She made me a mom for the first time 15 years ago.
She came early to this world and had impeccable timing.
She came right after her Auntie Hillary tragically passed away at the young age of 29.
She brought hope and life to our sad and grieving hearts.
She sings with a voice that sounds like a woman twice her age.
She is beyond responsible.
She is a first born, through and through.
She has big, BIG dreams.
She has beautiful green eyes that change colors with what she wears.
She has confidence and personality for days.
She does a wicked Bon Qui Qui imitation.
And an English accent that would fit right in if she was in ... Oh I dunno Essex ;)
Is she not the cutest 15 year old you have ever seen?
She is a really good writer.
She is almost done with her first year of High School and she rocked it!
She carries a back pack so heavy, so big that I wonder how it doesn't just knock her over.
She is a daddy's girl, but I know I take a close second.
She will be driving soon... sigh.
And changing the world, one song at a time... of this I have no doubt.
But this is how we started out....
And sometimes if I close my eyes I can still remember that amazing newborn baby smell that intoxicated me with a LOVE that will never end. I can hardly believe I've been blessed to have this gifted soul for 15 years.
She is the Punky Brewster of fashion in this family and we
adore her for it.
Does this look like an Honor Student to you?
Well, believe it or don't, last night I was at my daughter Chloe's Jr. Honor Society ceremony, and one of the speakers shared this quote from Dr. Suess ;
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
It got me thinking about how much I adore Dr. Suess.
The simple words he puts in poetic motion really do cut right down to the heart of the matter.
(Enter song- "I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter.. but I think it's about
Forgiveness, Forgiveness " )
Boy do my thoughts ever seem to scatter these days.
Sorry random song interruption there.
Where were we?
Oh right, Dr Suess... well I thought about that quote up there, and then I thought what an important message for young people to hear.
Heck, that's an important message for Old People such as myself to hear!
Not just to hear it, but to know, really KNOW, that without a doubt there is a special thumbprint given to each and everyone of us.
I thought about another quote
"Comparison is the killer of Creativity"
I think that was Einstein who said that. ( ?)
He was another smart man.
Then my thoughts traveled back to earlier in the day when all my kids were home and my daughter Em had a friend over and we got talking about the job of being a model and how difficult it would be to have that as a career because you are constantly being compared to others and judged for your looks.
What a shame that we don't have this message that Dr. Suess preached, ingrained, imbedded in our hearts as well as our heads.
Think of how different our world would be if we all really understood, really grasped the concept of how truly unique each person was made.
Created to be an individual.
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
So
This is me...
Telling you...
go on now, get your groove thing on.
Find a Rhythm.
Your rhythm.
And sing it out loud and proud.
ROCK ON!!
Oh and know that you are LOVED beyond measure...
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
I have a few things I need to get off my ... well my chest, I guess?
I've never really understood that expression, have you?
1. Speaking of Chests I would get rid of mine if I didn't think it would devastate a certain Giant in my life. Fer realz. What a pain in the ass boobs are!!
Sorry, TMI... I'm just sayin!!
2. My heart is in a fragile state of affairs. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the next 4 weeks moving back to so many beloveds but moving away from dearly love- eds as well.
That whole sentence up there made me think of PRINCE...any Prince fans in the house?
Dearly Beloved....
Torn in two.
Sad and Happy.
Sappy(as Isaiah likes to call it)
How can the two co-inside?
How is it that in 4 short years I have been so incredibly blessed to know such amazing people?
3. Sometimes when I listen to music like this
I get all weepy.
Also
4. I really love this girl
She's gonna have a baby soon....
Eeeeek!!
Super excited for you Alex ;)
5. I have not gone to the gym in like ... 3 weeks.
Here's the part where I tell you WE are moving back to Nevada.
Sigh.
After almost 4 years of living in Washington, the Evergreen state, it appears that the not so Green State... I mean the Silver State has called us back.
Sigh.
Here's the part where I tell you I feel a lot like that flower up there.
Broken Open
and
Fully Bloomed.
And here's the part in my life story where I tell you that this quote is a description of what the past 4 years has been.
"There came a time when the risk to remain tight
in the bud was more painful than the risk it took
to blossom."
Anais Nin
The risk, the pain, it's all played a part in bringing us where we are today.
It was a risk to come up here and we didn't know if it would be one worth taking, but we took it anyways.
It was too painful for us to watch our home be taken away from us that's why we left.
We walked away very slowly from all that we knew, from all that was familiar.
In the time that we have been here, we have played the role of foreigner, and we have been blessed to be placed in families.
The word hospitality has taken on a WHOLE new meaning.
