Change

The kids are still sleeping and it is almost 9:30a.m. Oh, how I love the summer. More quiet time for me. This morning I woke with alot of mixed emotions. Change, big change is on the horizon for me and my family and those of you who know me know that change is not one of my favorite words in the dictionary, nor is it a favorite action of mine either.
I easily get overwhelmed with even little changes. Like when Mo wants to change furniture around, which he does on a regular basis, I start freaking out and whining that I like things where they are and why do you always have to go and mess with stuff. Then, of course, when it's all said and done I love the changes. I am not a visionary and can hardly see past the hour for what to do next. If it were not for my God, hubby, family, and friends who are visionaries I would still be in the same place I was when I was born. Right by mom's side:)
But with big changes somehow God's peace that surpasses all understanding seems to always kick in to high gear and I feel calm. That is where I am at right now. Every now and again my flesh will kick up and try to move things along quicker than God's hand but in the end if I just sit tight and watch God manifests some pretty amazing stuff right before my eyes. That is what I am seeing right now.
I woke yesterday to read this scripture, Ps 127:1-2.
It talks about God being the builder of my house or life if you will. I believe this to be true. He has always built pretty well before for me, why would I want to take that job from him now? I don't want to. I trust that whatever lies ahead for us will be good.

Same Sex Marriages and other Topics

My friend, Laura got my brain a-goin in an area where she as a nurse didn't think the government should be involved in when she posted about Suicide attempts and how they get put on legal holds and then cause all of us tax payers to provide guardianship by way of Johnny-Law for the next 48hours. I don't think this is right either Laura. Wish I knew how to put the link to your blogspot here but I don't so here is where you can read hers;
laura-welcometomyworld.blogspot.com

But, another area where the government is just spinning it's wheels is the whole area of same sex marriages. Why are we involved in this? As a government we should not be saying who should be able to marry who? We should not determine who gets to stand by someones bedside when they are dying or who will get all the legal rights to decide this person's lives work when we don't even know them. Give homosexuals the right to marry already!
Another area where I think the government has got it all wrong is how we treat criminals of repeat offenses. Seriously, the crime in this nation is high for a reason...cause we are pansies when it comes to punishment. We should take a note from other countries and get a backbone when it comes to the judicial area of crime and punishment.
Just some Saturday eve thoughts. What are yours?

Cleaning House

Have I ever mentioned how much I detest house work. Well, I do. If I could have a person to do this job I would. I mean I have 4 persons that could do some of these jobs but they just don't get it really done, if you know what I mean. Well, today, before leaving for a long camping trip I told kids that their rooms needed to be clean before we could leave to go anywhere. I have a feeling I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. These kind of days usually don't end very well. Pray for me.

Children's Books

I have successfully submitted my ideas for a characther I created a few months ago that will be in a series for my children's books. I am excited about the fact that I am going public with some of the ideas that have been rolling around in my head for a long time. I also have to say that this process was so incredibly easy and practically fell into my lap. I have a freind who's cousin is an agent to authors and this was a hook up that gave me some great advice and a few heads up on ways to go and what to avoid. I will let you all know if anything comes of it. If you soon see Brodey the Bishop on your children's scholastic book order just know that it is a really great read(for your 3-6year old) and you should buy it !!!

