Part 2 of I don't know yet(Continued FORD saga)

My heart sank and I began to feel sick to my stomach. Mo prompted me to try the engine a few more times but this time it just clicked when I turned the key so they thought maybe it might be the battery. The police officer hooked up his battery jumper cables and still nothing. Moses came over to tell me that the engine was "blowed up", done, ca-put, gonzo. I sat there shocked. Surely, something could be done. At this point I was really feeling ill but had to make a decision as to who to call to come to our rescue and decided that my mom's house would be the best bet because someone is always home. The police officer kindly let me use his cell phone to make this call and thankfully my sister was home . After describing where we were, that she would need to bring mom's van because there would be so many for the car ride home, and that we didn't have our cell so she would just have to keep her eyes wide open for us she said she was on her way.
The police man needing to get back on the road after helping us for the last 2 hours said he would be by later to check on us. He drove off and there we all sat and sat and sat. There was of course the occasional bathroom break behind the protection of our vehicle and I did get out and try to wave down a cell phone to call Louie and Joni to inform them that we wouldn't be there but other than that we sat. It was almost getting to be dark when I saw our beloved rescuers on the other side of the road , honking , waving , and smiling. They pulled up behind us and jumped out of the car in such a hurry that they locked themselves out of their very own car with the engine still running!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
All I could do was laugh because I had been crying all afternoon and thier just wasn't a drop left.

Where to start?? The FORD saga

What a turn of events that has occured in my life in just the last week. I don't even know where to begin.
Maybe I should go back to a week ago today I was enjoying the tail end of the visit with Moses mom Nashelle and we were driving them into Sacremento where thier plane was to fly out the next day. We said our goodbyes and were headed straight for church to drop Mo off to work. We had just left the gas station and were on the road for about 2o minutes when the Ford started to make some funny noises. Moses told be to pull over to the side of the road and it was a good thing that he did because our engine was just about ready to blow up right there on the the freeway. He popped the hood and the kids and I figured no big deal , Mo is such a mechanical genieus we should be on the road in no time. Much to my dismay this was not the case. Someone had forgotten to put oil in the car(the guilty party shall remain anonymous NOEL) and it was bone dry. OUCH!! Well, I thought good thing we caught it in time but now what? Mo had forgotten his cell phone and wallet and I was glad at least that we had my debit card to go get some oil but it would be on foot and we didnt' know how far so Mo suggested(being the wonderful husband that he is) that he go with my card and hope that they didn't i.d. him. So off he went, while we (me and munchins) sat and sat and sat. One half hour later we saw him going down the other side of the freeway. The kids were happy to see him and so was I but I also realized that this meant that he was headed the other way to find a gas station and who knew how far away the closest one was. So we sat, and sat, and sat. About almost 2 hours after seeing Moses a police officer pulled up behind us. With tears in my eyes I rolled down the window and told him our scenario and he said , "Well, I will go find him and we will be back in a bit" Again, we sat and sat and sat and about 45minutes after he left ,Moses and him pulled up with the oil in hand and popped the hood to fix all the problems. Yipee!!!
The engine turned over and was running for about 45 seconds when it slowly died. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(to be continued)
I promise a happy ending is in sight.

Philippians 3:12-14

"I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
This passage of scripture has really been speaking to me lately because I feel as though I am having to press on through some things. Some old habits that need to die, some areas of my life that have not been disciplined, and some comfort zones that are no longer comfortable for me to live in.
It's a funny thing when God speaks He does it in such a way that I always know that it's Him. At first it is always so quiet and then the longer it takes for me to listen the louder or more evident it becomes that He indeed is talking. The specifics become clear and He gives me the strength to take the steps to walk in obedience.
I am in a "pressing on" season in life. It is good. I am glad that He who began this good work in me a while back is faithful to complete what He has started.

Change of Seasons

Thankful for the change in the seasons. Seems my brain is busting with new ideas and I don't know if it's the nice weather or what but I can hardly even keep up with the excitement in my own head. Does anybody else ever experience that or am I on my own here? It's like when you go to do some spring cleaning and one thing leads to another and before you know you have rearranged the room. I feel like thats what happening on the inside of my head.
Thank God for the change of scenery.

