Music Changes Everything

(PC-Daniel Piker)
There is something so amazing to me about music and how it changes the atmosphere. I'm sitting here listening to Billie Holiday, typing these words and feeling that all is right in the world, simply because she is serenading me while I blog about music in my life.   
“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” ― Plato   I woke up this morning thinking about how grateful I am for the power of music, and how it has built and shaped me.
I grew up in a very musical household.
My dad was a DJ for close to 30 years of his early career. My favorite stories are those recollections of when he met several famous people up in Lake Tahoe from interviewing them over the years. His record collection is beyond amazing because of the years in the music industry.
There was ALWAYS music on in the Pellant house, and often times he would have us kids come to work with him and do commercial spots or just chill there with him while he spun his discs round and round. Because of his love for music and artists, I soon became a big jazz music fan. My dad comes alive when jazz music is playing in the background.  As a young girl I remember thinking how happy it made me to see him tapping his foot or bobbing his head to the tunes from Louie, Ella, or Billie.
“A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.” ― Leopold Stokowski
My mom comes from a musically talented family that to this day just amazes me. I remember her parents, my grandparents, singing and playing the organ and accordion all the time. There was always a show happening in the LeSage home.  My LeSage grandparents wrote songs together that thanks to my Uncle Gene we still have recorded and can now treasure for years to come.

My mom used to be in a band with her 3 brothers and would tell stories of singing in front of people even though she was incredibly shy. My Uncle Gene can sing in a tone that you would swear Elvis is Still in the building, and my Uncle Jimmy... well he's without a doubt a musical genius.
You can sing just about any tune to my Uncle Jimmy and even if he has never heard a lick of the song before in his life, his fingers get to working on the piano, and they get going so effortlessly that you would think in a matter of minutes he not only has played the song before, but that maybe he should have written and composed it himself because he will add licks and sounds that make it sound even better than the original ! In all of my life I have never met a more talented musician than my Uncle Gene and Uncle Jimmy.
“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” ―Albert Einstein 
With all this talent and appreciation for music is it any wonder that young Noël found herself singing to her moms records of Karen Carpenter's songs for hours and hours just to sound like one of her mom's favorite singers?   Early on it was evident that I loved to sing.
Fun fact for ya- I took 7 years of voice lessons from Mr. Peebles in Carson City, and soon started to have solos and parts in musicals that still to this day I look back on in awe that I was able to do that.  I can carry a tune without a doubt, but performing was not my jam. Like my mom, I was terribly shy and often times when I would stand in front of an audience I would look out from the stage and think ...  "What the HELL am I doing up here?"
Needless to say, that extreme shy quality was indeed a hinderance in further pursuing a life of music and performing. Thankfully, in my early teen years I came to know the lover of my soul and singing to him ... well that's a different story. 
 “Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.” ― Frank Zappa

Fast forward to present day, where I received one of the most amazing gifts a momma can receive ... a song from my oldest about lil ole me. 

What a gift!! I was a weepy hot mess of course after listening to the words, and the sound of her voice singing of days gone by. I look everyday for new songs created by my oldest daughter who lives in Seattle now. I search high and low on all her social media outlets, just longing for the sound of her voice. I wonder how in the world did this come to be, that she isn't afraid of the audience.  She is so brave in her pursuit for authentic songs that tell her story. My son Solomon has now taken on the hobby of making music on his computer and although he is very private and shy about his musical talent much like his momma, when he does share one of his creations I jump up and down on the inside with giddy school girl excitement. My son Isaiah plays the saxophone and piano and has a gorgeous manly man voice that truly astounds me.  And even Chloe who doesn't like to be recognized for her musical talent can truly carry a tune with all the rest of us and has such a beautiful voice as well.  
I can hardly believe that my DNA produced 4 kids who have this appreciation for music,and more talent musically than I have in my pinky finger. I hope and pray the musical gene continues to go on for generations to come. 
I suppose this blog is a bit indulgent, and there really isn't a moral to this story except to say,  That music truly does change everything!
So don't deprive yourself any longer...  
"Girl(or boy)put your records on" 
Sing and dance and let the soul have a reprieve from it all.

