Rhythm, I'm not talking about the musical kind like keeping the beat of a song or having moves to a dance.
There is a rhythm to this life, as opposed to the musical rhythm.
Everyone has this kind of rhythm as opposed to musical rhythm which everyone does NOT have.
Life Rhythms are the soft quiet way we go about our day, week, month year.
Sometimes the rhythms of life can go by so quietly that we forget to look up and see how the world has changed.
Other times, our lives rhythm can be hi-jacked by tragedy and we never really find that beat again.
And still other times we can take on someone else's life rhythms and try to adopt them as our own, all the while we are dying inside.
The rhythm of a life looks different for everyone and takes everyone a certain amount of time to find what their true rhythm is.
Some are upbeat and always on the go and this feeds their soul.
Others life rhythm is much slower and requires much more down time.
I have realized after 40 years on this planet that mine is of the latter group.
Although I do ALOT I don't function well in that "ALOT" category or rhythm section if you will.
It has taken me many years to realize this and to be ok with it.
It's ok now for me to know that every week I need at least two days to regroup as opposed to the one day of Sabbath that every person on the planet really needs, but often denies themselves.
Finding your life's rhythm is somehow tied into finding your true authentic self.
Some people never truly find that person that they were always intended to be.
I believe finding your true self and life rhythm comes from slowing down long enough to hear the sound, the beat of your heart.
Asking yourself questions like;
What makes my heart sing?
That's a saying that my mom has said so many times I can almost hear her saying it now with her east coast accent. It's a good questions because it opens up all kinds of other answers.
What makes your heart sing can sometimes often lead you to your rhythm of life.
I want to retain my essential God given rhythm no matter what the seasons of change may bring, and the only way I know how to do that is to check back in again and again with the rhythm maker.
The season changer.
The life giver.
The conductor if you will.
And of course by now your wondering what the point was to this lil here blog...
Well I really just needed more Gloria Estefan in my life!
Every year around this time I start to get so excited to see signs of Spring popping up all over.
I sometimes feel like Buddy the Elf with my enthusiasm about Spring because all I need to see is the tiniest bit of color, a yellow something or other and I'm giddy.
My kids know after all these years that I'm going to be pointing and shouting like a mad woman until all of Spring has Sprung. I suppose there are worst things to be, other than overly enthusiastic about nature.
I know I have blogged several times over about my love of the seasons and how important I feel every season is.
I come by this way of thinking naturally as my heart is beyond sentimental.
And a sentimental heart can't help but LOVE the seasons of life and at the same time dread how fast they come and go.
Today however, I don't want to talk about my love for seasons.
I want to talk about what I think Spring signifies not only in nature but somehow in my soul this year.
To truly enjoy Spring I feel, you have to embrace Winter in all it's darkness. There are dark shadows that brush across all of our lives and we have to fully accept those moments as part of this life. We have to grieve, retreat, and lay dormant for a while, in order that our hearts can heal.
Kind of like what the seed does under the snow.
But, often times we try to hurry up the winters in our lives.
We don't do pain, darkness, uncomfortableness, and sorrow well.
“It is a very beautiful day. The woman looks around and thinks: 'there cannot ever have been a spring more beautiful than this. I did not know until now that clouds could be like this. I did not know that the sky is the sea and that clouds are the souls of happy ships, sunk long ago. I did not know that the wind could be tender, like hands as they caress - what did I know - until now? Unika Zürn
Although, Winters in nature might seem like a time that nothing is really happening we all know that what happens during this season is just as important for the outcomes of the Spring and Summer to come into full bloom.
How we process the winters in our souls affects the outcomes of Spring in our hearts.
In a sense I feel like I have circled around a winter in my soul that has lasted longer than just one natural season. I'm trying to process exactly what that very long winter accomplished, but I think it has something to do with contentment, forgiveness, and moving forward.
For a very long time I have been holding onto a promise that God gave me several years ago when financially we as a family had lost everything and we retreated to the woods of Washington.
To say we were on survival mode that first year would be an understatement, but by the second year we were starting to get the hang of living in an 800 sq ft cabin with only one bathroom and we were learning contentment.
