Livestrong

I have a yellow Livestrong bracelet on my wrist that I have been wearing for the past several weeks. It was given to me.

Every time I look at it I think what does that mean? So today, I am wondering what do you think those little yellow bracelet's mean? If you were to define a STRONG life what would it look like?

For me I think of every friend recently who has been touched by cancer in their life and I think about their bodies how tired and sore they must feel after chemo. I think about that and then it motivates me to shut up, and get up and get going!! It puts all my minor aches and pains into perspective. It also helps me to realize that this body that I have is a gift, on loan, and that I have been a terrible owner. I am thankful for this body that birthed 4 beautiful children and has lived through a lot in the past 34 years. 

Tell me what do you think it means to LIVESTRONG?

Good News, be it ever so small

Today while I was preparing to take some preschoolers out for play I found a ring I thought I had lost. I went to put my gloves on and there it was. I had been whining about losing this ring for weeks now. I had asked my kids to be looking around for it and I had just felt sick over losing it.

I bought this ring for myself at Genoa's Candy Dance a few years back and it was one of my most favorite rings. When I came home from grocery shopping a few weeks back I realized it was no longer on my finger and after retracing my steps I thought it must have fallen off at Winco or something and I was so bummed. 

But alas, all this time it was in my glove!! I was happy to say the least.

Then when I got home from picking up my kiddos today I was happy to see that my hubby got off work early and being as how I throughly enjoy that man's company and can never seem to get enough of it I was glad for the time together.

After that my treasure friend Allie called with some even more good news that only a friend like her could give me. (Those of you who know her, she did not tell me she was pregnant)

Finally, tonight while hanging out with hubby we got some very good news for him about his recent Ink career and all I have to say is that in this life when you are given good days like this you just have to take a moment and give a shout out to the giver of ALL good things.

Whoot woot!! or Hallelujah!! (which ever floats your boat)

Life sometimes really doesn't make sense

 I have one friend who is fighting for her life again for the fourth time against brain cancer and then on the other hand I have a friend who recently took her life by hanging herself in her garage. She left behind 2 daughters 12 and 9.  I have another friend who is at Standford right now with her daughter who is fighting against cancer. Another friend who has banked her whole financial life and world on her hubbies financial adventures. I have another friend who is struggling in a marriage that was built on lies. 

Jesus help them all please because you know all I can do is ask the impossible from you and be me in the meantime and I know I am not enough.

Processing

I have always had a tough time processing things quickly. Whether it's the news of a friend or some news on the Television, I take a long time to process things. I especially take a bit longer than that when something directly affects someone I deeply care for or even more time when something has happened to me personally. As I get older I am realizing that I have never done anything quickly, except maybe getting married. So it's not surprising to those of you who know me. Last year there were quite a lot of things that my brain just couldn't wrap around and understand and so I began to check out in a very unhealthy way. It was a rough year for pretty much everyone I know. In some way, shape, or form everyone I knew was having a tough time so again, my issues I didn't want to bother anyone else with or give them yet another problem that needed to be solved. So I got quiet, took lots of naps, and began to shut down. There were some friends who noticed even over the phone that I didn't sound the same. I am sure I needed to be on medication but because we didn't have insurance(still don't until Feb 11th) I haven't been to a doctor.

When I get upset my whole life ever since I can remember the way I deal with being really upset is to go to my nice, warm, comfy bed and take a long nap. It seems as though after a nice long nap everything gets better. That's how I process. Slowly with lots of naps. I also process things by cleaning, but that's usually just my M.O. when I am angry. If I get really angry I clean like a mad woman. Literally.  

I think the way we process life is so interesting. I know that my mom processes by talking. She loves to talk. She talks when she's nervous, happy, sad, angry. She's a talker. I know that my dad processes by going and listening to his music. He puts his headset on and listens away the day or night. 

