Windy days and Birds on a Wire

I wrote this lil blurb blog below the dotted line in February 2020 in my draft section. It is now very early on November 20th 2025. I haven't been able to access this old blog for a few years, AGAIN. 
Does anyone else feel the pain of the trying to remember all the emails, all the passwords, all the information?? Sometimes, its just more than too much... it's obnoxious!I digress.
Anyhow... the blurb below I wrote over 5 years ago now, and I don't know why I didn't post it, but I think I will get it out there on the inter webs today because it made me smile on this very early Thursday morning. 
 I recently posted on Youtube a video with this very same sentiment in mind. 
If you care to watch that ; the channel is at MoNoScoCreates on YouTube and the video footage is just the birds eating what was left of the old sunflowers from my garden this past summer. 

I hope you enjoy both this old blog and the video 
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This morning I was on my way into work which is about a 5 minute commute now here in Carson City... don't be jealous, just move here with me. 
Seriously, I'm loving being back here in this small town. 
Anyhew... I was on my way into work on a very blustery Nevada windy day, and I saw something spectacular. 
Well... maybe not spectacular, but noteworthy nonetheless. 
I have noticed for several weeks now a row of birds that line up on a power cord every morning, and just watch the whole world rush by on our way to wherever we are all going. It amuses me that birds have no other cares in the world, and that those power lines that they perch themselves upon could potentially be the end of them, yet they trust the small black cord beneath them to be a resting spot. 
Anyways, what was unusual to me this morning was that 3 birds were circling above this wire, and being blown every which way by the Nevada blustery winds, as they were trying to make a solid landing.  I always pause and take note anytime I see only 3 birds in the air, it's kind of a sacred thing I have with the lover of my soul.
As I watched from the stop light that no doubt made my commute 6 minutes instead of 5... I noticed how they would try to land on the wire and be blown off track and start all over again and I felt it.  I felt the sacred moment, the analogy, the teachable moment that was happening between me and the creator.  If  I wasn't on my way into work I would have pulled off to the side of the road right then and there to start writing it all down, but I knew it would all still be there if it was meant to be documented. I thought about how often times the winds of life get us off track from our resting place. How the storms can cause us to circle back around and around again until we can finally find the sweet spot of peace.   I remembered the verse in the Bible that says;
"Look at the birds of the air they do not sow, or reap or store away in barns...
(Translated for those of us who are not farmers they don't have credit cards, layaway, or a fatty savings/trust fund. They sit on power lines and watch the world go by.)
"and YET your heavenly Father feeds them."
(Translated for those of you that may need a different name than Father, they are well taken care of by the creator of the universe and the lover of your soul, and they sit on power lines after eating a full breakfast of worms and no doubt, talk about what they watched the day before. )
"ARE YOU NOT MUCH MORE VALUABLE THAN THEY?? CAN ANYONE OF YOU BY WORRYING ADD A SINGLE HOUR TO YOUR LIFE??"
(No translation needed.)  For me this revelation if you will, was translated something like;
Don't worry about your 4 adult children, your aging parents, you and your husbands health, your job, your bank account, your etc...
Trust and know that ;
YOU ARE MUCH MORE VALUABLE TO ME THAN BIRDS.
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One final thought from 2025 No..el Isn't there a movie called Bird on A Wire?And if there is, is it a good movie?

Growing People, Growing Things

Growing People is hard work. 

Growing Things can be hard, but not quite as hard as growing people. 

 

We have had 25 years of growing 4 people in our house and under our care. 

Now, suddenly they are all grown up and have had enough confidence to move out into the world all at their own speed, which I would like to point out... to me feels really fast!

It's surreal, awesome, exciting, scary, strange, and wonderful all at the same time. The launches start gradually, similar to how the growing starts. As fast as they came into the world, now just as fast they have all left this nest. Moses and I are only a few weeks into this empty nest, and I gotta say, it feels like only yesterday we started out on this journey with no IDEA what we were doing, or how quickly it would go. 

The days are long, but the years are short. 

 Just like that the season for growing humans is over. In all those years I never really thought too much about how important the task was, because when you have 4 humans to grow, and they spring up so fast, you don't really have time to think about it, you JUST DO IT!

I remember asking my beloved Grandma once, how she managed raising 5 kids all within a year of each other in birthdays, and she said... I just did it! She was a very wise woman. This simple response, but profound at the same time, made me think about how it is true that so much of parenting is just doing, doing, doing. 

We have too much information out there now. Everyone, now a days has a book about how to, or what to, or why to do this or that, and in reality when it comes to parenting you JUST DO IT!

 Like Nikes slogan, you put your parenting boots, or shoes on and you get in there and DO IT, every DAY!

 After a while it gets a whole lot easier and becomes second nature to be doing 5 things at one time. It is common place to be listening to several tiny humans all at the same time, and without even noticing that you're doing it, you have met all of their needs and then some. 

It truly is a phenomenal accomplishment.

If at this stage in the game of parenting I have earned the right to give any parental advice, I would say put down your phone and just do it. 

By that I mean, stop listening to all those people who don't live in your house and under your roof, and start listening to the little humans right in front of you. Don't get me wrong, parenting advice is a very good thing, but remember it's just advice. Ultimately YOU are the only one who has studied this person from the moment they were so graciously given to you. You are the only one who knows what makes them tick. You are the only one who matters when it comes to them feeling loved and accepted for who they are, and what they want to become. 