Somewhere in that second year God spoke something to my heart that I will never forget, and somehow all these years later I see with my very own eyes HIS promises coming true.
It is as though I'm experiencing Spring for the first time in a very long time.
And like the songbirds that wake us on a beautiful Spring morning, I just want to sing out ...
"Then sings my soul,
My Savior God to thee
How Great thou art.
How Great thou art."
If today you find yourself still in the season of winter in your soul and it has been a long hard winter, with no sun in sight, please remember that HE who causes the Sun to rise and the Moon to glow(or reflect the suns light for you scientific types out there)
HE IS FAITHFUL!!
"The soul should always stand ajar,
ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."
Emily Dickinson
I hope your soul is ajar ready and waiting for the Spring to enter in.
The turning of the corner to the road that was never ending will turn.
The light at the end of the tunnel is there, it might seem dim but it's there.
The ever approaching season of a Spring like no other that
your heart and soul has ever known will come.
It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.Lamentations 3: 22-23
Here's the part where I tell you WE are moving back to Nevada.
Sigh.
After almost 4 years of living in Washington, the Evergreen state, it appears that the not so Green State... I mean the Silver State has called us back.
Sigh.
Here's the part where I tell you I feel a lot like that flower up there.
Broken Open
and
Fully Bloomed.
And here's the part in my life story where I tell you that this quote is a description of what the past 4 years has been.
"There came a time when the risk to remain tight
in the bud was more painful than the risk it took
to blossom."
Anais Nin
The risk, the pain, it's all played a part in bringing us where we are today.
It was a risk to come up here and we didn't know if it would be one worth taking, but we took it anyways.
It was too painful for us to watch our home be taken away from us that's why we left.
We walked away very slowly from all that we knew, from all that was familiar.
In the time that we have been here, we have played the role of foreigner, and we have been blessed to be placed in families.
The word hospitality has taken on a WHOLE new meaning.
Here's the funny part,
to move back to Nevada used to seem like it would be a failure, but here's the part where we get to say,
We tried and we didn't fail because at least we can say we tried.
We took the leap of faith.
We sprang forward into a foreign land.
We imagined a very different life for our little family.
And it was good.
It was really good.
We feel stronger now.
We know the depths and the heights of this place.
And in the end it's just a place.
Whether we loved it, or hated it, it's just a place.
Life has a funny way of bringing everything full circle.
The main reason we had a spring board to leave Nevada was due to the foreclosure of our third home.
Many of you stood by our sides when we were robbed by Bank of America.
Many of you were robbed too.
Here's the part where it has turned full circle, not only are we moving back to Nevada for an incredible opportunity, but
this past week, we received a check from Bank of America.
A tiny piece of some retribution from the Bank that stole our home from us, but not our lives.
I started it this morning when I read the quote below,
and then came back to it this afternoon after the Boston bombings. And now here I sit this evening with this post that in a matter of 8 hours has taken on a whole new meaning. If you want the bullet point version of this post here it is;
-God is good.
In every season.
-God is still good.
- When bad things happen,God is still on the throne.
-In the Winter and in the Spring,
one thing remains;
God and His faithfulness.
Here's the quote that got this train of though rolling;
"The joyful birds prolong the strain,
their song with every spring renewed;
the air we breathe, and the falling rain,
each softly whispers:
GOD IS GOOD."
John Hampden Gurney
The above quote reminds me of two things;
1.)Seasons are important,
and
B.)The present moment is a gift.
Whether it is in the Winter or the Spring.
Present aka Gift.
Oh and
D.) Am I listening long enough, well enough to always be hearing the soft whisper that indeed says, God Is Good?
There is a renewal process that happens every Spring that gives birth to new life. But, what we want so desperately to forget in the Spring is what caused this life to come to pass.
The Cold, Dark Winter.
We even whine and complain if Spring starts to change it's mind and head back into those symptoms of Winter we are trying to forget!
Can I get a witness those of you who live in Minnesota terrain?
With the cold dark days of December behind us now, it's easy to shout the praise from the mountain tops.
We get a spring in our step,
A spring in our song,
Heck even a spring in our cleaning!!
And that's great.
It's the way it should be.
