Some deep thoughts before bed

As I was dozzing off to dream land my eyes wandered over to the top of my dresser upon which many pictures in frames sit. One inpaticular caught my eye though and my mind went racing. It was the picture of me as a baby being held by my Pepere( which means Grandpa in French). He looks to be about the age that my dad is now, mid to late 6o's and he looks happy. As I lay there thinking about that moment of time captured forever now by a photograph I thought of all many unanswered questions I still have about this man I called "Pepere". I wondered, where did he work to support his family of 3 boys and his wife, where did he get his genes for being oh so clean all the time, did he have OCD because many of his house cleaning habits lead me to believe he might have been a bit on the OCD side, did he leave knowing he was loved, did he have a favorite color or favorite hobby, how come he was so good with money? I know so little of this man who is now only remembered by a photo in my mind. This got me thinking about life in general and how we all often think so much more of ourselves than we ought. Will anyone even remember anything about me when I pass on? If so, what will it be that they remember most? What I remember most about Pepere is that he loved to make kites, he was very resourceful and clean, he was very skinny, quiet, and wore sweaters all the time. Strange things to remember but there you have it.
All these thoughts led me to this prayer, God teach me to number my days that I might get a heart full of wisdom, that I don't forget that I am but dust, and so that I don't take one single breath for granted.

Photo Shoot with Natalie Rose

These are just some of the products of one of the funnest photo shoots ever!! Usually taking pictures with 6 people(4 of those people being lil and not used to looking the right way) is not my idea of good times , but I have to say this was short and very sweet and the end result is some really fun moments in time. Love it. We really were smiling on the inside as well as the outside.

My Adult Christmas list(and a lame attempt to sound like a credit card commercial)

Wanted: One Bright Green Kitchen Aid
Cost: 250 to 300 dollars
Knowing that I really only want this because it will look so great on my counter and not really for all the stuff I would make with it - Priceless-
Wanted: One brown and black Pug
Cost: 600 to upwards of 1000 dollars
Knowing that I partly want this dog so that I could make an unrealistic dream of a 9 year old girl come true and partly because it would look so stinking cute with my other 2 adorable dogs- Priceless-
Wanted: Bright beautiful Hollywood Style Porcelain Veneers
Cost: 4000+
Knowing that I really just want these so I won't have to go to the dentist anymore, nor will I have to floss ever again and so then I could finally be counted among all the plastic people out there(a goal in life I believe we all should aspire to attain )- Priceless-


I guess knowing that just because I want something doesn't really mean I need it is what makes this an adult Christmas list versus a Juvenile one and that really is priceless :)

A letter of Appeal

I am putting my letter of appeal in the mail today to Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance company. Upon completion of this letter I felt a deep sense of sadness and anger for even having to take the time to do this.
As some of you know our precious Chloe had an appendicitis back in July. It took many months for the final bills to come rolling in and when they did the amount was staggering and our insurance company had failed us miserably because apparently the hospital we went to in a state of panic and shock at 1am in the morning was an out of network hospital. Sorry, it was the light at the end of the tunnel to get my 7 year old daughter some relief, sorry I thought any and all hospitals in a health related emergency is the right hospital. Errghhhh!! So as you can see the anger comes in right there. But the deep sense of sadness that I feel is that I know I am not the only one who has had to deal with similar type situations and some people dealing with these issues are still also dealing with those painful health situations.
Something has got to change in this country regarding our health insurances and medical industries that are raking in the big bucks on account of our misfortunes. Something has got to change and thank God next fall things will. Oh wait, I mean things will be promised , talked about , and then forgotten.
I guess that's where the sadness comes in.

My(long overdue) book review blog

I have recently finished quite a few books that have been on my to-do list for quite a while now.
One that I started many months ago( i think before summer) is , Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by a guy from New York with the last name Scharezo(sp?) This book was so good that I started recommending it to people before I had even finished reading it. It is basically about how often times we forget that our emotions are a very key component to the way that God has formed and fashioned us and although it's not good to live by emotions, it is also not good to ignore them either. We cannot just pass every difficult conversation off by saying, "Just pray about it" sometimes we need to allow for those emotions to be validated and be honest when they haven't gone away. It's about marrying our faith as well as our emotions together in healthy balanced relationship. I give it a ***** 5 star rating out of 5 stars.
The other book I recently finished is one that I heard about on the Oprah show and so for many of you that's all you need to know that you don't want to read this book. It is called, Eat, Pray, Love by a woman whose name I can't remember and it's probably just as well because I wouldn't recommend this book anyways. It is basically about a spiritually starved, very confused woman in her 30's who divorces her husband after 10 years of marriage and decides to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia in an attempt to find herself and her Maker.
She is a very good writer, very good but the contents were filtered with so much confusion and to me sadness that it might leave you depressed afterward if not careful. What I took away was how incredibly grateful I am to my Savoir , for finding me so young so that I didn't have to search the world over for answers only to not really find them at all. It also surprised me of the great lengths that people will go in search of Truth and the enormous lies that are out there in regards to all things spiritual.
I give a ** out of a possible 5 stars only because the book was mostly bones with not meat.
I am now embarking on a new book that I can hardly put down. I only just borrowed it from a friend yesterday and I am almost halfway through it. It is called A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. It is so good already but I will post on it when I am done.
Other irons in the fire right now, I Promise and also Love is a Choice . These two both deal with relationships and have very good as well. I will post on these later when I am done with them.