I would also say, partnering with the eternal parent who created them helps a whole lot! 

Every hair on their head is known by the creator and every dream in their heart is known to the Creator as well. So, getting in sync with that would be the first place to start. 

Growing People is hard work, but growing Souls that go out into the world, and are a light that shines in some very dark places, well that is ultimate reward for all the hard work. 

It's very similar to growing a garden. You plant a seed and you water the dirt that at first doesn't look like it will be anything significant at all, and then with some sun and more water, maybe some special food something starts to grow. 

As any Gardner knows, you can't stop not even for one day, or you won't get the results that you're after. Gardners don't get vacations. Gardners don't get holidays. They know that if they want the reward of something beautiful they have to keep at it. You have to prune, harvest, and be attentive to what you happen to be growing. You have to learn about soil, and watering, sunlight and shade. 

It's a whole thing. 

Planting a seed isn't hard, but growing something beautiful takes diligence. 

We all know, making humans isn't that hard, (that's the fun part some would say), but growing them... that's a whole other ball game. Like in baseball, my dad says, "You Win some, You Lose some, and Some are rained out. You hope for the best and kiss off the rest!" 

That is what your days of parenting will look like. Some days you will hit it out of the park and other days you will want to take your ball and go home, BUT you can't. You can't ever stop at the role of growing and parenting the humans you've been given. 

When the season is over for you and they move out from your 24/7 care and watchful eye, you will be in awe of it all. You will get the reward of knowing that you SHOWED UP every day, without fail. You will (if you have done it right ) have built-in besties now, that will make your heart explode with JOY as you watch them walk into the season you feel like YOU just started 2.5 seconds ago. 

Wonderful, Beautiful, LIFE !!!

Time to Rebuild this Nest

I find myself in a time of personally rebuilding this nest. As I sit here and type this blog out,I'm experiencing the first May in over 20 years that I don't feel the end of the school year rush.It's a weird feeling... kind of like if you've been at a job for over 20 years and find yourself suddenly unemployed. That's the best way I can describe this moment in time for myself.
I have been through countless busy months of May as a full time employee to 4 amazing humans who all have now graduated high school and moved onto the fun-filled world of adulting. As they have all but one moved out, and got themselves very busy full lives, my life does feel somewhat empty now.Hence, the term empty nesters. It's an ugly word ... EMPTY. No one likes to feel empty, no one wants their glass to be empty, it's either half full or half empty, but it's never EMPTY... right ?Well, thank God this girl is a half full kind of gal, because here's where I see a glass half full right now.
The creator of this Nest has got me so good, I mean so so good.I was sitting outside and feeling sorry for myself and my almost empty nest, and right in front of my eyes the Lover of my soul comforted me with a momma bird and a daddy bird building a new nest. The momma bird was busy gathering twigs, grass, and feathers, while the daddy bird (who was so beautiful with a pretty red chest) was up in a tree on protective look out for his momma bird. Creation SPEAKS if you're listening. I found myself with tears rolling down my face and joy in my heart, thanking the Lover of my soul for this gift in nature speaking to my heart in that moment in time.I was filled with overflowing gratitude for my nest, and feeling hopeful that although it might feel empty sometimes now, it never will truly be.
The other thing I thought about was who I partnered with all these 20+ years of building this big nest. My daddy bird is always on the look out for me, I call him the watcher on the wall for this family.I have an amazing husband, truly I love being HIS wife. If I could give any advice to young mommas and daddy's it would be this, make sure to stay connected to your person in the midst of all the busy.Remember when times get really, really tough that you are on the same team and that ultimately the nest that you build together will be one that you can look back on and feel grateful for because you did it together. If you are a momma or daddy bird that lost their team player know that YOU are NOT alone. The creator of your soul the one who gave you those baby birds is right there with you, and will comfort you like no one ever could.
So here I am rebuilding a nest that will look quite different for a while, but that's ok.It's more than ok, because thankfully my daddy bird stayed strong right by my side and together we get to fly into this new world of empty nesters together. 

It's Been A Long Time

Well, I finally figured out how to get back on this blog site, and let me tell you ... I almost gave up trying!Gah..technology these days! It's harder to get back into a old blog site than to hack a bank account.
Not that I've ever tried to do the latter, but you get my point. 