I'm just reminded by this quote to think a little deeper.
Because although, its easy to say God is Good when things are coming back to life, it is a very hard position to take when death is on the line.
("Never mess with a Cecilian when DEATH is ON THE LINE!!" You're welcome Princess Bride fans)
So I ask myself what was
my song,
my step,
and even the cleaning of my own heart like this winter?
I can honestly say that this Winter was a lot better than those that have gone before it.
Still, there was some lag in my step.
But as my kids went on Spring break this past week I had the thought that I could hardly believe it was over.
The Winter is over.
Spring is here.
It didn't seem like some Winters that have gone before it to be so long that I wondered if there would ever be a Sunrise AGAIN!!
Ya know what I'm saying?
I guess that's a good sign.
I bet by now you are gathering that Winter is not my favorite?!
Yer, A smart one young whipper snapper !!
This past week has been filled from top to bottom with nothing but goodness for me and mine.
A much needed visit from Momma Nash has been the main reason, as well as having some much needed time with my Fab 4 while they have all been on Spring break.
Do you ever have weeks like this?
Where everyone is healthy,
everyone is happy,
and all is right with the world?
I can't help but sing God's praise in the midst of such goodness.
So that's what I'm gonna do here for a minute.
Listen real close. This is me,
singing God's praise.
As we are in full swing into this Spring season(say that five times fast for fun) I start to think about what lies ahead. The flowers are blooming. The birds are chirping. My kids will soon be wrapping up this school year and in less than 1 month I will have two teenage girls in my house. 1 in High School, 2 in Middle School and only 1 left in Elementary school. I'm coming up on a new season of life(BIG KID SEASON)
This Spring break provided such a wonderful time to take the pulse of this lil family we call MoNoSco and the pulse was strong.
It was good.
Because God is good.
I give thanks for this.
*Now, as I sit here and type the news of the Boston Marathon bombing has just hit the airwaves and I'm praying for all those on the east coast that may have been affected by this.
I have family on the East coast who thankfully are all okay, but I'm thankful with pause now.
No longer a Spring in my step.
Pause.
Selah.
It is a crazy thought that someone this morning got up, laced their shoes for a race they have been training for months, maybe even all year, and now finds themselves either injured, or worse gone forever.
Although it is Spring for all of us, someone over there has just headed back into Winter. The darkest one they will have ever faced. And I hope and pray for them even in the midst of this they are able to say
God is STILL Good!
It's hard to make sense of such senseless acts of violence.
Try as we might, that is why they are appropriately named.
So, I am not even going to attempt to make sense of the difference a day made in my heart.
It started out with a spring and not a care in the world and has ended now here with extreme sadness for those in Boston.
But one thing has remained;
God in His Goodness.
At the Foursquare Church youth camps that my husband and I used to frequent,there was a saying that would get said A LOT!
The speaker would say,(or shout depending on how The Spirit was moving)
GOD IS GOOD
and the people would say in return
ALL THE TIME
And even though I don't understand days like today, somehow, by the grace of God, I do understand this.
It reminds me that life, the air we breathe when we wake each day is so very precious.
The present really is a gift, not to be taken for granted.
How can I pass up a day like 12.12.12 and NOT write something?
We will never have this moment in time again, so thank you for sharing some part of it with me.
I'm going to try to not get all sentimental on you, but I make no promises because...
numbers and the seasons changing always causes my sentimental heart to reflect.
Of course the official first day of winter isn't until 12.22.12 but as the song goes, "It's beginning to look alot like Christmas" you could also add Winter too. Around here it looks and feels like both Christmas and Winter have arrived, and that means the end of another year is right around the corner.
This year I have to say, first of all it went by SO fast! I mean it seems only yesterday I was welcoming my little niece "Last Minute Biscuit" onto planet earth and now she's almost ONE!
Would you look at those toophers!! SO darn cute!
When I look back on 2012 though,
It was a Good year for me and mine, but if it was as dark as winter for you,
then I pray your heart is filled with Hope for the future.
Because like the quote from good ole' Anne with an 'E' goes,
"Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."
"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories"
An Affair To Remember
I have to admit, that Winter is not my favorite season. In fact I think it is my least favorite season.