Loving-kindness

defintion-loving kindness (love without attachment, non-exclusive love) towards all human beings.
If I were to choose something out of the Bible that I have read over and over again but have completely overlooked it would be these two words, Loving-kindness.
How often have I read in the scriptures about God and His loving kindness, or that I should praise Him for His loving kindness? It is a word group that gets overlooked because I think when I would read it I would not slow down to think , What does that really mean? Why is it that those two words grouped together are used more often to describe the God I serve than any other and still I have never slowed down enough to notice.This morning was different. I slowed down and read those words as if I was reading them for the first time and I thought, That is my God's way, His M.O. if you will. If I were to describe God given any 2 words in dictionary would I choose those 2 words? Would you?
After looking those 2 words up on every internet access dictionary that I could find I believe I would choose those words to describe the God that I serve. He is so loving and so kind in His approach of loving me. He doesn't stop showing me love when I walk away and choose to focus my attention elsewhere. He waits. Patiently and expectantly for me to return and then He doesn't hold over my head the mistakes I have made along the way.
His way is loving and kind- loving kindness is what I would say I worship most about Him because this way about Him is the most beautiful way I have ever known.
"The Lord takes pleasure in those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him, in those who Hope in His mercy and loving-kindness" Psalm 147:11
I am glad that His loving-kindness is something I can put my hopes in because I know that He never changes so neither will His M.O.(Mode of Operation)
Now what I am left with wondering is what is my M.O.??

Old Friends and Sweet Moments

This weekend I had the privilege of being invited to one of the most intimate settings , a wedding of an old friend. This friend actually used to be a very young girl that I would babysit along with her two sisters. I remember these girls being little and running around their house in dress ups and make up or sitting down watching Anne of Green Gables and dreaming as all little girls do of the day when they would be grown up like Anne and have suitors coming their way. That day has come in one of their lives and for me it was a very surreal experience to be a part of. The whole time I just kept thinking how did the time go so fast and I didn't even notice. How did she become so grown up and beautiful and distinguished. She is a wife now. No longer a blond haired blue eyed lil girl, she is a woman now. My mind continued to try and think of the day when I will be seeing my own daughters walk down that aisle. I hardly have a slot in my brain for that but this event did help make a slight space for it. It was a beautiful ceremony that was intimate and sweet. Her husband is priceless and hand picked by her maker for sure. It was truly a beautiful day and restored hope I believe for many including myself. There is nothing like young love to restore hope.

What a whirlwind

Lately life just seems to be going way too fast. I don't know if it's that I am getting older and so then I have something to compare to when life was slow or if my days are so full with fun but I wish I could just stop the clock sometimes. My children are all at such a fun age and it is truly hard for me to phathom that my oldest will be 10 this spring. I am not ready for them to start hitting the double digits, well... maybe I am . All I know is that it just seems like yesterday that I was living in a house in Carson City on Minnesota street and all my days were consumed with is whether Emma had enough to eat, when her next poop was coming and if I got a good night sleep the night before. Now, here I am almost 10 years later and my days are filled with, "Mom did you wash that shirt last night, what are you making for dinner, do we get hot lunch today mom, did you sign my paper, don't forget I have honor choir today, and so on...."
My life is so rich. Sometimes I feel I am the richest woman in the world. There are not enough material treasures to compare to the richness of children. This weekend I actually thought before leaving to go out of town for a few days by myself(well, with a bunch of girlfriends actually) that I was going to miss out on all the fun that the family was going to have. Didn't stop me from going but it was so nice to come home.