A Gift

Have you ever recieved a gift that you were afraid to use, touch, or move for fear that it might break or get dirty, or even be stolen? When my beloved gramma died this past fall I was given her dutch boy cookie jar. Do I put cookies in it? No. Do I set it on my counter top for all to see? No. It is hidden in my pantry where it can't even get dust on it, let alone be knocked over and broken. Every now and then when I open the cupboard I look at it and it puts a smile on my face but I wonder would my Gramma frown upon the fact that I am not using this to distribute cookies to her great grandbabies.
Sometimes that's the way I feel about the gifts that I have been given from God. One inpaticular , keeps me wondering why did God give this to me? I know so many others who would've done so much greater things with this gift and it almost seems wasted on me because of my fear to use it.
It reminds me of Moses in the bible , not my hubby. We can tell from what is written about him that he definately did not think that he was the right man for the job. When God asked him to go back to his hometown and tell his family and friends that what they were doing was wrong and that they needed to stop immediately and free the Hebrew slaves he questioned Gods call . He even came up with what I think is a pretty legite excuse of not being a good public speaker due to his stuttering. God didn't like his hesitancy because I think it showed Moses lack of faith/trust in Him . I can relate to Moses. I can think of a million excuses not to do what I know in my heart I was designed to do but in the end the call never goes away. The nudging is still there be it ever so small.
Because I know what Jesus said about the gifts that he gives and what we are supposed to do I am trying to be faithful using my gifts the best way I know how but somehow I wonder when I stand before Him will He ask me why I buried so many things because of my fear of rejection or pure complacency. I wonder if it will be enough. I am trying to be faithful but the desire every year grows stronger.
So, I am left at a crossroads. I can start to choose the path of least resistance or I can muster up all the time, energy, courage, strength and boldness that I have left and pursue what it is that I know in my heart is a gift buried right now.

First Grey Hair

That's right , I found it this morning. Had a bit of a different texture. Interesting. Exciting. Bring it ON !! Here's to growing old gracefully.

Jesus you are more than a friend

Your mercy and grace overwhelm me
You bring joy to my soul.
Your love and your grace never fail me.
Your merciful touch always heals me.
You bring joy to my soul.
Joy to my soul.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I watched the half hour special documetary on Dietrich Bonhoeffer that was on PBS the other day and I was surprised by a few things. One, I didn't realize he was in a secret group of men who on several attempts tried to murder Adolf Hitler. Also I didn't realize that he was caught and put in prison because of this.
These points were interesting to me because this is not the sort of thing that you associate a Christian scholar with but I would call him a hero. Would you?? This brought up a good discussion between Moses and myself. I think he did what other countries were afraid to do. Other leaders were turning a blind eye or too busy to notice what this man and his brothers were very aware was going on. He turned against his country and everything comfortable for the sake of strangers. I would call him a hero.
The book I am reading "The Cost of Discipleship" has been difficult at times to swallow because it speaks of a faith that I don't think I really know. I mean not in the sense that he did. I haven't had to abandon anything or suffer. I haven't forsaken everything and everyone for the sake of the gospel. I believe with all my heart that I would if I were asked to but I haven't walked that road yet. He inspires me that it can be done and the book is getting much easier now that I have learned how to read(smile , that's for you Allie)

Working at the Car Wash...

I have a funny story to share . Short and sweet. So, the other day despite my reservations to use up a car wash ticket on such a cloudy day , I threw caution to the wind and went for it. As I finish going thru the automatic wash I pull in to vacuum out the food that is in the back of my car that could probably feed a small family and while I am getting out of the car I notice the teenage boys next to me have decided that the whole state of Nevada should be listening to their music. Now, normally I wouldn't mind this but the rap music that they were listening to was.....Well.....NOT so nice. Very vulgar actually. Anyhew, I go about my business and I am trying not react with the look on my face. They were very nice boys who handed me the bottle of windex when they were done and the vacuum also, but their choice in music was again not so nice.
Everything is going along just fine when in pulls next to me on the other side an older gentleman in a brand new SUV. He steps out of the car and after hearing the music looks at me with a smile , but also kinda in shock and says, " Only in America" to which I reply with only a look of , "I agree" and I chuckle while shaking my head. As I am finishing up he then says to me, "Oh, I thought that was you bumping to that music!" I laughed so hard I had a hard time responding to him because if he only knew how funny that would be, and I say "Now that is funny" and he says, "Well, I am a pretty funny guy" Mister you have no idea.

