Generosity

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

A few weeks back on Thanksgiving weekend I was asked by a homeless man for a little help and I ignored him. Hoping he would just go away, I turned a blind eye to his begging and thought he would get the clue. He didn’t. He continued to say, “I am just down on my luck and any little bit would help”. I didn’t hear this. I heard, I am just lazy and I don’t want to get a job, hold down that job, and pay my bills like every other grown-up. My deaf ears were gently interrupted when my 6 year old son reached into his pocket and gave the man what little change he had. I was angry at first that the man had begged so long, and so loud that it caught the attention of my 1st grader. But then later something happened. That man’s face stayed in my head and I kept hearing him say all the things I was thinking like, “I’m not a drug addict, or an alcoholic, I just hit some tough times”.

And then I realized,somewhere along the way I have stopped having a generous spirit.

It got me thinking about what a cynic I have become and why? I could say that it’s because I have come to my senses in my old age and am no longer taken for the fool with “those” homeless people. I could say that if I gave to every homeless person that stopped me in Seattle I wouldn’t be able to feed my own children with what was left. I could say that I am practicing tough love. But all of this would just be an excuse.

The reality is that a part of my heart has become hardened to the troubles of others. I have enough troubles of my own and at some point my capacity for “troublesome” life must have just gotten overloaded and hardened.
I know it seems cliche but this holiday season I am wanting a heart that is softer, kinder to those in need. Not just those in need of money but also those who might just need a friendly face, a hug, a listening ear. I know these are goals I can’t manage on my own. I know this will come with a change of heart and so I am asking My Creator for help.

This reminds me of a worship song;

“Purify my heart let me be as gold and precious silver.
Purify my heart cleanse me from my sin deep within.
Refiners fire, my hearts one desire is to be holy, set apart
for you Lord.
I choose to be holy set apart for you my Master ready
to do your will.”

Today as I sit and type this and remember that man on the street all over again, I pray a blessing over him. For although I didn’t give one at the time I am wanting to give one now, and I know God knows exactly who I am talking about. I also know that it is NEVER too late to have a change of heart.

Generosity.

What a beautiful word.

An Update In Pictures

Happy Holidays to all who are reading this, from our family to yours. SO thankful for the family and friends that keep up with me through reading this little blog here. To those of you who do mostly read these post for little updates, I know it's going to seem quite crazy, almost totally bonkers to read this post that includes a picture of the newest member of the Scofield family, right after I just posted a complaint about Bella. BUT don't judge me!



It seems the time is just flying by and I can hardly catch up to the rate at which time is traveling now.Can't believe Uncle Jeremy graduates this coming year, and that my daughter Emmers will be an official teenager soon. Jeremy if you are reading this, I am beyond words proud of you and can't wait to hoot, holler, and go crazy nutts on your graduation day.



This Thanksgiving we had the absolute pleasure of hosting 13 people at our dinner table. And what a table it was. When discussing with The Giant how we were going to fit all of these loved ones around our little IKEA table that we bought when we first moved into this tiny cabin he said, "Why don't I just build us a new bigger table?" This he said to me the day before turkey day and the same day that some of our company was arriving that night. I know better to question him on these things, my only concern was the timing.... because we all know timing on Thanksgiving day is everything. Well once again My Giant came to save the day. The New Table that Moses built the day before Thanksgiving is amazing. Still can't believe the skills that boy has.



And Finally the moment you have all been waiting for, Newest Member of the family; Barley Bambino Boo Scofield.

Bad Dog Bella!!

WARNING- venting ahead... ARRGHHH!!

Dear Bella,

If you continue to make HUGE messes for me by getting into the trash as punishment for us all leaving you in the morning, I will be forced to leave you outside, IN THE RAIN!!

Not really.

Sincerely,
CEO Scofield Home

Sidenote- I know that my dog doesn't actually read my blog but ... it just feels good to vent to someone, so thanks for being someone.

My Veteran's Day Tribute

I am sitting here watching the tail end of the CMA awards, and my brain just got thinking about Veteran's Day tomorrow and all things USA.

I am thankful for the day off of work.

I am thankful that I don't have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get my daughter off to Jr. High.

But so much more than that I am thankful for the Veteran's out there.

The Veteran that hit's home for me tonight is my Uncle Jimmy featured in the above picture on the left. (Sorry it's a small pic, but it's the only one I could grab in a hurry)

Uncle Jimmy fought in the Vietnam war, one of THE most unappreciated soldier's wars out there. In the midst of so much confusion and in a time when going to serve God and country was what was absolutely excepted of you, my Uncle Jim went to war.