I actually did give up trying to get on here, and started a new blog, shhh... don't tell this old friend, but I was stepping out on the side because this old friend wouldn't let me back in.This place has been a safe place for almost 20 years now though, so I couldn't give up on it. I found my fingers gravitating back here, time and time again until finally TODAY I cracked the code.
                                                      WOOT WOOT!! SHOUT THE PRAISE!
Since the last post published here, I can't even begin to go through all the changes that have taken place as the train of life just kept on chugging. 
Here's what you need to know if you want to know, which if you're reading this you might want to know, so I'm going to tell you bullet point style;
*Solomon graduated during a pandemic*All 4 kids moved into the new tiny house on Molly(plus one extra during the pan-dem)*We planted a garden and you can just call us Farmer Mo and No now.*Then starting with Emma and her plus one the kids started to move out.*Emma moved back to Seattle(during the pan -dem)*We were deemed "essential workers" so we didn't get the year off from the world*We got a "Covid Pup" named him Nigel and just the like the song says, "We only want what's best for him"*Chloe and Solomon moved to Reno*Isaiah my baby graduated, turned 18 last July, and he's really good at it !*Chloe then moved to Seattle*Solomon is moving to Ohio in July*The MoNoSco house is almost an Empty Nest now, and I find myself having ALOT of time to blog
Ok, now that you're caught up let me tell you what I've been thinking about lately.
The world at large is a HOT MESS ! ! (yes, that statement deserves 2 exclamation points)Has it ever not been a HOT MESS?If there was a time when the world at large was NOT a HOT MESS, what time would you say that would have been?
Here's the other thing I've been thinking; its a BEAUTIFUL MESS made up of beautiful, messy, messes. It's called humanity. I refuse to give up trying, or lose hope in my tiny efforts to make it better.When I think about the messes, the ugly, broken, nasty BIG messes, I get overwhelmed so I tend to avoid them.It's not like I don't know they are there, but since I can't clean them all up or even a tiny bit of them, I feel paralyzed to do anything at all... and that is a terrible feeling. So, then I go back to basics in my thought process and my soul.
All I can do is control my little corner of the mess and try to make it better.
That being said, this beloved place will be a place of safety and hope and encouragement ... or at least that is my intention in finding my voice again here, and speaking out, and speaking up, and hopefully cleaning up some of the mess. I especially feel like there needs to be more blogs about working hard, growing things, hopeful outlooks, creating, and enjoying this beautiful life.
IF that's what you want to read with your precious time on the inter webs then come by, and say hello here.It's a safe place with more LOVE and HOPE to come. 

You Become... to Solomon and the class of 2020

All I can do right now as I look at the world you have graduated into is  Pray: for PEACE Be thankful for HEALING and know that  for LOVE to win, it starts within ! Also I offer this letter to you, and a quote from the Velveteen Rabbit; Dear Solomon,  Don't ever forget who you are, and where you come from. If ever you feel you are forgetting, turn your phone off, go outside and look up.  Be still and know. As you move forward into the world of adulthood, remember there is a great cloud of witnesses that have gone before you on this path of life and faith.  Your voice is unlike any of theirs, but it was fashioned and formed by the things they said, and did before you. Don't worry about the world, it will be o.k. , but take great care of your world. Know that as you are still, and know who you are and who you serve you will change the world as you yourself are changed from the inside out.  The people that come into your life, your sphere of influence, those are the people that you walk out life with, and sometimes it's only for a season. These people that come and go are your life lessons. Some of them will come and stay forever as you have already witnessed, and a great many others will go passing you by, but remember in all relationships there are life lessons. Listen more than you speak.  Don't forget those that have gone before you, as you start this journey remember they are always there for you to cheer you on. Don't hesitate to ask for help, because we all need help from time to time. Everyday you wake up, before your feet hit the floor thank the giver of life and breath for the day ahead, and every night before you go to sleep thank that same giver of life for another day here.  And know this... no one has it all figured out... even those who are in their 90's ... that's what is so beautiful about life. Like Forrest's momma always said; "Life is like a box of chocolates You never know what you're gonna get!"   ;) "YOU become.

It takes a long time. 

That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, 

or have sharp edges,

 or who have to be carefully kept. 

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair is has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. 

But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. " *A quote from the Velveteen Rabbit* Solomon we are SO proud of who you have become, and who you will continue to become. 

Hear Ye Hear Ye ... this is for the Momma's and Poppa's

Good morning my "fellow shut-ins" and "stay at home" momma's and poppa's.  It's crazy to think that we are all stay at homers now, remember when there was that dumb thing we did as parents re: who was a working mom vs. stay at home mom?
Can we ALL agree if you are a mom or a dad you ARE working. FULL STOP.
Also,  I want you to hear me when I say, this is NOT what it was like when I stayed home with 4 kids 6 and under.
We were not under quarantine. We met with friends on a daily basis.  We went to the dollar store without masks on as treat for doing chores, and I got to feel like Oprah for  a minute when I told my kids they could buy anything in the whole store just for fun!!
We went to parks, playdates, etc. and had a shift in our day when Moses came home from his day outside the house. 
I do have somewhat of a comparison to this time, in that 9/11/2001 happened while I was pregnant with Solomon, and home with a 3 yr old and 1 yr old,  Emma and Chloe. 
That was a stressful, emotional time to be a parent similar to this, but NOT the same. 
I didn't have to explain to my kids why they couldn't hug grandma and grandpa. I didn't have to tell them that school was closed, and they might not ever go back, at least to school the way it was before Covid 19. I was not trying to juggle working from home, while working with and parenting my children too. 
Sidenote- When I was a stay at home mom of 4 kids 6 and under, I had a part time job in the evenings when Moses would get home from work at a Psych and Detox facility answering the suicide hotline and I would tell Moses... "Ok, bye babe I'm going on my break now !" 
Because, going to work even at a Psych and detox facility was easier and felt like a break from staying at home with 4 littles. 
(I hope that makes you all feel a little better and also that you truly just LOL'd)
I say all of this to say, that I feel your pain right now. . .
AND
 I want you to know that there is a reason why those of us who didn't choose to home school our children did so... (insert wide eyed emoticon). SO I just want to encourage all the parents right now that have littles, and bigs... GIVE YOURSELVES ALOT OF GRACE and SELF LOVE RIGHT NOW! You are doing a great job. FULL STOP.  No matter what your stay at home situation looks like ... you are awesome and need to give yourself a pat on the back. Remember to take deep breaths and to put some music on and dance it out! If you and your children are having more melt downs it's ok. If you are having more blow ups it's ok. If you are feeling alone, you're NOT alone.  If you've become friends with the mail carrier that's ok too.
If you keep seeing all the posts of parents who are seemingly hitting the ball out of the park, so to speak, just know ... that ball is hitting them in the face on some days they just aren't posting those moments on social media. 
Alright, now pull up those boot straps and know that 
YOU ARE ALL  KINDS OF  AWESOME!!