New Book

So, my new book that I was all excited about the other day, that I blogged about with all the quotes and what not.... well, let's just say this one might take me a while. Those old dead guys man are they wordy.
It's very good and I am only in chapter 5 but this is one of those books that you have to take frequent intermissions or otherwise your forehead begins to hurt from the quizical look permanetly there while reading. Maybe that 's just me and no one else has ever had this experience while reading old dead guys books.
If so then just disregard this blog all together, if not and you know what I am talking about feel free to comment so that I don't feel so slow.

Happy Anniversrary

Mom and Dad 36 years is something to celebrate. I am proud of you and thankful for you. Hope you two love-birds get a nice break. Just singing your praises.

The Cost of Discipleship

I just wanted to share a few snip-its from the book I just started, The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrech Bonhoeffer. Coming off the heals of reading, Monday Morning Church by Jerry Cook this new book already is so parallel in theme. These quotes are from the introduction alone;
"When we go to church and listen to the sermon, what we want to hear is his Word- and that not merely for selfish reasons, but for the sake of the many for whom the Church and her message are foreign."
"The real trouble is that the pure Word of Jesus has been overlaid with so much human ballast-burdensome rules and regulations, false hopes and consolations-that it has become extremely difficult to make a genuine decision for Christ. Of course it is our aim to preach Christ and Christ alone, but , when all is said and done, it is not the fault of our critics that they find our preaching so hard to understand, so overburdened with ideas and expressions which are hopelessly out of touch with the mental climate in which they live."
"They are convinced that it is not the Word of Jesus himself that puts them off, but the superstructure of human, institutional, and doctrinal elements in our preaching."
"Does not our preaching contain too much of our own opinions and convictions, and too little of Jesus Christ? Jesus invites all those that labour and are heavy laden, and nothing could be so contrary to our best intentions, and so fatal to our proclamation, as to drive men away from him by forcing upon them man-made dogmas."
"When the Bible speaks of following Jesus, it is proclaiming a discipleship which will liberate mankind from all man-made dogmas, from every burden and oppression, from every anxiety and torture which afflicts the consciense. If they follow Jesus, men escape from the hard yoke of thier own laws, and submit to the kindly yoke of Jesus Christ."

What I am amazed at most is that this was written in 1937 first and then revised and Copywrit in 1959 and yet it is so applicable for this day and age. I guess this is a problem that the church has been having for quite some time. Nothing new under the sun.
Wow, I am excited to read this rest. This man's life and death(he was matyered for Jesus) tells such a story.

Take me out ....

Take me out to the ball game
Take me out to the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks
I don't care if I ever come back
For it's root root root for the home team
If they don't win it's a shame
For it's one , two, three strikes you're out
at the ol' ball game.

First thought of the season... the Giants need to find themselves a pitcher!!!

A day in the life....