I am wondering how do you process things?  I am also wondering can you change the way you process life? Is that just something that is part of our genetic makeup that can't be changed? I would really like to process a bit quicker. Maybe not stew on things for quite so long. It seems anytime I try to rush my processing department I have a major malfunction so I don't know that it is something I can mess with. I would however like to be one of those people who takes a long run or uses exercise to process. It is not the first reaction I have when things don't make sense. My going to take a nap is like a knee jerk response. 

Anyway, I am processing a lot already in this new year. There is already some news from several friends that I am stewing over. Praying for them. I came home yesterday and did take a short nap to help myself but today I am wondering is there a better way to process?

My book and freaking Artist's who are freaking flaky

I have had my first real frustration with this book deal.  My publishers called about a week ago and informed me that they were still interested and were just wondering if I was still waiting on an artist. I told them yes, that I was probably going to fire this artist because although he is very talented he has been a bit of a slacker. 

The problem lies with the fact that this was an artist from Mo's work and I didn't want to make things weird for him. So I tactfully asked what the status was on his work and he informed that it was the same as last time, which is pretty much nothing. He had a few ideas but basically he has done nothing since we spoke at Christmas.

Well, I was not too upset because during this time I realized that another person I know would make a fabulous children's illustrator and so I asked her if the job comes back to me if she would be interested. She said yes, and so I hired her on the spot. 

I am hoping to have the 5 pages they need of illustrations done by the end of this month and to get this ball rolling once again.

I told the previous artist that once I am raking in the dough I won't gloat too much :)

Simplify

I have decided to simplify. I started a few weeks back when I couldn't wait to be done with school just so that I could clean my house, and it hasn't stopped.  I am now getting rid of all these items that I have way too much of; Bowls, Mugs, Shoes, Clothes, Home Decor, Toys, toys, and more toys, more clothes, Sheets and blankets, Little trinkets that I hate dusting, Decorative Plates, All household items that I haven't used in over a year, and Picture frames.

IF there is anything that is on that list you are in need of please let me know otherwise by the end of this month it will be given to Savers. I just brought three GIANORMOUS  bags there today and it felt so good.

Part of my need for simplifying was because I just need to get my house clean after a semester of just being consumed with school, work, and everything else BUT my house. Part of my need to simplify is also because with 6 people in any household under 2000 sq. feet you just have to keep it simple. My house is only 1698 sq. feet and you better believe we use every inch and are grateful for every inch. And finally the last reason for this ever pressing need to simplify is because of a recent article I read in O magezine, (yes I know I already mentioned the magazine before but hey, it was a good one) it was titled , Back to Basics and it was about all these people who are becoming minimalist's by choice. I know (unlike my sister Jenny) that I will probably never truly achieve this state of being but, that doesn't mean that I am not going to die trying.

So Jen- I am right there with ya. I am trying to pretend that if I was moving right now how much of the crap that I have accumulated over the past almost 4 years in this house, would I be getting rid of. Then I am also getting rid of all things that I don't truly need, use, or otherwise really value enough to be taking up some of my precious space.

Chloe

My daughter Chloe has always been the most sensitive child I own : ) Ever since the day we were bringing her home from the hospital and she started crying when we put her in the car seat, we knew she was not going to be the Tigger type personality that her older sister Emma had. When she was a baby and I would sing this little sweet song to her with her name in it, she would slowly pucker up and cry. I would have thought is was my voice if it weren't for having Emma who loved my singing. The music would make her cry. She would cry from loud noises, scary faces, happy faces with loud voices, you name it, she would more often than  not be found crying. She was also the only one of my four who became very attached to her blanket that she tenderly named her "Monkey", don't ask me why there was no monkey on the thing anywhere. 

Well through the 8 years of this sweet ones life we have had more than one occasion of having to sit her down and tell her that, "Everything is going to be okay, nobody died, take a deep breath, re-group" those kinds of things you say to calm a child down who is irrationally upset over something as silly as dropping her toothbrush on the floor. Although, now that I know her better dropping her toothbrush on the floor IS a big deal. She is a bit of a clean freak and by that I mean, she is cleaner than me.