He wasn't happy to go to war , to quote him he said "I am a musician not a mortician". And with that quote I couldn't agree more. War what a tragedy, but my Uncle Jimmy made the best of it. His stories astound me from this time in his life.

I can't speak for him, but I know the time he spent there was a time where he saw things that I know I can't even imagine, let alone even begin to write about.

For this sacrifice I say thank you Uncle Jimmy.

You are amazing.

YOU are inspiring.

You are loved.

You are appreciated.


I wish I could put into words all the love I have for you in my heart, but just know that this niece of yours is thinking of you tomorrow on Veteran's day.

Although to be a Veteran of any war is not a happy thing, to you I say Happy Veteran's day because I am happy you made it through the living hell that we call WAR!

Just Because

Just because....


I found this the other day

M + N

engraved on a tree stump outside our house.

It reminded me of a few years back when I found this cave man writing scribbled on a rock in San Gregorio.



It made me smile to think that after all these years

we are still making our mark as MoNoSco.

It made me smile to know that not only does my honey know that I love notes,
but he has given me notes that will last forever.

It also made me think what does M+N = equal ?

The obvious answer would be E+C+S+I

but beyond that what does it equal?

Moses was/is my life choice.

I chose him over college, over career, over parents, siblings, over everything and everyone.

I made a good choice.

Rebuttal to 1 year later

(Cabin in the woods where we are making new memories)

After my last pity-party post I felt I should quickly post a rebuttal.

I am thankful for my new neighbors here in Washington.


(Favorite row of trees this fall, but the picture doesn't quite do it justice)

Tonight we went trick or treating with our neighbors.
Neighbors from Russia, Brazil, Mexico, India, and L.A.



(Pea Patch Preschool class on Orange Day!)


It has taken some time to find our niche here in Redmond, but tonight actually made me feel like it is starting to happen.
Definition of Niche- " a place, employment, status, or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted b : a habitat supplying the factors necessary for the existence of an organism or species c : the ecological role of an organism in a community especially in regard to food consumption d : a specialized market"

It is an interesting thing meeting new people. We have been here in Washington a whole year now and this is just now starting to happen. There is just a glimmer of the beginnings of finding a niche here.

I am thankful for people who share their gift of hospitality with me and my family. There have been all kinds of gestures to welcome my family and I and for everyone of them I am thankful.
Whether it's a walk up my hill, a pie brought over, a free week pass at the gym, a birthday party, a night out , a night in, a book club, an invitation to anything cannot be overlooked when you are the new comer.



(Sol the cowboy, Friend Irene the Witch, and Isaiah The Hulk)

More now than ever I have realized that I want to cultivate my gifts of hospitality and make my home one that welcomes strangers.

Funny side-note, tonight while trick-or-treating I saw a welcome matt that said "GO- AWAY" it made me LOL :)
That matt would be the opposite of what I am trying to convey... still it is pretty dang funny!


(Pic of some branches on the Big Daddy Tree in our yard with some moss and just a speckle of sun)

I am thankful for new neighbors, second chances, new friends, new jobs, a new home, and a new lease on life.

1 year later

I had a total melt-down moment tonight.
It has been a start to finish beyond busy Monday.
The kind where you don't have time to really eat, pee, or even breathe!
From 6:30 this morning until almost 8p tonight I didn't have one single moment alone.
Then while waiting in the car for Sol to come out of Cub Scouts, all alone at approximately 7:55p, it hit me.
We have been living here in Washington for a year now.
I felt at that moment in the car alone with no one but me and my Creator a deep sigh of grief.
I breathed in and out, 3 long breaths and the floodgates opened up.

It's hard to believe that one year ago, I was arriving here in Washington with my family of 6 to live in a tiny little cabin in the woods. The Pacific Northwest still doesn't feel like home, but at least I don't feel like we are on just a really long vacation anymore :) Whether that is a good or a bad thing I don't know.
What I do know is that putting down roots in a new home takes some time. Time is something we mark with birthdays, holidays, and other such traditions. So this time of year especially always reminds me of a few things that are just not the same anymore.

Tonight I realized this time of year will never be the same anymore.
For a moment I had it really great.
Now I will just have to redefine great.
All of my immediate family living in one state as grown-up adults that was great.
Now great has to be at least that we all live here in the States again :) and also that none of us have passed away.
I can still call anytime I want to hear a voice on the other end and that is something great that I took for granted before, something really great is being able to hug my family whenever I want to. I just now have to buy a plane ticket to do it.

