These were some of my questions and thoughts that I pondered yesterday as I had one of THE best Mother's Days a girl could ever hope for.

I remember though, when my kids were little, Mothers Day was just like any other day. I still had to change poopy diapers, I still had to do laundry and clean up 4 lils messes. I remember the discontentment, bitterness, and bitchy, bratty attitude I would have because I thought... THIS IS MY DAY!! 

I shouldn't have to do this chore or wipe that butt.

Rather than thinking, I get to do this as an honor and privilege, I would spend the whole day bemoaning the things that didn't happen, and the stuff that went wrong.

I realize now that I totally missed out on what a blessing that day really was.

  Now that my kids are grown and pretty much did all the cooking and cleaning yesterday and spoiled me so much so, that I didn't even lift a finger... not EVEN a thumb ... ALL DAY... (don't even get me started on the love notes) I can look back and remember what it was like being in the trenches with the littles.

I remember so well, many a Mother's day that I had the wrong heart attitude. 

I was also reminded by so many momma's yesterday that this day might bring some sorrow instead of joy.

 When I went up to one of the mommas at church to say Happy Mothers Day, she told me she had lost her daughter 2 years ago and sat with only her son and I'm sure a HUGE hole in heart where her daughter used to sit.

Then I was reminded by another momma while walking out the door of church that her oldest son didn't even call.

And even still another friend text to say her child had ran away on mothers day.

It broke my heart and at the same time brought a whole lotta perspective to my sometimes selfish outlook on life.

Not all momma's have joy on this day.

Not all children can call their mom at all, or just wouldn't call her because she is THE one person who they blame all of their sadness in life upon.

The joys and sorrows of this life are so strange to me.

It's just such a mystery to me still why some have SO much joy, while others have SO much sadness.

Why some cups are filled to overflowing, while others have never even been given a drop of joy.

And the only thing I can come back to is perspective.

Our heart's attitude in this life is crucial to our well-being. 

For the momma who sat without her daughter, she was happy to have her son there and talked of the relaxing day they would share.

For the momma whose oldest didn't call, she was thankful for the ones that were still there with her celebrating her day. 

And for my friend whose teen ran away she chose to laugh with her other kids and new friends. 

That's an amazing gift, to see the brighter side of life.

For my friend who didn't have his momma here to say Happy Mother's day to, he called or texted the other Momma's in his life.

And for the one's that didn't have their child with them ... well they looked forward to the day when they would be reunited again.

Jesus, help me to keep a good perspective, a humble perspective in regards to this life. Guard my heart from becoming selfish on all the future Mothers Days I have ahead of me. 

SO often I can let little things rob me of my joy, and yesterday I was reminded that in this life there will be joy and sorrow, good days and bad.

THE only anchor I have in the midst of the highs and lows is the love of Christ, and HIS love flowing through me.

The only glory I can give for my Fab 4 is to their Creator.

And of all the things my momma has given me her love for her Savior was/is the greatest gift because when she is called home someday, and I can't call her up to bless her, Jesus will still be here with me to comfort and help me carry on.

And now to take a cue from Momma T. at the end of the day it isn't all the great things we have done in this life that we will be judged by, it is about the simple sacrifices we make when no one is watching. 

 

About Being a Momma

Here's what I know so far about being a momma;
It truly is a privilege to be a mom. 
It has challenged me to the core of who I am.
I never thought that doing this much laundry was humanly possible.
I now know that my own mother is in FACT a Saint.
I will never find another role, career, life choice, hobby, or job as rewarding or as challenging as the one called motherhood.
I never realized how selfish I was until these 4 people came along to shine a light on that.
I can't begin to put in words what it feels like when I see smiles on these 4 human beings faces.

I could write a book about the things I find while doing the laundry.
Linking arms with other mothers whether they work outside the home or not is a necessity to succeed in this role. Seriously, the league of mom's is so vital and there is nothing like it under the sun.I'm so grateful for all the momma's in my life. They remind me I'm not alone.
I can't take too much credit for their success's or failures, because they are theirs alone.
I'm beginning to see that the letting go part of this gig is going to be by far the hardest part. Harder than dirty diapers, midnight feedings, drawings on the wall, flu infestations... etc.

Conversations while riding in the car, or around the dinner table, or at night before prayers... these are the only jewels these ears will ever need. 
There is no perfect mother, no perfect child, no perfect family, but realizing this brings about a unique kind of God given perfection.
I never knew how full of fear my heart could be.
On any given day I truly am required to be a doctor, lawyer, taxi-cab driver, psychologist, seamstress, artist, architect, superhero, advocate, chef extraordinaire, interior designer, and of course photographer. 

This journey that began for me 16 years ago is not a race, it's a life long marathon, and one that I hope to finish leaving a legacy of only one thing behind; LOVE.

Mom, The Month of MAY, and My new Theme for this Month

I almost lost it in the card isle in the grocery store the other day. I was looking for Mother's day cards and this year I decided to send them to not only the 3 mothers I have; Mom Ellen, Momma Nash, and Mom B., but also to some other mother's in my life.


So, basically I went nutts, and spent way too much money on cards, but .... shhh please don't tell on me for this. I am keeping with my LOVE theme that I set out to do in the month of February. I don't know if you caught that blog but I said that I wanted to write one person a day in the month of February to tell them how much I love them and well, there are just more people than that calendar month provided for me to tell how much I love so I decided in February to make the month of May be a special theme month for me as well.



I know I am a dork who LOVES words probably wayyy too much.

I know to most of you it might just be a silly thing, but for me it has been therapeutic to tell the people I love, that I LOVE them.

I know there should be an award for cheese-ball of the year that could be given to people for things such as this.

BUT

It is the John Mayer song "Say What you NEED to Say" kind of thing for me that is happening here.



So May is the "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight Oh Lord" month! WOW! Sheesh, that was a long one. I thought of this though the other day when I read this in THE BOOK. I thought, I am pretty sure those words, the words that The Lord would accept, would be those of sincere and genuine heart felt LOVE.


You can now award me with the Cheese-Ball of the year award, but go right ahead! Won't even bug me a bit, because you know what? Chances are if you are reading this blog I probably love you too! SO THERE.






The pictures are of just SOME of the amazing mother's in my life. Enjoy.

Mothers

This is a tribute to all the good moms out there. Today was the first day back at the small group "Mommy and Me" and I must say that yet again I am amazed by mothers. What is required of us, what we are capable of , and what we really stand for amazes me. I really believe that most moms don't even realize how amazing they are and how appreciated they should be, so here I am in a sense just tooting my own horn, but also giving a very big shout out to all the great moms who work day in and day out to make the world a better place. It has been said that this is the hardest job on earth and I must say that the only other job that it parallels for this title is that of being a Father. My own mom always says that "Parenting aint for cowards" and boy, is she right about that. You cannot last a minute in this vocation in life if you are weak willed and cowardly.
So, if you are reading this and you are a mom just know that someone else out there knows what a hard worker you are and what a completely unselfish, special, amazing person it takes to be a "Mom". Good Job, Well done, and know that all the unseen, behind the scenes work that you do is really not unseen at all. There is someone who sees EVERY mess you clean up, EVERY tear that you wipe dry, EVERY diaper you change, and HE thanks you too.