Sunday, January 01, 2006

Some lessons learned

"All true leaders have learned to say NO to the good in order to say YES to the best" John Maxwell
This quote got me thinking of how much I have had to change over the years in this area. I used to say yes to almost everything so as to please, and appease everyone. Being a person who likes to make everyone happy, keep everything and everyone copesetic was who I used to be. I came by this people pleasing lifestyle genetically as my mother is a true blue people pleaser. We prefer the Pollyana version of life.
Recently, though I have had to change(alot) Change is not normally something I embrace.
Although I know it is good for me it is so hard. It's not that I like things to stay the same it's just that when there is so much change I get this very unsettling feeling. This past year though I had no choice in the matter. God took the drivers seat and brought two moves, weddings, deaths, 2nd born entering kindergarten, new job, new friends, and many more changes too countless to list them all. So with all those changes it was either stick my feet in the sand and have a crappy attitude or embrace them with the grace that only God gives for those changes. I chose the latter.
In the process though I have realized a few important things. One, is that people pleasing is for the birds. Still, I fall back into wanting so much to go there but I am reminded continually to live for an audience of ONE. This is the struggle. Learning to say yes only to the best and no to the good. The good sometimes presents itself as the best but when looked at closely is not always the best possible scenario.
Take for instance this holiday season my giant and I took some vacation time. Well before the time even got off to a start an old family friend asked for a favor , if her son could stay with us for a few days because he was taking lifeguarding lesson in Sparks and needed a place to stay since they live in Dayton. Now, before I wouldv'e said yes in an instant because this seemed the right thing to do, to help this friend but instead I remembered to prefer my husband above others and ask him first. I said yes to the best and no to the good. I think she hates me now(just kidding) I probably did upset her but I realized that God knew what was ahead for us and He led me in the right direction(as He always does)
Another thing I realized is how my family is affected by what I say yes and no to is what I have begun to realize is the reason why you say no to the good. They are the ones that are most directly affected by my life choices and so I want to choose the right ones always for them. I know that as I show my love for them in this I love Jesus in the process.

Whether or not this makes me a true leader remains to be seen.
I do hope to lead my life in such a way as to please only ONE. I hope I get better and better at this as the years go by.


TPluckyT said...

I've been trying to learn the same lesson, Noel. I believe this is extremely important if we are to live a life of excellence.

digapigmy said...

i have had to work and struggle just to discover that the word "no" can come out of my mouth. it's funny because it doesn't come out of a motivation to please people (or at least not all people). i'm not quite sure where it comes from - perhaps an overinflated sense of responsibility.

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