If it is yours, I would like to know why?
Like a true blue optimist though, I try to find the good in every season as it comes down the train of life.
But, I gotta say that really I just find it hard to celebrate the time of year that death and darkness are so prevalent.
That being said,
I can't help but think about you all as I sit here and tappa tappa tappa.
You fill my heart with such joy, and the days may be dark outside, but in my heart as I think of you there is such bright color.
I'm a bit like Fredrick the field mouse in that way.
(BTW Fredrick is one of my all time favorites)
I know that not everyone can gather the colors of love like this and that sometimes where they "live"
is like the land of Narnia, where
"It's always winter, and never Christmas."
So...
In an effort to spread Christmas cheer and love with YOU beloved reader, and my neighbors,
I went about our property putting up spots of color and Christmas everywhere.
As I was hanging those ornaments on our driveway fence, a neighbor who spoke no English( I think she is from Japan) was on a walk with her husband, or at least I think it was her husband.
She stopped and watched me for a minute with a great big smile on her face, and then without a word she came along side me and started to hang up some Christmas Cheer for the rest of the neighborhood to enjoy.
“My old grandmother always used to say, Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever.”
If you are just passing by my blog today, like that neighbor who was out for a walk, then I hope your heart feels lighter after leaving here. I hope I have put up spots of color for you to enjoy before we head into the dark winter months.
Here is another spot of color to make you smile
I just can't get enough of my ADORABLE nieces.
Because, although it may be dark and dismal in nature it does not need to be so in our hearts.
Keep in mind that as we head into the gloomy months of winter you are never alone.
You are never without a friend.
And the lover of your soul longs to bring you Christmas every day.
My kids start school next week, but we are already in the back to school mode around here. The meet and greet of teachers for the boys is today, and the High Schooler has been for two weeks already at her school everyday for Volleyball practice. The resident Jr. Higher this year doesn't get a meet and greet apparently, but we are just gonna go roam the halls for fun. Let's hope we don't get kicked out before she even gets started. So with all of this I have to reprogram the internal clocks from island time to "REALITY" time. So in the evenings we have been preparing for bed around 8 and then reading for about 20 minutes, and then lights out around 8:45 ish. Let it go on record, That's been a pretty big (Ish) folks.
Last night was rough, that's all I'm gonna say.
When I cracked the whip at 8pm to go brush teeth and get ready for bed, you should have heard the out cry.
But then around 11:30 the house was quiet, and I was still awake.
Go figure, that the biggest whip to crack is gonna have to be on my ass. Because here it is past midnight and yep, you guessed it I'm the only one awake.
There is a part of me that feels SO not ready for the lazy days of summer to end. In the summer I throw that whip out the window and let the Fab 4 stay up til all hours making memories. I personally feel, that's what the summer is all about. In fact,
I always think of the Billy Holiday(she's my fav) song Summertime when summer rolls around. But, as the school supply lists are being handed out, and I am at the bank taking out a loan to pay for it
I think about the fact that the nights will get longer, and the days will get shorter.
I try to soak in the Vitamin D while I can and sit outside as much as possible. Because come October, The "living will no longer be easy" and "the fish won't be jumping". Sigh.. Which makes my mind jump immediately to... HURRY QUICK... I have to buy one last watermelon and have one last EPIC BBQ to mark the occasion.
Speaking of the word EPIC...
Apparently,
I didn't make the summer as EPIC as I could have in my children's eyes. And I quote Isaiah, aka Zed, aka my baby, aka my 8 year old boy, "Mom I can't believe the summer is already over. It was SO not Epic" First of all where did this kid come from? Second... Can I get a witness that if you didn't take your kids to Disneyland or some kind of amusement park, or just some where other than your local beach it was NOT EPIC to them?!?! He must have forgotten that we bought a ba-zillion fireworks on the Fourth, went to a couple Mariners games, had Summer Little League baseball games 4 nights out of the week, Swim Lessons, visits from all kinds of beloved friends and family,camped, made smores right outside our doorstep...But still... NOT EPIC. So I say, "What will you tell your teachers when they ask what was your favorite thing about your summer?" And I shutter to hear the very honest answer. From the mouths of babes people, comes... well... their truth.