A few days in the life of ME

What a weekend. It started with a going away party for my friends David and Andre who are leaving for Oregon, well one already left , other half leaves next Monday. The party was so much fun that we didn't get home til 2 am. Debated spending the night right there on the lawn but then in the end we wanted our own beds. Dre's brother Leif is a party in a box. He brought bounce house, Wii, and a HUGE bounce house type screen to make this send off oh so special and it was. I love this family that has been in our lives in such a special way since I was a teen. Our parents are friends and the way God has intertwined our lives is really sometimes so strange and at the same time awesome to me. I will miss them. I know many people teased that they would be back but I have a feeling the permanence this time is going to be a bit more than in times past.
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After getting home at 2 am and getting up for worship practice that was at 9a I thought I would be tired but I wasn't. It was then time for niece Savy's first birthday party. What a treat. She almost fell asleep while eating her birthday cake poor thing. We saw an old friend of sister Gina's there, Camille and she said that our old neighbor Bob has passed away. Bob used to bring us vegetables all the time when we lived in Carson City in our very first home that we ever owned. He was a really neat old guy. Time is strange. Sometimes I wish it would stand still for a moment to take it all in. I can hardly believe that Savy is 1 year. To be an auntie is the coolest. It was so fun to buy birthday presents for her. Then it was time to head home for some much needed nappy time. Boy howdy, did I ever sleep good.
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Sunday morning, had a moment or two of reflection to say the least and almost lost it during worship but I knew more tears would come later. Feeling emotional about alot lately. God has been so good to me and my family and I can't thank Him enough. Truly He is my source of strength.
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Sunday afternoon Moses worked on our bikes all day and we finally took a bike trip all together. WOW, what a treat that was. At one point we were crossing a busy intersection and lil man Zed was slow goin' to say the least, cars were piling up and we were getting nervous, just then somebody shouted "Come on lil buddy you can do it!!" You should have seen the smile on his face. What a treat.
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Sunday evening was spent with great friends enjoying the finer things in life, good wine, great bbq steaks, and really good conversations. Again I serve an awesome God who has not only provided well in health and wealth but in friendships as well.
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I slept in this morning and then headed up to the Lake with kiddos and my friends kiddos. It was a beautiful day. The smoke cleared by mid afternoon and it was absolutely gorgeous by the end of the day.
Tomorrow it's off to Wallies Hot Springs for some swimming and more sun.
Man, I have a hard job!!

Book Review , Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli

This is a tiny little book that I picked up because it was mentioned I think in Generous Orthodoxy. The title grabbed my attention right away, and it did not disappoint. The author Michael Yaconelli, was tragically killed in a car accident in 2003 and the foreword written by his wife in the beginning is enough to pull you in. I will share some of my favorite quotes and you can decide what you think.

"What landed Jesus on the cross was the preposterous idea that common, ordinary, broken, screwed-up people could be godly! What drove Jesus' enemies crazy were his criticisms of the "perfect" religious people and his acceptance of the imperfect nonreligious people. The shocking implication of Jesus' ministry is that anyone can be spiritual."

"Messy spirituality describes our godly incompetence. No one does holy living very well. Spirituality is the humiliating recognition that I don't know how to pray well. I don't understand God's word or know how to navigate it properly, and I don't know how to competently live out my commitment to Christ. Messy spirituality affirms our spiritual clumsiness."

Toward the end of the book in a chapter entitled Little Graces he shares one of the coolest war stories I have ever heard. I literally had to call Moses mid-day to share this one. After I wiped away the tears, I was so excited like it happened just moments ago.
It was about 2 British air pilots that in World War II were conducting bombing raids over Berlin. One night after a successful bombing raid, as they were headed for the safety of England, the bombers were attacked by a large group of German fighter planes. They saw tracers from these planes come at them in slow motion and watched hopelessly as they hit the back of their plane right in the gas tank. They prepared for an explosion after the thud sound of five bullets hit hard but nothing happened. Back at the base safe in the barracks the mechanic came in with bullets in hand and said they were all empty of gun powder. Inside one was a tiny wad of paper with a note that read, " We are Polish POW's - forced to make bullets in factory. When guards do not look, we do not fill with powder. Is not much, but is best we can do. Please tell family we are alive." The note was signed by four Polish prisoners of war. He goes on to say , "The power of goodness is found in the tiny. Since the beginning. God has chosen tiny over large: David over Goliath, Gideon and his three hundred soldiers over thousands of Midianites, Elijah over the prophets of Baal, one sheep over ninety-nine. Spirituality is about doing the tiny work of God, little acts, small responses to God's presence in our lives."
*Or how about coming as a helpless tiny infant to save the whole world.
**And I would add to that doing those tiny acts on a very daily basis. It is looking, listening, waiting , for an opportunity to make someones life better just because.

It was a great book. Michael sounded like a really cool guy and he captures in this book what I think alot of us need to hear. We are all in process, screwed up, and loved beyond measure at the same time. What a life we live with this thing called Spirituality.