And then there were 2

My dogs, Baxter and Bella are so funny, truly they make me smile. They sit upon the chair in front of our living room window and I firmly believe they think they rule the world from this chair. It gives them special doggie powers. They look down the end of our the road and bark at everything,(something that we are trying to change with a squirt bottle, not alot of success so far) and I do mean everything. A leaf falling from the tree, a cat strolling by, kids, adults, cars, birds, butterflies, etc...... There is one bark, accompanied with growling and whole lot of jumping straight up and down, that is a sure sign to us all that the true bully of the neighborhood is on our front lawn. The bully- is a lil itty bitty Chihuahua(think taco bell dog all the way) which I do believe is truly a dog bully. He runs around the neighborhood, roaming freely, with no collar and when stopped by other dogs on leashes he kicks up his back legs like a bull ready to charge at you and then runs away. Normally, he comes and pees on my lawn and then does his little bull dance, gets my doggies in a fully hysterical state and then prances away. ONE of these days I might just let them loose and then we shall see what happens to the bully. In the meantime I love to see my dogs , sitting upon their chair ruling the world.

Today

I am thankful for my beautiful tree outside that has EXPLODED with colors that are so beautiful I don't even think a professional artist could pinpoint this color exactly. I am thankful for my gentle giant who not only let me sleep in but made me a scrumpous sandwich. He IS the whole package :) I am thankful for my dogs who have the cutest lil butts with spots , one with brown, one with black. I know its sounds crazy but they make me happy. I am thankful for a new book, "Eat, Pray, Love" looking forward to diving into it. I am thankful for good music. I am thankful for crazy kids home from school making all kinds of noise that I love to hear. I am thankful for LIFE. My life.

New Tattoo

These flowers plus a sunflower on my back. Can't decide if I want them across my shoulder blades or up and down?? They represent the women in my life who have changed me forever. I might do the sunflower on my pointer finger on my left hand for my birthday and then I would exclude that one from my back. Dunno yet. Anyone know of really good tattoo artists here in Reno or Sparks? I don't think I will be going back to Slick Rick in Sparks.

This is our moment

I heard it said recently, in regards to our lives that we are given, "This is our moment". We have all heard similar things like, "You only get one life to live, live it well" or "There are no dress rehearsals in life" and I am sure there are many, many other ways to say this but for some reason when I heard , "This is our moment" it struck a chord in me that is still resonating. This is my time to go up to bat for life here on this earth and I can either swing well and keep on swinging or not swing at all. Recently I have been asking God to teach me to number my days. This is something that I believe to be a divine gift and not something that is easy for us humans to do well because we all feel like we are going to live forever, because we ARE eternal but our lives here, on this earth, and in this way are very much not eternal and yet somehow we think there will always be tomorrow. I don't want to think like that anymore. I want to do the things in my heart that I am passionate about, I want to love deeper and more sincerely, and invest more in those who will still be here when my time is up. I am so thankful this morning for the gift of gratefulness. I think it is truly a gift to be grateful for every single thing in this life. The good and the bad. I am grateful that I have all that I have and that I no longer look anywhere else for peace and contentment but to my Creator who knows me better than I know myself. I am grateful, SO grateful for my relationships. All of them are a blessing not to be taken for granted and the most precious of them all is the one I think I most often take for granted. The fact that I am a beloved child of God, adopted into a family that was never my own until someone chose me to be is something I am sad to say that at times I take for granted. I chose to blog about this because today when I read in Psalm 90, this is what it said " Our iniquities, our secret heart and its sins,(which we would so like to conceal even from ourselves), You have set in the revealing light of Your countenance. For all the days (out here in this wilderness or on this earth) pass away; we spend our years as a tale that is told(for we adults know we are doomed to die soon) The days of our years are three score years and ten(70) or even, if by reason of strength, fourscore years(80) yet is their pride (in additional years) only labor and sorrow, for it is soon gone, and we fly away. Who knows the power of your anger?(Who worthily connects this brevity of life with Your recognition of sin?) And your wrath, who connects it with the reverent and worshipful fear that is due You? SO TEACH US TO NUMBER OUR DAYS, THAT WE MAY GET US A HEART OF WISDOM.
Make us glad in proportion to the days in which You have given us and the years in which we suffered for evil(or the years we chose wrong instead of right). Let your works(signs of your power) be revealed to Your servants, and Your (glorious) majesty to thier children. And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands-yes, the work of our hands, confirm and establish it. "Psalm 90:8-17
What are the works of my hands? What am I pouring my life into? Will whatever it is really matter at the end?
To me it was by no mistake that I read these words today. I know that God is teaching me something here. I know that I still have pride in my heart that needs to be removed and replaced with the humbleness that comes when you realize that we are but a breath.
God help me.

I apologize in advance for this.....

REDSOX PRAYER

Our Father, who art at Fenway...Baseball be thy game.TheyKingdom come,Playoffs need to be won,On Earth, then on to the Cask 'n' Flagon.Give us this day, a perfect Papi,And forgive us our losses,As we forgive those,Like Bill Buckner.And lead us not, into desperation,But deliver us from any losses.For thine is the Power,And the Glory,To beat the Indians,Forever and ever....the Yankees suck

A-men

I found these to be quite humorous and thought I would share. Wow, SOME fans are so radical.