So , today started off pretty good. Got the kiddos up and showered and ready to head out the door, when suddenly I realized it was hat day at Little Lites today. Can't be the teacher without a hat or have my son a straight' A 'student(no such thing in preschool) without a hat on hat day!!! He chose his new nike hat and I of course in preparation for the Bo' Sox first game this weekend chose my Boston Red Sox hat. Before we left though the phone rang and on the other end was an answer to prayer. Our kids dentist bill was dramatacially different than what I thought it was going to be and in fact my complete prayer for this situation was completely answered. I KNOW this is God's doing!! So we were off to school, with hats on our heads and a smile on my face.
Great day at school , some quotes from our class today ; Eli when describing his hat to the class "This is my hat from Ho-tucky that my Nana gave me" I believe it was a University of Kentucky hat, but Ho tucky I think is pretty good. Nathynn, when asked about the memory verse, " The debval is the bad guys boss." We then went on to have a wonderful loud parade and later a special visit from Pastor Louie that was pretty fun.
When I left school today the weather was absolutely fabuloso and so I decided today would be a great day for a car wash. This is the first time I haven't had kids with me thru the wash and let me just say that it was not nearly as much fun. The way thier eyes light up when we go thru the machine is a sight to behold and literally an event for them , kinda like going thru a disneyland ride. After I was done cleaning up the car I shut the last door and went to drive off when I realized I had locked my keys in the car. DAG- NABIT!!! I was determined not to let this ruin my day and the lady who was cleaning her car next to mine had a cell phone that she was kind enough to let me borrow. She had two little girls and said she wasn't going anywhere (fast anyways,w/kids at the car washit takes about half hour longer than normal) so I did call but of course Moses was busy outside and couldn't hear the phone. I then remembered that the gals for Joni's small group were meeting over at Starbucks and I thought maybe I could borrow Joni's car , run to get Moses keys , and then be back in enough to time to finish my other errands. All was well again. Thank you Jesus. I prayed for blessings for that kind lady and for Joni (it's good to have a big family) I was on my way to Wal-Mart for the things that Mo needed and on my way out the Older gentleman greeter was wearing a Bo' Soxs hat we exchanged mutual admiration for our hats and the team and I was off to get the girls from school.
I picked them up and Joni said that they lady who lent me her cell phone stayed around and chatted a bit with the other ladies . Get this , she said that she might be checking out the preschool. How great is that.
Just sharing a day in the life of Noel, Enjoy!!

The story of Mo..el Part 3 of 3

Learning to be complete in God's love and to trust in Him fully for the future was what the time in between my sophmore and senior year taught me. Ephesians 3:14-20
Okay, so this bring us to my Senior year of high school. In between all that time like I said I truly didn't think again about Moses but that was partly due to the fact that I didn't see him again because he had dropped out of high school and partly due to a distraction that I entertained for a bit about another boy. Ya know , I was after all in high school!! Mostly though I really was growing alot in my relationship with Jesus and I was fortunate enough to be able to go on several missions trips during this time that kept me pretty busy.
My Senior year was very hard because I really didn't want to be there anymore. So the year was draggin a bit for me up until mid year one day when I walked into my last class Art, and there was Moses. Whoa!!! I was so shocked I cannot even tell you but again not knowing if he ever got my letter or if he knew who I was now, I just walked on by and sat down at my table in class. Then, when I looked up there he was. Closer than we had ever been before he sat down right next to me and said, "You are Noel right?" To which I replied "Yes" He then said, " I never got to thank you for that letter but it came at a really important time in my life and I just wanted to thank you for it." He then went on to say, "I would really like to get together with you sometime and talk to you about what you believe in" to which I said, "NO"(just kidding) I said yes of course. The class proceeded I left and went right over to my youth pastors house and told them what had happened. I was on cloud 9 you better believe it. I could hardly wait to go back to school the next day but when I did to my total disappointment he wasn't there. The art teacher told me that there was a mix up with the school and that they weren't going to allow him to come and assist in the class anymore. I was pretty upset but I didn't even know how to get a hold of him and certainly didn't want to fall back into my bad stalker habits again so I didn't even try.
Another year went by. I graduated from high school and decided not to go away for college as I originally had planned. I was working at a preschool taking classes at WNCC and had a new roomate at my parents house, my good friend Allie. We would stay up late almost every night into the wee hours of the night(not good for her she was still in high school) but made for some very great memories for me. Anyhew, she asked me whatever happened to Moses to which I replied I have no idea. She then suggested that I look him up in the phone book and see what happens. So I did. I called the listing and to my shock and amazement it was his house but he wasn't home. His roomate Scott answered and said he would give him my message. What I didn't know was that around the same time I was looking for him he had thought of me again as well. Running into a mutual friend he asked where I was and what I was up to. So after a day or so of phone tag we spoke and I invited him to come to our Saturday night college service. He said that sounded great and I was so excited just to see him again. At the same time I was a bit weary because I knew for sure that I wasn't about to just start dating him right away unless I knew he was serious about persuing a relationship with Jesus first. I watched from a distance as he was faithful to come every Saturday and then when he was asked to live in Guys house for the purpose of becoming a stronger Christian (it was called a discipleship house) I knew that he meant business with Jesus and not just with me. This meant a lot to me, his decision probably more than he realized at the time. So for a long time we went out with a big gang of people and then as I got more sure of his intentions for Jesus and for me we started to go out just the three of us, Me , Mo, and my good friend Allie. Poor guy , now that I think back on this time I have to laugh because of the hoops I made him jump through but I had to be sure. Anyway, he didn't seem to mind and even paid for Allie's night out as well(what a gentleman) but it didn't take long before he wanted to know when we could go out on a date alone. I was at this point to be honest a little scared but excited at the same time. We dated for about 2 months before he made his intentions clear that he didn't want to just "be dating" but that in fact he wanted a life partner. I was on board. So at the young age of 19 he asked me to be his wife and the rest is history....present and future.

