Monday, May 12, 2014

My Momma, Momma T, and My After Thoughts on Mother's Day

"Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her."
 Proverbs 31:28

This is my momma.
She is the heart and soul of my family. 
Ask anyone who knows her and they will tell you she is a human being unlike any other.
Her heart is above all generous and kind.
She has a love for Christ that is compelling.

And the woman, is funny as all get out!!

She has raised 5 children, myself included.
5 grown children.
3 girls, and 2 boys stand and called her blessed.
Take that in for a moment.

5 grown adults looked to her yesterday with their hearts full of gratitude for all the years of love and devotion she gave us, and we all called her blessed.
But as I was hanging out with my awesome Momma whom I love so much I got to thinking ...

Is that the goal of this thing called motherhood?

That at the end of all the hard work and investment you pour into your children, they will stand (or write,text,sing) and call you blessed, loved, cherished, amazing, wonderful, awesome? 

Maybe, they love you so much they want to get this tattooed on their body just to tell the world how much they really do love you.

Maybe not cause they are only 2 still!
 I dunno?

The point is
That kind of adoration is what we all long for, but I'm not sure that is the goal? 
Sure it's nice to have a day that we get thanked for our hard work, love and devotion, but it shouldn't be the day that defines us as mom's. 

What happens when our children don't stand (or even text) to call us blessed?
Or even worse, our husband doesn't praise us for all the hard work we do?

I feel like mother's day can be quite the set up for unmet expectations.

Would if you didn't get breakfast in bed?

Would if they don't call you at all let alone, to say they love you?

Would if you don't get that perfume you really wanted, just as a fragrant reminder of the sacrifice you make on a daily basis?

Or even worse would if you don't have your momma here to tell these things to anymore?

Would if God forbid,  your children, they aren't even here anymore?

Would if one of your children tragically went home to be with Jesus way too young?

These were some of my questions and thoughts that I pondered yesterday as I had one of THE best Mother's Days a girl could ever hope for.

I remember though, when my kids were little, Mothers Day was just like any other day. I still had to change poopy diapers, I still had to do laundry and clean up 4 lils messes. I remember the discontentment, bitterness, and bitchy, bratty attitude I would have because I thought... THIS IS MY DAY!! 
I shouldn't have to do this chore or wipe that butt.

Rather than thinking, I get to do this as an honor and privilege, I would spend the whole day bemoaning the things that didn't happen, and the stuff that went wrong.
I realize now that I totally missed out on what a blessing that day really was.

  Now that my kids are grown and pretty much did all the cooking and cleaning yesterday and spoiled me so much so, that I didn't even lift a finger... not EVEN a thumb ... ALL DAY... (don't even get me started on the love notes) I can look back and remember what it was like being in the trenches with the littles.

I remember so well, many a Mother's day that I had the wrong heart attitude. 

I was also reminded by so many momma's yesterday that this day might bring some sorrow instead of joy.
 When I went up to one of the mommas at church to say Happy Mothers Day, she told me she had lost her daughter 2 years ago and sat with only her son and I'm sure a HUGE hole in heart where her daughter used to sit.

Then I was reminded by another momma while walking out the door of church that her oldest son didn't even call.

And even still another friend text to say her child had ran away on mothers day.

It broke my heart and at the same time brought a whole lotta perspective to my sometimes selfish outlook on life.

Not all momma's have joy on this day.

Not all children can call their mom at all, or just wouldn't call her because she is THE one person who they blame all of their sadness in life upon.

The joys and sorrows of this life are so strange to me.
It's just such a mystery to me still why some have SO much joy, while others have SO much sadness.
Why some cups are filled to overflowing, while others have never even been given a drop of joy.

And the only thing I can come back to is perspective.

Our heart's attitude in this life is crucial to our well-being. 

For the momma who sat without her daughter, she was happy to have her son there and talked of the relaxing day they would share.
For the momma whose oldest didn't call, she was thankful for the ones that were still there with her celebrating her day. 
And for my friend whose teen ran away she chose to laugh with her other kids and new friends. 

That's an amazing gift, to see the brighter side of life.

For my friend who didn't have his momma here to say Happy Mother's day to, he called or texted the other Momma's in his life.
And for the one's that didn't have their child with them ... well they looked forward to the day when they would be reunited again.

Jesus, help me to keep a good perspective, a humble perspective in regards to this life. Guard my heart from becoming selfish on all the future Mothers Days I have ahead of me. 

SO often I can let little things rob me of my joy, and yesterday I was reminded that in this life there will be joy and sorrow, good days and bad.
THE only anchor I have in the midst of the highs and lows is the love of Christ, and HIS love flowing through me.
The only glory I can give for my Fab 4 is to their Creator.

And of all the things my momma has given me her love for her Savior was/is the greatest gift because when she is called home someday, and I can't call her up to bless her, Jesus will still be here with me to comfort and help me carry on.

And now to take a cue from Momma T. at the end of the day it isn't all the great things we have done in this life that we will be judged by, it is about the simple sacrifices we make when no one is watching. 


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