A Groovy Song and Some Thoughts on Covid-19

So, there is this song from the Bahamas,  that has been rolling around in my noggin this past week.  (please scroll to the bottom and press play) First off, it's just a groovy song.. yes I did just say groovy, did you press play? It's groovy right? Second,  it talks about something we all have been given a lot more of lately.... TIME. All the time in the world...  don't you want some of that?

This pause that we all have been given, although it is scary and we don't know what is around the corner, and we all want to believe that life will go back to normal in a few weeks, the truth is none of us know. 

Not even the people, the government officials who are making the decisions for us right now, no one knows where we will be in a week or two weeks. 

But, in attempt to stay focused on whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is worthy of praise (see previous post) this song is making me think this time is a gift. 

What we do know is that  it is a time when we have been forced to slow down, and we don't like being told what to do, but maybe for just a moment it's a time we all get to remember what is truly important.  All the time in the world...  don't you want some of that?
We are given this incredible gift of time, and yet it is still so hard for us to slow down and reflect. I hear in myself and others the new shift of attention rather than looking inward,  the conversation is the stats of how many cases are in our area, or the challenges of home schooling, or what food was at the grocery store... don't get me wrong I'm right there with everyone with these topics, but I wonder how much of it all is a distraction from once again looking inside ourselves to hear the river of life  calling out...   It makes me think of this quote from the book Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser;   "All the while, deep within us, flows an endless river of pure energy. It sings a low and rich song that hints of joy and liberation and peace. Up on top, as we make our way through life, we may sense the presence of the river. We may feel a subtle longing to connect with it. But we are usually moving too fast, or we are distracted, or we fear disturbing the status quo of our surface thoughts and feelings. It can be unsettling to dip below the familiar and descend into the more mysterious realms of the soul." I want to hear the "low rich song that hints of joy, and liberation, and peace" and this is the perfect time to do that.  Please do you and your soul a favor and take some of this time to self-reflect, Elizabeth and her book Broken Open -How Difficult Times Can Help us Grow-  would be a good place to start. 

Despite the fact that we find ourselves inside, and possibly bored to tears with the Corona-virus outbreak,  find the ways , the things, the foods, the FaceTime visits, that make your soul sing and enjoy this groovy song while we wait this one out together. 

A Remedy To Worry and Anxiety

For as many, many years ...as far back as I can remember   my most favorite verse from the Bible has been Philippians chapter 4 verses 6-7. The text reads like this; (this is the Amplified version cause I like words... a lot) "Do not fret or have any anxiety about ANYTHING, but in every circumstance and in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with THANKSGIVING, continue to make your wants known to God.  And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of it's salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends ALL understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
(if you don't like so many words try finding this verse in the New Living version or NLT)
I have only memorized a few verses in the Bible over the many, many years that I have been reading  it's amazing-nes, and this verse was one that I could even tell you where to find it in that big ole book. 
The reason for this being my favorite, or as some would call it a "life-verse" is because believe it or don't, I am a very anxious person. I used to worry about everything, and therefore didn't sleep real well at night. So when I first came upon this verse I thought about how much it made sense to me that if I just brought my prayers with thanks to God the worry and anxiety would go away.  I'm here to tell you that honestly it worked a little, no actually it worked a lot, when I practiced praying about EVERYTHING.  Often times, I will admit though to you beloved reader that I didn't pray.  Instead I would fixate on the worry and then it soon would turn to anxiety, and then I soon would pour myself a glass of wine instead.  I'm just being honest.  This remedy has become like a muscle now though that if I work it, it grows HUGE and works every time. 
Still, there has been something missing for me all these years ... like a hole in a donut... mmm donuts... wait ok come back to me my thoughts. For a very long time,  I'm talking like over 30 years now... (insert wide eyed emoticon and granny emoticon too while you are at it) I haven't read these verses in succession of the following verse 8. 
Until the beginning of this year, I just memorized Phil 4:6-7 and verse 8 stood alone on an island that seemed unreachable.  I mean I read verse 8, but not with the company of verse 6 and 7. 
It's hard to explain that you can read something a million times and then suddenly read it, like it's the very FIRST time you have ever read it. 
Does that ever happen to you, am I alone here? Well, I'm here to say verse 6, 7, and 8 are BEST FRIENDS and should be kept together at ALL TIMES!
Here is verse 8 text; "For the rest, (or AND THEN) brethren and sister-then, whatever is TRUE, whatever is WORTHY of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is JUST, whatever is PURE,  whatever is LOVELY and LOVABLE, whatever is KIND, and WINSOME and GRACIOUS, if there is any VIRTUE, and EXCELLENCE, if there is anything worthy of praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS." When I read it this time it read like this to me; 
 STOP thinking about what isn't true, false imaginations, rehearsed arguments in your head only, scary and unsure things, lies about yourself and others.  
It basically said to me, think on GOOD things. 

