Being

I like the idea of just BEING. Not having an agenda. Not having a watch to keep track of. Not having any pressing appointments to keep. I can very easily slip into this mode of just BEING versus the mode of work and always having something pressing, pushing, waiting, doing, doing, and doing some more.

I think I could have been a nun except that I like sex. (Random, I know but I just had to go there) There is a joke about why nun's are named nun's but I digress :)

I also like to talk and so that too might have been a problem in the nun department.

They do however spend a good portion of their day just being. They grow vegetables. They pray. They cook, clean, and read. So aside from the not having sex and the talking oh and I also love my kids so that wouldn't have worked either. Oh, and I like being a part of the society not isolated from it.  Okay so I couldn't have been a nun but work with me here.

Thinking about living this life of Just Being in the midst of so much busy is a hard problem to figure out. I think God had some very good original ideas about it all though. A Sabbath is very important. A day to be just because. He knew we needed this day. We needed a day to remind ourselves of what is most important in this short time that we are here.

As the summer approaches I get very excited because I know that this is a good chunk of time that is given to reminding my children,  that being is just as important as doing. 

I would like to get to a place where I still follow this way of life that has been set before me. Somehow in the last year I lost sight of that. Seeing this in action recently made me realize how off track I  had become. 

There is another part of this just being that I also want more of and that is living my life without regret or apologies. I want to be at a place where I don't feel bad or even bothered for being different from the majority around me. I am not there yet either but even more than the day of Just Being I want everyday inside my soul to be at rest more than it has been before. 

I have grown and changed this past year in a way that has taught me a lot.  There are so many important lessons that came out of this very difficult year but probably the most important one that I don't ever want to forget is the one about BEING.

Being real.

Being present.

Being silent.

Being ready.

Being loud.

Being funny.

Being serious.

Being lazy.

Being happy.

Being sad. 

Being angry.

Being tired.

Being crazy.

Being........

Sabbath

"We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring." Oswald Chambers
This quote really sums up for me what the time of Sabbath has produced in my heart. This break from routine has really once again reinterated the importance of the process and everyday living. I have realized about myself that events (places to go , people to see) have become somewhat of an idol for me. Not having that to rely upon to define my life has been interesting to say the least. I am thankful for my faithful Lord, Savoir, and Friend because He has taught me that in the commonplace is where it is at. In the humble moments of life where we realize the preciousness of people and each persons unique giftings and talents as well as thier weaknesses and failures and then take it a step further to realize we are just like them, no better and no worse, we begin to see a very big picture. An event begins to take place in our hearts that changes us and those around us. I am thankful that God knows ME even though there are so many others just like ME there is only one ME and He knows this girl inside and out and STILL He never leaves ME.

Approaching the Sabbath

Today was a bittersweet day for me in that it was great to be with everyone but as I looked around I began to feel sad in a way knowing that I won't be seeing everyone for the next few weeks. In sharing communion at second service I began to get a bit teared up which is silly I suppose but then maybe not. This past few weeks have been emotional for our family and as I looked around the room this morning I was very grateful for all the relationships that I have come to enjoy through Hillside. I was feeling the" vitamin love." :)
I am very excited in many ways to have this time because I believe that God is going to do some really big and also very small things to continue to grow me. I am proud to call Hillside my church family/community and I am proud of all of us for answering this call to step it up a notch. At the same time I am very mindful of how much this thing we call church has become a very normal part of my routine, a connection point if you will, and again not being one who is big on change it takes me a minute to get fully on board with any change.
I am on board fully with this change. Mostly because I know it a direct call to obedience but also because I know it is a necessary part of our growth as a church family.
Today some very close friends came to visit Hillside for the first time and thier newbie commentary was so, so positive. It made me really appreciate some things that maybe I have come to take for granted for the last 3 years that I have been a part of Hillside.
All that to say, I will miss you family. Looking forward to our bon-voyage on Saturday and the party that will launch this and also to what lies ahead.