Monday, January 19, 2009


I have always had a tough time processing things quickly. Whether it's the news of a friend or some news on the Television, I take a long time to process things. I especially take a bit longer than that when something directly affects someone I deeply care for or even more time when something has happened to me personally. As I get older I am realizing that I have never done anything quickly, except maybe getting married. So it's not surprising to those of you who know me. Last year there were quite a lot of things that my brain just couldn't wrap around and understand and so I began to check out in a very unhealthy way. It was a rough year for pretty much everyone I know. In some way, shape, or form everyone I knew was having a tough time so again, my issues I didn't want to bother anyone else with or give them yet another problem that needed to be solved. So I got quiet, took lots of naps, and began to shut down. There were some friends who noticed even over the phone that I didn't sound the same. I am sure I needed to be on medication but because we didn't have insurance(still don't until Feb 11th) I haven't been to a doctor.
When I get upset my whole life ever since I can remember the way I deal with being really upset is to go to my nice, warm, comfy bed and take a long nap. It seems as though after a nice long nap everything gets better. That's how I process. Slowly with lots of naps. I also process things by cleaning, but that's usually just my M.O. when I am angry. If I get really angry I clean like a mad woman. Literally.  
I think the way we process life is so interesting. I know that my mom processes by talking. She loves to talk. She talks when she's nervous, happy, sad, angry. She's a talker. I know that my dad processes by going and listening to his music. He puts his headset on and listens away the day or night. 
I am wondering how do you process things?  I am also wondering can you change the way you process life? Is that just something that is part of our genetic makeup that can't be changed? I would really like to process a bit quicker. Maybe not stew on things for quite so long. It seems anytime I try to rush my processing department I have a major malfunction so I don't know that it is something I can mess with. I would however like to be one of those people who takes a long run or uses exercise to process. It is not the first reaction I have when things don't make sense. My going to take a nap is like a knee jerk response. 
Anyway, I am processing a lot already in this new year. There is already some news from several friends that I am stewing over. Praying for them. I came home yesterday and did take a short nap to help myself but today I am wondering is there a better way to process?


shontell said...

I process in different ways depending on the issue. I am a chatterer like your mother, but I mostly use that to prove I am NOT crazy or gain insight from the wiser people in my life: my mother, my brother. Other times, I brood and get my quick wit ready to snap back (sort of like rehearsing my meanness). And then, when it seems to really be beyond my control, I creak open my bible and pretty much go with whatever scripture God gives me, or I keep reading until I feel better. That's how I got the name Samuel. But, that's another story.

scoey-d said...

When/as I process, I ask myself, "Am I in denial? Am I trying to avoid feeling pain, hurt, etc. from this situation?" And then I get into examining what I immediately retreat to, to see if its helping with the processing or just playing a part in delaying/avoiding it.

I don't know that there's a right way to do it - but to do it. Without avoidance, medication, denial, or other means of ignoring the inevitable...

Jeni said...

I process in several ways. It usually involved crying, which is insanely frustrating for me, but I know it is a necessity. I usually process by writing or by talking to people-- just getting it out somehow. And as far as knowing that other people are having a hard time too, I think that you should still reach out-- for me, when I'm having a hard time, helping somebody else with their hard time and taking the focus off of myself and what I'm thinking and feeling generally helps. Obviously, it depends on what the issue is, but in most cases, that's what I think.
As far as being able to change it- I think you can. If the way you are handling problems is unhealthy and isolating you from the world around you, then change can be good. I say this not only to you, but as a reminder to myself... :)
And if you're down and want to call, know that you can call me anytime, even if I am having a hard time myself!

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