Somehow, at the beginning of this year, verse *8 stuck OUT to me like it was in NEON lights.  AND this is what suddenly came to me like Oprah talks about having an AWE HA moment,  or is it Ha ... AW HA ? Whatever, you get what I'm saying, it made me think about these verses like a math equation for the problem,  for the very real issue of worry and anxiety in my life. Problem to solve ; 
Worry and Anxiety
Solution; 
Prayer + Graditude+ Thinking on Good THINGS= PEACE. Now, beloved reader I don't know if you are a person of faith or not, but even if you are not I think we can all agree that pausing to pray or meditate, living thankfully for what you do have, and staying focused on good things is truly a remedy for this worrisome and anxious time.
Here are some of my prayers with thanks these days;
For those that are having trouble breathing, I pray healing, and thank God for the air in my lungs. For those that are in positions of leadership, I pray wisdom, and thank God for eternal wisdom. For those who are already feeling financial burdens unexpected, I pray for relief and thank God for provisions unseen.  For those that feel alone right now, I pray comfort and good neighbors that have eyes to SEE them, and I thank God for all those who are currently looking for ways to be a good neighbor.  God make me a good neighbor.  For those that are international students that can't fly home, I pray for surrogate moms and dads to shelter these and doors to open all over to strangers that soon will become family, and I thank God for family. For those that work in the health field and are on the frontlines of this virus, I pray protection and I thank God for miracle workers.
I pray too for you dear reader that you might have peace that surpasses all understanding,  peace like a river, peace that calms this storm and leads you beside quiet waters,  Peace that is that tranquil state of your soul.  

Joy in Jen Hatmaker

Ok y'all can I just pretend that I'm a southern belle for hot minute? What is bringing me SO much JOY right now is listening to my gurl Jen Hatmaker (you can find her here) on her blog or her podcast on Spotify which is titled,
 FOR THE LOVE.
I stumbled upon her podcast the other day when I was scrolling Spotify, and whimsically looking for some funny talkers. The title of her podcast just struck a chord of joy in my heart so I gave it a listen.  She arranges her podcast in FOR THE LOVE series like; For the Love of Faith Icons, For the Love of Power House Women,  For the Love of Finishing Strong etc.  The first podcast I listened to, and the one that caught my attention right away was her recent interview with the beloved Beth Moore. Beth is a bible study teacher from way back when, (another Southern gal)  that I have gleaned so much from over the years. The interview, well as the southern would say, "it just dilled my pickle!" From that podcast on I have been in full blown stalking Jen Hatmaker mode... not really just on social medias and books, and I promise I won't end up outside your house Jen... unless you invite me to, then I'd gladly sit down with you on any given Sunday and share a cup of.... well, anything your drinking girl, cause I like your Kool-Aid !! As I quickly discovered Jen has been "busier than a moth in a mitten!"  She is the momma of 5 kids, pastors wife, speaker, writer, non profit organizer, and funny all around southern belle, etc.  As, I dug a little deeper into the vortex that is Hatmaker, Jen INC.  I found out that I had known of her and her work many moons ago. Little did I know, or remember but, I had actually read one her books titled  Seven An Experimental Mutiny Against Access, many many, suns and moons ago when we lived in Redmond Washington in an 800 sq ft cabin and I was desperately looking for ways to minimize. Do y'all remember that phase in the Scofield story book? Well, let me remind you it goes something like 6+6+ 800 sq ft = ADVENTURE TIME!! That's the trimmed down version if you remember or lived that time with us just skip ahead, if not here's a more detailed account; When one lives 12 miles outside of Seattle, one tends to find the activist books, the revolutionary ways of life, the culture of recycle, renew, repurpose quite easily. I believe I bought her book in a book store because... Amazon prime was not even a thing yet, and the reason I found it was because the category and department I was shopping in those days was all about REDUCE, REUSE, RECYLE, or something like that.   Boy howdy did that book challenge my sox right off to downsize and re-prioritize our little(no so little) family of 6... that's right  S I X people living in only 800sq ft.  Sidenote- I still can't believe that we lived in that tiny cabin for 4 years and I double can't believe that the last year we added 6 more, that's right I said S I X more.  We added 6 to our already overcrowded 6 humans. We had a DOZEN, 12, TWELVE, ....  people sharing 800 sq ft. and one bathroom, on a septic tank, no dishwasher, and one source of heat, an old wood stove.  To be fair to the sanity level of us all Moses and Dan did build a beautiful outhouse for us all to partake in. If you don't believe me or remember this season here's proof... it really did happen.  Oh how beloved that outhouse became ...

Those were the days!! (insert wide eyed emoticon here) After I devoured her book and gave her props for taking her Texas style life down a notch,  I passed that book on to my sister and then had forgotten about her entirely. Shh... please don't Jen because we are quickly becoming BFF's in my mind.  The book Jen and I are going thru together right now(did you like that, we are in this together) is brilliantly titled, Of Mess and Moxie. Every night, you can find me cozied up in bed with this book and laughing with Jen about her beautiful life. Y'all this book has made me happier than a hound dog with TWO tails ! Speaking of hound dogs tell me your thoughts, about a coon hound puppy making it's way into my life right now? This is just a short and sweet update of what is bringing me buckets full of JOY right now, so if you are looking for a lil sweet, crazy funny, pure JOY too,  give my gurl a lookie Lou, and tell her I sent you right over like Red Rover. 

A Study on Joy Part 1

I have been really enjoying my new word for 2020
J O Y
In the years past I have looked up all the quotes associated with my new year word as a way of just trying to stay focused on the word, and stay in the mode of learning and growing in that word for the year ahead.
This year I have to admit that I've been praying a lot to get a good handle on the word JOY. 

