Friday, May 05, 2006

A Gift

Have you ever recieved a gift that you were afraid to use, touch, or move for fear that it might break or get dirty, or even be stolen? When my beloved gramma died this past fall I was given her dutch boy cookie jar. Do I put cookies in it? No. Do I set it on my counter top for all to see? No. It is hidden in my pantry where it can't even get dust on it, let alone be knocked over and broken. Every now and then when I open the cupboard I look at it and it puts a smile on my face but I wonder would my Gramma frown upon the fact that I am not using this to distribute cookies to her great grandbabies.
Sometimes that's the way I feel about the gifts that I have been given from God. One inpaticular , keeps me wondering why did God give this to me? I know so many others who would've done so much greater things with this gift and it almost seems wasted on me because of my fear to use it.
It reminds me of Moses in the bible , not my hubby. We can tell from what is written about him that he definately did not think that he was the right man for the job. When God asked him to go back to his hometown and tell his family and friends that what they were doing was wrong and that they needed to stop immediately and free the Hebrew slaves he questioned Gods call . He even came up with what I think is a pretty legite excuse of not being a good public speaker due to his stuttering. God didn't like his hesitancy because I think it showed Moses lack of faith/trust in Him . I can relate to Moses. I can think of a million excuses not to do what I know in my heart I was designed to do but in the end the call never goes away. The nudging is still there be it ever so small.
Because I know what Jesus said about the gifts that he gives and what we are supposed to do I am trying to be faithful using my gifts the best way I know how but somehow I wonder when I stand before Him will He ask me why I buried so many things because of my fear of rejection or pure complacency. I wonder if it will be enough. I am trying to be faithful but the desire every year grows stronger.
So, I am left at a crossroads. I can start to choose the path of least resistance or I can muster up all the time, energy, courage, strength and boldness that I have left and pursue what it is that I know in my heart is a gift buried right now.


TPluckyT said...

Good post. I hope you don't mind if I share a few thoughts that it has stirred.

Is it possible one of the many reasons God gave you this gift is because of the dynamic it would create in you through your struggle with what to do with it? The gift gives you the potential to mature and grow.

I don't believe Jesus is going to beat you up at the end for your failure to use this gift, rather he will sing songs of victory over you for how far you took it.

Condemnation leaves us feeling hopeless. Conviction by its very nature carries with it the realization of "you can do it, you can do this thing." That being said, the joy we receive from accepting God's total acceptance is far more empowering and motivating for us to do his good works then say peforming from a platform of guilt and obligation.

So we don't give up and settle for the path of least resistance, rather we keep plugging away the best we know how trusting in God's grace, acceptance, and lack of condemnation.

A wise man once told me if we're feeling frustrated we're probably pushing God's time table.

Thanks Noel, for your thought provoking post. I hope I wasn't too wordy, but I was reminding myself of all this as I wrote.

georgia said...

But now I'm so curious. What is the gift???? :)

noel said...

t-pluck , i never ever mind your thoughts in fact quite the opposite . a comment from you is as good as gold.
the dynamic of this gift has stirred quite a bit in me over the years and i most certainly think that i have grown and matured a bit with it. i don't think Jesus will beat me up either i just think that there my be a brief moment of disappointment in myself for not just this but all things in this life that i could've lived more fully for Him. i don't feel condemned but rather inspired to once again take a second look at this area in my life. thank you for the encouragment.
georgia- can i get back to you on that one?

Jeni said...

Noel--Just wanted to let you know I was here. It seems like plucky & georgia have already wrapped things up. I have nothing to add to what plucky said, and georgia already asked the question I was going to ask! :)

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