Anyway, I am extremely upset tonight over the fact that of all the kids I have, with all their varied personalities, she is the one who seems to end up with the short end of the stick when it comes to mean kids who say mean things.

She has been told before that she has "Dumbo ears" that she is "Fat" and who knows what else that has been said to her that she doesn't tell me about.

Tonight we had to have a discussion again about how beautiful she is and how perfect her Heavenly Father has made her. It  just makes me so pissed off that I have to combat such ugly words spoken over her so early. It makes me angry for the lies that come from the "Father of lies" right from the get go to come against us. 

It reminds me of a children's story written by Max Lucado. It's about the Wemmick's and how they go around sticking either stars or dots on everyone depending on whether they are a "good" Wemmick or not. Dots for not, stars for good. It's a great book called, You Are Special. The main character Punchinello is not a "good" Wemmick so he has lots of dots. Until one day he meets a girl who surprisingly has no stickers at all, dots or stars, she has nothing. When he asks her why she doesn't have any stickers she says it's because she goes to meet with her maker Eli everyday and then the stickers just don't stick.

It also makes me realize that my Lo Lo is one amazing young lady who has had to fight hard for her little life already and that makes me think some really great, great things are in store for her. My prayer is that her heart will somehow hear stronger and louder the voice of her maker and that she will hear the truth from Him.

Oprah and Me

I , on occasion indulge myself in two magazine purchases. One of them is People, of course I know full well how silly this magazine is but I enjoy it anyway, and the other is Oprah or O magazine. I know that last one is shocker right? I really do think her magazine is one of the best out there.

Anyway, this month's issue immediately caught my eye because as an occasional viewer of her show I have noticed that she has been going up in size and like the rest of the world I was wondering what the heck was going on. I was sad to find that it was due to some health problems and unbalance in her life and it made me think about my own weight issues that I have dealt with my whole life.

Then last night  the episode on the O show that day was her personal interview of herself speaking about "what the heck happened" to her this time. I sat down after the kids were all in bed and I was surprised by how emotional I got watching her show. Again, I think this episode hit home because of my own issues, but also I felt very sad again for her. It's funny how you can become so intrigued and interested in a person you have never met but I am and I was very sad for her. 

Anyway, there I was balling like a baby and thinking what is going on here? I think what really hit home was when her friend, Bob Greene looked at her and basically said that he thought she might be suffering from a mild case of depression. I knew that was exactly what had happened to me. These past few months pretty much since my coming home from Europe last year in March, I have been in a battle against this ugly monster called depression.

I know why I was depressed which really helps but that didn't seem to change any of the ways I was dealing with this depression. I am most certainly and emotional eater. This becomes quite evident to me when I am eating unconsciously or without reservation.

I had before the New Year began decided that I really needed to get back to exercising regularly and eating better which I was doing before we went on break but then I totally got off the wagon, Again!! 

So here I am once again dealing with this issue of not really being so concerned about my weight but healthy living. I have never in my entire life consistently for more than a year had a healthy way of eating, exercising and just otherwise being human. 

I am determined to once again learn from this hiccup along the road of health and take away what I can from it. I am still very discouraged with myself for letting it get this bad, and although I am not Oprah who went over 200 pounds again I am for my body not feeling as great as I could. 

I want to get really good at this healthy living not only for my sake but for my daughters who are quickly approaching an age that really picks up on any underlying unhealthy weight issues.

I want to be a good example to them in this area. I want to do this for myself though because it really comes down to making time for yourself which I think every mom and dad knows that can be hard to do. It means I have to make some changes, adaptations, sacrifices that might affect others but is primarily for me, myself and I.

I am determined, I am stubborn, I am tenacious and God help me,  I will do this!!

My mom's socks box

Tonight while cleaning up Christmas and New Year events and also doing lots of laundry all day, I was remembering something that my mom used to do with socks. In our house there was 6 of us and then 7, at one point more than that depending on how many people my mom invited to live with us at the time. Anyway, that's besides the point of my blog here. 