I have always felt that Happiness and Joy are so similar it's hard to find the difference between them. 
There is indeed a difference beloved reader.
"Happiness depends on things that happen.  Joyfulness is never touched by external conditions." -Oswald Chambers-
That quote pretty much sums it up ... I read it and thought well... thank you Oswald no need to look any further. But, I do want to ... HAMMER TIME... break it down for ya...
To me this means that I can have bad days when I don't feel happy at all, but JOY remains deep down in my soul as an anchor because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this bad day will pass, and JOY will come in the mourning.
"There may be pain in the night, but JOY comes in the morning" Proverbs 30:5
We all have times of sorrow, loss, grief, and just plain ole everyday bad days, and that scripture doesn't diminish those moments, days, or even years.  To me it speaks of hope for the future and an internal condition that can't be touched by the external. External things are SO big sometimes that they can suck the life out of any happy hiker on this trail of life, but JOY still remains deep, deep down below the surface of things.
This is a place of knowing and believing that;  "The best is yet to come!"
It's not just a catchy phrase on a bumper sticker... or a t-shirt you wear on a happy day... it's a lifestyle trait of one who KNOWS that this too shall pass, and there will be a new, and different day. A day that is; "Fresh ... with no mistakes in it."
More on this train of thought is in my noggin, but for now, that's all I've got.
I'd love to hear from you beloved reader on your thoughts regarding joy vs. happiness.

New Year, New Word, and New Relationships

Well hello there beloved reader and Happy Happy New Year!! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are ready for 2020.  It has been a bit since I've had time to write down some words that are worth sharing.  I sit and type these words with a full heart and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this beautiful life. For a whole month I had all 4 of my Fab4 home and we had some fun making memories together. The sink was overflowing.  The shoes left around the house were being tripped over. BUT the memories being made were a priceless treasure to me. As I put Chloe back on a plane to NY Friday morning I didn't cry, there was no moping..(ok maybe a lil mopey later that afternoon, but I think that's only because the caffeine wore off) mostly there was  only  'Comfort and Joy' knowing that our time together was well spent.  I'm sure the reason for that comfort and joy is because of some thoughts I want to share with you beloved reader.   

I have been thinking that with this new year I would like to set a (dare I say the word...) GOAL to write more frequently, but that being said let me tell you about the relationship I have had with the word goal.  I'm not sure why, but somewhere along the years I stopped being friends with the word "goals." Maybe, its my non-committal attitude(even though I've been committed for 25 years now to one amazing man) or my live  "foot loose and fancy free" inner spirit of spontaneity that resists the word GOALS, but this year I have decided we should be friends again. It's not that I ever thought it was bad to have goals, but whenever I set them in years past, pre New Years word era, I epically failed at them.  In the years when I was a goal setting person if I didn't meet the goal I set I would get utterly depressed, or as Anne with an  'E' would say I fell into, "the depths of despair" so I just decided we were not going to be friends anymore.  But, this year there is a stirring to re-kindle that relationship of having goals or at least think about having goals.  Instead of having goals for several years now I have prayed for a word to inspire my year in a broad non committal way this has worked wonders in keeping me out of that depth of despair failure frame of mind.  Last year however,  my New Years Word was Rejuvenate and boy howdy did I love, and become friends with that word.  I wanted desperately to bring back into my life some things that I had long let go of for no in-particular reason.   What I learned in the process of this word taking action in my life  was that part of rejuvenation taking the drivers seat of life you have to allow for the doors of your soul to be opened back up to what may have been set aside for survival sake. The word Rejuvenation is not a "survival mode" word and that's what I wanted, and set out to do and prayed would happen last year. I wanted to get out of survival mode life, and into a more intentional way of living and being. Thankfully, setting that word at the forefront of my soul as an intention WORKED!!  So much so, that now I'm open to this New Year having some goals, and like a cherry on top I will add a WORD of intention. My main goals for this year I will keep private for now, just because this relationship is new and ya know you can't go blasting new relationships on Social media too soon... LOL!! However I'd love to share with you beloved reader My NEW word for this year, which came to me by way of a quote I saw on Social media right before Christmas; "fling wide, then, the portals of your soul.  He will come with that LOVE which you long to feel; he will come with that JOY into which you cannot work your poor depressed spirit, he will bring PEACE which now you have not;  he will come with his flagons of wine and sweet apples of love, and CHEER you till you have no other sickness but that of love o'erpowering,  LOVE DIVINE."  -Charles Spurgeon
That quote really resonated with me, not because I didn't already have Joy or Peace in my life, but both of these things I could always use more of. Then after my birthday I saw this sign, that I fell in deep like with... so  I treated myself to this sign that I do believe I might leave up all year as a reminder of what brings me "Comfort and Joy."

