Here's to Yardwork !!

These are pictures from the backyard of my friend Christene's best friends yard where we stayed this weekend. Her name is Caroline and she lives in Pacifica, California. Now I know Sparks, Nevada is no Pacifica but her backyard was the inspiration and motivation I needed to tackle my own backyard.
I spent three hours in the backyard raking up leaves that are about two years old. I think ever since we got Baxter and he chewed a hole through Mo's leaf blower/vacumer thingy, we have not really done much out in the back yard in the way of leaves. What a mess. I will still need to spend another good 8 hours to get the backyard ready for the first Scofield attempt at a garden. 

We have always wanted to plant one but never have and I am determined to do it this year. I am going to start off small and the hardest part we have already decided will be figuring out how to keep our dogs out of this new found excitement that will soon be entering their world.

My hands, back, fingers, legs and eyeballs are pretty darn tired from all this manual labor but here's to having the time to do some much needed yard work.

You know you are glad to be done with school when you enjoy yard work!! 

I Blog because I Can

-I don't have much to write about, but still I want to write something because I CAN ! It feels so good to be done with school for now. The weight has lifted at least for now and it feels amazing. Also the class I have been dreading, procrastinating to even take, and ulcered my way through I actually got a "B" in. A  "B" people!! 

Math is a dream stealer for me. IT has robbed me beyond measure. Kept me from accomplishing much more in life than I care to mention. It will not win though!! I am bigger than Math.

-Kids are awesome. I love them more than words can express. It is the end of an era that I will no longer have children under 5 in this house and I have to say I have been having some strange newborn cravings. Crazy, I know but still they are there. It is a good thing I have some friends who are having newborns that I will soon get to snuggle.

-My husband has a funny alter ego called Meisha. He's from Russia. His accent can pull me out of just about anything and that is just one more thing that I love about this man named Moses.

-My dogs although crazy and neurotic are the cutest dogs ever! What they bring to me that I will never know but I do love them.

-People are funny, I being one of them. For the rest of my life I will forever be in awe of humanity. People are strong beyond measure. People are good and dynamic and so very interesting. If I didn't love children as much I would head down the road of studying and helping grown-up people. Children become grown- up people so that is where I will remain.

-Now, I have no more random thoughts except this, I did not want to title this blog random thoughts one more time.

I love you all and good night!

Checking In with some Random Thoughts

-I am almost finished with this semester of school and I have to say that I am so ready to be done. Not that you didn't already know that but just in case you didn't I thought I would let you know.

*Total Random note for the day- We have doves. They make strange noises but I kinda like the sound that comes from them at all hours of the day.

Okay back to school, I have decided to finish out the rest of my classes online except the one Math class that I need to graduate. Online works so well for me and is so easy. I also realized this semester that when I am in school I am not as focused here at home as I would like to be, that combined with working again is not a good combo for me. So as much as I would like to take a bunch of classes in the next few semester and be done..... I am not going to.

For the sake of my family I think this is a wise choice. I don't want to look back on this time when I could be playing with my kids and regret the time I was on the computer getting a piece of paper I can hang on a wall and that's about all it will change. I have made a decision about this degree thing. I think it's funny how since I graduated high school I have been taking classes. Some I have really enjoyed and have learned a lot from and some I could have done with out but all these classes and I still don't have what they think is a degree in Early Childhood Education. Come ON PEOPLE!! 

-On to another topic that has really been intriguing me lately. Men and Women, are we really that different or is it more our personalities that are so different in life? As I am watching my kids grow I am realizing that some of these things we deem man vs. woman differences really just are personality differences. It's interesting to me and I would like to investigate it further.

I was thinking about when Mo and I first got married we were reading through a book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. I bought that book hook, line, and sinker. Now after having been married and with my hubby for coming on 14 years and 15 years together, I think I would like to take a second look at it.

- I can't wait to do two summertime things. Camp and read for pleasure. I am so looking forward to reading some great books that have been sitting on my self just calling my name and I think I start my book review again just for my own fun and entertainment.

