We're On A Road To No Where

Sing along ... You know you want to!

Here's the story of our Lemony Snickets series of Unfortunate events, journey back to Nevada. 

I'm not even sure I know where to begin, but let's start with what that Sunday was supposed to look like. 

We (meaning mostly Dan and Moses) loaded up the Uhaul and by around noon we( again, Dan and Moses) were mostly done. The plan was to then go over to Dave's house and finish a tattoo on said friend Daves arm and eat more of Dan's no sauce pulled pork, and then get on the road.

Mmm Mmm... Dan that pork is still making my mouth water!

Wait ... where was I?

Oh yea, back to our Lemony Snickets Story.

Ahem... well the plans at Dave's house  got the ka bosh when Mo realized he had forgotten a very important item. Note to all tattooist,  when setting out to tattoo don't forget the needles. Not like you can just go down to AmPm and pick one of those puppies up. Course....maybe you could in some parts of the city... but Ew yucka! Needless to say, we found ourselves with some extra time, and thought why not get an early start on our very long, very slow, 14 hour car ride.

All packed up and feeling sad, but ready to get back to our kiddos we hit the Seattle freeway and got 50 miles down the road before we hit major traffic, and our first breakdown on the trailer.

We were on a very busy 5 lane freeway and slowing down for accident traffic up ahead when Mo realized the trailer tire was smoking so the safest place we could get to was a median by the on coming traffic ramp. Now, here is where I tell you I was for the first time in my life grateful for the traffic because had it not slowed us down a bit, who knows what might have happened. 

Here's also where I tell you that our reaction to this first break down was calm, cool, and collected. 

For realz, it really was. 

My Giant called the road side assistance number for Uhaul and we sat and waited.

And waited.

And sat.

And waited some more.

It was about 2 hours in when I realized I really had to go pee.

So my calm was starting to leave. 

I felt a bit trapped being that there were cars flying by now on both sides of us, as the accident traffic  had cleared the cars got faster and faster. I thought, it would have been a bit like the game frogger to get off to the road side and go pee.

So I waited.

By about almost 3 hours in I really, really had to pee.

So my cool was starting to leave.

And well my collected.... Was this thought... Hell, if Sandra Bullock in the movie 2 and Half Weeks Notice can find relief on a freeway... so can I. 

My relief was a bit less dramatic than hers, and all I'm going to say about that is thank God for dixie cups, hand sanitizer, and Kegel exercises. 

Ok moving on... that was really the only action besides the freeway traffic that kept whizzing by and rocking our truck every 5 seconds. 

It was around almost the 4th hour when Mo decided to move the truck to a safer spot.

He talked at length with Uhaul about this, but apparently all  they really cared about was their truck and NOT OUR VERY LIVES!!

So we very slowly found our break in the traffic to get off the road and we took our chance.

Limping along we made it first off on the side of the road and then he decided the next exit was where we needed to get off. 

WHEW!!

4 very LONG hours later we were at a 76 station I was relieving myself further, and Mo was getting a sandwich.

We were stinky.

We were tired.

WE WERE NOT CALM,COOL, OR COLLECTED anymore.

But we were safe and

We were ready to get out of that damn truck, but we couldn't just call a cab and move on we had to wait for Uhaul to the rescue. 

So we waited, again only this time in a some what safer spot.

I mean somewhat safe, it was Kent WA after all ;)

The rescue truck pulled up about 5 hours later and the ONLY solace was a motel room of our choosing, that they still had to approve for us to be checked into.

So we waited again.

Are you catching that waiting on Uhaul was the theme for the day?

There we waited in a Best Western lobby for about 45 minutes just so that someone from Uhaul could verify that we were the people we said we were.

Umm.... like anyone would lie about going through what we just went through so they could a free Best Western room.. psh Doh Doh heads Uhaul!!

The wait would have taken longer until the hotel clerk said to the guy from Uhaul  "I'm going to check these two in for the night I think they have been through enough for one day"

Wow, finally some customer service!!

A very tired, sleepy MoNoSco hit the sack around 10:30 p that night.

We didn't make it far, but we were glad that day was behind us and happy to be safe and sound in our BW bed for the night.

We were awoken by a 9a phone call that said our trailer was ready and we could get back on the road again by 10:30.