Learn from me

Disclaimer- Long Post Ahead

"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. " Matt. 11:28-30

This scripture was on my desk calendar today and I thought I would share it. It is a scripture that I have framed and hangs in my house because it is one that I need to be reminded of on a daily basis. Not to worry, not to be anxious, to come to Him, to take His yoke. So the break down of that is this for me.

Come to me- Every day set time aside to visit with Him. This first request is so simple. I don't need to do anything but come and He said if I do this rest will come. I need that. This no longer looks like going into a closet and hiding from the rest of the world for 2hours with my bible and highlighter in hand. This looks like well....different everyday. No formula there, just come to Him everyday. Like I would a great friend, who lived right next door , who is not mobile, and who's only request is that I visit daily. Only Jesus is not right next door, he's within and I guess that makes Him mobile. You get the idea.

Take my yoke upon you- Now this one confused me for a long time until I learned what a yoke was. Not an egg yoke but a yoke for cattle. They used to yoke two cattle together I believe to pull more weight around. It was a heavy piece of equipment that landed right on top of the cows necks. I think made out of wood and to me always looked more like that thing that would hold a person in place right before they got their head chopped off (I digress) Anyway, the two would be joined together, and be lead around as only dumb cows should be. So Jesus says take His yoke. Do you think he is under that yoke with you? Is He the other cow that will walk along side you making it easier. Hope that doesn't sound sacreligous ,but I believe He is and He does. I think He stands a little taller so the yoke doesn't even touch my neck and He pulls the weight of the world around for me IF, and this a big one , IF I let Him. I often times stand up thinking , "Don't worry Jesus I got this" and I DON'T!! Why would I ever want to carry the yoke? But I do , sometimes I forget it's not my job. I am thankful for this reminder, it's not my job to carry the yoke.

Learn from me- This is where I have to read and read some more to learn from Him. I have to dissect the scriptures and look to every social circumstance that Jesus was ever in and stop, SELAH as the bible would say. I can't read these interactions with a "Sunday school, heard it all before" attitude I have to read with new eyes. Eyes that see Jesus as my friend who lived long ago and has something very important for me to learn. Like the treasure hunters on National Treasure 1 and 2( both amazing movies, if you haven't seen them you need to) again I digress. Do I learn from him with as much excitement as those treasure hunters? Everyday looking for more clues in the bible of who this Man/God is? NO, sadly I don't. God forgive me.
Why do I run from you? Why do I hide or try to hide as though you couldn't find me or as though YOU could ever lose something?
YOU ARE HUMBLE
YOU ARE GENTLE
To me and in my heart you have never broken, hurt, or wounded me. I love you for this.

Today is my niece Savanah's 1st Birthday and I am thinking about the life of a child when I read this. It is hard to be like children again once you've grown and gained so much knowledge but I do believe that is what is required to be able to follow Christ in the easy fashion that He is speaking of above. To trust Him despite what the world around you may look like. I think of my own babies when we would be put in a scary situation to them; like somewhere with loud music, or flying on an airplane, or even just somewhere that they could hear other babies crying, they would look to me or Mo to see what expression was on our faces and if we were okay they were okay. I want to be like that. I want to learn from Jesus. He is so humble and gentle in His teaching. He is not like anyone else in this world. He is the friend that has stuck closer than a brother. I have not been good to Him and still He forgives me. I want to be a better friend and follower of Christ. I want to learn so much more from Him.

If you read this you have just gone along for a bible study with Noel trip. Hope you enjoyed your journey exit to the left.

Happy Father's Day

I spent the greater part of the evening with my Dad. His older brother's Bob and Dick are in town and to see them all together is always a treat. When these three get together it is quite entertaining in a good way. Not in the way my mom's family is entertaining which is not always in a good way. Case in point refer to blog below , Last Friday night. Anyhew, not the topic of this blog. What I wanted to talk about is my dad. A man who spent the great portion of his life being a radio announcer or DJ or whatever you wanna call it and now is getting ready to retire from being a grocery store clerk. My dad loves jazz music and all things sports related. Tonight there was a Basketball game on that bro-in law Izzy was very interested in. My mom took offense to the fact that he wasn't rooting for Boston but I am not a basketball fan , although I did take stats for the boys b-ball team in High School . It really never stuck. I can appreciate any good game though and tonight was a nail biter. Needless to say my dad was rooting for the Lakers because unlike my mom he detests all things Boston(not really it's just this funny passive agressive thing they have had going for many years). So funny those two. So there they sat, Izzy and my Dad glued to the television. It was so enjoyable to hear the two of them get quite excited.

