Thursday, April 24, 2014

9 more months

In 9 more months I will turn 40 years old.
9 months is a significant amount of time.
It's enough time for the average pregnancy.
It's enough time for a school year to be complete.
It's about the amount of months it takes a baby to look this cute.

40 years, now that is certainly a significantly larger amount of time.
That is half an average lifetime.
It is a number that meant a lot to some Israelites thousands of years ago as they wandered the desert in search of the Promise land.
Seriously, I can't believe they wandered for 40 YEARS!?!
I'd be like,
 "Excuse me but does somebody know where we are going, cause I gotta go pee?!!"

It's a very long amount of time in a marriage. Most marriages, more than 75% never reach that number.
And it's a heck of a LOT longer than this little guy has been on the planet. He's got 39 and 1/2 more years to go to catch up with me.

If I'm fortunate enough to have another 40 years I will leave this world thinking some of the same things I am thinking today.

Did I live my life to the fullest possible measure that I could have?
And the answer will be the same as it is today.
No, I haven't and No, I didn't.

It won't be for lack of trying, but simply because there is only so much one life can hold.
I'm okay with knowing now at almost 40 years old that there are some things in this life time I was given that will just never come to pass for me.
I was told once from a very close friend who was diagnosed with Brain Cancer that if you live like every day was your last you very quickly go crazy. 
So I just determined to be o.k. with the present moment.
I mean to be really o.k. with where you are and what you are doing, even if you want to change some things, there is just so much freedom in this.

But these beauties they have the whole word ahead of them.
I hope at least to live long enough to see these lovely young women grow to be amazing older women in their 40's.

I think this train of thought is the reason for many a mid-life crisis. 
All of sudden we hear the clock ticking and we freak out on the inside just a bit, and then freak out on the outside a whole lotta bit!!
I'm thankful that somewhere in my heart I have peace about turning 40.
I'm not saying that I don't think mid-life cray cray thoughts from time to time, but I'm just able to keep that crazy in a bottle until it passes.
This lil guy is CRAZY CUTE!! 
Don't you agree?

I have started to ask a different question.

The question I am asking myself today and one that I will ask myself on my dying day is...
But, did I leave the world a better place?
That's all any person can ever hope to accomplish in one lifetime.
Making it a little bit better for the ones they leave behind.

Because I'm a mom of 4 kids I think about the future generations on a regular basis and I wonder things like...
What will it be like for my children when they are 40?
Will I still be here?
Will there be flying cars?
Will the world look so unfamiliar that it will frighten me ?

What I know about the future is only this, I will have to leave this earth someday and I pray my footprint is one of faith, hope, and love. 
Here's to almost turing 40!


shontell said...

I can answer that already about you. Yes already yes.

No(dot dot)el said...

Awe shucks Queenie!! I appreciate your vote of confidence.

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