And JOY is the word for me in 2020. Unspeakable  Joy  is  Rising in my Soul... As I was looking back at last years blog post for the New Years word I read what I wrote at the end of  my blog regarding joy; "There is joy once again. Joy that doesn't pass away with the cruel, harsh winds of life. Joy that is the underlying current of my heart. Joy that isn't affected by how much is in my bank account or my closet. Joy that doesn't leave me even though two of my four are no longer under my roof. (currently only one who left for NY is now no longer under this roof)  Joy from knowing my source of rejuvenation will never leave me or forsake me.   Joy in my salvation."
It's a funny thing when you read your own words and are like ... ya that's what I'm talking bout!! Circumstantial joy will come my way this year by way of;  my parents 50th anniversary  my 25th anniversary  Solomons graduation from High School Chloes graduation from Culinary Institute of America  Emma auditioning for the Voice again Isaiah starting his sophomore year on Monday at Carson High where both Mo and I graduated and I'm sure many other joys. 
But, my intent is that joy would still exude from my soul even when it's just a Tuesday afternoon and I come home to a sink full of dishes.  I hope and pray and intend to study more about the word Joy and continue to be friends with the word 'goals' and even do more than think about setting some goals. 
So here's to all that and more! Happy 2020 beloved reader,  there is  Nothing But Love for you here!

Let's Talk Kayne West .... and Jesus

I was recently made aware of the new Kayne West album Jesus Is King.
I will admit I have not really ever been a fan of his, mostly because I don't really care for rap music all that much. I can listen to it in small amounts, but my young adults really seem to gravitate to this genre of music so I try to learn the artists they are listening to so, if nothing else I can rap along with them ... I probably can rap like maybe.... two three words and then my appreciation for this genre of music expands greatly because it is NOT easy to do. Needless to say,  I really like rap songs that have singing at the chorus, because then I can really participate in the song.  All that to say I know nothing about Kayne West except that he's married to Kim Kardashian(which I'm embarrassed to admit that's all I know), AND about 5 months ago I watched an interview with him and David Letterman. In this interview my radar for him went up because at the end of the interview he starts talking about this new music project he's doing AND that he is having CHURCH services on SUNDAYS!! (Insert wide eyed emoticon here) I went on the inter webs and tried to find every link, every  YOU- tube, every amount of info there was about what this man Kayne was up to, and my heart got all kinds of excited that he might be a brother now in the faith walk called Christianity.  Then this album came out and that excitement turned into full blown chills of Holy Spirit confirmation that this is a brother from another motha! 
Now, this is what I want to talk about in one of his songs he says about the Christians being the ones to judge him for this brand new insight and public display of praise and adoration for Jesus. It makes my heart so sad that the people group that should be the MOST supportive, the MOST encouraging, the MOST welcoming is often times found on the other side of that fence.  WHY is that? THIS SHOULD NOT BE.
I want to scream ... but of course I don't .... but I really want to scream out WHO MADE YOU THE JUDGE, THE JURY, and THE END ALL BE ALL for who is a Christian who isn't ?  What a pompous and un-Christ-like position to be found in. When you think you have it all figured out, and you get to say who is in or who is out... God forgive you for trying to take a seat in the THRONE of THRONES.  Only ONE gets that honor, privilege, and role and that is the DIVINE creator of all. This is why I love Jesus because all that I can see in the gospels is love. He had nothing but LOVE for all people except the religious hypocrisy that he saw in people. He still loved those who were judgmental hypocrites, but boy oh boy did he speak out against them. 
In the gospel of Mark 9:38-41 Jesus disciples come to him and say basically we are noticing these people coming out and doing work in your name, but they aren't one of us .. and Jesus probably with a wide eyed emoticon look on his face tells his friends, and followers, "Whoever is not against us, is for us!" I love this about Jesus because his main mission in walking among us was to welcome and save ALL people! You don't have to be anything but human, you don't have do anything but believe, and if you happen to express your love and adoration for Jesus in a rap song you better believe he's up there jamming with you!
Now, if you happen to read this and haven't yet listened to this new album go now and get your jam on. My favorite song is God Is. 
That's all for now ... happy listening and rapping along. 

Don't Wish it Away

I woke up this morning with Elton Johns lyrics in my head, "Don't wish it away Don't look at it like it's forever Between you and me I could honestly say That things are only gonna get better" I have no doubt that this song was on my brain because this past weekend I got to finally see the movie about Elton Johns life- Rocket Man. If you haven't already seen this epic movie, and IF you're an Elton fan do yourself a favor and go rent it right now. It is one for the library of keepers. But, I think this song was on my brain more for the lyrics themselves, and not just because I recently saw this beautiful mans life story.  I've been trying really hard to stay in the present moment, and not reflect too much on the past with weepy emo thoughts, or project too anxiously upon the future.
I'm thinking about all the years when the kids were little and the day to day was so much more difficult for me physically. 
I spent a good portion of those years "wishing them away" with thoughts like; 'I can't wait until...  they can do their own laundry make their own lunches bathe themselves buckle themselves in walk to the car feed themselves  WIPE THIER OWN BUTTS (just keeping it real) etc...' All the moms and dads of littles know full well what I'm talking about right now.
It's not that I wasn't completely grateful for their precious little souls, it's just that they were all consuming at the time and there was literally no time, (not even to go to the bathroom) that was my own. It's a very self sacrificing time raising littles. Your time is no longer your own and you either get up real early, or stay up way late to get ANYTHING done. 

Fast forward 21 years later into this parenting gig, and I think about how many days I wished away what I now look back upon so fondly. I can't go back and take those thoughts away, but I can work very hard right now in this present moment to be grateful for where we are all at now.
Oh beloved reader I am SO grateful that not only did I survive those early years, but I can honestly say, things will only get better.
That's all I wanted to shout out into the universe today.
If you are a parent struggling with the present moment of where your kids are at stay strong and listen to Elton... don't wish it away, and if I can add to that don't fast forward it either. Let your kids be kids and make messes, and wear funny clothes, and sing that song again for 1000x because dear one that will be the stuff they remember. Don't worry about the do-list and just be with them... that stuff will all get done... or it won't maybe for today and it's really ok. The dishes and laundry will ALWAYS be there but their sweet little souls will grow up and soon live a very independent healthy lives outside of your scope. Enjoy the moments of nothing-ness.  Enjoy the moments of play. Enjoy the chaos and make it count!!