-Finally there are some really entertaining things going on in my neighborhood these days.

 Aside from the burners who are generally low key and mellow now, the Adult group home that is literally just a few houses down has provided for some recent entertainment and has been quite interesting. They go out for a walk at least 4 to 5 times a day. The patients don't talk to strangers or so much as make eye contact and a while back one of them asked me for a ride. I gave her one. She just stared at me the whole time.  I think I might blog more about this later. We have a dog that comes and literally loves to get my dogs in a big tizzy. We have construction from every angle keeping me from parking in my driveway most days. Houses selling for less than dirt. Neighborhoods are interesting, don't ya think?

And now....I should be getting back to finishing up this semester.

Why? a tribute to my friend Nicole Crossman

"It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light"

Driving home from work today a song from Rascal Flatts came on called, Why. It's basically about a person who commits suicide. It made me cry like a baby. It felt good to let go of some tears about this topic and especially about my friend Nicole Crossman, who is the most recent loved one lost from this crappy adjective. It felt good to feel more about her life lost because for the most part I felt anger when I would think about what she had done, but there was a line in this song that really reminded me of how funny she was and how much I really did love her. 

"You always played with passion, no matter what the game. When you took the stage you shined just like the sun."

In a million, trillion years she would never have been the friend I would think that would ever do something like this. 

"I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong."

My friend Nicole Crossman worked with kids most of her teenage and adult life. My sister met her first and then got her a job at my Aunt's school and that began her journey into Early Childhood Education. She worked at the Recreation Department for over 10 years and that's where most of my memories with her are from. She was alot fun!! She had two girls and I had the distinct pleasure of watching her younger one who was friends with my daughter, Chloe. I would bring them to preschool together and pick them up together. I have pictures in my scrapbook of the girls, of me and Nicole working at the Rec. Dept., of her and my friend Judy at my wedding.

"Now, in my mind I keep you frozen as a 17 year old."

I remember one time I sat in the car in the parking lot while my sister and Nicole went and got their hair done. I wasn't cool enough to be with the big girls but did I ever want to be cool enough. So I sat there waiting for the fun to come back.

"Now here we are gathered in our little hometown. This can't be the way you wanted to draw a crowd."

 I was sitting there crying  and in front of Isaiah. When he asked why I was crying I kept it simple with my answer but he kept wanting to know more. Then he said he was still sad about Emma's friend who had died last year in her class. I didn't even realize because he was only 3 at the time that he was paying attention to all of last springs drama with Emma's classmate,(Alex was a 10 year old boy who hung himself) but apparently he was. He also knew exactly what that song was about which is shocking to me. These little people know so much more than we give them credit for. I know that, sometimes I think I just forget how closely they are paying attention to our every move.

"Why, that's what I keep asking"

Normally, when I cry I am a silent, hidden crier. Especially where my kids are concerned but this time I just needed that release and thought I will deal with whatever comes after. So, I tried to explain to my 4 year old as best I could this subject of suicide that is something that I still don't really even understand myself. These are the times in parenting that you think, I am not prepared enough for THIS!!  I of course was age appropriate and not sharing any details and the conversation ended with us having a big long hug.

"Why you'd leave the stage in a middle of a song"

It felt good to feel.

It made me realize how long the process of emotional healing really is and how important it is not to rush through it just because it causes uncomfortable conversations with my 4 year old.

I went home and had a great afternoon with my kids and hubby, then got a phone call from my dad about a friend of my parents who was only in her 60's who passed away in her sleep. The cycle of life just keeps coming at ya!!

"Oh but I do have one burning question, who told you life wasn't worth the fight?"