I love my dad. I love that he loves sports. I love that he has loved my mom for 38 years and counting. I love that although he is not perfect by any means he's still trying. Always committed to getting better at his roles in life.

Father in laws are also on the list of the Dad's I love. Over the 13 years of marriage I have come to appreciate them both.

Mo's dad Rusty gives me a greater insight to the man I married than probably anyone else around and he is the amazing Bionic man. With so many surgeries I can't even tell you, He never and I do mean never complains. He is amazingly strong and I love him.

His step dad Tom also an incredible man that keeps his mom happy. Which what more could you ask for there, right?

Anyway, if I didn't get to tell you myself today, Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there. I hope you spent it in good company and with lots of love.

IPOD organizing

Yesterday I spent the greater part of the day organizing my music on my IPOD. It was tedious but at the same time alot of fun. I kinda turned it into a game of "name that tune" when I got down to all the un-named tracks. I would play the song and then try and guess who it was. I had alot of burned music on there , which I know my recording artist friends and family would probably not approve of but whatever. To that topic I just say, if you can record an album you have enough money already and chances are you will keep making money if you are good enough and if your not nobody wants to hear you anyways. Is that a little harsh? What are your thoughts on pirating music? You now have mine. Back to the topic at hand, my music. Music to me is so amazing. I love how a song can come on and completely change the mood in the room. As much as I get alot of crap for the music I listen to from my very own Mr. Big, I really do enjoy all genres. Except for maybe the stuff that makes you want to murder the closet living breathing thing next to you because of all the noise coming out of the speakers that I wouldn't really call music, I just call that noise. I really don't have a name for that genre of music except maybe murder music. My all time favorite sounds though I would have to say either come from Billy Holiday or well....yeah just Billy. I love listening to Billy. She has a voice no one will ever have. I have heard before from Mr. Big why she has that voice and that I could have one too if I did drugs , drank, and smoked alot but really her voice is so unique and it just puts a smile on my face. Speaking of other Billy sounds that I like there is Billy Joel of course he is an all time favorite and then someone who will be in concert here in Reno at the end of month Billy Idol. I would totally go see and old man Billy Idol in concert but alas , we will be camping. IF you could only pick one sound to listen to , who would it be?

