Good News, be it ever so small

Today while I was preparing to take some preschoolers out for play I found a ring I thought I had lost. I went to put my gloves on and there it was. I had been whining about losing this ring for weeks now. I had asked my kids to be looking around for it and I had just felt sick over losing it.

I bought this ring for myself at Genoa's Candy Dance a few years back and it was one of my most favorite rings. When I came home from grocery shopping a few weeks back I realized it was no longer on my finger and after retracing my steps I thought it must have fallen off at Winco or something and I was so bummed. 

But alas, all this time it was in my glove!! I was happy to say the least.

Then when I got home from picking up my kiddos today I was happy to see that my hubby got off work early and being as how I throughly enjoy that man's company and can never seem to get enough of it I was glad for the time together.

After that my treasure friend Allie called with some even more good news that only a friend like her could give me. (Those of you who know her, she did not tell me she was pregnant)

Finally, tonight while hanging out with hubby we got some very good news for him about his recent Ink career and all I have to say is that in this life when you are given good days like this you just have to take a moment and give a shout out to the giver of ALL good things.

Whoot woot!! or Hallelujah!! (which ever floats your boat)

Life sometimes really doesn't make sense

 I have one friend who is fighting for her life again for the fourth time against brain cancer and then on the other hand I have a friend who recently took her life by hanging herself in her garage. She left behind 2 daughters 12 and 9.  I have another friend who is at Standford right now with her daughter who is fighting against cancer. Another friend who has banked her whole financial life and world on her hubbies financial adventures. I have another friend who is struggling in a marriage that was built on lies. 

Jesus help them all please because you know all I can do is ask the impossible from you and be me in the meantime and I know I am not enough.

Processing

I have always had a tough time processing things quickly. Whether it's the news of a friend or some news on the Television, I take a long time to process things. I especially take a bit longer than that when something directly affects someone I deeply care for or even more time when something has happened to me personally. As I get older I am realizing that I have never done anything quickly, except maybe getting married. So it's not surprising to those of you who know me. Last year there were quite a lot of things that my brain just couldn't wrap around and understand and so I began to check out in a very unhealthy way. It was a rough year for pretty much everyone I know. In some way, shape, or form everyone I knew was having a tough time so again, my issues I didn't want to bother anyone else with or give them yet another problem that needed to be solved. So I got quiet, took lots of naps, and began to shut down. There were some friends who noticed even over the phone that I didn't sound the same. I am sure I needed to be on medication but because we didn't have insurance(still don't until Feb 11th) I haven't been to a doctor.

When I get upset my whole life ever since I can remember the way I deal with being really upset is to go to my nice, warm, comfy bed and take a long nap. It seems as though after a nice long nap everything gets better. That's how I process. Slowly with lots of naps. I also process things by cleaning, but that's usually just my M.O. when I am angry. If I get really angry I clean like a mad woman. Literally.  

I think the way we process life is so interesting. I know that my mom processes by talking. She loves to talk. She talks when she's nervous, happy, sad, angry. She's a talker. I know that my dad processes by going and listening to his music. He puts his headset on and listens away the day or night. 

I am wondering how do you process things?  I am also wondering can you change the way you process life? Is that just something that is part of our genetic makeup that can't be changed? I would really like to process a bit quicker. Maybe not stew on things for quite so long. It seems anytime I try to rush my processing department I have a major malfunction so I don't know that it is something I can mess with. I would however like to be one of those people who takes a long run or uses exercise to process. It is not the first reaction I have when things don't make sense. My going to take a nap is like a knee jerk response. 

Anyway, I am processing a lot already in this new year. There is already some news from several friends that I am stewing over. Praying for them. I came home yesterday and did take a short nap to help myself but today I am wondering is there a better way to process?

My book and freaking Artist's who are freaking flaky

I have had my first real frustration with this book deal.  My publishers called about a week ago and informed me that they were still interested and were just wondering if I was still waiting on an artist. I told them yes, that I was probably going to fire this artist because although he is very talented he has been a bit of a slacker. 