Solomon and the saga of the Earth worm

Solomon came in from pulling weeds today with a face so sad I thought he was going to cry. He said, "Mom, I killed a worm." It took everything within me to not bust out laughing over how distraught he was over this but, somehow I knew in my mommy knower this was one of those moments that was going to be a teachable one. He then proceeded to tell me that as he was pulling weeds he saw a worm. He said he dug around it trying to get it out but then when he pulled to get the rest of the worm out it broke. Can you say Ewwww!! He then went on to say that the worms are the protectors of the earth. I am assuming that he is getting this information from either his teachers at school or his dad who is also very bug and insect friendly. I told him of course this is misinformation and that God in fact is the protector of the earth. He created all the creatures and insects to work together perfectly and He is still in control.

So at this point he was crying and I said, "Sol they don't have a brain, or even any eyes. It's not bad because you didn't mean to kill it and although they play an important part to the echo system I think the world will still turn with one less worm on it."

After I got on the internet to show him how many worms are made in a day and that all my facts were correct I was feeling pretty good about my wonderful mothering skills and how I helped my sweet son feel better about this situation and taught him something in the process. I even felt there was somewhat of a spiritual lesson that I slyly snuck in there. So after I was feeling so good about my serious mama  skills he said, "I think why it made me cry is because it looked so gross"

"Oh,.... Oh is that all." 

I guess my mommy knower is a little off these days.

Being

I like the idea of just BEING. Not having an agenda. Not having a watch to keep track of. Not having any pressing appointments to keep. I can very easily slip into this mode of just BEING versus the mode of work and always having something pressing, pushing, waiting, doing, doing, and doing some more.

I think I could have been a nun except that I like sex. (Random, I know but I just had to go there) There is a joke about why nun's are named nun's but I digress :)

I also like to talk and so that too might have been a problem in the nun department.

They do however spend a good portion of their day just being. They grow vegetables. They pray. They cook, clean, and read. So aside from the not having sex and the talking oh and I also love my kids so that wouldn't have worked either. Oh, and I like being a part of the society not isolated from it.  Okay so I couldn't have been a nun but work with me here.

Thinking about living this life of Just Being in the midst of so much busy is a hard problem to figure out. I think God had some very good original ideas about it all though. A Sabbath is very important. A day to be just because. He knew we needed this day. We needed a day to remind ourselves of what is most important in this short time that we are here.

As the summer approaches I get very excited because I know that this is a good chunk of time that is given to reminding my children,  that being is just as important as doing. 

I would like to get to a place where I still follow this way of life that has been set before me. Somehow in the last year I lost sight of that. Seeing this in action recently made me realize how off track I  had become. 

There is another part of this just being that I also want more of and that is living my life without regret or apologies. I want to be at a place where I don't feel bad or even bothered for being different from the majority around me. I am not there yet either but even more than the day of Just Being I want everyday inside my soul to be at rest more than it has been before. 

I have grown and changed this past year in a way that has taught me a lot.  There are so many important lessons that came out of this very difficult year but probably the most important one that I don't ever want to forget is the one about BEING.

Being real.

Being present.

Being silent.

Being ready.

Being loud.

Being funny.

Being serious.

Being lazy.

Being happy.

Being sad. 

Being angry.

Being tired.

Being crazy.

Being........

Raley's

I made the conscious decision to go grocery shopping at Raley's today. I know that to do a big grocery store trip there I usually end up spending about 50 to 75 dollars more than I usually would spend at Wal-Mart or Winco but I have to say today it was worth it.

It was worth to not have to bag my own groceries. To have someone walk the second cart out to my car. To have them ask if I needed help unloading. To have room to walk down the cereal isle and to have a wide variety of fancy cheeses, olives, and wines to choose from. 

IT WAS WORTH IT!!

March- Fashion Challenge

The fashion challenge this month from friend Tasha G. was to wear a man's tie. I thought when she first emailed about this that it would be easy but turns out, not so much!!

I also have to admit that I was completely irritated with the stupid thing by the end of the day. It got in the way of everything. I suppose I could have worn one of those fancy pins for it but my honey doesn't own one and all the other pins I had to hold it down just weren't cutting it.