Last Friday Night

Last Friday the family and I , headed down to Cartoon City to Gramma Ellen's house for a birthday party for my Uncle Gene and brother Jeremy. We arrived at her house to be greeted by the smell of garlic bread, spaghetti and meatballs, and lots of laughter. So far so good. Gina and Iz were there , Uncle Gene and my Aunt Linda, Uncle Frank and Barbara, mom, dad, Jeremy, Jessie(a current resident at mom's who sleeps on the couch even though they have 8 bedrooms) and of course no party would be complete at my mom's house without some of her friendly neighborhood. So the house is packed and there are still more guests to come. We were all enjoying each others company when in walks my Aunt Joan with her step daughter Janet. No Uncle Mal with them but she said he was coming later. No funny business so far from her(ya never know with her what you are gonna get, isn't there always one in every family) Again we are relaxing and enjoying this time together when in comes Uncle Mal. Now, finally the party company is complete ....but wait .....what's this? Shortly after Mal arrived my mom was ready to begin the cake ceremonies and just as she is starting to make this announcement My Aunt Joan shouts, "Wait everyone Pastor S. is here!!". (I will from this point on protect the names of Pastor S. Son B. and the product MV.) True to form, from our old Catholic days my Aunt Joan starts making a very big deal that Pastor S. is here and that we should all take note. Kiss his ring, Stand up and salute or something, umm...no thanks.We are a gracious family and we welcomed Pastor S. and Son B. in and he came right up to Mo and myself, kinda almost manic like, and asked if we wanted to join him on his next trip to Africa, where he and my old Pastor Tom were recently held by gunpoint in the Conga and robbed for 400 bucks. Ummm...let me think about that Pastor S....... ummm...I'm gonna go with NO!!!
Anyhew, there quickly becomes whispers that we are now going to give Uncle Gene his b-day gifts. At this point I am wondering why Pastor S. and Son B. are there. Are they going to pray for Uncle Gene a b-day blessing ? Are they just getting friendly with parishiners and making house calls now? Still, no idea why they are there but ,okay bust out the presents... wait...what my Aunt Joan meant to say is that Pastor S. and Son B. are now going to give us an infomercial for the product MV. that they are selling and we will all have to sit for the next 30minutes of our lives and listen to this load of crock about MV being the best product on the planet mixed in with hyper spiritual crap about God and basically... at the end of it all my face must have shown the shock and awe of this inappropriate person who just totally ruined my Uncles 65th b-day party and my brothers 16 b-day party. I so wish that I would have taken a cue from hubbie and bro -in law Izzy and walked out because dag-nab it I want those minutes back from my life. The only saving grace for me was that I was sitting right next to my highly sarcastic Dad(God Bless Him) and he was cracking me right up. Needless to say the family drama between my mom and her sister continues to whole new level here people.

So yeah, this paints the picture of what was one of the most uncomfortable social situations I have ever encountered in MY LIFE. What did you do last Friday night?

A Great way to Start the Summer

I spent the day at Lake Tahoe. Me and the four kids and good friends Christene and Benat kicked off the summer at Lake Tahoe today. We chose to sun bathe at Sand Harbor where nearby they were setting up for Shakespeare on The Lake. Mo and I used to go to Shakespeare on the Lake every summer for the first few years of dating and then some. I think I want to go this summer. Any takers? That is a side note to this blog, what I really want to say is that I love Lake Tahoe. I love sun bathing. I love even the feeling of being a lil sun kissed, I never get sun-burned but sun-kissed warm and cozy feeling I love. I love watching my kids run around on the beach. I love how Isaiah makes friends with everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE on the beach front. I love how great it feels to take a shower after sitting in the sand. I love this life. I am so glad summer is here.

For Auntie Jenny

I do believe this one of Solomon will be added to my hall of fame for all time favorites. I think it shows off his big kid teeth pretty good. The one of Emma I think will show her new doo pretty well. She has got an attitude to go with it, wish you could see that Jen but it will have to wait. You are lucky I caught her smiling. Normally her face is a roll of the eyes and kinda sour(just kidding kinda ).Chloe's shirt demonstrates what she is in our lives for, Cutie Patrol. And finally, Zed- what more needs to be said. Hope you enjoy Auntie, this blogs for you. I love you so much and miss ya something fierce.

Good News!!

My wort is finally going away. The duct tape didn't' end up being the cure all and so I switched to a more expensive method of wort remover from Dr. Scholl's, I think that's how you spell it. Anyways, I am glad it is finally vanishing and not hurting nearly as much. Just in time for me to start some serious training with my new personal trainer, Sue Meredith.
For a while there I had sores on both my feet and let me tell you that it is not fun to have both feet out of commission. I lost a toenail on one and was dealing with the pain of the Plantar wort on the other and all I can say is that it is nice to have these ailments on the mend.
It's funny to me to blog about this stuff because in real life and the grander scheme of things they are a minimal irritation. I am however extremely grateful for the healing of both and I have high hopes that( despite the gloomy reports from others with Plantar warts) mine will not return.
Hope I didn't gross you out too much, can't be worse then the boys toilet bowl stories, right? Ben and Matty both take the cake on gross topics I believe.