New Years Word 2019

At the beginning of every year I pray for a word that will bring me back to a theme if you will, for all of the new, fresh days ahead. 
This will be the 8th year of "New Year Words"  for me, and it's hard to believe that over these past years of words that center me all year, how truly prophetic they have become. 
In years past, the word usually has been something brewing in my heart for some time, and some years the word comes out of no where. This year the words I kept thinking about started with RE- Re-new Re-store Re-awaken Re-pent Re-pair Re-vive Re-generate And finally I came upon the word that encompasses them all 
REJUVENATE
When I looked up the definition of this word which is the first thing I do when I'm given my new years word, it had this phrase;
"To BREATHE new life into"
Last year my word was BREATHE and true to form this word served me oh so well.
There were so many moments in 2018 that like a mantra I would tell myself to just "breathe" when life tried to take my breathe away. I'm sad to see this word go because like I've said before these words become like a friend to me over the course of 365 days. Still, it is time to move forward and take what I can from the moments that my breathe and the Holy Spirit that is breathe, centered me last year.
As  I walk into 2019 knowing that there are some things in my life that I need to "Breathe new life into" I think about what needs to be rejuvenated in my heart so it doesn't begin to harden.
My grandmother used to say,  "If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart." Of course to truly repeat these words as she would say them so often, it must be said with an east coast accent with emphasis on HEART.
One of the main areas of my heart that I want some rejuvenation to appear is that of my walk with God. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as I look to him to rejuvenate my dreams, my hopes, my health, and so many other areas of my life he will be faithful.   For far too long I have walked in worry and anxiety when peace and serenity are what he offers me. I've walked in doubt and fear when faith and hope are what he freely gives.
I've walked this path of faith and salvation for many years now, but there are times in this faith walk when my step has been either a tad bit behind or ahead of him.  My hearts cry today is that I will once again hold his hand in faith and trust what he has for me.  That the areas of my heart and my life will be once again rejuvenated by his presence and love.  I desperately want a steadfast spirit in the days ahead.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit."    Psalm 51:10-12
Today, I'm sitting here on this Sunny Sunday morning here in Reno Nevada and my heart is filled with so much joy. Because although, I'm not always in step with him in an instant that all can change.  There is joy once again. Joy that doesn't pass away with the cruel, harsh winds of life. Joy that is the underlying current of my heart. Joy that isn't affected by how much is in my bank account or my closet. Joy that doesn't leave me even though two of my four are no longer under my roof.  Joy from knowing my source of rejuvenation will never leave me or forsake me.   Joy in my salvation.
I want my heart to stay full of love and all the fruits that come by way of hanging out with the lover of my soul.   "Surprise us with love at daybreak;  then we'll skip and dance all the day long...  Let you servants see what you're best at- the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,  confirming the work that we do.  Oh, YES. Affirm the work that we do!" Psalm 90:14-17
So cheers to this new year and this new word.  Let there be rejuvenation of all the areas in life that would otherwise lie dormant and become stale. Here's to new beginnings and getting in step with my creator once again.

To Letting Go

Well, beloved reader it's official we are a two kid household. 
With one daughter still in Seattle, and one now in New York, I came home and told my boys that we could be the 4 corner family if when they graduate High School, one goes to LA and the other to Florida. 
Our youngest son Isaiah's response to that was, "Oh God... I hope not!!"  His sentimental baby heart still wishes we all lived together as one big happy family on a piece of property with all his Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins. 
He's a young man-child after my own heart.
As much as I wish, like Isaiah that we could always all stay together, I knew the day would come when our monoscofab4  would all go their own separate ways.