The problem lies with the fact that this was an artist from Mo's work and I didn't want to make things weird for him. So I tactfully asked what the status was on his work and he informed that it was the same as last time, which is pretty much nothing. He had a few ideas but basically he has done nothing since we spoke at Christmas.

Well, I was not too upset because during this time I realized that another person I know would make a fabulous children's illustrator and so I asked her if the job comes back to me if she would be interested. She said yes, and so I hired her on the spot. 

I am hoping to have the 5 pages they need of illustrations done by the end of this month and to get this ball rolling once again.

I told the previous artist that once I am raking in the dough I won't gloat too much :)

Simplify

I have decided to simplify. I started a few weeks back when I couldn't wait to be done with school just so that I could clean my house, and it hasn't stopped.  I am now getting rid of all these items that I have way too much of; Bowls, Mugs, Shoes, Clothes, Home Decor, Toys, toys, and more toys, more clothes, Sheets and blankets, Little trinkets that I hate dusting, Decorative Plates, All household items that I haven't used in over a year, and Picture frames.

IF there is anything that is on that list you are in need of please let me know otherwise by the end of this month it will be given to Savers. I just brought three GIANORMOUS  bags there today and it felt so good.

Part of my need for simplifying was because I just need to get my house clean after a semester of just being consumed with school, work, and everything else BUT my house. Part of my need to simplify is also because with 6 people in any household under 2000 sq. feet you just have to keep it simple. My house is only 1698 sq. feet and you better believe we use every inch and are grateful for every inch. And finally the last reason for this ever pressing need to simplify is because of a recent article I read in O magezine, (yes I know I already mentioned the magazine before but hey, it was a good one) it was titled , Back to Basics and it was about all these people who are becoming minimalist's by choice. I know (unlike my sister Jenny) that I will probably never truly achieve this state of being but, that doesn't mean that I am not going to die trying.

So Jen- I am right there with ya. I am trying to pretend that if I was moving right now how much of the crap that I have accumulated over the past almost 4 years in this house, would I be getting rid of. Then I am also getting rid of all things that I don't truly need, use, or otherwise really value enough to be taking up some of my precious space.

Chloe

My daughter Chloe has always been the most sensitive child I own : ) Ever since the day we were bringing her home from the hospital and she started crying when we put her in the car seat, we knew she was not going to be the Tigger type personality that her older sister Emma had. When she was a baby and I would sing this little sweet song to her with her name in it, she would slowly pucker up and cry. I would have thought is was my voice if it weren't for having Emma who loved my singing. The music would make her cry. She would cry from loud noises, scary faces, happy faces with loud voices, you name it, she would more often than  not be found crying. She was also the only one of my four who became very attached to her blanket that she tenderly named her "Monkey", don't ask me why there was no monkey on the thing anywhere. 

Well through the 8 years of this sweet ones life we have had more than one occasion of having to sit her down and tell her that, "Everything is going to be okay, nobody died, take a deep breath, re-group" those kinds of things you say to calm a child down who is irrationally upset over something as silly as dropping her toothbrush on the floor. Although, now that I know her better dropping her toothbrush on the floor IS a big deal. She is a bit of a clean freak and by that I mean, she is cleaner than me.

Anyway, I am extremely upset tonight over the fact that of all the kids I have, with all their varied personalities, she is the one who seems to end up with the short end of the stick when it comes to mean kids who say mean things.

She has been told before that she has "Dumbo ears" that she is "Fat" and who knows what else that has been said to her that she doesn't tell me about.

Tonight we had to have a discussion again about how beautiful she is and how perfect her Heavenly Father has made her. It  just makes me so pissed off that I have to combat such ugly words spoken over her so early. It makes me angry for the lies that come from the "Father of lies" right from the get go to come against us. 

It reminds me of a children's story written by Max Lucado. It's about the Wemmick's and how they go around sticking either stars or dots on everyone depending on whether they are a "good" Wemmick or not. Dots for not, stars for good. It's a great book called, You Are Special. The main character Punchinello is not a "good" Wemmick so he has lots of dots. Until one day he meets a girl who surprisingly has no stickers at all, dots or stars, she has nothing. When he asks her why she doesn't have any stickers she says it's because she goes to meet with her maker Eli everyday and then the stickers just don't stick.

