Sunday, August 12, 2018

Time Keeps on Slippin Slippin ... (sing it with me)

I'm learning slowly, but surely to embrace the roller coaster of life. 
Every time I think I'm ok with the roller coaster of it all something comes along to jolt me back up the massive hill of life that inevitably turns into the massive drop on a roller coaster that makes me lose my stomach mid air.
I tell myself to just hang on and "breathe" deep and this helps sometimes when I'm headed up the hill and I know what's on the other side. 
Often times though there is nothing, and I do mean nothing, that can prepare you for that drop.
So, somewhere along the way I changed my perspective about it all and decided to embrace the up hill climb as well as the inevitable, stomach loosing drop off. 

I used to fight change like it was a nasty wasp that was after my tasty meat on a beautiful picnic day.
Arms flailing and a high pitched voice screaming at the damn thing to go away... such a sight to behold those who are afraid of a little bumble bee.
And, WHY pray-tell do they want my meat ?

However, somewhere along the way my fear of change, my fight song toward this pesky little thing that just keeps coming at ya,  changed.
I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the older you get, you realize it's just not worth the energy anymore to fight the inevitable. 


This here bloggy poo used to be the place where I could come and process all the changes and get the  relentless worry out of my head and onto the screen.
When I logged on today it shocked me to realize that
I haven't been here, in this place to write and share for 5 months.
5 months people... that's almost a fully baked little human time!!

It seems so strange to me how fast time can fly by, and the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and suddenly a whole year has gone by.

 

The Steve Miller band was right... TIME truly does keep on slippin slippin into the future. 
And where we spend our time and energy is that much more valuable when we get older, because let's face it... we know the clock is ticking.

I guess in retrospect 5 months between a blog post isn't SO long, but I remember the day that I was on here writing all the time. 
The silence this time though,  I think is because my process to unpack things in this life may have changed some.

It used to be that my time with the outside world was limited, being that I was a stay at home mom with 4 babes, 6 years and under when I started this blog. 
Now, I spend more hours away from home, and when I do finally get home to my nest it is a FREAKING MESS!!

So there's the full time job outside this place, and then the very full time job here in this place when I do get home. 
Outside of that, the screen time I give to my eyes is more than I care to admit with my tiny little computer called an I Phone. 
Changes in processing life and just sheer exhaustion combined with how fast time is flying by, is truly what has kept me away from you beloved reader. 
The older I get the faster the time is flying by. 

Am I alone in this warped speed of roller coaster life?

I'm also trying very hard to "keep it simple" and stay in the present moment. 
This came about after a very wise older grandma told me that how you slow time down is by staying in the present moment. 
She looked me square in the eye and said with such piercing conviction, that if I wanted time to slow down I had the power to do so, by staying in the moment. She may as well have said to me, 

"KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!"
She was serious.
She was convincing.
And I listened. 

In an attempt to stay in the moment I limited my screen time and therefore this here blog collected some dust. 


Never fear though, I haven't fully given up on the bloggy poo processing, but I have rethought about what I really want it to be for me now.


What has never changed though is my love to write and place words together. 

It brings me great joy to write. 
I have been writing in my old school paper journal in an attempt to simplify, but I do so love to hear the sound of 'clickety clak clickety clak 'while I type away and the thoughts in my head appear here on this screen. 
I will never stop processing out loud either because I find value in community, and I know that the blog world, be it ever so strange is in fact a community.
The impact of how other's online journals in the form of a blog have tremendously helped me in my journey is what keeps drawing me back here. 


There is so very much that I can and you can be spending your time on yet, you come over here to check on lil-ole' me and it blesses me beyond measure to know that you are here. 
I know you are processing right along side me, and I know that like me you should be doing a long list of other things, but the value for online community runs deep within your soul as well. 

In an attempt to update those of you who still check in over here I will give you the bullet points of changes that have occurred over these past 5 months that I haven't been processing out loud.

Moses went back to construction and I am back at teaching the little people of the world.
We both returned to jobs and trades that for most of our lives we have come to know and love and hopefully make a difference there. 
Moses still dreams of building his own kingdom someday instead of everyone else's, and I still dream of writing children's books. 
These dreams will become a reality I have no doubt of that... but in the meantime it's been really fun to watch our Fab 4's dreams come true. 
 
Our oldest daughter Emma is still living up in Seattle in that tiny little cabin in the woods that we called home for 4 years. From the moment we moved back to Reno she couldn't wait to get back up to the PNW where she feels her heart is home. She's adult-ing hardcore and I couldn't be more proud of her. 
Our second oldest daughter graduated high school in June and applied to her dream school that just happens to be in New York. 
She got in ... and if all goes as planned she will soar out of here and to the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York.

So come January, we will have one daughter in Seattle and one in New York.

Whose idea was it to raise independent children who grow up and turn into  happy and healthy humans ready to take on the world with out dear ole' mom and dad by their side?

Our oldest son Solomon just started his first upper classman year of High School and is really enjoying learning to speak German for the second year. 
Our youngest child Isaiah graduated Jr. High and is now a Freshman in High School.
My sister Jenny and her hubs James have adopted my new lil Nevaeh Bear niece and our big clan is all the more joyful.
My brother Greg and wife Tanya will add another wee one in December to this over the top with JOY big clan. 
One of my besties turned 40 and got preggers with her fourth baby on the way in September.

And it's been over a year since one of my beloved sisters Christine has not walked this planet. 
I miss her hugs most of all. 


There it is beloved reader... my 5 months in a nutshell (help I'm in a nutshell and I can't get out!)

Life is a wild ride. 
I'm working hard to keep it simple, breathe deep, and process out loud in the hopes that it will help myself and others. 
Peace out... I'm off now to "Fly like an Eagle and let my Spirit carry me" or something like that.





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