My mom used to keep a socks box for all the mismatched socks. It was generally found in the hall closet with the towels and all the other general population items of the Pellant house , like toilet paper ,towels, and such. I remember when I was younger that this socks box was the source of either great discontent or satisfaction depending on whether or not I found the sock I was looking for. I remember when I was younger being so frustrated with my mom for not knowing where all the socks were in the whole house. How could she put just one sock in my room without the other. How could she not know where everything was at all times. I thought when I was younger that this socks box was more just her laziness in not putting all our socks together and in our room. Why couldn't she have put them all neatly in my drawer folded together and organized like all the other mom's did? Why did she just throw all the socks in the box and call it a day??

Funny how your perspective changes as you age, have children of your own, and have done thousands upon thousands of loads of laundry. A little perspective is always a good thing.

Tonight while sorting and cleaning I thought, my mom was a genius she had a place for the most annoying things on the planet = mismatched socks. 

There is no moral to this story other than I have done some growing up(at least I think I have) and have now a new perspective on my mom's socks box. 

I will now have one of my own. 

I hope my kids will think the same of me someday as I do of my mom right now.

2008 in pictures- The next 4 posts

If I had to pick my all time favorite picture from the whole year it would be this one.  It is of Papa Tom and his buddy Isaiah. These two together are heaven on earth to me. They are a dynamic duo.  The rest of the pics in this post are my favorite scenery pics of the year.




The next 4 post are my life in pictures in 2008. Well, some of my life in pictures. I hope you enjoy. I know going through them reminded me of some very important things. 

1- Time goes by fast, truly it does

2- People are so very important

3- God is good, that will never change

4- Don't forget to enjoy what you have, don't forget to play

Here's to the New Year!!

Moments Captured in 2008 (cont.)

There is nothing quite like family. It takes a village they say to raise a child and the village above here and below are what I am thankful for because I have 4 children to raise. SO does that mean that I get 4 villages?
My mom and dad are some of the greatest people on this planet. I am not just saying this because they are my parents. Truly, they are really cool people and I hope this year I make a priority to spend more time with them because I want to not because it's expected around holidays but just because days.
There is nothing better in life than new life. This precious little person our nieces baby Isabella was for sure a highlight in 2008.  When I met my hubby Mo his sister's daughter Kay was only 4 years old, Isaiah's age. Now she is a mom. 

Jordan Lear makes me smile. What precious person this little boy is. His heart is HUGE. I again am so grateful for my kids friends.

More moments Captured in 2008

These women here shaped my husband's view of women. To them I am grateful for all the love and care they have given and for who they are.

There are not enough words to describe how thankful I am for my children's friends. Bob, look at that face. How can it not make you smile. 
I am reminded by this picture not to forget to PLAY. I was asked this question at an interview. How important is the role of Play in your curriculum? I could have go on and on. We all learn so much through play.  This doesn't change just because the number on our driver license goes up.

Favorite moments captured from 2008

This picture at the top is one of my all time favorites from the year. It reminds me of course of the journey of the Wizard of Oz and the journey that group of unlikely strangers faced. They soon became friends and defeated their greatest enemies together. Each realizing that the greatest enemy was just themselves. Reflecting back on the year past can be dangerous but this morning as I sit here and go through all the moments captured in 2008 I am reminded of my friends and family that have come along side me. I am blessed beyond measure with the greatest treasures life has to offer. People. The people in my life young and old are my gifts that I will take into this new year with a complete gratitude not taking even one for granted.








I have so much to be thankful for. If even one person in this life knows you, really knows you that is a blessing. So many people are lonely in this world that is full of fear right now. I am not alone. That is a good feeling. To know and be known is what it's all about so that at the end of it all you are not alone left in a room with all the stuff that can clutter and distract a life from the most important treasures, People.

