Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I am emotionally exhausted

I am so tired and emotionally exhausted that I don't even know where to begin.
All in a month, here are the Bullet points of my life in May-

- Emma's field trip, where I met 9year old friend Alex
-Marathon, where Emma won 3rd place in her age group for finishing this 13 mile jaunt.
-Sol's field trip which dad attended
-Mother's Day, celebrated with my own Mom and sister Gina "bo bean a "being a mom for the first time.
-Niece 19th B-day, did I mention she is also now 3 months pregnant
-Chloe's 8th B-day , where no friends came and I had to call an emergency back up friend to bring her 3 girls
-Brother's girlfriends graduation
-Very close friends Dre's B-day, she's moving back to Oregon, did I mention I want to go
-Bug O Rama, where we celebrated our anniversary of 13 years marriage
-Sue's death and funeral
-Emma's B-day, where we found out above mentioned friend Alex was found tragically dead the night before
-Same day as above, Sol's Kindergarten Graduation
-Other close friend in Washington, Jentry had healthy twin baby girls manes Chloe and Bryn
-Chloe's field trip to the Animal Ark kept thinking back to Emma's field trip where I last saw Alex.
-Other close friend in Texas, Allie is still making life and death decisions for her oldest daughter Mollie, did I mention that everytime I think of this I cry, did I also mention that I wish I could telaport myself every night to help her get dinner on the table for her and 5 children.
-And finally today June 3rd 13 years later after marrying the man that I love I attended probably the saddest event, Alex's funeral, did I mention he was only 9 years old and didn't even get to make it to double digits.
I am sure I have forgotten other details both good and bad.
Spoke with a friend this morning about living in the moment. At this moment I am exhausted emotionally and although summer begins for us tomorrow I feel like crawling in my bed , pulling the covers up over my head and not coming out for a while.
Pray for Me for I have yet to learn this secret-
"I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens." Phil 4:12


Erica said...

oh Noel, I was here and hear how emotionally exhausted you are

laura said...

Hi Noel, I am so sorry to hear you had such a draining month. I will keep you in my prayers. What happened with that little boy broke my heart, and Chloe's birthday, so sad:(

Jeni said...

You are not the only one who has yet to learn that message. It sounds like a completely exhausting month. Just know that you are a beautiful and encouraging friend and your children are a blessing to every person that they meet (just like you!).

I'll be praying for some relaxation and peace for you, and if you ever need a night off just to hang out with another adult, I'm free to hang out, but I'm also free to watch the kiddos so you can have some time with T MO! :)

noel said...

erica- good to know i am not alone
laura-thank you for the prayers, yeah the funny thing about both em and chloe they are fine. i am the one still moping with all the emotions. kids are amazing.
jeni- i will take you up on both dates. a date with you would be fantastic and i know for sure that my kiddos would love if i left them all in exchange for JENI!!! they love you too, as do i.

digapigmy said...

kids are resilient. at what point does no one showing up to your birthday party bother you? maybe when all your friends are old enough to drive themselves and just don't show up . . .

digapigmy said...

i don't know if i could handle a funeral for a nine year old. i also attended two funerals last week. it was emotionally draining. two cancer victims who were way too young.

slogoin' vws said...

i'm going to call you in the next few days...

noel said...

brent- no one coming to your b-day just never is okay. ever. it was really sad and i totally overcompensated by buying her the whole fricken build o bear shop!!
really sorry to hear about your friends funerals. death is never easy no matter what the age or circumstance but somehow under 18 just seems like the worst ever.

tasha- i will be waiting.

Jen in Budapest said...

Noel, I'm so sorry. Sucks!

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