Here's the funny part,
to move back to Nevada used to seem like it would be a failure, but here's the part where we get to say,
We tried and we didn't fail because at least we can say we tried.
We took the leap of faith.
We sprang forward into a foreign land.
We imagined a very different life for our little family.
And it was good.
It was really good.
We feel stronger now.
We know the depths and the heights of this place.
And in the end it's just a place.
Whether we loved it, or hated it, it's just a place.
Life has a funny way of bringing everything full circle.
The main reason we had a spring board to leave Nevada was due to the foreclosure of our third home.
Many of you stood by our sides when we were robbed by Bank of America.
Many of you were robbed too.
Here's the part where it has turned full circle, not only are we moving back to Nevada for an incredible opportunity, but
this past week, we received a check from Bank of America.
A tiny piece of some retribution from the Bank that stole our home from us, but not our lives.
This whole blog post and life analogy could just be that I had only one cup of coffee, before 7 am and while I was driving around having this profound realization, I may or may not have been coherent.
Early, early yesterday morning after I had dropped off the the bigger spawn at school, I got caught at the ETERNAL light. Ya know those stop lights that without a doubt are THE longest stop lights in town?
Well, there I was getting ready to be there for a good long sit when I happened to see two little birdies in the middle section of the road.
They caught my eye because one was safely in the planter part of this intersection, no doubt looking in the dirt for worms and one was right there in the road, very close to cars and picking through the gutter. As I sat and watched them, I thought well maybe these two are a duo. Like one gets the worms from the dirt and the other gets the garbage from the gutters for their nest?
I may be giving these pea brained birds a bit more thought than what is reality, but hear me out.
Just for fun!
I warned you, one cup of coffee before 7 am can do funny things to ones psyche ;)
So, as I observed closer I saw the one in the gutter actually trying to eat the cigarette buts and other pieces of trash. Like he was actually checking to see if they were edible.
And here's where the life analogy comes in.
Ignore the fact that I called them pea brained earlier.
The way I saw it was like this, the one in the dirt was looking in the right place for his morning meal.
He was safe in the dirt looking for that big fatty worm that he no doubt would get.
But the one in the gutter, well it just didn't make sense.
Maybe he'd been hit by one too many sliding glass doors or windshields?
Too far?
Well, I'm just saying it really made me wonder!
It reminded me of how often in life we get our meals for our souls from the gutters of the world instead of from God's own heart.
We eat lies instead of truth.
We scrounge around for trash rather than eating a T-bone steak.
We hang out in dangerous gutters looking for something, anything that is edible and we eat the disposable crap that has been thrown away, when every morning we could have fresh baked bread, or a fat worm in this lil pea brained birds case.
Does any of this make any sense at all?
Yes?
No?
Ok maybe I needed more coffee.
But, if you are tracking what I'm laying down then let me just say, I don't want to be that dumb pea brained bird in the gutter.
Who's with me?
"Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap, or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.
Do you see that look he's giving me in the above photo... well that doesn't even come close to the one he gave me this morning.
I hope this lil story makes you laugh.
Beloved reader, We could use a laugh right about now don't cha think?
I still can't believe I did this to my oh so sweet Prince Solomon.
I am confessing it here to you now beloved reader, in hopes of forgiveness, absolution, and wishful thinking that someone else out there has made a similar mistake.
Please, would you be so kind as to make up some similar stories of embarrassing moments with your kids if you haven't done something so stupid in your parenting career?
That's right, just lie to me and make me feel better would ya?!!
I said Please.
Ok so here goes nothing.
Wait.
First a little back story.
For those of you out there who are moms of boys there is a certain age that our sons embark on (usually around double digits) where it is no longer ok to point out anything that has to do with a certain area of their bodies, our bodies, anyone's bodies.
Even the word bodies might be reason enough for a conviction from them.
Those of you who have sons, KNOW exactly what I'm talking about.
The nether regions are off limits for Moms of boys in double digits.
You just DON't go there.
Netherlands with 11 year old BOYS + Moms who are GIRLS= OFF LIMITS!!
I have taken great measures not to embarrass my boys, BUT in my defense,
I come from a long line of talk-ers.
A long line of just saying what needs to be said-ers.
A long line of .... well My Mom Ellen...
Enough said.
Ok moving on.
Here's the story
Every Friday morning I volunteer at my children's school in the library.
Before you judge me for this here Faux Pas, just remember I VOLUNTEER!!
That should count for something, somewhere shouldn't it?
Actually, shhh don't tell but the real reason I'm there every Friday morning is because I dig the kids school librarian. She is ... well she's awesome, and I just like to hang out with her. So, I do.
