We're On A Road To No Where

Sing along ... You know you want to!

Here's the story of our Lemony Snickets series of Unfortunate events, journey back to Nevada. 

I'm not even sure I know where to begin, but let's start with what that Sunday was supposed to look like. 

We (meaning mostly Dan and Moses) loaded up the Uhaul and by around noon we( again, Dan and Moses) were mostly done. The plan was to then go over to Dave's house and finish a tattoo on said friend Daves arm and eat more of Dan's no sauce pulled pork, and then get on the road.

Mmm Mmm... Dan that pork is still making my mouth water!

Wait ... where was I?

Oh yea, back to our Lemony Snickets Story.

Ahem... well the plans at Dave's house  got the ka bosh when Mo realized he had forgotten a very important item. Note to all tattooist,  when setting out to tattoo don't forget the needles. Not like you can just go down to AmPm and pick one of those puppies up. Course....maybe you could in some parts of the city... but Ew yucka! Needless to say, we found ourselves with some extra time, and thought why not get an early start on our very long, very slow, 14 hour car ride.

All packed up and feeling sad, but ready to get back to our kiddos we hit the Seattle freeway and got 50 miles down the road before we hit major traffic, and our first breakdown on the trailer.

We were on a very busy 5 lane freeway and slowing down for accident traffic up ahead when Mo realized the trailer tire was smoking so the safest place we could get to was a median by the on coming traffic ramp. Now, here is where I tell you I was for the first time in my life grateful for the traffic because had it not slowed us down a bit, who knows what might have happened. 

Here's also where I tell you that our reaction to this first break down was calm, cool, and collected. 

For realz, it really was. 

My Giant called the road side assistance number for Uhaul and we sat and waited.

And waited.

And sat.

And waited some more.

It was about 2 hours in when I realized I really had to go pee.

So my calm was starting to leave. 

I felt a bit trapped being that there were cars flying by now on both sides of us, as the accident traffic  had cleared the cars got faster and faster. I thought, it would have been a bit like the game frogger to get off to the road side and go pee.

So I waited.

By about almost 3 hours in I really, really had to pee.

So my cool was starting to leave.

And well my collected.... Was this thought... Hell, if Sandra Bullock in the movie 2 and Half Weeks Notice can find relief on a freeway... so can I. 

My relief was a bit less dramatic than hers, and all I'm going to say about that is thank God for dixie cups, hand sanitizer, and Kegel exercises. 

Ok moving on... that was really the only action besides the freeway traffic that kept whizzing by and rocking our truck every 5 seconds. 

It was around almost the 4th hour when Mo decided to move the truck to a safer spot.

He talked at length with Uhaul about this, but apparently all  they really cared about was their truck and NOT OUR VERY LIVES!!

So we very slowly found our break in the traffic to get off the road and we took our chance.

Limping along we made it first off on the side of the road and then he decided the next exit was where we needed to get off. 

WHEW!!

4 very LONG hours later we were at a 76 station I was relieving myself further, and Mo was getting a sandwich.

We were stinky.

We were tired.

WE WERE NOT CALM,COOL, OR COLLECTED anymore.

But we were safe and

We were ready to get out of that damn truck, but we couldn't just call a cab and move on we had to wait for Uhaul to the rescue. 

So we waited, again only this time in a some what safer spot.

I mean somewhat safe, it was Kent WA after all ;)

The rescue truck pulled up about 5 hours later and the ONLY solace was a motel room of our choosing, that they still had to approve for us to be checked into.

So we waited again.

Are you catching that waiting on Uhaul was the theme for the day?

There we waited in a Best Western lobby for about 45 minutes just so that someone from Uhaul could verify that we were the people we said we were.

Umm.... like anyone would lie about going through what we just went through so they could a free Best Western room.. psh Doh Doh heads Uhaul!!

The wait would have taken longer until the hotel clerk said to the guy from Uhaul  "I'm going to check these two in for the night I think they have been through enough for one day"

Wow, finally some customer service!!

A very tired, sleepy MoNoSco hit the sack around 10:30 p that night.

We didn't make it far, but we were glad that day was behind us and happy to be safe and sound in our BW bed for the night.

We were awoken by a 9a phone call that said our trailer was ready and we could get back on the road again by 10:30.

(To BE continued)