(To BE continued)

Where's the Beef and What's your Beef?

Does anyone recognize this cute lil old lady? She is the gramma for all those Where's the Beef commercials that Wendy's put out in the 80's or was it the 90's? Well, and she is my comedy relief today as I tell you about all the beefs I have been having with life lately. And, No I wasn't eating at Wendy's.

I'm noticing a trend lately in my life, I seem to be having a beef with everyone and everything. Can you say irritable anyone? Seriously, it has made me wonder if I am pre-menopausal. I keep asking God to help mellow me out, but I'm thinking I just wish they made a happy pill, so I could take like 100 of them and call it a day!! Let me give you a few examples of the beefs I am referring to;

So,I don't consider myself to be one that has road rage, but recently I have had a few real bleepity bleep drivers enter my pathway. No biggie, right? Everyone has jerk driver issues sometimes right? Especially, when you live in a big city.Well, the other morning this BMW driver cut in front of me ever so abruptly on our busy street here and then the funny part is(or the not so funny part) he ended up being a parent at my kids school.

What? What? Uh - huh! Needless to say, I was glaring at the back of his skull so fiercely I could have burned a hole right through it. As he drove in he proceeded to the drop off zone at which point he then GOT OUT OF HIS CAR (sorry for yelling but you needed to feel the shock and awe that I was experiencing at this point). It was to get his kids backpack out of the trunk and then button up his child's coat ever so slowly and THEN give the longest hug a parent could ever give... Fer real... It was like hugging was an Olympic sport or like he was never gonna see the kid again. Now I'm all for parent love and affection but there is a place for this. It's called a parking spot. SO ... clearly this guy didn't know about the "code" of the drop off zone. I mean call me crazy, but I think the words " drop off zone" should have given him a clue. Or maybe this sign ...

So here's my beef with this guy, not only was a he a grade A royal A%% hole driver but then he didn't even have the decency to pull in a parking spot to give his long farewell to his child. No, instead he made the long line of cars behind him wait while he was in the drop off zone. 
My beef OBLIVIOUS PEOPLE!!

Ok.. Moving on

I received a letter of "concern" from the elementary school that my children attend. It was regarding how many days of being absent that my youngest Zed head, had. Which, I would like to point out is under 10. Ahem... ok, here's my beef with this one being at school when you are well is great, but what this letter conveyed was "send your kids to school whether they are sick and dying or healthy and happy we just want your money" This letter really bothered me. The more I thought about it the more hot and bothered I became. So, I decided to go talk to the principal. The more I thought about the principal the less bothered I became because I know her. I feel as though knowing and being known by your kids principal is a very important goal to have in all parenting careers, but that's a topic for another day. So the more I thought about our meeting I began to have some Holy Spirit led good self talk that went like this, Noël why are you going to see Melissa you know she didn't personally put out those letters and she probably feels the same way you do about them. They are a district mandated letter you know this.  

Still, I went to go see her and our conversation went something like this ;
"hi Melissa how are you?"
"great noël how are you "
" great I really just have a quick question for you about the letter I received regarding Isaiah's absences ?" 

At which point she rolled her eyes because she already knew what I was going to say.

At which point I felt like doing a Homer Simpson Doh!!

But I said... "the first thing i just want to ask is do you send those letters out as a school district mandate or are they a personal letter that the faculty here has come up with?"

Right away she put my heart at ease by laughing and saying, they were without a doubt a school district mandate and that she had even received one herself for her own child.

Whew... ok so then I was on to the next beef I had.

And so on and so forth. And are you catching the common thread here? 
The common thread is that I HAVE ISSUES!! I'm working on them, but sometimes just typing them out helps me to realize how silly I am and also why people resort to taking happy pills at this point in life. That's a joke, kinda, sorta. 

Oh and also I read this;
"Understand this my beloved brethren(or sisterthen)Let every man or woman be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to take offense, (or a beef,) or get angry. James 1:19

OUCH!!
DOH!!
Double OUCH!!

The End... Pray for me and my issues... And thank you for this therapy session, the check is in the mail and.... have I told you lately how beloved you are? I have NO beef with you beloved reader, none what so ever.

I'm linking up here today cause clearly that's where I need to be;