Monday, August 08, 2016

And the Beat Goes On...

I feel as though Sonny and Cher's got the theme song for my life right now. This is what keeps playing in my head these days expressing my emotional state so well ; 

"AND the BEAT goes on.
  And the beat goes on.

You're welcome for that video btw ;)

Today as 3 of my 4 kids headed back to school (Yes I KNOW it's only AUGUST 8th, and this is in my opinion a criminal thing to be done, but alas thank you NV school system... I digress)  it seemed so strange to not have all 4 lined up ready to head out into the world.

I always get a little emotional at the beginning of each new school year, although there was some heavy sighing and a sort of "limb missing" kind of feeling this morning I have to say overall
I'm feeling good.

 La de da de de, la de da de da!!

Normally my brain can't help but jump into the future where the picture will soon just have my boys, and then eventually it will just be Isaiah, and my caption will say "And then there was only ONE."

(Insert weepy emoticon face here)

But staying present, in this moment is what I'm fighting hard to do these days and today is no different.

I'm trying not to stay stuck in the past, or jump too far into the future.

I remember so well older parents saying to me, "Don't blink it goes by SO fast!"
 I can honestly relate to that now, but thank God for my handsome, hot, husband named THE Moses who actually reminds me that it was in fact several, million, billion blinks that got us to this very moment, and it's a good moment.

La de da de de, la de da de da!!

I know we can't escape the forward motion of this train called life, and so I will embrace the moment that is here before me now.

It's a happy moment.

It's a full moment.

It's a good moment.

My kids are healthy and growing like kids often do when you feed them, and truly they are some of my most favorite humans to hang out with.
My oldest hasn't moved out YET, and we all love each other.
21 years into our story and we all still love each other.
That's something to celebrate!

La de da de de, la de da de da!!

It seems like only moments ago we were the family pictured below. 

There is so much that could be said about this photo, but what comes to my mind first,  and foremost is truly how fast the time has gone with these billion blinks I've made.
The other thought I have is in regard to being that young momma who felt like she was at the top of her game because I had this all under control. Really it was all just the illusion of control that I felt I had in that moment.
A time when life was simpler and I even clearly had control of what everyone in my family was to wear. 

Now I'm no longer in control of wardrobe choices, Thank God, and more than that I have realized that although I could choose their outfits back then and even who they may have hung out with I never really had control.
That is the illusion when your kids are little that we mommas often times live under.
But from the moment they are born we quickly realize that we really don't have control over these little humans. 
The more I have embraced not being in control the easier this parenting gig has become. 
I've always believed that the only real way you know who your kids are is how they behave when you're not around. 

When I'm not there with these 4 amazing young people I am told they are pretty damn amazing human beings ! Time and time again that is the big fatty bonus check I get to hear from teachers, friends and family who are around when I am not. They remind me and confirm that all those years of being a stay at home mom was well worth it! 

There truly is no greater investment than our kids. 

La de da de de, la de da de da!!

By the way, we call this our Mormon family photo. 
No offense to our Mormon friends, but we are all just a little too matchy matchy for this monosco clan!

Our faces are so different now.
Our bodies are so different now.
Our lives are so different now. 

Today is a new day and I feel as though we are approaching the beginning of an end. 

The end of an era, when my kids were all under the same roof but very much still a beginning, as our story grows and goes in different directions. 

I realize now that as we embark on this new adventure with young adult children the pictures will only get fuller, with more people and dare I even say it yet.... eventually ( way far in the future eventually) grandkids.

And we will soon turn the corner where my family of 6 will Lord Willing expand and grow as my children meet the men and women I have been praying for over all these countless years.

We will Lord willing head into the future together and still be smiling, but a little less matchy matchy and that's all good with me.

And the beat goes on....

La de da de de, la de da de da!!!

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