Can I also get a witness that sometimes it's hard to hear our children's truth, and sometimes it's just downright funny ?
On this particular occasion it was funny because well The Fab 4 all chimed in, and they all have a very varied view(ha ha say that 5 times fast) of what an Epic summer should look like.
In Other News...
I have begun to really long for the schedule, the routine that is the END of summer.
I have already started bringing out all my apple decor in the spirit of back to school days.
I start stocking up on pumpkin spice everything. I literally almost fell over with complete and utter joy from the smell of a pumpkin spice candle at the grocery store the other day.
I start to get giddy with excitement about the fact that my favorite season is right around the corner.
And I bid this summer a do which despite my children's description was, "SO NOT EPIC!" Who needs Epic anyways? Was your summer Epic? Please do tell what did you get to do this summer that my children would be jealous of. *Oh and let it go on record, I don't really have a whip, maybe some COOL whip ;)
Although my favorite season is right around the corner, I am sad to say goodbye to this summer.
Here in Seattle it feels as if the summer is just getting started because the weather has finally got the memo that summer generally means warm and sunny.
Maybe I am so nostalgic about this summer coming to an end because the very special event of my sisters wedding took place June 25, 2011.
Or maybe I am sad to see it go because it means that now a new school year has begun for my kids, and that means they are getting older, and that therefore means I am getting older.
What ever the reason this was an amazing summer and I am so grateful for all the fantastic memories that were made.
I am looking forward to the year ahead. I hope as you are saying goodbye to summer you are feeling the same way, grateful for the summers memories and excited about the new year.
Today was an absolute perfect Fall day here in Northern Nevada. I love this time of year so much that I when it starts coming around my heart almost skips a beat in anticipation.
I am not sure if it is the smell of pumpkin candles, the candy corns that are one of my favorites, or just the amazing colors that the trees turn that takes my breath away. Whatever the reason, every year I think I fall more and more in love with this season.
Today I had the thought that I might miss the falls here as compared to the fall season in Washington. It's so hard not knowing exactly what to expect. I am sure there will be slight differences but I am expecting that it will be just as grand as it is here. One thing I have to give credit to Nevada for, and that I have always loved about Northern NV is that we do get a full dose of every single season. Sometimes they are extreme but for the most part they are the typical seasons protocol. I wonder if that will be the same in Washington? It's not that I want it to be the same in Washington it's just some things kind of anchor you as a person. You get used to things being a certain way.
I have never felt more ready in my life for this big change, but now that it is finally here, I am a bit weepy about it all. Strange, but true.
I feel prepared but at the same time overwhelmed if that is at all possible to feel together.
I asked Moses the other day if he was getting excited about getting up there and his response was perfect; "Yeah, that's one of the emotions that is in there."
Okay so here is the song that comes to mind with this thought process
Lyrics go like this;
Seasons change...
People change...
You guess the rest??
Pictures were taken last fall underneath my tree. I would say that I might miss that tree but where I am going is tree country and I will have 5 acres of them :) to enjoy.
I am going to have a really hard time getting back into the school schedule. The kids and I have been staying up so late that come Aug 25th I am getting worried our bodies will go into shock being on real time.
Every summer it is my goal , my passion to de-program my children from all things school and work and so far it has been working out pretty well. I do believe that this summer's deprograming has been quite a success. We all stay up til at least 11 and sleep in sometimes until 11 the next day. This has been one of the greatest things about being able to be home with the kids because we just go on our own time. We eat when we want, sleep when we want , and wake up when we want. It really doesn't get any better.
But- every summer there comes a time right about now that I know have to start reeling in the troops. So last night and tonight it was my goal to get us all back on a better schedule. It didn't go so well. I am going to keep trying. Wish me luck.