A good friend reminded me recently of the importance of grieving and so I guess that's what I am doing tonight.
I feel like I have been grieving for while now, and not just about moving away from all my family and friends, but about a lot of pain and sorrow that I have seen all around me.

I realize that this post is one that might get deleted because I don't usually like to grieve publicly.
I guess I have always been a private crier and therefore a kind of a private griever.
I think it mostly comes from not liking to be too vulnerable, but also because chances are after a good night sleep it will all feel so different in the morning.

Tonight though it feels good to cry.
I am crying over being too far away from friends and family.
I am crying over the struggles in marriages around me.
I am crying over the failing health of loved ones.
Over loneliness, brokenness, and despair that I see on the faces all around me.
And then over my own selfishness and humanity.
It feels selfish to cry when I have a roof over my head, my health, food in my belly, and the love of my amazing family, but still here I sit with tears and it really also feels SO good.

Happy 9th Birthday Solomon

Oh My, how you have grown.

Who,What, When, Where, and How ?

I don't know what happened, but suddenly I turned around a corner and my oldest daughter is in Jr. High, and she is making social engagements left and right.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy that she is a well adjusted pre-teen who has a lot of great friends. I just want to know when I signed up for more taxi-cab hours? And HOW she got to be so grown-up-ish already?

I don't know when I realized how great, I mean truly great my husband is, but it must have been between now and the last 16 years that I realized just how fortunate I am. He is a man of substantial character and although I know he would say many if not most of his good qualities come from knowing God somewhere in there is a man who chooses God above all things and for that I am grateful.


I am really not sure who taught my daughter Chloe to be so clean but she has got this department in life DOWN. I mean I am learning from her every day better ways to organize and beautify life. She is such a God-send to me in this very busy, very messy family. I truly treasure her for more reasons of course than just this but this one is what I am thinking about right now as I sit and type.



I am not exactly sure how I feel about the fact that my oldest son has a birthday coming up that will mark the last year of his life when he is just a single-digit child. I mean I think that Solomon is really going to enjoy his 9th year of life, it's just that I can't hardly believe that the little boy who made his way into the world with such gusto is now going to be embarking on double digits soon.



And then there is Zed. Well, I could say enough said about Zed and not only would that rhyme but those of you who know him would know that there is just so much that could be said about Zed! WHERE did I get him?



So that takes care of the who, what, where, when, and how of my life right now.

Just in case you were wondering.

Now it's your turn?

One Year Later

I have gone to Pikes Market more times than I care to mention and still every time I am blown away that I live so close that I could shop there for fresh flowers if I wanted to.

I have missed, birthdays, weddings, funerals, baby showers, bridal showers, baby arrivals, and countless other important dates that rip my heart out every time they pass by and I am here and they are there.

I have finally gotten to the point where I am not afraid to drive around here without Gloria Paige Smith aka GPS.


I have come to realize that although I love Seattle, it is just a place.

I have changed I hope for the good in ways that I wouldn't have if I never moved out of the state that I lived in for 35 years. In ways that I never thought were possible. In ways I never knew I was capable of.



I have a husband who has become my one and only truly all over again. I have 4 children who right before my eyes are quickly becoming young/big people. These surroundings are the only ones that are still the same. Everything and Everyone else has changed.

I have a new job. It's a good job. I am thankful for it. It works out perfectly with my other job of being CEO of Scofield international.

I have reinvented what it looks like to be a mother to Emma, Chloe, Solomon, and Isaiah.

I have realized that the older I get the less I know for sure and the more I find myself saying," I don't know" when I thought I would know more.

My Day

Caffiene 6am
‎7am bus drop off,
8:30 bus drop off,
work by 8:45 off by 1,
Library,
Thrift Store drop off,
Oil Change,
Pick up Em early 2p,
Dr-well check for Em to play sports 2:40,
Caffiene 3:30



pick up from bus stop 3:45 appx 5 kids +1 Jr Higher already in tow,
drop off 2 kids that don't belong to me 5:45,
Hubby gets home... pass the baton to go shopping and get Em ready for above sports that start tomorrow,
Caffiene 6:30
back to school Curriculum night for Elementary kids in my house 7p,
Home by 8 ish....
Some minor dental work on Isaiah's front top tooth,
I'd say it was a busy day but the more likely comment these days would be... Welcome to my World!



And What a Beautiful World It Is!!

NO JOKE .....