We are half way thru that door right now, with one foot in the door of having let go, and one in the world of high school teenage boys.  I find myself peeking in on my boys a tad bit more(with loud knocks on the door of course, cause ya know there are just some things you can't un-see) and hugging them a little longer.  I have to say, that despite the emotional tug on my momma heart strings from time to time, and the obnoxious amount of text messages that I leave for my girls to Face Time me, overall I have me some of that biblical peace that "surpasses my own understanding" going on right now.   It is strange to me that I am able to be at peace with these major changes in our little family unit? For many years when they were little just the thought of this time would take my breath away, and not in a good way.  Now, here I sit and type these words about letting go, and it feels exciting, peaceful, and as it should be in a very good way.

It comes back to this...  There have been moments all throughout my faith based life where I have had to let go of what I think is the best possible outcome, and trust my creator for what will be. 
I suppose, that is in fact what faith is. 
"Now faith is the assurance of what we hope and the conviction of things not seen." 
I'm sitting here processing, and writing today listening to my friend Chris Heifners song, To Letting Go on Spotify and I'm in awe of what I'm feeling.
My mom always said, THE hardest part of parenting is the "Letting Go" stage, and although it is no walk in the park, it is strangely like the beginning stages of their lives.  It reminds me of when I would be standing over them sleeping peacefully in their bassinet watching to make sure they were breathing, and a still small voice would say, let go and trust me.    I made that choice early on that I wouldn't be the helicopter parent that never trusts their child to do ANYTHING on their own.   I chose to trust that the creator of the universe, the one that gave these precious lives to us is once again the ONLY one who will sustain their life.   It was a choice in my heart to trust our creator that He will always go with them wherever they go, and to the places that I couldn't. 
A choice to pray, instead of worry.
Like on the first day of school when they all got out of the car, I would pray God go with them, help them to be a light that shines, and protect them from what I cannot.  I hold every so tightly to prophetic words spoken over them that they would be fearless because of this faith and trust. I trust the process, trust the hand, trust that their roots go deep, and that those little baby trees that are now growing so strong and vibrant won't get knocked over by the winds of change and this crazy life.  I trust that they are each other's best friends and will come back to each other time and time again when they need to drink from the abundant well of family love and support.

"To trust .... is to know you.... it is like standing on the edge and tasting love and life, such a sacrifice from this world and all it's ways." chris heifer-letting go
I didn't think it would happen as fast as all the mommas who went before me said it was gonna go, but if I've learned anything at all these almost 21 years of parenting it's to listen to those mommas that have gone before me.
They now all tell me, "don't worry they will be back!" I believe those wise momma's, and now I would like to add to what they've said on my own momma merit, and say   to young parents reading this, it goes even FASTER than they say!!
That's not to say that I don't feel your pain young parents. I remember so well, when you are in the throws of temper tantrums, dirty diapers, sleepless nights and zombie like days where only 10 cups of coffee give you somewhat of a pulse!
Those days are so long that they sometimes run into the next 24 hrs. and feel like they go on for an eternity, BUT trust me when I say... it goes FASTER.
The days are long, the years are short, and the decades even shorter. 
I'm confident with an assurance that I know is divine that both my girls are exactly where they need to be in life right now, and I'm beyond grateful for their lives, and for their Face Time phone calls home. They are both truly, my "built in besties" and some of the most inspiring young women on planet earth. Truly... they astound me. 
I'm confident that the next 3 years with my teenage boys will go even faster than the years did with their sisters, because that's just how this train gets going.  It gains momentum with each passing station in life. These young men that still live under my roof and that I can still cherish the sounds of laughter with their buddies in the other room, are truly some stellar fellars , that I feel honored to know. I'm looking forward to these years where I'm outnumbered as the only female in the house.
I'm also confident that when Moses and I are back to where we started with just the two of us(we can make it if we try... sing it you know you want to) we will hold each others hands, hop in that VW bus and visit those 4 corners if that's where the road leads us. 

Here's to letting go and moving forward!