Also, if there are any among you beloved readers, who feel like encouraging ME for this young adult stage in life I'd love to hear from YOU! 
 

She Walks In Grace

I've been reading a lot of poetry lately, and it has inspired me to write again. For so long I haven't had much to say, but reading others inspirations has given me some of my own. I hesitate to admit that I wrote this poem in almost a plagiaristic way from the poem written by George Gordon, Lord Byron - "She walks in beauty" I suppose if you read the poem(which you should) you will see I only stole the first few words, "She walks" because they inspired me to think about the way I want to be noticed for how I walk out this life.  So here is to my everlasting love of words and to poetry.  I hope you enjoy ….

  She walks in Grace She kneels in Solitude She waits in Hope She listens actively She works with Encouragement She sows in Peace She loves with Passion She fights for Justice She grows in creativity  She shapes with words She plays while dancing She parents humbly She sings with joy She plants in the future She praises in reverence  She partners eternally. 

Music Changes Everything

(PC-Daniel Piker)
There is something so amazing to me about music and how it changes the atmosphere. I'm sitting here listening to Billie Holiday, typing these words and feeling that all is right in the world, simply because she is serenading me while I blog about music in my life.   
“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” ― Plato   I woke up this morning thinking about how grateful I am for the power of music, and how it has built and shaped me.
I grew up in a very musical household.
My dad was a DJ for close to 30 years of his early career. My favorite stories are those recollections of when he met several famous people up in Lake Tahoe from interviewing them over the years. His record collection is beyond amazing because of the years in the music industry.
There was ALWAYS music on in the Pellant house, and often times he would have us kids come to work with him and do commercial spots or just chill there with him while he spun his discs round and round. Because of his love for music and artists, I soon became a big jazz music fan. My dad comes alive when jazz music is playing in the background.  As a young girl I remember thinking how happy it made me to see him tapping his foot or bobbing his head to the tunes from Louie, Ella, or Billie.
“A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.” ― Leopold Stokowski
My mom comes from a musically talented family that to this day just amazes me. I remember her parents, my grandparents, singing and playing the organ and accordion all the time. There was always a show happening in the LeSage home.  My LeSage grandparents wrote songs together that thanks to my Uncle Gene we still have recorded and can now treasure for years to come.

My mom used to be in a band with her 3 brothers and would tell stories of singing in front of people even though she was incredibly shy. My Uncle Gene can sing in a tone that you would swear Elvis is Still in the building, and my Uncle Jimmy... well he's without a doubt a musical genius.
You can sing just about any tune to my Uncle Jimmy and even if he has never heard a lick of the song before in his life, his fingers get to working on the piano, and they get going so effortlessly that you would think in a matter of minutes he not only has played the song before, but that maybe he should have written and composed it himself because he will add licks and sounds that make it sound even better than the original ! In all of my life I have never met a more talented musician than my Uncle Gene and Uncle Jimmy.
“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” ―Albert Einstein 
With all this talent and appreciation for music is it any wonder that young Noël found herself singing to her moms records of Karen Carpenter's songs for hours and hours just to sound like one of her mom's favorite singers?   Early on it was evident that I loved to sing.
Fun fact for ya- I took 7 years of voice lessons from Mr. Peebles in Carson City, and soon started to have solos and parts in musicals that still to this day I look back on in awe that I was able to do that.  I can carry a tune without a doubt, but performing was not my jam. Like my mom, I was terribly shy and often times when I would stand in front of an audience I would look out from the stage and think ...  "What the HELL am I doing up here?"
Needless to say, that extreme shy quality was indeed a hinderance in further pursuing a life of music and performing. Thankfully, in my early teen years I came to know the lover of my soul and singing to him ... well that's a different story. 
 “Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.” ― Frank Zappa

Fast forward to present day, where I received one of the most amazing gifts a momma can receive ... a song from my oldest about lil ole me. 

What a gift!! I was a weepy hot mess of course after listening to the words, and the sound of her voice singing of days gone by. I look everyday for new songs created by my oldest daughter who lives in Seattle now. I search high and low on all her social media outlets, just longing for the sound of her voice. I wonder how in the world did this come to be, that she isn't afraid of the audience.  She is so brave in her pursuit for authentic songs that tell her story. My son Solomon has now taken on the hobby of making music on his computer and although he is very private and shy about his musical talent much like his momma, when he does share one of his creations I jump up and down on the inside with giddy school girl excitement. My son Isaiah plays the saxophone and piano and has a gorgeous manly man voice that truly astounds me.  And even Chloe who doesn't like to be recognized for her musical talent can truly carry a tune with all the rest of us and has such a beautiful voice as well.  
I can hardly believe that my DNA produced 4 kids who have this appreciation for music,and more talent musically than I have in my pinky finger. I hope and pray the musical gene continues to go on for generations to come. 
I suppose this blog is a bit indulgent, and there really isn't a moral to this story except to say,  That music truly does change everything!
So don't deprive yourself any longer...  
"Girl(or boy)put your records on" 
Sing and dance and let the soul have a reprieve from it all.