Back To School Shopping for 4 kids

144 No. 2 Pencils
10 Pink Pearl Erasers(which the town of Redmond has a shortage of)
8 boxes of kleenex
20 glue sticks
4 bottle of Hand Sanitizer
48 crayons or 2 boxes
4 packs of colored pencils
4 scissors
6 red correcting pens (don't teachers use these, I am a teacher and I have to buy my own supplies)
23 notebooks
35 personal folders
2 gallon size Ziploc bags (boys only, I have 2)
2 sandwich size Ziploc bags (girls only, I have 2)
1 very expensive calculator
4 binders all specific sizes (had to search high and low for a 2" binder, what the crap!!)
3 pencil plastic boxes
Disinfectant wipes
Diaper wipes , REALLY ? !!


I haven't even gotten half way through but you get the idea....

1 bottle of wine (instead of the useless, but ever so funny EASY button from STAPLES)

I was tempted to buy the button instead of the bottle but it was more expensive.

Oh and Mom, in case you are reading this I LOVE YOU and thank you, thank you, thank you for doing this 5 times over!

Tid Bits

I have been crocheting up a storm. Mostly just headbands with buttons. It has been a longtime dream of mine and I have attempted several times to learn from different teachers. All to no avail, UNITL... my momma Nash pointed out to me that it was because I was trying to do it with my right hand instead of my left. Total lightbulb moment and now, it is my latest greatest hobby to keep me busy on the grey days. I really enjoy this hobby and it reminds me of both of my grandmothers. I would love to be able to learn how to make more than just headbands with flowers and scarfs but for now, I am happy with that at least.




My daughter went to her open house/ Jr. High/orientation thingy this morning. She got her locker combo. I remember when lockers were a really big deal and my greatest stress in life was not having enough time in between classes to go back and forth between my locker and classes. Sigh.....




My dog has been itching, scratching, and itching some more due to the new climate we live in we now have to worry about things like flea collars and stuff. I remember when I lived somewhere that I didn't even know what a flea collar was nor did I ever have to purchase them for my pets. This reminds me of all the changes that have taken place for us this past year. Adapting to a new place involves much more than just a new zip code.



My other daughter is looking over her shopping list of back to school items that she got from her teacher today. She is making her own list of things she already has and things she still needs. She likes making lists. She is like her mother that way. I love finding her lists all over the house. This reminded me of her list last year that she made for things she wanted to do for her birthday. Her Aunt Jenny loved that list so much she blogged about it.



September 1st is when the FAB 4 all go back to school. 7th, 5th, 3rd, and 1st grade. We are entering a whole new world. Here's to a wonderful summer, a whole new school year, and to Life in general.

What a wonderful world !!

Hope Part 3

“ But this I recall and therefore I have HOPE and expectation;

It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not.
They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion or share says my living being (inner self); therefore I will hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him, inquire of Him, and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God’s word. It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation, the safety and ease, of the Lord."
Lamentations 3:21-26

This would be the portion of these past 3 blogs where I would like to take the right to use a little thing called a soap box. If you would be so kind as to let me get up on it for a minute, I promise not to stay there for very long.

In the above scripture the writer says that "It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness" that he has HOPE , expectations, and is not consumed. I too, would like to shout out a HUGE; AMEN,or here, here !, or YES !, or I agree wholeheartedly with that!! There were so many, many things this past year that tried to consume me and yet, I had HOPE. There are so many things these days that come to rob, kill, and destroy the life that God has given us... but IF we hope in Him we won't be consumed.

I would like to say that the above scripture is quickly becoming one of my all time favorites because it talks about not only HOPE, but also the reward for those that HOPE in Christ Jesus, "Safety, Ease, Peace, Salvation" these are all the rewards of hoping in God. He is the only one worth hoping in, because He never fails.

I could easily look back on this past year and think, "How could you have failed me God? Where are you in all of this wreckage that is now my financial situation?" But, I don't see it like that. I choose NOT to see it like that. I SEE that God was there all along. That HE was the one that kept my children from harm these past 2 years when we didn't have health insurance for them. That he kept food on our table, warmth in our cabin, and people around us for support. That he kept Mo and my hearts intertwined, in love, and gave us strength in character when the times got really tough. That HE changed our hearts and minds, and healed our internal emotional wounds, like no Doctor ever could. That HE is still healing, still moving, still alive, and still worth hoping in.

This is the God I serve.

This is why I HOPE in Him.

This is why I wait, expectantly for Him to turn ALL things to GOOD.