Every Friday.
I love Fridays.
Every Friday me and my boys drive into school together which gives us more time to get ready and of course more time to talk. (Really, more time for them to goof off, but let's just stay on the wishful thinking notion here)
The rest of the week they have very different schedules so
I treasure this time with my boys every Friday morning.
I know in the not so distant future Friday mornings with my boys will NOT BE so we take our time.
Once we get there we walk into school together and we say good bye usually right there at the entrance of the school.
Isaiah goes off to his class and Solomon goes with me into the office where I sign in and he prepares for morning announcements. Oh right, you might not know this but my son Solomon he's the school President(Big Man on Campus) so he does morning announcements with 3 other student council members. The Vice President Brett who is Sol's best friend, and two girls.
So that brings us to today.
Sol goes off and gets the announcements ready, I'm signing in and getting my badge and then I turn to say goodbye just like I do every Friday.
He's sitting down across from the two girls who help with announcements and so I know I can't give him a mushy kiss and hug goodbye, or say things like ; "Did you remember to wear deodorant today son?"
No.
I can't and don't say that.
BUT,
Here's what I did say;
"Ok buddy, I love you, have a great day, and
X Y Z!!!"
No sooner had the words come out of my mouth then I realized what
A
H U G E
NO
NO
those three little letters would be in mixed company.
X Y Z!!!
Ugh....
How could I be so NOT observant?
Poor Solomon.
He looked up at me like as if to say,
"Really MOM??!!"
At which point I totally just thought it would be best to turn and walk away.
I started it this morning when I read the quote below,
and then came back to it this afternoon after the Boston bombings. And now here I sit this evening with this post that in a matter of 8 hours has taken on a whole new meaning. If you want the bullet point version of this post here it is;
-God is good.
In every season.
-God is still good.
- When bad things happen,God is still on the throne.
-In the Winter and in the Spring,
one thing remains;
God and His faithfulness.
Here's the quote that got this train of though rolling;
"The joyful birds prolong the strain,
their song with every spring renewed;
the air we breathe, and the falling rain,
each softly whispers:
GOD IS GOOD."
John Hampden Gurney
The above quote reminds me of two things;
1.)Seasons are important,
and
B.)The present moment is a gift.
Whether it is in the Winter or the Spring.
Present aka Gift.
Oh and
D.) Am I listening long enough, well enough to always be hearing the soft whisper that indeed says, God Is Good?
There is a renewal process that happens every Spring that gives birth to new life. But, what we want so desperately to forget in the Spring is what caused this life to come to pass.
The Cold, Dark Winter.
We even whine and complain if Spring starts to change it's mind and head back into those symptoms of Winter we are trying to forget!
Can I get a witness those of you who live in Minnesota terrain?
With the cold dark days of December behind us now, it's easy to shout the praise from the mountain tops.
We get a spring in our step,
A spring in our song,
Heck even a spring in our cleaning!!
And that's great.
It's the way it should be.
I'm just reminded by this quote to think a little deeper.
Because although, its easy to say God is Good when things are coming back to life, it is a very hard position to take when death is on the line.
("Never mess with a Cecilian when DEATH is ON THE LINE!!" You're welcome Princess Bride fans)
So I ask myself what was
my song,
my step,
and even the cleaning of my own heart like this winter?
I can honestly say that this Winter was a lot better than those that have gone before it.
Still, there was some lag in my step.
But as my kids went on Spring break this past week I had the thought that I could hardly believe it was over.
The Winter is over.
Spring is here.
It didn't seem like some Winters that have gone before it to be so long that I wondered if there would ever be a Sunrise AGAIN!!
Ya know what I'm saying?
I guess that's a good sign.
I bet by now you are gathering that Winter is not my favorite?!
Yer, A smart one young whipper snapper !!
This past week has been filled from top to bottom with nothing but goodness for me and mine.
A much needed visit from Momma Nash has been the main reason, as well as having some much needed time with my Fab 4 while they have all been on Spring break.
Do you ever have weeks like this?
Where everyone is healthy,
everyone is happy,
and all is right with the world?
I can't help but sing God's praise in the midst of such goodness.
So that's what I'm gonna do here for a minute.
Listen real close. This is me,
singing God's praise.
As we are in full swing into this Spring season(say that five times fast for fun) I start to think about what lies ahead. The flowers are blooming. The birds are chirping. My kids will soon be wrapping up this school year and in less than 1 month I will have two teenage girls in my house. 1 in High School, 2 in Middle School and only 1 left in Elementary school. I'm coming up on a new season of life(BIG KID SEASON)
This Spring break provided such a wonderful time to take the pulse of this lil family we call MoNoSco and the pulse was strong.