A Few Nights Before Christmas

Twas a few nights before Christmas 

when all through our house

Every person was puking 

With the flu no doubt

The laundry is piling up ever so high

and although I am exhausted

I am not getting any shut eye

It started with one as I heard the disturbance

I sprang from my bed to see this occurrence

It's happened before this ugly old bug

So I went to my duties without even a shrug

Changing  sheets, blankets, and clothes

These are the nights every parent soon knows

Each child has a bowl now and will until morning

Be puking and praying without any snoring

My eyes are getting sleepy, I would like to retire

But wait I must again go put out another puke fire.

So as you snuggle close so warm in your bed

Be thankful it's not your house, this house of dread

Don't mean to be a Bah hum bug as I sign off for the night

But

Merry Puking Christmas to all and To all (BUT me) 

A Good Night!!

today

Today....

I woke up to breakfast in bed

I kept my kids home from school to have more fun

I played a lot of cards , Crazy Rummy my new favorite

I ate a can of olives a friend gave me as a present(this friend knows me well)

I gave the dogs a much needed bath, well actually the kids did but I supervised

I bought myself my favorite flower, hard to find this time of year

I got boots that keep my feet so warm from my boyfriend

I got a really great birthday kiss from my boyfriend

I got hugs all day from the greatest 4 kids in the whole world

And..... the days not over yet.

Here's to being 33

Well, tomorrow is my 34th birthday. I have to say that my 33rd year was a very interesting one and I am sure that it is one that I will look back on with some regret but also one that I will never forget. 

So much happened to me this year that I feel in many ways I went through somewhat of a mid-life crisis if you will. A bit early I suppose although who said this was ever supposed to be at a certain time. 

Some things that happen in a mid-life crisis are as follows; 

You questions many things in life.

You begin to wonder what's it really all about.

You change what you can and wish you could change more than that.

For some this means buying a new car, I didn't. Getting a new partner, I didn't. Changing your hair, I did. Losing weight, wish I did . Some move far, far away, I didn't. Some just go crazy nuts, I suppose I did in some ways, not my fault though. Some change careers, I thought about this but then that would mean I need a career in the first place. I did however rethink a time or two about the career I have been learning about for over ahem....15 years or more. 

I have to say that I am not one to get weird about getting older. To me it's just a number.

 I am thankful that 34 years ago a woman named Ellen and her honey Greg brought a baby home in a big red stocking and loved that baby oh so well. I am thankful that I have had 34 years here. That's alot of years to enjoy many things. It is also alot of years to see sadness but being the eternal optimist that I am I REFUSE to stay there. I am thankful for my life that God has so graciously given me. Oh yeah, and I am also thankful I came a week early :)

 I am also thankful that I now have a Baskin Robbins right down the street from me and that tonight is $1 scoop night. 

Cleaning, OCD, and Life with Me

I have cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned some more. I believe my bathrooms should have been reported to the CPS as being completely and utterly unsanitary. Rest assured Trista, they are now once again safe at least for today. I am going to move onto the carpets and then the kitchen floor next. I never thought I would ever hear myself say this but, it feels SO good to deep clean. I am not a deep cleaner by nature. I surface clean. I throw stuff in baskets and deal with it later.

*Usually, much later. BUT, I have so far cleaned out my bedroom closet, the towel closet, and will later work on the coat closet up front. I have brought three HUGE bags to goodwill and still have some more. It feels so good and it has been a long time coming.

Last night at bible study everyone was talking about their different OCD tendencies and my husband said(with great sadness I might add as though being OCD is a good thing), " I think I was once OCD but Noel took that right out of me. Any OCD tendencies I once had are long gone now. How could you be OCD in this house?" and on and on he went. I then began to reflect. I was trying to think if I had any OCD habits but alas, I couldn't think of any. I don't do anything in my life in the same way twice. When I watch movies where the people get up and go to bed in the same way every night and day I think how odd. My life is one big spontaneous roller coaster ride and most days, I like it that way.