Story of Mo..el Part 2 of 3

Prayer changes everything!! 1 Timothy 2:1
Now, a few months had gone by since I first saw Moses at that bible study. He had changed girlfriends and was still very much lost in the world from all appearances. I was looking for him at high school around every corner. Truly, he was the highlight of my sophmore year. The girl he was dating at the time I knew to be a Jehovah's Witness so my prayers for him had changed a bit. After I got the prophetic word from my youth pastor though, I knew that I didn't want to upset God any further with my attentions being elsewhere so I decided to write Moses the
letter and not for any other reason than the fact that I wanted him to know that God loved him. When writing this letter you have to realize that I didn't even know if Moses knew who I was. I just wanted to tell him a little bit about the fact that I knew God had bigger and better plans for his life then what I saw him living out. I wanted him to know that the God of the universe was paying attention even if no else was. The letter went something like this;
Dear Moses,
I know you don't know who I am but my name is Noel Pellant. I am a sophmore and I am a Christian. I have been praying for you the last few months and I just wanted you to know that I really believe with all my heart that God has big plans for your life. I don't know much about you but one thing I do know is that Jesus loves you very much and I really wanted you to know that.
Sincerely,
Noel Pellant
It wasn't a long letter and I didn't even know if he would just throw it away or if he would even get it but I knew that in order to move on for me I needed to send it. Again I prayed , "God if we ever talk please let our first conversation be about you so that I will know that you heard my prayers for him" I sent the letter and shortly after I did I was invited to a birthday party of an old friend. I wasn't going to go because I knew that it was going to be the kind of party that I didn't go to anymore but another Christian friend I knew was going and said that she would take me home if I didn't feel comfortable so I went. Most of the night was pretty much a good eye opener for me and made me very thankful that God had brought me out of so much empty living, but about half way thru the night Moses arrived with his friends and he looked very disturbed. I was wondering at this point if he had got the letter, if he knew who I was now, and what was going on in his life that was the cause for all his intoxication and tears that I could see he had been crying.
We didn't even make eye contact until at one point I was sitting down on a couch doing some serious people watching when he suddenly plopped down on the other end of the couch with no one in between. Now, of course inside my head I was thinking all kinds of things, but I didn't even look his way or acknowledge that he was there until he turned to me and said, "Do you believe in eternity?" to which I responded "Yes, I do." After my response the whole world came back to life. His friends plopped down right beside him and continued comforting him for the reason he was upset that evening was that he had broken up with his girlfriend .That I didn't know, but what I did know was that God's hand was indeed moving and I knew in my heart at that point that something very special was happening.
I got up from the couch, went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and thanked Jesus over and over again because I knew that one question about eternity was the conformation I was looking for and that now even if nothing else ever happened , even if I never saw him again I knew that God was moving in his life and that I could leave it in His hands and I did. I didn't pray anymore for him from that moment on and strangely enough I didn't see him again for two more years until my Senior year in high school. I didn't ask about him, think about him, or even wonder about him. Strangely enough my heart was asleep again during those years.
To be continued....