After all, isn't He the one that calls a thing "GOOD" - Genesis 1:31

I don't think I could explain better than what this says for the reason of my HOPE. And so that being said, I am getting off my box now. Hope is a powerful God given tool to keep us out of the "depths of despair" . To quote from Anne of Green Gables "to be in the depths of despair means you have turned your back on God". Friends, don't turn your back on God.

You can bank on Him, truly like no other.

HE IS FAITHFUL and so full of HOPE!

Hope Part 2

Hope.

It's something that comes from deep within.

It cannot be moved by circumstance.

It does not easily cave in by popular demand.

It is a word that has been used by politicians, theologians, and poets for thousands of years to evoke a response.

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

We took a risk this past October. It was painful. It is still sometimes painful.

When a move occurs as far away as ours, and under the circumstances that ours did, you sometimes feel like you have to know why?

We hoped for something better.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick"

When the outcome of your hopes comes crashing down around you, you have to reevaluate, restructure, reinvent, and renew what it is you truly hoped for in the first place.

I can still remember the first time in my life when my hopes were dashed. It was one of the most painful experiences in my life. And I still remember the faith it took to hope again. I am so glad I did begin to hope again.

In my life I have come to know and be known for having a hopeful, optimistic spirit. I do believe it is God given. I do believe it is for a reason. I am not always full of hope. I sometimes doubt if this character trait would be described but others as being incredibly naive.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

For me when I look back on the past 2 years and ask the above question; "how did I get through all of that?" I know the answer.

still more to come on this topic....

Hope Part 1

“Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action.”

The above quote has got to be an all time favorite of mine now, in regards to quotes that give me Hope.

To me it has always been one of the things I consider to be most helpful in my relationship with God. The fact that He never holds things over my head or brings past mistakes back up again. He is always the one who encourages, ever so gently to move forward. Forward motion, what a beautiful thing!

A while back, I would say it has been almost 2 and half years back now I got stuck on the idea that Hope often gets overlooked in the verse that says, “Now these 3 things remain; Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is Love.” I am not disagreeing with the manual on this one, I just wondered why for so many years I never really paid close attention to that word HOPE?

It got me thinking about the fact that maybe it’s because I never really in all my 30+ years ever had a reason to really “keep hope alive.”
Maybe when you have love and you have faith, hope just kinda gets lost by the waste side?
Maybe when you are not in a place in your life that seems hopeless you don’t even realize that you need this hope that others speak of?
It’s like being on a boat and until it’s sinking and you are desperately trying to find a way to safety, you don’t realize that there are get away boats all around you and a life vest right by your side.

Until the past 2 years came along the word Hope, the action of Hope was not as necessary. But, this past year I have clung to Hope like a newborn baby clings to it’s mother.

(To Be continued)

Summer 2010

These are just a few of my favorites so far....

Me and Mo at the Georgetown Farmers Market

These are now surrounding our outside porch and garden fence, trying to keep the bugs away

The front outside porch, or The picture of summer here in Redmond WA.

This picture = Leisure

Isaiah Gregory

Happy 6th Birthday Pasty Gangster #2

I have been keeping this list secret for far too long....

Isaiah’s List for His 6th Birthday Party

“First the funnest things go first, okay Mom”

1. Throw pies at each other.
2. Next....We are going to do present sharing. Where everyone gets a present from each other. This is after cake
3. Next... Oh wait I forgot dinner, which we will have pizza I think.
4. Next... A big wedding cake
5. AND NEXT... GO SURFING!! and then a lemon sign. (I think he means a lemonade sign for a Lemonade Stand)
6. And then we are all going to make a ramp which the green the car can go up on and then jump with the green car on the ramp.
7. And then... bowling
8. AND then... I think for one of my presents I will let Dad have the day OFF!!”
(This list was made 2 months ago when Mo was working everyday, now Isaiah would like to make an addendum.)
9. Mom should have the day off.

“Okay On the back let’s “vite” invite the people. It is going to be an (A) (B) pattern. First I choose then you choose.”

(A) Mike and Amoure

(B) John V.

(A) Jentry and Joe

and then he got really close and with big eyes whispered... THEN we could invite INDIANS!!
(B) Andrew and Renata also Big Isaiah and his family

(A)Jonathan from my school

(B) Baby Vinnie and his mom and dad


***I COULD NOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED!!! MAN OH MAN HOW I LOVE 5 YEAR OLDS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT A 5 YEAR OLD IN MY HOUSE?