It also makes me realize that my Lo Lo is one amazing young lady who has had to fight hard for her little life already and that makes me think some really great, great things are in store for her. My prayer is that her heart will somehow hear stronger and louder the voice of her maker and that she will hear the truth from Him.

Oprah and Me

I , on occasion indulge myself in two magazine purchases. One of them is People, of course I know full well how silly this magazine is but I enjoy it anyway, and the other is Oprah or O magazine. I know that last one is shocker right? I really do think her magazine is one of the best out there.

Anyway, this month's issue immediately caught my eye because as an occasional viewer of her show I have noticed that she has been going up in size and like the rest of the world I was wondering what the heck was going on. I was sad to find that it was due to some health problems and unbalance in her life and it made me think about my own weight issues that I have dealt with my whole life.

Then last night  the episode on the O show that day was her personal interview of herself speaking about "what the heck happened" to her this time. I sat down after the kids were all in bed and I was surprised by how emotional I got watching her show. Again, I think this episode hit home because of my own issues, but also I felt very sad again for her. It's funny how you can become so intrigued and interested in a person you have never met but I am and I was very sad for her. 

Anyway, there I was balling like a baby and thinking what is going on here? I think what really hit home was when her friend, Bob Greene looked at her and basically said that he thought she might be suffering from a mild case of depression. I knew that was exactly what had happened to me. These past few months pretty much since my coming home from Europe last year in March, I have been in a battle against this ugly monster called depression.

I know why I was depressed which really helps but that didn't seem to change any of the ways I was dealing with this depression. I am most certainly and emotional eater. This becomes quite evident to me when I am eating unconsciously or without reservation.

I had before the New Year began decided that I really needed to get back to exercising regularly and eating better which I was doing before we went on break but then I totally got off the wagon, Again!! 

So here I am once again dealing with this issue of not really being so concerned about my weight but healthy living. I have never in my entire life consistently for more than a year had a healthy way of eating, exercising and just otherwise being human. 

I am determined to once again learn from this hiccup along the road of health and take away what I can from it. I am still very discouraged with myself for letting it get this bad, and although I am not Oprah who went over 200 pounds again I am for my body not feeling as great as I could. 

I want to get really good at this healthy living not only for my sake but for my daughters who are quickly approaching an age that really picks up on any underlying unhealthy weight issues.

I want to be a good example to them in this area. I want to do this for myself though because it really comes down to making time for yourself which I think every mom and dad knows that can be hard to do. It means I have to make some changes, adaptations, sacrifices that might affect others but is primarily for me, myself and I.

I am determined, I am stubborn, I am tenacious and God help me,  I will do this!!

My mom's socks box

Tonight while cleaning up Christmas and New Year events and also doing lots of laundry all day, I was remembering something that my mom used to do with socks. In our house there was 6 of us and then 7, at one point more than that depending on how many people my mom invited to live with us at the time. Anyway, that's besides the point of my blog here. 

My mom used to keep a socks box for all the mismatched socks. It was generally found in the hall closet with the towels and all the other general population items of the Pellant house , like toilet paper ,towels, and such. I remember when I was younger that this socks box was the source of either great discontent or satisfaction depending on whether or not I found the sock I was looking for. I remember when I was younger being so frustrated with my mom for not knowing where all the socks were in the whole house. How could she put just one sock in my room without the other. How could she not know where everything was at all times. I thought when I was younger that this socks box was more just her laziness in not putting all our socks together and in our room. Why couldn't she have put them all neatly in my drawer folded together and organized like all the other mom's did? Why did she just throw all the socks in the box and call it a day??

Funny how your perspective changes as you age, have children of your own, and have done thousands upon thousands of loads of laundry. A little perspective is always a good thing.

Tonight while sorting and cleaning I thought, my mom was a genius she had a place for the most annoying things on the planet = mismatched socks. 

There is no moral to this story other than I have done some growing up(at least I think I have) and have now a new perspective on my mom's socks box. 

I will now have one of my own. 

I hope my kids will think the same of me someday as I do of my mom right now.