Also, what to wear it with was an issue for me. I had all these great ideas at first and then in the end I just wore Mo's shirt with it. If I didn't have the hat on I would have looked like a waitress. 

Anyway, I did it. It was fun and thankfully I work with people who don't mind if I walk around looking like a buffoon. Pretty much  3,4, and 5 year olds are very easily pleased when it comes to fashion :)

Friday

Today was a great day!

Not really any details that I can think of besides the weather that made it so great.

 That and that my friend Mindy brought be Starbucks. 

Oh and my kids are happy, and my hubby is amazing. 

My sister is home and I can see her whenever I want.

Oh and we BBQ'd

We have our home, our cupboards are full and life is good.

It was a great day and I am looking forward to this weekend.

Thursday

This morning was great. I love the Spring like weather that we get to enjoy if only for a few days. It makes everything seem more alive. Maybe I am affected by the weather, but then who isn't?

Great day at work. Then I went shopping at Winco. When I was down the soda isle getting my sparkling water a woman dropped a whole box of soda's and one exploded all over her. I felt so bad and I was really glad that I always carry around a thing of wipes. I am pretty sure even when I don't have little sticky fingers this is something I will still do. At the checkout  I always pretend when I am bagging my own groceries there that I am a grocery store employee and I challenge myself to see how quickly and efficiently I can bag my own groceries. 

Walked to pick the big kids up from school because I can and because I should. It was nice until Isaiah took a digger and because I baby him I carried him all the way home.

Then no one had homework so we played outside for a bit and then we all decided to watch a movie, but what movie could we all agree upon?? It took a minute and a few tears but finally it was decided by popular vote to watch My Girl.  Forgot how sad that movie is. Me and the girls cried and cried and boys just stared at us like we were from another planet. I have a feeling that might happen a lot in our house.

 Brie Cheese dip for dinner. It is that good and that filling!! Kids didn't like it. They thought it taste too much like Blue Cheese which none of them like.  Too bad Mo and I were the only ones who could enjoy this delicacy. 

Samantha B. came over to get a tattoo on her foot and it turned out beautiful. Made me want one on my foot but I don't think I am brave enough for the foot. I have heard it's a very painful spot. She is sitting like a champ though.

It was a pretty good day, looking forward to tomorrow..... sing along!!

Wednesday

I woke to the warmth in my room that has been missing in the mornings since last October.  Our room doesn't get any sunlight at all because of two massive trees that we have in the backyard and so in the winter time we have to use a floor space heater. It was nice this morning to wake up to a little bit warmer room. It makes the whole get up and get going process a little easier.

Preschool was busy this morning but fun. The kids are still learning about what comes out of an egg and we did a fun little game today with finger puppets. We were trying to figure out which animals/sea creatures came out of eggs. There were about 5 of the almost 20 or so puppets that I had no clue about. An octopus, squid, lobster, and 2 others I can' remember. Anyway I sent them home with those kids as  "homework" to find out whether they came out of eggs or not. One of the boys who got one of the puppets was not having it. He wanted nothing to do with homework, I thought to myself some one's older sibling must not like having homework and must speak of it with a vengeance.  

After work it was nice to come home to a clean house due to the fact that I spent countless hours last night organizing and basically keeping myself busy while Mo was on an onsite tattoo job. He has been doing at least 2 to 3 tattoos a week mostly out of our home and mostly in the evenings so I am finding that I am getting a lot done.

I do believe that my dogs have finally mellowed out. I am afraid to even say this because of jinxing it but they are doing better. No trash cans piledged, no running away attempts, no chewed up toys, furniture, or shoes and no accidents for a while. Really, this has been the case for some time now I think I am just now noticing it. One of the kids at preschool today said, " My mom doesn't like pets because they poop all over her backyard" I had to laugh as I told him  "Yep your mom is right they most certainly do." 

Had dinner at a friends tonight. I was so nice just to sit back and relax, watch a movie and not have to do the dishes. Thanks Jeni.

