Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Last Friday Night

Last Friday the family and I , headed down to Cartoon City to Gramma Ellen's house for a birthday party for my Uncle Gene and brother Jeremy. We arrived at her house to be greeted by the smell of garlic bread, spaghetti and meatballs, and lots of laughter. So far so good. Gina and Iz were there , Uncle Gene and my Aunt Linda, Uncle Frank and Barbara, mom, dad, Jeremy, Jessie(a current resident at mom's who sleeps on the couch even though they have 8 bedrooms) and of course no party would be complete at my mom's house without some of her friendly neighborhood. So the house is packed and there are still more guests to come. We were all enjoying each others company when in walks my Aunt Joan with her step daughter Janet. No Uncle Mal with them but she said he was coming later. No funny business so far from her(ya never know with her what you are gonna get, isn't there always one in every family) Again we are relaxing and enjoying this time together when in comes Uncle Mal. Now, finally the party company is complete ....but wait .....what's this? Shortly after Mal arrived my mom was ready to begin the cake ceremonies and just as she is starting to make this announcement My Aunt Joan shouts, "Wait everyone Pastor S. is here!!". (I will from this point on protect the names of Pastor S. Son B. and the product MV.) True to form, from our old Catholic days my Aunt Joan starts making a very big deal that Pastor S. is here and that we should all take note. Kiss his ring, Stand up and salute or something, umm...no thanks.We are a gracious family and we welcomed Pastor S. and Son B. in and he came right up to Mo and myself, kinda almost manic like, and asked if we wanted to join him on his next trip to Africa, where he and my old Pastor Tom were recently held by gunpoint in the Conga and robbed for 400 bucks. Ummm...let me think about that Pastor S....... ummm...I'm gonna go with NO!!!
Anyhew, there quickly becomes whispers that we are now going to give Uncle Gene his b-day gifts. At this point I am wondering why Pastor S. and Son B. are there. Are they going to pray for Uncle Gene a b-day blessing ? Are they just getting friendly with parishiners and making house calls now? Still, no idea why they are there but ,okay bust out the presents... wait...what my Aunt Joan meant to say is that Pastor S. and Son B. are now going to give us an infomercial for the product MV. that they are selling and we will all have to sit for the next 30minutes of our lives and listen to this load of crock about MV being the best product on the planet mixed in with hyper spiritual crap about God and basically... at the end of it all my face must have shown the shock and awe of this inappropriate person who just totally ruined my Uncles 65th b-day party and my brothers 16 b-day party. I so wish that I would have taken a cue from hubbie and bro -in law Izzy and walked out because dag-nab it I want those minutes back from my life. The only saving grace for me was that I was sitting right next to my highly sarcastic Dad(God Bless Him) and he was cracking me right up. Needless to say the family drama between my mom and her sister continues to whole new level here people.

So yeah, this paints the picture of what was one of the most uncomfortable social situations I have ever encountered in MY LIFE. What did you do last Friday night?

15 comments:

David said...

What a bunch of hucksters.

I would have seen that as a perfect opportunity to make sure those people know they shouldn't feel comfortable when approaching me.

digapigmy said...

i would have used it as an example of why i don't think homosexuals should be allowed to adopt.

noel said...

david- yeah, they are hucksters alright. your sister reminded me that they were doing the same thing at bethany's wedding. i had forgot about that. she said they must really need to feed thier kids these days. really so sad.
brent- you make me laugh. :)

laura said...

wow! and I thought my family was weird...

Jeni said...

MV? I think I know this product-- I think my mom's best friend has some family member's selling this product and trying to get the whole family to follow suit...

And it sounds like next to your dad was the best place to be if you had to be there at all... I probably would not be as nice as your family. I would do two things:
1) Kindly ask the solicitors to leave and sell their crazy juice on their own turf.
2) Advise the aunt that she would no longer be welcome at family affairs if she's going to steal the focus from the guest(s) of honor.

But that's just me... I'm kind of a jerk...

slogoin' vws said...

we spent the evening building our new mountain bikes!

scoey-d said...

I'm sorry. Kinda speechless.

Random ponderings: In the last couple of years, I've decided (& practiced) that I don't want to make an excuse anymore for people that are related to me by blood, marriage, etc. If I wouldn't take the behavior from another person, being 'family' doesn't allow others to violate...

It's tough to 'uninvite' someone that another person has invited - esp. when it's not at your house.

And it's in Jesus name?!...

Erica said...

Sad, Noel, cause I know about that product and have been approached about using it from the same people...pathetic.

That would have been a very uncomfortable situation

Erica said...

ooh...a way to cut their presentation short would be to ask for the cost of a month supply of this stuff first. They would've lost their audience immediately.

Make a house payment or buy this stuff.

noel said...

laura- you don't know the half of it. this particular aunt has always been a source of sadness, anger, confusion, and other such emotions that really make it hard to be around her anymore.
jeni- yes, there has only been one time my mom ever kicked somebody out of her house, again she is the woman who would make an excuse for the devil himself. and this is her sisters doing, her only sister. i don't blame the guest for anything but just not being very observant of thier surroundings.
tasha- LUCKY!!
louie- i hear ya on this one. this particular aunt is not invited to quite a bit because of this. very sad to me.
erica- I am SORRY, don't you wish you could get that time back?

Jen in Budapest said...

is this my family?!?!!Even though it would be a mean punchline right now to say "that's why I live in Budapest" it's not at all true. I am not living in Budapest to escape the stranger people in my family.But for awkwardness and moments like this, I sure am glad to escape :D Sorry Noel and Mo that you and the Guzmans bare the brunt of it.

All I have to say is I would have told Aunt J her business. Absolutely, hands down I would have told her how wrong that was. Sorry. I just would have done that and told her that she invited P.S. under false pretenses. I bet the guy didn't even know he was coming to a 65th and 16th party. Crazy. GRRRH. I'm mad.

scoey-d said...

Jen - I bet PS did know. But that's just because I hang out with too many P's. And am a bit of a conspiracy theorist. :)

noel said...

yes jen- i think we were all suffering from a bit of shock and ahh and the whole fish mouth was going on. i just took a gracious cue from uncle gene and aunt linda and kept my mouth shut.
anyway, i am sure that there were words with her later from mom and others or maybe not. maybe like i said they are so totally used to this behavior and have given up on trying to help her see the light.

noel said...

oh yes, p.s. did know. he came in saying who is the birthday boy that we get to bless.

Destro Jones said...

Too top it off I'll bet his Jesus Juice tasted like butt.

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