It was good.
Because God is good.
I give thanks for this.
*Now, as I sit here and type the news of the Boston Marathon bombing has just hit the airwaves and I'm praying for all those on the east coast that may have been affected by this.
I have family on the East coast who thankfully are all okay, but I'm thankful with pause now.
No longer a Spring in my step.
Pause.
Selah.
It is a crazy thought that someone this morning got up, laced their shoes for a race they have been training for months, maybe even all year, and now finds themselves either injured, or worse gone forever.
Although it is Spring for all of us, someone over there has just headed back into Winter. The darkest one they will have ever faced. And I hope and pray for them even in the midst of this they are able to say
God is STILL Good!
It's hard to make sense of such senseless acts of violence.
Try as we might, that is why they are appropriately named.
So, I am not even going to attempt to make sense of the difference a day made in my heart.
It started out with a spring and not a care in the world and has ended now here with extreme sadness for those in Boston.
But one thing has remained;
God in His Goodness.
At the Foursquare Church youth camps that my husband and I used to frequent,there was a saying that would get said A LOT!
The speaker would say,(or shout depending on how The Spirit was moving)
GOD IS GOOD
and the people would say in return
ALL THE TIME
And even though I don't understand days like today, somehow, by the grace of God, I do understand this.
It reminds me that life, the air we breathe when we wake each day is so very precious.
The present really is a gift, not to be taken for granted.
I said I was so happy to be back(and I really am) but then I went and got silent again all week.
Ru...
In my defense and I do have one, it's been a tad bit busy round these parts.
So here's the reason for my silence;
Baseball and
More Baseball
Baking
Sewing
Embroidering
Getting ready for Saturday Market to open
Exercising
Spring Cleaning
Boat Rides
Visit with Momma Nash
Movies
and now
It's my kids Spring Break.
I'm pretty sure this week will be full of quick snap shot check ins on instagram again, and not much more... so here's that link if you want to find me
Beloved Reader I have missed you something fierce!
It has been a long six weeks of no Facebook, No Instagram, No Twitter,and No YOU! It seems like forever and a day that Lent began, and now I'm finally "reunited and it feels sooo good", and while I was away there were some majors that took place; A very beloved cousin passed away at the young age of 44 years old(more on that later), The Oscars,Daylight Savings, me working out M-F for a solid 6 weeks in a row .. What what? Hold the phone ... Noël, NoDots working out for over 30 days now that is some crazy talk if I have ever heard crazy talkin !! Some Village members moved on to greener pastures, A trip home to Nevada for a beloved friends baby shower and BASEBALL SEASON!! Woot WOOT!! All of which, was hard to process without you, but I managed to survive ;)
I realized some very profound things during this 6 week break from social media, and the first one is my need for people. I love people. I love my people deeply. My love for you beloved reader is deep.
Are you getting that there is a deep theme going on here?
If it weren't for you I wouldn't be here. I have other places to write so that my outlet is fulfilled and you better believe those places looked a lot fuller during this Lent season, but I was longing to share what I was thinking, what I was learning with YOU, because LIFE is just better when it's shared. Can I get a witness? Living life is just not nearly as fulfilling without my fellow sojourner. All that to say I'm happy to be back. Sheesh, I sure am long winded sometimes.
Another not so profound thought, but still meaningful at the same time was that I had social interactions face to face that I might not have pursued otherwise. I started talking to people in the grocery store again, and not looking down at my phone while waiting in line. Ya, know... living life in real time! Now hold the phone... I don't want at all to discredit the social interactions that happen here or in other places with social media. Because, honestly, I feel I have a whole community of people here that I truly love and I know you love me and that is just amazing! Like, people try to always point out the negative about social medias and they neglect to mention the positive. Like totally they do that!!(Do you like my inner valley girl I'm channeling there?) Where else can you go and by writing one tweet or status update have hundreds of people praying... That's some awesome sauce if I've tasted awesome!!
What I'm saying is its all how we look at this thing called social media.
Balance in all things, freedoms should be applied, but not taken for granted that to look up from the computer or the phone every once in a while is a VERY GOOD THING!! And before I say too much more I mostly just want to communicate that I am happy to be back with you all. And without further ado the song I feel like singing today... HE's ALIVE!! and SHE's ALIVE!! It's all Abundant, Beautiful LIFE!!
I'll get down to some meatier topics I processed while away later this week but for now, Go ahead and enjoy a little Oingo Boingo on me today.
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