Now I am watching (halfway) Tango and Cash with Mo and getting ready for a bed.

It was a good day.

Tuesday

Found out later last night that my mother in law has breast cancer. Sigh, more tears. I am hopeful and prayerful that she will be just fine but all the same it is a shock!! Prayers appreciated. She goes for Surgery next Monday.  I have the day off so I will probably go and see her and try to put on a brave face.

I said goodbye to a friend who is leaving on Thursday with a brand  new baby and a 4 year old to Japan today. Her life is in transition and she is amazing to me. Handling it all in stride.

Called another friend who has not had to work in over, well... her whole life but had to get a job due to recent financial changes. Her and her hubby have not had a paycheck in over a year. I am hopeful that things will all work out for them.

I am making Corned Beef and Hash even though I don't like to claim my Irish I do have some and thought I would celebrate this Irish meal with some great friends.(Turned out oh so good if I do say so myself)

Still trying to think of an idea of how to wear a man's tie fashionably!!

Yelled at my kids, hate when that happens. Quickly said sorry but all the same I just don't like that when I yell and they look at me as though I have become a crazy woman because I have. I am a yeller in my weak moments and I hate this about myself :(

Got a call from a friend who I am going to see very soon and I can hardly wait. I appreciate that she is rearranging her whole weekly life just to squeeze in a few days with me. I haven't flown on an airplane since last year around this time when I went to see sister in Europe. I am a little nervous because of what happened last time I traveled but know I need to get past my fears because there is a whole lot of world left that I want to see.

I am enjoying blogging all this week because of Spring break. I am also enjoy a very clean house because of it as well.

Monday

I had a hard time getting my 4 year old out the door this morning. This used to be the sort of thing that would really upset me but as I am getting older and hopefully wiser in this parenting gig I am realizing some things. Sometimes, it's just really not worth it to get all worked up over 5 minutes and really, I mean really it's only 5 minutes.

Preschool - was great as per usual, except one lil friend who wasn't feeling so well, that's always a bummer :(  What a sweetie. Jesus help him feel better.

Today we talked about what comes out of an egg. It was so great and is truly one of my favorite things in the whole wide world to hear 3,4, and 5 year olds use their imaginations. I think it has got to be pretty much one of the greatest things when a 3 year tells you with all their heart, "A Lion comes out of an egg Miss Noel" hmm... really??

Today after school I went to visit my friend Christene who is doing Chemo right now for however long to battle brain cancer once again. It was great to see her and just chill for a visit. After leaving I thought of how amazing she is. What a fighter that girl is. So grateful for her friendship in my life. Love that girl. Jesus help her through this time. Tears. Sigh.

Then I went to pick up my big kids after school and they wanted to go to the school's book fair. I just can't resist cheap books. Makes me think of the line in You've Got Mail, " Of course they are going to love us we will sell them cheap books and legal stimulants!"

Then I got a phone call today that was so nice. It was after picking up kids from school. After we were settled here at home with some new books. After we had just had our homemade, yummy chocolate chip cookies for snack and my cell rings.

I knew who it was because of the ring tone. It's a song, " I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl" it was my boyfriend calling to tell me he wanted to cook dinner. 

Life is good even on a Monday.

Old People

Life is so strange. I wonder if I will ever get to a place where I understand fully this amazing place we get to occupy for a short time.

 I look at 80 year olds with envy. They have a sense of calm and peacefulness about them that I long for. They are no longer working on figuring things out. They seem like they have some things locked into their subconsciousness that helps them to get by.

I wonder if it is knowing how quickly indeed our time is here that helps them to get by with the day to day small stuff. 

I wonder if it's having to say goodbye to that one person they never thought they would be able to live without.

I wonder if it's that they have experienced so much and see with their own eyes, there is nothing new under the sun.

I understand this is not all older people but a great majority that I have known seem to be a bit like this in some way.