Just a question?

This morning while burping my niece Savanah, I had this thought...Why do we burp babies the way that we do? Why do we pat them on the back until they burp? What does patting them on the back actually do? I have done this motion for countless years without even a thought as to why I am doing it ,until now. Why do we burps babies the way that we do?
Makes me wonder how many other things I do in my life without asking why?

Happy 6th Birthday Solomon

Happy Birthday Solo- Man, Solid Man, Shal om, So lo min. In the 6 years that you have walked this earth you have proven to be such a beautiful person. I love you.

I am SO excited, AND I just can't hide it!!!

Ah Yeah Baby, it's game time in my home of origin. Mom's a Bo sox's fan, Dad's a serious Angels fan and has won over some of my weaker siblings to the dark side. Dad, Gina, and Israel will be sporting the Angels hats meanwhile I will remain true to the Bo Sox's. This is going to be serious fun.


"It's game time, it's October," pronounced right-hander Curt Schilling. "This is when great players play great, and hopefully, we have a couple of those guys in this clubhouse."
"We have more things to do, but there's no getting around how excited we are," said manager Terry Francona, seated with a cigar in hand just a few feet outside his office. "This was a very big accomplishment for the organization, for the city, we need it to just be the beginning. But it's a big accomplishment."

Why I am a faithful fan........

I must take a moment to say why I could never ever turn my back on the team that will win the MLB playoffs THIS YEAR!!! That's right, I said it.

My family on my moms side is as true blooded Red Sox's nation as they come. Her mom, my gram was actually cousins with Rocky Marchiano who lived in Brockton Mass, while my gram, mom and family lived nearby in Braintree Mass.The east coast and all things Massachusetts will always be near and dear to my heart because my beloved of all grandparents was born and raised there, the woman who gave me life was born there,and many of my cousins, aunts and uncles, great aunts and uncles still live there and well.....it is the home of my heart. I identify with the culture, people, traditions, and basically have just been really blessed to say that I have a proud heritage there. Not something many can claim.

Although I jest all in good fun, I will never be a turncoat and go Yankee even if close friends happened to choose the wrong team to play on. Even if my own husband doesn't share my enthusiasm, this is a team that I will remain true to til the day I die.

So put up your dukes, I am ready to fight....it runs in my blood after all!!!!

DISCLAIMER- THIS BLOG IS MEANT TO CAUSE A REACTION, IF YOU FIND YOUR HEART RACING WITH COMPETITIVE BEATS YOU MAY NEED TO TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO PICK A BETTER BASEBALL TEAM :)

My Neighbors

I came home this morning from dropping all my kids off at school and my dog, Baxter was waiting ever so patiently for me on the front lawn. At first I thought thats wierd how did he get out and then I looked over to our side gate and realized that someone(a taller someone) had unlatched it. Now normally I don't think up conspiracy theories like this but my neighbors are quite the unfriendly people type who have literally avoided any social contact with all of us except for yelling at my son Sol when we first moved in to get off thier lawn. I have also literally seen them with my own eyes pick up leaves that are from our tree and by hand remove them from thier bushes and place them back over on our side of the property. These neighbors are older and never have visitors. THE only time I see them are when they are out trimming thier rose bushes and they don't speak to anyone so it's not like I have my feelings hurt or anything. I waffle back and forth all the time whether I should "kill em with kindness" as my grandmother used to always say or just go on ignoring them as they ignore me. It is hard to ignore though when they do such nasty things. I know what Jesus says so please don't go preachy on me anyone. I just needed a place to vent my frustrations about these old farts!!! Okay, I know that wasn't nice but seriously who does this kinda stuff other than farts or turkeys, maybe turkeys is a better word.

Newest Member of our Family, 64 VW Bug

We purchased a 64 VW Bug about 2 months back and this weekend I finally got to take it for several spins. I have to say that of all the VW models the bug is my all time favorite. The very first car I ever owned was a 69 VW Bug and so of course they are near and dear to my heart. I just fit so well in a Bug and it feels as though you are driving in the road rather than on it, kinda like a canoe in water. I haven't named him yet but when I do you will be the first to know. I am pretty sure that he is going to be root beer brown though my all time favorite color for bugs is red. I have saved that color for my dream car which would be a convertible VW Bug at least about 65 or older. Anyway when I post some picks you all can put in your 2cents worth for names the guy until then you will hear us coming.

These are a few of my favorite things.....

When the bugs RED, When the love flows, When the friends are great..... I simply remember my favorite things , and then I don't feel so bad.