I am emotionally exhausted

I am so tired and emotionally exhausted that I don't even know where to begin.
All in a month, here are the Bullet points of my life in May-

- Emma's field trip, where I met 9year old friend Alex
-Marathon, where Emma won 3rd place in her age group for finishing this 13 mile jaunt.
-Sol's field trip which dad attended
-Mother's Day, celebrated with my own Mom and sister Gina "bo bean a "being a mom for the first time.
-Niece 19th B-day, did I mention she is also now 3 months pregnant
-Chloe's 8th B-day , where no friends came and I had to call an emergency back up friend to bring her 3 girls
-Brother's girlfriends graduation
-Very close friends Dre's B-day, she's moving back to Oregon, did I mention I want to go
-Bug O Rama, where we celebrated our anniversary of 13 years marriage
-Sue's death and funeral
-Emma's B-day, where we found out above mentioned friend Alex was found tragically dead the night before
-Same day as above, Sol's Kindergarten Graduation
-Other close friend in Washington, Jentry had healthy twin baby girls manes Chloe and Bryn
-Chloe's field trip to the Animal Ark kept thinking back to Emma's field trip where I last saw Alex.
-Other close friend in Texas, Allie is still making life and death decisions for her oldest daughter Mollie, did I mention that everytime I think of this I cry, did I also mention that I wish I could telaport myself every night to help her get dinner on the table for her and 5 children.
-And finally today June 3rd 13 years later after marrying the man that I love I attended probably the saddest event, Alex's funeral, did I mention he was only 9 years old and didn't even get to make it to double digits.
I am sure I have forgotten other details both good and bad.
Spoke with a friend this morning about living in the moment. At this moment I am exhausted emotionally and although summer begins for us tomorrow I feel like crawling in my bed , pulling the covers up over my head and not coming out for a while.
Pray for Me for I have yet to learn this secret-
"I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens." Phil 4:12

What's so Amazing about Grace, by Philip Yancey

Finishing up reading What's so Amazing about Grace by Philip Yancey. This has been a really good and easy read for me up until chapter 13. This chapter entitled , Grace healed eyes had really struck a chord of sadness and confusion for me. In this chapter he talks about one of the biggest eye openers for grace in his life has been his friendship with a man named Mel White. Apparently, Mel White has written a book as well, Stranger at the Gate and was a ghost writer for many famous Christian authors. 5 years into their friendship Mel confessed to Philip that he is a homosexual and that he was no longer going to live the lie or facade of being a heterosexual with a wife and 2 children. He talks about the torture he had been through trying to change this about himself and then it talks about the back lash and hatred he was embraced with after coming out of the closet.
This book was written in the 90's so things have changed some in this area but not much. It just got me thinking about so much. How we as Christians can be the meanest , most hate filled judgemental a..holes to anyone who doesn't fit into our own comfortable box of what we deem acceptable human behavior.
It angers me that we treat people the way that this man was treated. God forgive me when I have been that a..hole! I pray I show grace and more grace in the future.
In this book Philip talks about the fact that Grace is what sets apart our belief system from any other. He says we are all Bastards but God loves us anyway and that is Grace in and of itself.
Here is my favorite segment from the book ,
"My study of Jesus life convinces me that whatever barriers we must overcome in treating "different" people cannot compare to what a holy God- who dwelled in the Most Holy Place, and whose presence caused fire and smoke to belch from mountaintops, bringing death to any unclean person who wandered near- overcame when he descended to join us on planet Earth.
A prostitute, a wealthy exploiter, a demon-possessed woman, a Roman soldier, a a Samaritan with running sores and another Samaritan with serial-husbands- I marvel that Jesus gained the reputation as being a "friend of sinners" like these. As Helmut Thielicke wrote:
Jesus gained the power to love harlots, bullies, and ruffians...he was able to do this only because he saw through the filth and crust of degeneration, because his eye caught the divine original which is hidden in every way- in every man! ... First and foremost he gives us new eyes.... "

This is the Jesus I think so many of us have forgotten. He hung out with sketchy people. He was a friend to these people. He calls me friend.
This is why I love Jesus. This is why I live for Him and only Him. This is why I am willing to give up my comfortable box for a bigger box that is much more beautiful than I could ever imagine. It doesn't always make sense to me but it is always so beautiful. So amazing, Jesus grace for me. I pray I extend more and more and more grace. I pray I don't ever take the seat of judgement instead of mercy and grace.