It saddens me greatly that now that I am of an age where I could really appreciate my grandparents they are no longer with me. I am remembering to appreciate what I do have still which are my parents. 

A good friend of mine lost her father a few weeks ago and I just think it really is so strange to be at a phase in life where I am worried about how much time I have left with people who gave me life. I don't like this. I wish I could skip this painful part of life , but then I look at all those who have gone before me in this area and see that they have survived. I know I will be okay. I know Jesus will help me but in the mean time I want to cherish the moments, not just in word but indeed, in DEED!!

Life and all it's seasons is strange.

The New Fashion Challenge from my friend Tasha

your fashion mission for march - (SO EASY i think)

to incorporate a man's tie into your daily wear and take a photo. 

**Come on ladies you can do this with me if you want and she gave prizes last time so just a little FYI - they were good prizes.

if you want her email to send your pics i will give it to you and then you can check 

my vw friends for last months blog post that she put up.

This one is going to be fun but I can't decide to wear it the normal manly way or as a bow in my hair, hmm.....??

Life, Laughing, Loving, Crying, and Music

I hate when I don't really have time to really blog. My post have been lame at best in my estimations, (except for my fashion week of course that was just plain fun AND for which I received and awesome prize) and it really does have to do with the fact that my brain is fried. 

When I finally do have the time to sit down and articulate a thought or two they all seem to just run together. This afternoon I still have a few more hours that I need to log into my math course before 11pm but I am taking a break to blog.

I started thinking about the last few weeks and how busy they have been and it has made me realize some things. I like to do a lot of things and have a hard time saying no to myself  until it hits me in the alone time department and then I wonder why I did that to myself again. Does anyone even know what I am saying?

 Basically, I am just saying there are not enough hours in the day and I hate being confined to the 24 that I am given.

This week while driving into to work I thought about my mom and started to get all choked up. I don't think that I could've  possibly appreciated my mom or dad more until I became a mom and realized some things. Anyway, I called her to just say that I loved her and that I am glad she is still on the other end to call and say that to. For those of us who still have our parents, remember there will come a day when they won't be there on the other end so seize the day and call your mom and dad just to tell them you love them.

Today I got really emotional after church thinking about my good friend Natalie and her hubby Chris, and baby V moving so far away. It just really makes me sad. I have been having many conversations to the Lord about this for weeks but alas, I know in my heart they are in good care. I just wish that they could have remained being cared for HERE!! Still, I know that I will keep in touch. There are some friends that just come and go but these are not those kinda friends for me. Natalie is a gem, truly like a little sister and I will miss her greatly. We will see each other when our book gets published though and when we  go on a book tour and so there is that :)

A good friend a while back said that I shouldn't hold back the tears. That a good cry is a good thing. I am feeling that lately when I need to cry the tears are readily available, but when I need to laugh.....I laugh so loud I scare myself and those around me. 

One final thought, they need to make a musical movie like ; Across the Universe, Mama Mia that uses the Cures music- don't ya think??

Billy Holiday

There is no finer music on this planet. 

Her voice will never again be mimicked. 

She is a true blues singer unlike any other. 

Her life is really very sad to me. 

When I listen to her music it just puts me in a happy place.

Just thought I would share that, and I wonder what if you could choose would be your music that puts you in a happy place???

Day 5- Red

Sorry for the delay on this one. The week kinda caught up with me and I just didn't have time to get this done. But here it is. Whew!!

Check.

Day 4 - Yellow

One word that should win me a prize- Rainbow

Another two words that should give me extra points- Toe Socks!!

Day 3 - Blue

I am not sure how well we pulled off blue. It was certainly a little less subtle than our other colors. Still, this was not a hard one because we could have just worn blue jeans and called it good. Now, tomorrow- yellow- that's going to get interesting. 

Emma is totally getting into this Tasha and I think you need to think of another fashion challenge for us harder than colors.

We both agreed that we could have done the dress under a skirt statement so bring it on!!