The Story Of Mo..el Part 1of 3

The story of how Moses and Noel came to be Mo..el. The story of how when we wait on God and obey him in all areas of life, when we love Him more than anything or anyone He works all things for good. Romans 8:28
The summer before my sophmore year in high school I was asked by my friend Jen to go to her youth group and I was up for meeting new people and mostly just hanging out with my friend Jen . We went over to some peoples house where about 15 or so teenagers were crammed in a living room for bible study. This is the first time that I met Jen's youth pastors Louie and Joni Locke. We all sat down for a cozy bible study when some late arrivals walked thru the door, a girl I knew from choir Heather and her very very attractive boyfriend Moses.
They introduced themselves to the group and I thought to myself "Whoa that guy is fun to look at,also do they allow older college persons to come to a high school bible study? hmmm.. okay, but since he's not hard on the eyes, the more the merrier" I wish I could say that I still remember to this day what we studied in the bible that night but pretty much my attention was not on the bible as much as it was on Heather's boyfriend. (ouch)
After bible study was over I probably asked my friend a gazillion questions about the mysterious boy named Moses and she clued me in that he was indeed still in High School, that he wasn't a christian, and suddenly, starting my high school year took on a whole new excitement. I soon found out that Moses was actually pretty lost in the world. I began to pray for him. ALOT!!! I asked everyone I knew about him and if they knew why he was named Moses. I thought with a name like that there has to be some history that would give a flicker of hope. No one really knew the story of his name. Well, my interest grew and grew and soon became much more than prayers for salvation, my thoughts turned more toward what most young girls think about at that age, that one boy who would fall hopelessly in love with them and protect them from all the other boys of the world. At this point my self-control was a bit lacking and I became a slight stalker in some sense....well pretty much, yeah a stalker of the high school good christian girl kinda way ,not the burn your bunny kinda way. I knew where he worked, where he lived, his phone number everything. All this time we had never even had a conversation but my prayers for salvation, and ahem....for other things became more frequent. I think this is about the time that God decided to get my attention.
My youth pastor at the time was very prophetic. God told him things all the time that he had no way of knowing other than thru this gift and thankfully his gift was always used for our encouragement. I had told no one in my youth group about my serious crush on Moses and certainly hadn't told my youth pastors anything (somehow i knew it wouldn't be recieved with kudos)Anyway, one day before youth group was to start my youth pastor asked if he could talk to me with his wife privately. Oh man, I knew something was up but I had no idea that the God of the universe would care for me so much as to communicate this to me. My youth pastor said, "Noel, God has told me that he is jealous of the time you have been spending thinking and praying for someone else, you have this romance novel going on inside your head and God really misses you and your attention." Oh man, can I just say, that I was floored!! I had no idea that God was paying that close of attention to me, and my mind but apparently He was. So, I prayed one last time for Moses and this was my prayer, "God I really do hope and pray that all my prayers for Moses to come to know you are the ones that you will answer, more than anything I want him to know the hope for living that I know now in You. Please if all this wasn't a total loss I pray the first time we talk that our conversation would be about you, I am sorry for making you jealous and would it be okay if I write him a letter about you?" To which God gave me the permission to go ahead and write him a letter and then leave it at that.
To be continued......

Coffee

Nothing like a Saturday morning cup of Joe except maybe.....Sunday morning, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday morning or anytime of the day or night.....well you get the point.

At a Loss for words (if you can believe that)

So, I have absolutely nothing to blog about but I really want to blog. I thought about blogging about the last book I just finished, You and Your Child by Charles Swindoll . A very good book but not enough to fill a whole blog topic. Then thought I might add a funny one about the event that took place in our home tonight but others might not find it all that funny. Thought about doing some rebutle blogs to other blogs but I just don't have the energy or thoughts to convey those correctly. So, here I am wanting to talk about something but not really having all that much to say right now. I am however enjoying immensely the topics that have been brought up by everyone else in our blogging community and with that I will say goodnight.

Solomon's Question????

Okay, My son Solomon has yet again stumped me with his line of questions regarding spiritual matters, not good I know to be stumped by a 4 year olds questions. It might worry some of you but how would you answer this one;
"Momma does Jesus love the Debal(devil)?"
My answer was "No." I really don't think that He does. I know He loves everyone and that His life was a an act of love. I know that He is capable of loving even the cruelest criminal but I don't think He loves the devil.
So there it is. What do all think?? The question that followed that one is almost as good "Would Jesus be mad if I killed the Debal(devil)?" To that I also replied "No, he wouldn't and I wish that we could kill the punk devil!"