I am having a hard time relaxing since being done with this semester on Friday. I still keep feeling as though I should be doing something. Studying, writing a paper, or checking the computer online classes 20 times a day. I am so glad to be done with last semester and next semester will not be taking 3 classes.

My publishers called and I talked to an actual person again which was exciting. I told them I was waiting on my illustrator which seems strange to say. They said that is a common hold up for most people and not to worry they are still interested.  I have also started working on another children's book series, entitled Micko Peeko the Whiney Rhino. This one is already such a winner with all the kids. It was really Isaiah inspired and I think might even be better than Brodey the Bishop series. 

Well, my cleaning break is over. I have finished my lunch- Nachos with Pepper Jack cheese(melts THE best) and a tall glass of OJ. 

 I think I will post everyday this week just to help me get used to not having to do homework. Ya know to kinda ween me off the computer.

Relief never felt so sweet

A huge weight was lifted for me tonight. Finishing my Health and Nutrition class , (the only science class I have to take for my degree) was like relieving 35% of a panic attack for this seriously stressed out girl. 

One class down , two more to go. 

Tomorrow wraps up another class and then I have until Sunday to finish my other online course. 

I have already registered for next semester and just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. I was talking to a friend the other day about what it feels like to be in school in this stage in life and I have to say that it is best described as the feeling of heightened awareness you have with a newborn baby. Like you are constantly going in and checking on them to see if they are still breathing. This is like that, you are ever aware of the fact that whatever free time you have really isn't real free time , you should be doing something. Studying, writing, submitting, etc....OR Mothering, cleaning, cleaning, Cooking, did I mention cleaning. I can't wait to deep clean my house.

All I can say is that this winter break is so needed and I think I might just look forward to cleaning my house for the first time EVER!!

I can hardly wait to get back to blogging. Some of the topics that have been rolling around in my head-

-Busy work, for example the government workers who ripped up my whole sidewalk only to replace a few pipes in a few places but managed to inconvenience all 20 of my neighbors for 2 weeks.

-Pets(enough said)

-Careers why we choose certain life paths over others

-Life as a normal "lay" person, what is that anyway? Seriously!!

-Why in all the years I have been married to my husband did I never realize how accommodating he is, marriage at this stage, and life ahead

-Books, my book, your book, and what book I should read next ( for enjoyment that is)

-Kids(enough said)

-Needs versus Wants- What I am and am not willing to live without at this stage in life.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg for my blog topics so get ready for some good Christmas reading at least on my blog site  :0 

A few favorites from our Thanksgiving holiday

Our family for the first time ever got to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with Moses Mom, Nashelle at her brother's Farm in San Gregorio. Moses Uncle Kay owns 150 acres right outside of San Francisco in a little town called San Gregorio by Half Moon Bay.  This spot on the planet is one of THE most beautiful I have ever seen. We all didn't want to come home. This holiday was a dream come true one because we have always wanted to spend this holiday of food with the best cook in our family which would be Mo's mom and two because where we were able to spend it was a beautiful little oasis for our whole family.  

The picture at the top is of Papa Tom and his buddy Isaiah. Isaiah called him "My buddy" all week. It really was so heart healing to see these two together. Papa Tom is the Grandfather I always dreamed of having.  He is a kid magnet because he is just that fun. 

The next picture is of the newest member of the family our nieces daughter Isabella. She was so beautiful and I held her the whole time. Well, that is when I could get her away from my girls.

The next pic is of Isaiah feeding the horses and Papa Tom holding onto his shirt so he didn't fall out of the barn. 

The last two pics are just a few of this very picture perfect place. 

What a treat! Enjoy.

GO ahead and gloat all you nay sayers!!

I will only say this about Obama's announcement of Hillary as Secretary of State. SH** SH** SHIT!! 

That and you were right , and I was wrong , and now I am singing a new song!!

Okay maybe I have more to say about it than that but I really don't have time. When school is over and my brain is functioning in blog leisure mode I will write more but for now, 

SHIT!

Please don't tell my children how much their mother just cussed.