Today while driving back from dropping my girls off at school I was just completely in awe of how faithfully around this time of year the green begins to appear. The leaves on the trees start bursting forth like a brand new thing is beginning. The sprinklers that were out on the lawns and the people chatting with their neighbors made me truly grateful once again for the seasons. It is amazing how this season, Spring, brings about a sense of new life. People begin to clean house like they haven't cleaned in many months and you see next to the garbage cans the things that they no longer want or need. Yard sale signs begin to appear because of this.Everything begins to take on a shine. Where life was dull and drab from the winter it begins to look bright and happy again. I am so glad that despite my temperament, that in many ways likes things to stay the same, God continues to make the seasons change. He is beyond good to faithfully make the seasons change and today on this beautiful Friday morning I am just completely aware of why I love Him so much.
I really do love this time of year. I know that I said that last month when the fall weather came around but I guess I have learned to love every season of life as it comes. Ya right!! Psshh, changing seasons in life has got to be one of the biggest challenges for me. I really don't embrace change all that well. Once change has taken place and is now currently the present then I am okay with it, but during the changing process I have a tough time. I must say though, over the years it has gotten easier. Anyway, I am way off track on this blog that really doesn't have a track to begin with but I will try to walk at least alongside the track of "this time of year" and by that I mean not the weather but the holidays. I am enjoying the excitement that is in the air for my children and I remember oh so well this same excitement when I was a child. I can hardly believe that I am not the child but the parent , okay there I go getting off track again. I just celebrated my 32nd birthday of which my mother reminded me that I was supposed to be born on Christmas day but much to her surprise I came a week early. Turning 32 I must say not a big deal, and there I go again off track. So back to Christmas and why I love this holiday..... Christmas has become a holiday that has so many meanings it is hard to just nail it down to "The Real Reason for the Season" or something cliche like that. It has morphed into a very different holiday then just celebrating Jesus birth of which didn't really even occur during this time anyway so why , oh why do we try to deem it the Real reason for the season? Again off track. I think that one of the reasons Christmas is such a special time of year universally is because it is one of the main times in a year that you really do think about other people instead of just you and yours. I know for myself sending out our Christmas cards is not just so that I will get them in return(although , to be honest that is a big reason) but it is also because I like to really think about each and every person that I give one to. I wonder what thier year has been like and how they have grown or changed. I think about what an impact that they have had on me in my life all year long and for some it is just comforting to know that they are still there. I am reminded every year around this time that my life is rich not with material possesions but with people who are truly amazing. I won't attempt to put a tag on this season for what it really means because we all know that it means so much to so many but to me it really is a time when I like to hear from, see, and cherish the true gifts that God has given me, the people that I call my friends and family. That being said, If you are reading this then I want you to know that I wish you a very Merry Christmas and please know that you are loved. Noel
Today has got to be one of the most beautiful days I have ever seen in Nevada. The explosions of color that are happening on every tree around here is amazing. I drive by these trees so much slower just to take it all in. By next week, the trees will mostly all be barren and empty and the weather will get very, very chilly. Right now though , once again I am amazed by The Creator, and how year after beautiful year He produces such awesome beauty for His kids to enjoy. You couldn't paint these colors even if you tried. I made a carrot cake with maple cream cheese frosting, lit candles that smell like fall, and hung out with some beautiful brand new moms while our babies fell asleep in our laps (probably from our non-stop chatter) the leaves fell off the trees right outside my window and I thought, what a gorgoues fall morning. I couldn't ask for better ingredients in life. Good company, Good food, Good scenery, and a very Good God who knows my name and made explosions in the sky just for me.
I am so happy that fall is finally here. This is my favorite time of year. Today was a perfect weather day in my opinion. I sat outside and the air was cool but the sun was warm and it made me thankful for season changes. I might not like other changes so much but the season changing is something that I can really enjoy. One thing that I will give credit to Nevada for is the fact that we get a pretty good dose of every season. That's about all that I can say that is positive regarding the state of Nevada. More times than not I wonder why I live in this state, but that is a topic for another blog on another day. Every year when the leaves start to change it makes me remember that changes are good.
Thankful for the change in the seasons. Seems my brain is busting with new ideas and I don't know if it's the nice weather or what but I can hardly even keep up with the excitement in my own head. Does anybody else ever experience that or am I on my own here? It's like when you go to do some spring cleaning and one thing leads to another and before you know you have rearranged the room. I feel like thats what happening on the inside of my head. Thank God for the change of scenery.
