Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Settled and Unsettled

Good Morning Beloved Reader-

It feels good to be here with you in this moment. 
This is a moment that I have longed for, for quite some time.
Do you want to know what moment I'm talking about? 
I'm talking about the moment of being settled in.
Almost every box is unpacked. 
I have a favorite spot, with my favorite reading materials close by, I even got some sewing done last week, and it all feels so very good.

There is something very unsettling to me about the moving experience.
I am a creature who loves to set up camp and stay in that camp a very long, long time.
The camp fire embers can be nothing but smoke and I would still linger there.
My Giant moves things. 
He's a mover and a shaker.
I'm a camper.
Together we make a great team, because really who wants camp fire smoke all up in your eyes and all over your clothes?
There is a time when moving makes sense and it is necessary, and good, and even something that I want, but still it shakes me to the core.
Does that make sense?
Are there any other campers out there??

All that to say,
It has taken quite a lot out of me these past few months, actually really this whole year, and I'm just now feeling that settled moment, and I'm glad I get to share it with you. 

I want to share something else with you.
This past weekend was my 20 year High School Reunion. 
Yep, I'm OLD!!
I wasn't able to go because we had a family wedding to go to, but I have been having moments of nostalgia all weekend.
It was so wonderful to be with my Giant and his clan this past weekend. I got to hear him and his cousins reminisce about their youth and we laughed so hard, but there were also "THANK GOD" moments where they each realized how far they had come, and what they have been delivered from.

It's a very pivotal time, ones youth, don't you agree?

Thinking about my youth makes me happy, because I had a really good Jr. High and High School experience. I thankfully, don't have many regrets from that time in life, and so I look back on it with a tender memory in mind. It's also the reason why I would have enjoyed going to my reunion, I think?
But, it also kind of really trips me out at the same time because I can hardly believe that I have children who are 15, 13, 11, and almost 9. 
Like, really... When did that happen?

I am the mother of teens and tweens and this brings up all kinds of emotions.

We are having a lot of firsts in the Monosco camp.
First time your oldest drives off in a car with friends who are boys.
First time your 11 year old boy goes off to camp where there wont' be someone there to remind him to wear deodorant or behave.
First time there might be a serious boy, girl relationship looming.
First time for crushes, and permits, and dances...

Ya know ... stuff that you deal with when your kids are no longer kids but young adults, being shaped and molded by more people than you can count.
I find myself in this weird position of sitting back, but at the very same time, actively putting holes in the carpet on my knees in prayer.

I know this makes perfect sense to those of you who have pioneered before me in these teen and tween years.
And let me just take this moment to say, please share your wisdom, share your encouragement, but keep the horror stories to a minimum please. 
I said please ;)

It's a time where you have to sit back and hope and pray that all you have planted inside of them will begin to grow, and not just that, but that it will take root. 
I pray for very DEEP ROOTS.

"Hang tough lil roots"

This morning is a moment I'm feeling settled but unsettled all at the same time. 
Let me explain.
My older three kids are off to church camp this week.
 When I don't have all my baby chics under one roof it feels strange. Those of you who have lils, as much as you long for the day that you can sit back and relax because you're not constantly in shear panic mode from that two year old that just won't sit still, just remember this;

Right now you know exactly where that two year old is.
(Or at least I hope you do)
You know where they will go to sleep tonight.
You know what they will eat.
You know who they will talk to.
You know who they will drive with, 
You know that as long as they are with the momma bear they are safe.

But, when they get older something very strange happens. 
You can no longer control all of this, and it's unsettling and at the same time it is very healthy, and normal, and necessary to let this process happen.
Because I mean, no one wants a Smother Motha!!
I do so solemnly swear;


Still, I honestly don't know how people without the reassuring presence of the Holy Spirit are able to get through this season in parenting.
This morning in my prayer time for my three older kids who are at camp, my Heavenly Father God gave me this reassuring scripture;

"For He has strengthened and made hard the bars of your gates, and He has blessed your children." Psalm 147:13

For this momma bear who would like nothing more than to keep those babies behind bars protected from the world outside that could hurt or harm them... this was exactly what I needed this morning. To know that the GOD of the universe has got my kiddos in the palm of His hands settles my spirit like none other.
Don't go reporting me to CPS just cause I want to put my kids behind bars just to keep them safe. I swore up there I wouldn't Smother remember?

No, I think instead of smothering this is the action I will take;

"Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance, and in everything, by prayer and petition(definite requests)with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's PEACE shall be yours." Phil 4:6-7

And I am once again settled. 
I like that settled feeling.
I think I will stay a while here in this
settled position.


Stone Cottage Adventures said...

You are a wonderful mother and your children are blessed to have you. When our son (A Marine) was in Iraq, I prayed Psalm 91 over him a lot. Especially verse 11 "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways". Our pastor gave us the advice that we could worry or we could pray. Great wisdom! Our baby boy is now back in the States and works in law enforcement. GEE WHIZ! I wish he had chosen a career in accounting! ;-) I will always be a Momma Bear when it comes to my babies! I bet you will, too! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

Bernadette Veenstra said...

I love that verse. I never heard it quite that away before. Made me love it more. I am so glad you took time to write. I miss reading your blog.

shontell said...

Psalm 91 is a good call! I prayed that verse over our family in the town hall meeting waiting to plead our case about layoffs. Probably read it 20 times at least. You are so right that your kids are being guided and molded by more people than you know. I'm so grateful to have you on the BrewCrew team backing us up as well! My kids adore you. But what's not to love?!

No(dot dot)el said...

@ Marci- Thank you for the encouragement. I love Psalm 91 it truly is a gift for all momma bears ;)
@Bernadette- It is a great verse. Thank you for taking the time to read, I really can't wait to be able to catch up on all my favorite blog reads. Yours will be top of the list girl. Btw I just used up the rest of your foot scrub. Loved that stuff.
@Shontelly- Yes, that verse and really that whole chapter is so very good. I'm grateful to have the back up from the Brew Crew, so good to be living everyday life again with each other.

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